by Lily Baxter
‘I’m nervous,’ Roz said, clutching her arm. ‘I haven’t ever been in their house. What if Elspeth turns up?’
Susan gave her hand a squeeze. ‘She won’t. Judging by the amount of cocktails those women drank and the bottles of wine they opened to have with their meal, I don’t think any of them will be in a fit state to go anywhere tonight.’ She gave Roz a gentle push towards the car as it drew to a halt.
Patrick leapt from the driver’s seat and hurried round to open the passenger door. He embraced Roz tenderly before helping her into the car, closing the door reverently as if he carried a precious cargo. He turned to Susan, giving her a peck on the cheek. ‘Thanks for this. I’d never have dared suggest it myself, but I’ll always be grateful to you for this chance to set things right with Roz. I do love her, Susan. I’m only sorry that I’ll be leaving her to go through the birth on her own.’
‘I’ve already told her that she’s not alone. We’ll look after her and the baby, and when the war is over you’ll be together again, if that’s what you really want.’
‘It is, and perhaps now I can convince Roz that I meant every word I said. Bless you, Susan.’
She stood aside, watching the car until it was out of sight. She shivered. It was not particularly cold, but she was exhausted and emotionally drained. She went back to the kitchen and finished making the tea, but before she sat down to have her supper she took a mug into the bar for Bob. He never drank alcohol, which had always seemed a bit odd to her considering his occupation, but he was addicted to tea. As long as he was kept constantly supplied with hot, sweet Darjeeling, he declared that he was a happy man. He gave her a beaming smile as she put the mug on the counter. The bar was full and the air thick with tobacco smoke. ‘I could do with a hand,’ he said as she was about to return to the kitchen. ‘Would you give Roz a shout, love? The last hour is going to be a bit hectic.’
She was tired and hungry, but she was prepared to cover for Roz. ‘She’s got a bit of a headache, and she’s gone to bed early. I said I’d help out if you needed me.’
His dark eyebrows met in a frown. ‘Is she okay? Should I send for the doctor?’
‘She’s absolutely fine, and she’ll be right as rain in the morning.’ Susan turned to face the queue of eager customers. ‘Who’s next?’
She was up early next morning. It was still a good hour until dawn, but she needed to be there to unlock the door when Patrick dropped Roz off, and she had to finish her work at the pub before she went to the cottage. She started by clearing the ash from the grate in the ingle nook where the logs had burned away to almost nothing. She laid the fire ready to light later in the day before turning her attention to the coke boiler in the kitchen. She had banked it up with cinders, and it only needed a little encouragement to glow back into life. She returned to the bar and was busy emptying the ashtrays when she heard a car approaching. There were few enough vehicles on the roads, and as it drew up outside she was certain it must be Patrick’s Triumph Gloria. She turned off the lights and opened the outer door. In the faint greenish glow of dawn she could see Patrick and Roz wrapped in a last lingering embrace. With the greatest reluctance they drew apart and Roz stood at the kerb, waving. She turned and walked slowly towards Susan.
‘Are you all right, Roz?’ She had been expecting floods of tears, but to her relief Roz was smiling and her cheeks were delicately flushed. She looked positively glowing.
‘Thank you, Susan,’ she said simply. ‘Thanks for giving me the most wonderful night of my life. We talked about so many things and I know he really loves me, and he wants this baby as much as I do. I can put up with everything now.’
Susan led the way to the kitchen. ‘I knew that you would sort it out if you just had time together. I’m so happy for you, Roz.’ She busied herself making tea and toast while Roz took off her coat and settled down at the table. She spread her hands flat on the scrubbed pine surface just as Susan put the teapot on its stand.
‘That’s an engagement ring,’ Susan said, staring in amazement at Roz’s left hand.
‘It was his mother’s. Elspeth refused to accept it and insisted on having one made especially for her, as if she was blooming royalty.’
‘It’s lovely, but you can’t wear it.’
‘Why not? Patrick gave it to me. It’s mine.’
‘Because your dad will want to know how you came by it when he had forbidden you to see Patrick. If it gets round the village, and it will, then Elspeth will hear about it and she’ll be mad as fire. If you want her to divorce her husband you’re going the wrong way about it.’
Roz stared at her hand and then nodded slowly. ‘I hadn’t thought it through, but I suppose you’re right.’ She slipped the ring off her finger and put it in her pocket. ‘I’ll put it on a chain and wear it round my neck, close to my heart.’ She gave a self-conscious giggle. ‘I never thought I’d do soppy romantic things like that.’
Susan poured the tea. ‘It’s called being in love.’
‘And you would know, wouldn’t you?’
‘What d’you mean?’ Susan’s hand shook and she slopped tea into the saucer.
‘Come off it, Susie. I’ve seen the way Tony looks at you and it’s obvious that the feeling is mutual. Admit it.’
Susan smiled. ‘Well, yes. But we’re taking things slowly. I’ve got to be absolutely certain that he feels the same way about me as I do about him. I can’t bear the thought that it might all go wrong.’
‘All I can say is don’t leave it too late. The war has turned everything upside down, and it makes you realise just how short life is.’ She laid her hand on her stomach. ‘Oh.’
‘What is it? Are you in pain?’
‘No. It moved, Susan. It felt like a butterfly in my tummy. It’s a real little person in there. Oh, my God. I wish Patrick was here.’
Susan arrived at the cottage expecting to find Elspeth sleeping off the excesses of the previous evening, but instead she found her looking immaculate in her navy worsted uniform. She was standing in front of the empty grate, studying her reflection in the mirror while she put on her forage cap, adjusting it several times to set it at the most flattering angle. Despite Elspeth’s many failings, Susan could not help but admire her. ‘You look very smart, ma’am.’
‘I do, don’t I?’ Elspeth patted her hair in place. ‘I think I look the part.’ She picked up her shoulder bag and gasmask case. ‘I didn’t have time to unpack my cases, so you had better do that first. I won’t be in for supper, so you can go when you’ve finished.’ She opened the door, pausing on the threshold. ‘I’m off then. I’m afraid there’s a bit of a mess to clear up, but I’m sure you’ll cope magnificently.’ She left with a wave of her hand, closing the door against a sudden gust of wind and rain.
Susan glanced round with a sigh. Elspeth had not been exaggerating. There were overflowing ashtrays and empty glasses scattered all round the room. The remnants of last night’s meal had been left to congeal on the table, and the white linen napkins were stained with lipstick and lay crumpled on the floor. The kitchen was in an even worse state of chaos. Susan had washed and dried the saucepans before she went home, but later in the evening someone had been making sandwiches. There were crusts and breadcrumbs spilling onto the floor and a half-empty jar of meat paste had been left without its cap so that what was left inside looked grey and unappetising. Empty bottles littered the table top and an attempt to grind coffee beans had obviously ended in disaster as most of it had ended up on the quarry tiles. It was obvious that Elspeth’s elegant friends were unused to looking after themselves. Susan rolled up her sleeves and set to work.
It took her all morning to get the ground floor back into shape, and having treated herself to a cup of tea and toasted the last of the stale bread she went upstairs. She had been dreading what she might find, but she was pleasantly surprised. There were only two bedrooms and once she had made the beds there was little to do other than sort out the jumble of clothes that Elspeth had left piled on
a chair. After an hour of putting gowns on hangers and sorting lingerie from knitwear, Susan had stowed everything neatly away apart from the two Sidcot flying suits, helmets and gloves. She laid them on the bed in the spare room intending to ask Elspeth whether she needed them or wanted them packed away.
Having satisfied herself that she could do no more in the bedrooms, Susan turned her attention to the bathroom. Apart from looking as though there had been a snowstorm in the night, it was simply a matter of wiping up the liberal amounts of talcum powder scattered over the linoleum. She had just cleaned the bath when she heard someone banging on the cottage door, and she hurried down the steep staircase which led directly into the living room. ‘Hold on,’ she called out when the visitor knocked again. ‘I’m coming.’ She opened the door to find Tony standing on the step. ‘Hello. What brings you here?’
He took off his cap, grinning. ‘I’ve had warmer welcomes.’
‘I’m sorry. I was surprised to see you.’
He stepped inside, looking round at the now spick and span room with an admiring nod. ‘Very cosy, but I’d have thought it was a bit bijou for Elspeth’s tastes.’
‘She seems to like it, but you haven’t answered my question. Is there anything wrong? I mean, shouldn’t you be at work?’
‘One of my trainees is off sick,’ Tony said cheerfully. ‘I’ve got a couple of hours free so I thought I’d give you a treat.’
‘Really?’ She stared at him in surprise. ‘What sort of treat?’
‘Did Elspeth bring the flying suits with her?’
‘Of course. She wouldn’t leave them behind.’
‘Go and put one on. I’m taking you up in a Mosquito.’
‘No! You’re teasing me.’
He crossed his heart solemnly. ‘Hope to die.’
‘Don’t say that, even joking.’
‘So you’re superstitious, Sue. That’s another thing I’ve learned about you.’ He touched her cheek with his fingertips and his eyes glowed with tenderness. ‘Go upstairs and change. We haven’t got all day.’
Sitting in the cockpit of the Mosquito was quite literally a dream come true for Susan. She could barely begin to imagine how it must feel to fly such a beautiful machine. Giving her the thumbs up signal, Tony started the engine and taxied onto the airfield.
Susan held her breath as they took off. Used as she was to the Tiger Moth, this was a new and thrilling experience. She fell in love all over again, but this time with a flying machine. She closed her eyes, visualising the instrument panel and working out in her mind which each one did from the air speed indicator to the artificial horizon. She followed Tony’s actions as closely as she could, imagining that she was in sole charge of the plane as they soared high above the fields, farms and the silver thread of the river. He looped the loop and executed a victory roll. She could hardly catch her breath in between each skilful manoeuvre, but it was over too soon. Even after they had landed she sat in the cockpit, unwilling for the experience to end.
Tony climbed onto the wing. ‘Did you enjoy that, Susan?’
‘More than you’ll ever know. It was just amazing. The most wonderful thing that’s ever happened to me.’ She smiled up at him but his attention had been diverted and her heart sank as she saw his expression change. She turned her head and saw an officer striding towards them. There was no mistaking his feelings. He looked positively furious.
‘Better hop out,’ Tony murmured. ‘I think I’m in for it.’ He leapt off the wing and stood to attention, saluting smartly.
Susan climbed out more slowly and slithered to the ground. She could tell from the superior officer’s thunderous expression that Tony had not exaggerated.
‘My office, First Officer Richards. Now.’
‘Yes, Flight Captain.’
The officer turned on his heel and marched off towards the buildings on the edge of the airfield. Susan laid her hand on Tony’s arm. ‘Will you be in a lot of trouble?’
‘Probably, but don’t worry, Susan. It was worth it to see the look on your face.’
‘What will they do to you?’
He shrugged his shoulders. ‘I’ll get my wrist slapped, and a good ticking off. I’m sorry I won’t be able to see you home.’
‘No, of course not. Go on.’
He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. ‘I’ll see you in the pub tonight.’
Susan watched him disappearing into the distance. He had done it for her and she had enjoyed every minute of the flight, but at what cost? She knew nothing about military discipline but judging by the look on the Flight Captain’s face he was not going to congratulate Tony on his demonstration of the Mosquito’s aerobatic powers. She set off for the cottage, wondering whether the news of her escapade would get back to Elspeth. She had been so eager to go up with Tony that she had not stopped to think of the possible consequences for either of them.
She was anxious for the rest of the day, hoping that he would not get into too much trouble, but that evening when closing time approached and there was still no sign of him, she began to feel extremely anxious. Roz had returned from work earlier that evening looking pale and exhausted, and Susan volunteered to take her shift in the bar. Roz had accepted gladly and had gone to bed early. Susan was also tired, but when she eventually got to bed she was too overwrought to sleep, and she tossed and turned in her bed until the early hours of the morning when she eventually fell into a fitful doze.
She was up early and at the cottage before Elspeth left for the aerodrome. ‘Good morning,’ she murmured, taking off her jacket. ‘Is there anything special you want me to do today, ma’am?’
Elspeth’s expression was unreadable and the silence ominous.
‘I borrowed the Sidcot suit yesterday,’ Susan said awkwardly.
‘Yes, I heard about your little escapade. In fact everyone on the airfield knew about it by lunchtime.’
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t think …’ Susan broke off miserably. She knew she was going to be fired, and there was nothing she could say in her defence. When Elspeth did not reply Susan glanced up and was shocked to see a slow smile spreading across her face.
‘You little devil,’ Elspeth said, shaking her head. ‘I didn’t think you had it in you. Do you realise that you broke all the bloody rules, including unlawful use of a military aircraft? You could have been shot as a spy.’
‘No. Could I?’
Elspeth chuckled. ‘Well, probably not. But you could have been arrested for being on the aerodrome without a pass. What were you thinking of, Susan?’
‘Tony knew that it was my dream to fly in a military aeroplane and he took me up. What will happen to him? They won’t shoot him, will they?’
‘No, but he’s been sacked. I could wring your neck for losing me the best instructor I could ever have. You might have waited until I completed my training.’
Susan’s legs gave way beneath her and she sank down on the sofa. ‘I knew he’d get into trouble but I didn’t think he’d lose his job. This is all my fault.’
‘Don’t be silly. Tony knew the score but he quite obviously wanted to make an impression on a pretty girl, only he went too far. He’s not the first idiot to do something so utterly stupid because of a woman, and I doubt if he’ll be the last.’ She picked up her forage cap. ‘I’m off to the ferry pool. I’ll be dining with some of the girls tonight, so you needn’t prepare anything.’
‘Aren’t you going to fire me?’
‘Why should I? I think you were misguided, but I can understand your passion for flying. However, I’d advise you to steer clear of the airfield from now on, or you might end up on jankers, and that would reflect badly on me.’ She glanced out of the window. ‘Bloody weather. There won’t be any flying this morning, so it looks like it will be bridge and gossip, or else someone will be playing songs from ‘The Strawberry Blonde’ on the gramophone. If I have to listen to ‘And the Band Played On’ once more I swear I’ll smash the wretched record. Too ghastly. Never mind, I suppose it�
��s all in a day’s work.’
‘I’d give anything to be there,’ Susan said, sighing. ‘It sounds wonderful.’
Elspeth’s lips curved in a cynical smile. ‘You’re very young. Wait until you’re a mature woman of twenty-seven who’s had her heart broken more times than she can remember, and then see how wonderful you think life is.’
‘Have you had your heart broken?’
‘Not me personally, sweetie.’ Elspeth flung her mink coat around her shoulders. ‘Try not to get into any more trouble today, Susan. I’m the girl with the reputation for breaking all the rules; I don’t need competition from you.’ She let herself out of the cottage and moments later Susan heard the roar of the roadster as Elspeth drove off, even though it was only a ten minute walk to the aerodrome. She set about her tasks methodically, but her heart was not in her work. Tony was constantly in her thoughts and she was swamped by feelings of guilt. She knew that he would contact her as soon as he was able, but that did not make waiting any easier.
She was outside in the tiny garden sifting the ashes from the fire when she looked up and saw a familiar figure walking down the lane. She dropped the sieve and ran towards him. ‘Tony.’ She flung her arms around him regardless of the fact that her clothes were powdered with ash. ‘I’ve been so worried about you. I couldn’t bear it if anything bad happened to you.’
He held her close, a slow smile spreading across his face. ‘It was worth losing my job if only to hear you say that.’ He kissed her and she responded wholeheartedly.
Minutes later they were sitting side by side on Elspeth’s sofa. Susan traced the outline of his jaw with the tip of her forefinger. ‘I feel dreadful. You’d never have done anything so rash if it hadn’t been for me. Elspeth told me that you’d lost your job, so what will happen now?’
‘They can’t afford to lose a good pilot. I’m being sent to number 3 ferry pool. I’m quite pleased, because flying is what I love to do, but there’s a drawback.’
She swallowed convulsively as an ice-cold shiver ran down her spine. ‘What? Tell me.’