by Lily Baxter
Susan wiped her eyes on the back of her hand. ‘Thanks, but I’m okay. I’m just so happy I don’t know what to say.’
The sound of a cork popping made everyone turn to look at Bob. He held up a bottle of champagne. ‘I was saving this for the end of the war, but this seems like as good a time as any. We haven’t had much to celebrate recently, so let’s drink to young Tony.’
Roz gave Susan’s hand a squeeze. ‘I’ll pass them round,’ she said, making her way to the bar. ‘I think you’ll need another bottle, Dad.’ Balancing a tray on one hand she served Dave and Susan first. ‘Why don’t you take your drinks out in the garden? It’s a gorgeous day and I’m sure you’ve a lot to talk about.’
Dave nodded. ‘I’d like that. Is it all right with you, Susan? I mean, you’ve only just arrived home, and it’s all been a bit of a shock for you.’
She slipped her hand through the crook of his arm. ‘It’s the best sort of shock, but I’m afraid I might be dreaming.’
Roz pinched her, chuckling when Susan yelped with pain. ‘Just to prove you’re wide awake and it’s true. I’m so happy for you.’
‘Thanks. That means a lot to me.’ Susan felt a shiver run up her spine as she met Roz’s smiling gaze. She could feel the sadness beneath that generous smile and she could only imagine what Roz must be feeling at this moment. She glanced at Jennifer, sound asleep in Danny’s arms, and when he gave Roz an encouraging smile it came to Susan in an intuitive flash that these three were meant to be together. Roz might not know it yet and Danny was perhaps not fully aware of the depth of his feelings for Roz, but Susan could see quite clearly that they were falling in love with each other.
‘Come on, ducks,’ Dave said gently. ‘Let’s go outside and get some sunshine and you can tell me all about your flying lessons. Roz said that you flew a Mosquito all by yourself. By golly, Tony will be proud of you. I know I am.’
Any last trace of embarrassment that Susan felt in Dave’s company faded away as they sat in the beer garden and chatted over their drinks. He was once again the father figure that she had longed for all her life. He listened to her intently, making appropriate comments and applauding her actions with warmth and genuine sincerity. His pale eyes flashed with anger when she told him how Colin had treated Elspeth.
‘She didn’t deserve that,’ he said, nodding his bald head. ‘She may be a bit of a madam but she’s been good to you, Susan. That makes her all right in my book. I’d like to meet her and shake her hand.’
Susan angled her head. ‘Would you really, Dave?’
‘I just said so, didn’t I?’ He swallowed the rest of his half-pint of shandy, which he had substituted for the champagne saying that it gave him heartburn. ‘We’ll invite her to the wedding. Let’s hope it won’t be long before Tony’s home with us again.’
Susan raised her glass. ‘I’ll drink to that, Dad.’ She hesitated, realising what she had just said. ‘Do you mind if I call you dad? I never felt quite comfortable calling you Dave.’
His eyes misted behind the thick lenses of his glasses. ‘Nothing could make me happier. I always wanted a daughter as well as a son.’ He reached across the rustic wooden table and laid his hand over hers. ‘I’m so glad you’ve forgiven me for making a complete fool of myself.’
She smiled. ‘Forgiven and forgotten.’
There was a festive atmosphere in the bar that night. Everyone knew by now that Tony Richards was safe, even if he did have to suffer the rigours of a prison camp. It touched Susan to realise how popular he was with the locals. By the end of the evening she had listened to many stories of small kindnesses that he had done for people with whom he had just a fleeting acquaintance, whether it was a lift to town on a cold and wet day, or the loan of ten bob to Nutty Slack when he was short of the rent. Tony was remembered with genuine affection and she wondered, with a wry smile, if his ears were burning.
Dave seemed to be enjoying himself. He sat on a bar stool chatting to Bob as if they were old friends and Charlie positioned himself at his feet, getting in the way of customers waiting to be served but nobody seemed to mind climbing over a large, well-fed Labrador to get to the bar.
Susan could scarcely stop smiling. She felt as though her face was set in a rictus grin that would last forever. Tony was alive; that was all that mattered. She even managed to forget that the first of her theory exams for a pilot’s licence were starting on Monday. In the excitement of learning that Tony had survived she had not had the time or the inclination to tell Roz or Bob that she was taking the examinations that could change her life forever. She had, however, confided in Dave and now he met her eyes across the bar and gave her an encouraging wink and a smile. She smiled back, knowing that he had gone through the same thing with Tony when he applied for his pilot’s licence, and that Dave understood exactly how she was feeling. She vowed silently that she would not let either of them down. Tony had believed in her and that was why he had risked his job to take her up in a Mosquito. She felt a lump in her throat as she remembered that time which seemed so long ago now, and suddenly she needed to get away from the crowded bar. She wanted a few moments on her own. She tapped Bob on the shoulder. ‘Do you mind if I go for a break?’
He beamed at her. ‘Of course not, love. If you’re making a pot of tea make mine milk and two sugars.’ He turned back to Dave. ‘You’ll stay tonight, of course. You’ve missed the last train anyway.’
Susan did not wait to hear his response. She left the crowded bar and went through to the kitchen with Charlie relinquishing his post at Dave’s feet to follow her. She put the kettle on but she had the sudden need for a breath of fresh air, and she went out into the garden. The sun had long since set and the light was fading fast. The warm summer air was fragrant with the scent of honeysuckle and roses. Most of the garden had been dug over and planted with vegetables, but the pergolas were still heavy with flowers and foliage. She could hear the chickens clucking as they made ready to roost in the hen house, and starlings swooped overhead in noisy black clouds. She strolled across the yard, stepping carefully to avoid bumping into kegs and crates of empty bottles, and Charlie ran round sniffing scents that were only discernible to a dog.
She came to a sudden halt as she heard voices, realising that she was not alone in the garden. A pale moon was visible overhead and in its silver light she saw a couple standing under the sycamore tree, they were so close that their bodies merged into one. She recognised Roz by her colourful cotton frock, and as the man bent his head to kiss her she saw that it was Danny who held her in such a tender embrace. Susan backed away, calling Charlie to heel. She gazed up at the evening stars and wished that the war would end soon so that she could be reunited with the man she loved. She retreated to the kitchen feeling slightly envious. She was happy of course that Danny had found someone worthy of his love, and delighted to know that Roz would not have to raise her child alone, but seeing them together had also made her feel sad. The heartache caused by separation had never seemed more acute than it did at this moment. Tony was somewhere in Germany, incarcerated in a prison camp, the like of which she could not begin to imagine. She could only hope and pray that he would survive.
She made the tea and took a cup through to the bar for Bob. She was smiling, but inwardly she was crying.
On Monday she had been allowed time off work to sit her first theory examination. The rest were spread out over the week and in between she had to undergo a medical. She had clocked up the requisite number of flying hours and done everything that was required for a private pilot’s licence, and now she waited for the result. She had gone to the factory as usual but it was almost impossible to settle down to the boring routine tasks that she was given daily. She knew that she had passed the medical examination but she was worried about the theory. She was sweeping the factory floor when the supervisor came up to her and told her she was to go to the boss’s office. ‘What have you done, Banks? Looks like you’re in big trouble. Best get a move on.’
What
had she done? Susan could think of nothing apart from taking time off to sit her exams, but she had been doing so with permission from her manager. With some trepidation she made her way through the factory to the suite of offices where Mr Colby held court. No one from the works was allowed into this area without permission, and her knees were trembling as she raised her hand to knock on the door.
Chapter Twenty-Two
She was ushered into the most palatial office that she could ever have imagined. Her feet sank into the deep pile of the midnight-blue carpet and the scent of expensive aftershave and cologne wafted round her in a cloud. She had only seen Cyril Colby from a distance, but she recognised him now as he sat in his throne-like chair behind a huge mahogany desk. His craggy features cracked into a semblance of a smile. ‘So this is your protégée, Elspeth.’
Susan had been dimly aware that they were not alone, but she had been too nervous to look at the two people who were seated in white leather armchairs with their backs to her. She stifled a gasp of surprise as Elspeth rose to her feet and came towards her, hands outstretched. ‘Congratulations, darling.’ She handed Susan a manila envelope. ‘I simply had to give it to you myself.’
‘What is it?’
‘Darling, it’s your pilot’s licence, of course. I bypassed the official channels because I wanted to see your face when you opened it.’
‘I’ve passed?’
‘With flying colours. I’m so proud of you, Susan.’
She opened the envelope with shaking hands, but the print on the enclosed document danced before her eyes like tadpoles swimming in a pond. This was something she had wanted so much. It was almost impossible to believe that her hard work had paid off. It simply could not be happening to a girl from her disadvantaged background.
‘Congratulations, Miss Banks.’ Cyril Colby rose from his seat and came towards her. He shook her hand. ‘I admire pluck and determination. You’ve done well.’
‘She certainly has.’ Elspeth beckoned to her companion. ‘There’s someone I want you to meet, sweetie.’
Any moment now she would wake up in bed and it would all have been a dream. ‘Really?’ Even to her own ears her voice sounded strained and far away.
Elspeth held out her hand to a tall, attractive woman in ATA uniform. ‘I’m sure you know who this is, Susan?’
Susan gulped and swallowed. She had seen Pauline Gower several times, but only in the distance. She nodded, unable to speak.
‘Pauline, this is Susan Banks, the girl I told you about,’ Elspeth said, suddenly serious. ‘She’s just about scraped two hundred hours’ flying time in my Tiger Moth and she’s just been granted her pilot’s licence. What do you think?’
‘I think she’s wasted working in my factory,’ Cyril Colby said before Pauline had a chance to respond. ‘Elspeth bullied me into taking her on, but I’d be grateful if you would take her off my hands so that I can fill her place with someone whose head isn’t quite literally in the clouds.’
Pauline threw back her head and laughed. ‘Now why do I feel that I’m being press-ganged into this?’
‘It’s entirely up to you, ma’am,’ Elspeth said, holding up her hands in a submissive gesture. ‘I wouldn’t dream of using Daddy’s friendship with Pop d’Erlanger to influence you in any way.’
Cyril shook his head, smiling. ‘Don’t take any notice of her, Pauline. The decision is, of course, entirely yours.’
‘I think that Susan and I need to have a serious talk,’ Pauline said calmly. ‘In private, if that’s possible.’
‘Of course. Take as long as you like.’ Cyril seized Elspeth by the arm and guided her towards the door. ‘We’ll go for a walk. We’ve things to mull over anyway.’
‘She’ll make a fine pilot,’ Elspeth insisted as she left the room. ‘With a few weeks’ training she’ll be one of the best. Oh, Daddy, stop pulling my arm. I’m coming.’
The door closed on them and Susan was left face to face with the woman who, next to Amy Johnson, was her idol.
‘Sit down, Susan. Tell me why you want to join the Air Transport Auxiliary.’
*
At the end of her initial training, Susan joined number 15 ferry pool at Hamble. She received a friendly enough welcome but she sensed the reserve behind some of the smiling faces. She decided to keep her head down and work hard. Respect was something that had to be earned; that was a lesson she had learned long ago.
In some ways being in the mess waiting for the delivery chits seemed like being back in school. Everything was run to a strict timetable and there were definite cliques. The other women came from diverse backgrounds and many different countries, some of them barely speaking English, but all with the one purpose: to fly any and every aircraft assigned to them. Susan was very much the new girl but she worked hard, studied and never complained. She learned how to fly everything from a Hurricane to a Lancaster, but her proudest moment came when she flew her first Spitfire. At last her lifelong ambition was achieved when she delivered a Spitfire to Cosford.
On some occasions she flew a four-engine bomber with nothing but a ring-bound set of handling notes tucked in her flying boot to give her the critical statistics and notations necessary to fly that particular aircraft, and later the same day she might be assigned to flying a Mosquito or a Spitfire. It was not always easy and the weather played a huge part in the day to day job of the ferry pilots. It was lonely work and extremely dangerous. They flew unarmed and without radios. There were fatalities amongst both male and female pilots and Susan was well aware that she risked her life daily, but she would not have changed her job for anything in the world.
Even with her busy schedule she still spent her spare time helping out in the pub. Some of the wealthier society girls in the ATA lived much less mundane lives, driving up to London and dining out in expensive nightclubs, dancing until dawn but still managing to be ready for work at nine o’clock sharp. Sometimes Susan envied them, thinking they were like exotic birds of paradise and she was a Jenny wren, but mostly she was glad to get back to the comforting ordinariness of the pub, with nappies hung out to dry on the washing line and chats with the locals over the bar.
Time was measured now by the milestones in Jennifer’s life: her first smile, her first word, and all too soon she took her first tentative steps. Susan was happy to be a proud auntie, and even happier when in the summer of 1944 she was bridesmaid at Roz and Danny’s wedding. It was a quiet affair and of necessity less than lavish. Roz had saved up all her coupons to buy a new dress, but there was no question of a white wedding. Her gown was made of peach-coloured rayon with a sweetheart neckline, fitted tightly to the waist and flaring gently to just below her knees. She wore her hair in a victory roll, and a perky little hat decorated with a silk rose donated by Elspeth. Susan had learned to sew in the children’s home and she had made a floral summer frock for herself which complemented Roz’s rather plain outfit but did not detract from it. She too had borrowed a hat from Elspeth, a rather fetching straw picture hat which made her feel glamorous, like Veronica Lake or Anna Neagle.
Elspeth herself was sporting an indecently large diamond engagement ring, and had Colin well and truly in tow. They were guests at the wedding, which would have seemed quite odd in peacetime. Bob had demurred when Roz said she was going to invite Patrick’s widow and her boyfriend to her wedding, but Roz had insisted that it was all water under the bridge. Elspeth was Susan’s friend, and it had been through her auspices that Susan had learned to fly and gained admission to the ATA. Life was too short, she said, to hold grudges. If Elspeth had moved on then so could she.
Roz and Danny were married in the village church, with Jennifer toddling up the aisle clutching a posy of rosebuds and Susan following her like a nervous mother hen whose chick had turned out to be a duckling and had taken to the water. Dave came down from London for the occasion and Bob was every inch the proud father as he gave his daughter away. Susan’s fears that he might start drinking again after a prolonged dry spell we
re unfounded, and at the reception in the pub the only alcoholic beverage that passed his lips was a glass of champagne to toast the happy couple.
The wedding cake had been made by Mrs Delaney who had been hoarding dried fruit for months, and even then there was more carrot and grated apple in the mixture than raisins or sultanas, but disguised by a cardboard cover of imitation icing borrowed from the baker’s shop the cake looked as though it had been made by a professional chef. Roz was thrilled with it anyway, and that to Susan was the main thing. After a wedding breakfast of meat paste sandwiches, sausage rolls and Mrs Delaney’s rock cakes, the bride and groom set off for their one night honeymoon in a Southampton hotel. Susan was left in charge of Jennifer, who was exhausted by six o’clock and ready for bed. After reading her a fairy story, Susan tucked her in and went downstairs to make supper for Bob and Dave, who had been invited to stay for the night rather than taking the last train back to London.
When the pub closed and Bob retired to bed, Susan and Dave sat in the kitchen chatting to each other over mugs of cocoa. They compared the brief communications they had received from Tony in the prison camp somewhere in Germany. There were only a few of them and each one was highly censored, but seeing his handwriting and holding a flimsy piece of paper that he had once held, made him seem closer. Their shared love for him had made a strong bond between them, and they had at last achieved an easy-going relationship that boded well for the future. Next morning Dave left early, walking to the station in order to catch the first train to London.
Susan stood on the doorstep waving until he was out of sight. She was genuinely sad to see him go. He was the only person who could understand how deeply she loved his son. She had been afraid that she might forget Tony, but the passing of time had only deepened her feelings for him. Some women separated from their fiancé’s or husbands took solace in the arms of another man, especially when they were exposed to the undoubted charms of the American soldiers and airmen who were stationed locally. Susan might feel her heart flutter appreciatively when she went to the pictures on her night off to see a film starring Alan Ladd or Errol Flynn, but she knew that Tony was the love of her life. He might not be handsome or dashing like the actors on the silver screen, but he was good-looking in an understated way; he was kind and thoroughly decent. He was the sort of man she could trust. He would love her no matter what. He would never leave her. That was the most important thing. He had suffered loss at an early age, and he knew what it was like to grow up without a mother. They needed each other. She would wait for him forever, if necessary.