by Lily Baxter
‘Yes. I – I’m sorry, I can’t talk now. Thank you for letting me know.’ It was only when she replaced the receiver that she realised Danny was standing close behind her, and Charlie was nuzzling her hand as if he understood her distress.
‘Are you okay?’
‘Yes. I mean no. I don’t know.’
He made an attempt at a smile. ‘You know Tony. He’ll be fine. He’s a survivor if ever there was one.’
‘I can’t believe it. He couldn’t be dead, could he?’ Too stunned for tears, she looked to him for confirmation but he shook his head.
‘Don’t even think about it, Susan.’ He went to put his arms around her but a scream from upstairs made him freeze. ‘You’d better go to her. She needs you.’
‘Yes.’ Susan still could not move.
Gently but firmly, Danny guided her to the foot of the stairs. ‘Go on. I’ll wait for the doctor. I won’t leave you.’ He grasped Charlie’s collar as he attempted to follow her. ‘You stay with me, old chap. There’s nothing we fellows can do to help in a situation like this.’
Her feet felt like lead weights and every step was an effort but somehow Susan made it to the bedroom. One look at Roz’s contorted features and agonised expression was enough to bring her abruptly back to the present. Pushing her worries to the back of her mind Susan concentrated all her efforts on calming and soothing her. She bathed her forehead with cool water and made sympathetic noises, encouraging her to push and hoping that she was doing the right thing. Loud snores emanated from Bob’s room and Susan could only wonder that he could sleep through his daughter’s agonised screams interspersed with swearing that would have made a trooper blush. But as the night wore on she could only be glad that he was not pacing the floor downstairs, frantic with worry and desperately afraid.
It was almost two o’clock before Dr Snow walked into the bedroom, and by that time Susan’s hands were bruised and painful. Roz had gripped them with surprising strength as each wave of pain overtook her. Susan had had to bite her lip in order to prevent herself from crying out as she felt her knuckles crack. She extricated her hands from Roz’s frantic grasp and stood up. ‘I’m so pleased to see you, Dr Snow.’
His face was grey with fatigue and lines crisscrossed his brow, but he managed a glimmer of a smile. ‘You’ve done well. Now I suggest you go downstairs and make a pot of tea.’
‘I don’t want bloody tea,’ Roz groaned. ‘Just get this thing out of me.’
‘Now now, Rosemary. That’s enough bad language from you, and the tea is for me. I’ve just delivered a baby at Latchet Farm and he’s a fine healthy little boy, so now let’s concentrate on you.’
Susan made her escape. She went to the kitchen and was almost knocked over by Charlie’s enthusiastic greeting. Danny was standing at the stove pouring boiling water into the teapot. He turned to her and winked. ‘This is why they boil water in the movies. They’ve got someone making quarts of tea for the actors and camera crew.’
She sank down on the nearest chair. ‘Danny, you’re a treasure. I don’t know what I’d do without you.’ She patted Charlie as he laid his head on her knee. ‘Good boy.’
‘I am a good boy, aren’t I?’ Danny said, chuckling. He took a seat beside her and his comical expression forced a smile to her lips.
‘You are such a fool, Danny. You can always make me laugh.’
He pulled a face. ‘Court jester, that’s me.’
‘No,’ she said earnestly. ‘You’re the best friend a girl could have. I don’t know what I’d do without you.’
‘What you need is a nice hot cup of tea.’ He reached for the pot and poured tea into two mugs, adding a dash of milk and a spoonful of sugar into Susan’s despite her protests that the doctor’s need was greater than her own. In the end it was Danny who took a cup to Dr Snow and he returned quickly. He was, Susan noted, slightly green around the gills and unusually quiet.
Less than an hour later, although it had seemed much longer, Susan was called upstairs by the doctor. She ran all the way and arrived in Roz’s room breathless and panting. Dr Snow thrust a small bundle of humanity into her arms and despite his obvious exhaustion he was smiling. ‘It’s a girl,’ he said proudly. ‘I want you to hold her while I look after Rosemary.’
Susan clasped the baby in her arms. ‘Is Roz all right?’ she asked, looking anxiously at Roz’s still form lying beneath the sheet. Her face was drawn and her eyes were closed, the rise and fall of her chest the only indication that she was still breathing.
‘She’s exhausted but she’ll be fine. I’m just going to do the necessary and then I’m sure a cup of tea would be just the thing. I could do with another one if there’s any left in the pot.’
Dismissed from the bedroom, Susan carried the baby downstairs as if she were handling a fragile piece of porcelain that was worth a king’s ransom. She gave Charlie a curt order to sit as she entered the kitchen, and Danny rushed forward to look at the baby. He drew the shawl back gently from the infant’s face. ‘Is it a girl or a boy?’
‘A girl. She’s beautiful, isn’t she?’
He studied the baby’s face with a critical eye. ‘Looks more like a wizened old man or a little monkey, but I’ll take your word for it.’
The baby opened her big blue eyes and stared at Susan. She felt a tug at her heartstrings and a protective love for the child even though they were not in any way related. ‘She’s really beautiful,’ she breathed ecstatically. ‘She’s so tiny. Just look at her little hands and her perfect fingernails.’
Danny put his head on one side. ‘Still looks like a monkey to me.’
Susan giggled. ‘You have no soul, Danny Gillespie.’ She stopped short as she remembered Dave’s phone call and the dreadful news that Tony was missing in action. She blinked back tears. ‘I’d better take her back to Roz.’
She found Roz propped up on the pillows and Dr Snow making ready to leave. She laid the baby carefully in her mother’s arms. ‘She’s gorgeous, Roz. You are so clever.’
‘She is lovely, isn’t she?’ Roz gazed at her daughter as if seeing a miracle. ‘She’s so little. I can’t believe she’s mine.’
Dr Snow cleared his throat. ‘You wait until she wakes you several times a night for a feed, young lady. You won’t be so starry-eyed then.’
Roz shrugged and cuddled the baby to her. ‘I won’t mind. She can do anything she likes. I can’t wait to show her to Patrick. He’ll be such a proud father.’
Dr Snow made a harrumphing noise and picked up his bag. ‘I’ll call in tomorrow, my dear. Try to get some rest now.’ He patted Susan on the back. ‘You did well, Susan. I’ll know who to call on if I need help in the midwifery department.’
Roz yawned sleepily. ‘There won’t be a next time for me, doctor. That damn well hurt.’
‘They all say that, Rosemary, but I guarantee she won’t be your only child.’ He left them, closing the door softly behind him.
‘What are you going to call her?’ Susan said, moving the Moses basket closer to the bed. ‘Have you chosen a name yet?’
‘Jennifer Maureen. Jennifer after my mother and Maureen after one of my best friends at school.’ She was suddenly alert. ‘Where’s Dad? Was he pacing the floor all night? I want him to meet his granddaughter.’
Susan was not going to upset Roz by telling her the truth. ‘He was worried, of course, but he’ll be thrilled. I’ll go and tell him it’s all over and he’s a proud grandfather.’
It took Susan several minutes to awaken Bob. His room smelt like a distillery and when he finally opened his eyes he had the look of a man who had been to hell and back. She suggested tactfully that he had a shave before he went to see Roz and Jennifer and then she went downstairs to make him a cup of strong black coffee. Danny was having a onesided conversation with Charlie when she entered the kitchen. She paused in the doorway, smiling. ‘You’ve been wonderful, Danny. I don’t know how I would have managed without you.’
‘It was nothing.’ He patted Char
lie on the head. ‘Look after your mistress, old man. I’ve got to get back to my digs. My landlady is going to think I’m a dirty stop-out.’
Susan went to draw the blackout curtains. ‘It’s getting light. I could make us some breakfast and we could go straight to work.’
He stared at her, his eyes wide with astonishment. ‘You’re going in today? Don’t you think it would be better if you got some sleep?’
She shook her head. ‘I won’t be able to rest. I’ll keep thinking about Tony and it’ll be torture. I’d rather go to work as usual, and keep myself occupied.’
Halfway through the morning Susan was sent to the canteen with an order for biscuits and cake, if there was any, for the tea break. Workers’ Playtime was blaring out in the factory and it was a relief to escape to the relative peace and quiet of the aerodrome. She was striding past the ferry pool when she saw Elspeth standing outside smoking a cigarette. Even at a distance Susan could see that her hand was shaking and her face pale beneath her makeup. She knew Elspeth well enough to realise that there was something seriously wrong. She walked over to her. ‘Are you all right?’
Elspeth took a long drag on her cigarette before answering. She exhaled smoke into the air. ‘Bad news, I’m afraid, sweetie.’
With her own pain still raw Susan was more than sympathetic. ‘I’m so sorry.’
Elspeth stared at her with narrowed eyes. ‘It’s Patrick. You can tell that tart that he’ll never marry her now. I’ve only just heard the news. He’s dead.’
Chapter Twenty
‘No.’ Susan shook her head. ‘It must be a mistake. He’s not in the front line.’
‘Nothing so heroic. The poor devil was kicked in the head by a horse he was treating. It fractured his skull and there was nothing they could do to save him.’
Susan stared at her in horror mixed with astonishment. There were tears in Elspeth’s eyes and her mascara was smudged, giving her a panda-like appearance that might have been comical if it were not so sad. ‘I thought you hated him.’ She had not meant to blurt the words out, but she was as shocked by the news as she was astounded to realise that Elspeth had feelings for the husband she had been so eager to divorce.
‘Love, hate, it’s all the same thing, darling.’ Elspeth sucked smoke into her lungs and exhaled on a sob. ‘It’s all my fault. He’d never have enlisted if Daddy hadn’t made it impossible for him to keep his practice. I sent the poor devil to his death because I was jealous. I didn’t want him but I couldn’t stand the thought of him being happy with that woman.’
At a loss as to how to deal with her in this state, Susan could not help wondering if Elspeth’s emotions were genuine or if she was simply acting out the part of tragedy queen. She took her hanky out of her pocket and handed it to her. ‘You might want to wipe your eyes.’
‘I suppose my mascara has run. It’s the last of my expensive spit-black too. I suppose I’ll have to resort to soot like the rest of the girls now. I hate this bloody war.’ Elspeth snatched the hanky and dabbed ineffectually at her eyes. ‘I must look like hell.’
Susan was relieved to see a shadow of the old Elspeth coming to the fore, but she still could not believe that Patrick had met his death in such a way. ‘How did you hear about Patrick? I mean, could it be a mistake?’
‘His commanding officer telephoned me, darling. He’s a golfing pal of Daddy’s, so I had it straight from the horse’s mouth, you might say.’ Elspeth gave a hysterical giggle and buried her face in the handkerchief. ‘I was such a bitch to poor old Patrick. Now I’ll never be able to tell him I’m sorry.’ She burst into a noisy bout of sobbing.
With her own feelings still raw from the news that Tony was missing, Susan did not know whether to sympathise or to walk away and leave Elspeth to wallow in her feelings of guilt. It was Roz and her baby daughter who were uppermost in her thoughts now. How would she break the news that would shatter her friend’s dreams of married life with Patrick? Her heart would be broken, and Jennifer would grow up never knowing her father. That was something Susan understood only too well. At least Jennifer had a loving mother and grandfather. She would know that her parents had loved each other. She jumped as someone hailed her across the tarmac.
‘Hey, Sue. Where are those snacks? The chaps have almost finished their tea.’
She glanced over her shoulder and saw one of the mechanics coming towards them. She put her hand in her pocket and took out the money she had collected from her workmates. ‘I’ve got a friend in crisis, Phil.’ She thrust the coins into his hand as he came up to her panting and out of breath. ‘Be a sport and fetch the stuff from the canteen. I’ll get back to work as quickly as I can.’
He tipped his cap, grinning. ‘Okay, ma’am. But you’d better get a move on. The foreman is on the prowl. We’ve got seven Spits in for repair and more to come. We’ll be doing overtime tonight.’ He strode off in the direction of the canteen.
‘I’m all right, sweetie,’ Elspeth said, blowing her nose and sniffing. ‘I’ve got to deliver a Mossie today, but I don’t think I can do it.’
Was she acting or had her self-confidence taken a near-fatal blow? Susan stared at her, making an effort to understand what made her tick and failing miserably. Torn between the desire to slap her or to put her arms around Elspeth’s elegantly slim body and hug her, she did neither. ‘That’s not like you. I can’t believe I’m hearing this sort of talk from one of the stars of the ATA.’
This brought a reluctant smile to Elspeth’s lips. ‘Star? I don’t think so, darling. I’m more like a comet that’s lost its tail. I can’t fly today. I simply can’t.’
‘Yes, you can,’ Susan said firmly. ‘You’re fearless when you’re airborne. I’ve been up there with you, so I know.’
‘You are a sweetie, Susan. I’m sorry that Colin behaved so badly. I know the bastard has more hands than an octopus, but I can’t help myself. I suppose I must love him, although it’s come as a bit of a shock. I never thought I had a heart.’
Susan glanced at her watch. The tea break would be over now and if her absence was noticed she would be in trouble, but she could not simply walk away and leave Elspeth in such a state. ‘Forget Colin, forget everything other than your job. You’ll never forgive yourself if you chicken out now.’
Elspeth sniffed and shook her head. ‘You’re right, of course, but I don’t feel up to it.’
Susan resorted to anger. ‘You’re not the only one who’s lost someone they care about. Tony was shot down over Germany. He’s missing in action, and for all I know he might be dead. We’d only just got engaged, so don’t pretend you’re a special case. You’re just feeling guilty and you’d better get over it because if you don’t go up today you’ll be letting everyone down. I don’t think you’ll be very popular in the mess if you refuse to fly because your ex-husband has bought it.’
Elspeth recoiled and her eyes widened with shock. ‘That’s not fair, sweetie. I’m sorry about your man, of course, but it’s different for me.’
‘Stop acting like a spoilt brat and get on with it.’
Susan’s harsh words appeared to have the desired effect. Elspeth bridled. ‘How dare you speak to me in that tone of voice?’
‘We’re all equal now. I’m not your servant, but for some odd reason I care about you, Elspeth. Maybe it’s because we both love flying, I don’t know. What I do know is that you’ve got a job to do.’
‘I feel ghastly. I really can’t do it on my own, but if I don’t go I might be chucked out of the ATA. I’ve broken too many rules latterly to get any second chances.’ Elspeth held her hands out to Susan in a helpless gesture. ‘Come with me, darling.’
For a moment Susan thought that she was joking. ‘I can’t do that. I’m not one of you lot.’
‘But you’re a mechanic of sorts, Susan. I need someone to give me confidence.’ Elspeth took off her forage cap and ran her hand through her hair. ‘It’s not just Patrick’s death that’s thrown me. Colin walked out this morning. He told me he’d
fallen for a cigarette girl who works in a London nightclub. Can you believe that, darling? Me, Elspeth Colby-Peterson, thrown over for a brainless bimbo?’
‘All the more reason to show him you don’t care.’
‘But I do, that’s the bugger of it. I’ve always been the one in the driving seat, and now I’m not. It’s shattering, sweetie. Absolutely, bloody shattering. Please come with me, Susan. I’ve never begged for anything in my life, but I’m begging you now.’
Susan was torn between loyalty to her fellow workers and the debt of gratitude she felt for Elspeth in that she had given her the opportunity to fly. She knew it was a foolish thing to do and she would get into enormous trouble if she did what Elspeth asked, but with Tony gone there was nothing much left that could hurt her. She nodded her head. ‘All right, but I’ll need a Sidcot suit and everything.’
‘That’s not a problem. Come to the girls’ changing rooms. The others should have gone their separate ways by now.’
‘I must be mad,’ Susan muttered as she followed Elspeth into the building. ‘Stark staring mad.’
Wearing a flying suit, helmet and goggles, Susan climbed into the cockpit of the Mosquito. It was one thing to go for a joyride in such a giant but quite another to be on a real mission, and it was hard to believe that she was actually sitting in the co-pilot’s seat. She had managed to put a quick phone call through to the workshop and had told Danny what she proposed to do, and had asked him to warn Roz that she might be late home, hanging up without giving him the chance to argue.
To her amazement no one on the airfield had questioned her right to accompany Elspeth, who seemed to have recovered some of her old spirit, as she started the engine and checked the instruments before taxiing onto the runway. She performed with such skill and confidence that Susan wondered why she had allowed herself to be talked into accompanying her. But as they took off she knew why she had come and it had nothing to do with Elspeth’s attack of the jitters. The truth, if she cared to admit it, was that she simply could not pass up the opportunity to get airborne again.