“Hi, Margo, it’s Eden,” I said. I’d tried to quiet my nerves with a short yoga session and some deep breathing prior to placing the call, but to no avail. I still felt ready to hurl at any minute. That could be the baby, but maybe it was too early for that.
“Yes, Eden. What can I do for you?” Her voice was all business. Margo had no time for chitchat, she was a no-nonsense kind of woman, which was probably why she ran the best cheerleading team in the country.
"Well, remember when you guys were asking me if maybe I was gaining some weight yesterday?"
"Yes." Her voice was thick with impatience, so I knew I’d better move it along, but it felt weird to be telling Margo about my pregnancy before anyone else. Whenever I'd envisioned this moment I pictured myself telling the father in some sort of romantic way, possibly wrapping up the pee stick with the + on it. But wait, maybe that was kinda gross.
I gulped. "Well, you and Andrea were right. I'm pregnant."
On the other end of the phone Margo sighed. "Now that is unfortunate. I mean for the team, for your cheering career, but hopefully it's a blessing and all that for you personally. I'll talk to Andrea, but my guess is that this weekend will be your last game in a Texas Scorpions cheerleader uniform. It's too late now for us to find somebody to replace you for Sunday, but we have two weeks before the next game to work out how to replace you. I'll talk to Andrea. We will discuss it tomorrow at practice. You will be at practice, won’t you?"
"Yes, ma'am." I felt like I just been caught smoking in the bathroom at school. Where did she get off trying to shame me about this? And aren't they supposed to let you keep working even if you were pregnant? Isn’t there some law against discrimination?
But even as I was thinking it, I was realizing that if it your job was to look fit and dance at max energy with your belly hanging out, being pregnant was going to be at odds with your job description. And I certainly wasn't going to be the one to fight for my right to jiggle my baby out there in front of hundreds of fans. In fact, the thought of it was laughable.
Fortunately, I already had a day job with my medical company, and even that wasn't a terribly taxing job. But now that I would have more time on my hands it would allow me to read more medical journals and stay more on top of the latest developments in the field, which could possibly lead to future opportunities.
When I went to practice the next day I told Margo and Andrea that I wasn’t ready to tell people about the pregnancy quite yet and they agreed to tell the girls I was leaving for “personal reasons.”
A part of me wanted to call Nick and tell him right away. I wanted to tell my mother and him to come to the game on Sunday because it was going to be my last game. But Nick was on the road and I wasn’t ready to tell him about the baby just yet. And my mother was busy on her farm. It was going to take more courage than I had right now to tell her about this baby, considering the way she felt about the Barnes family.
So I went to the game and cheered my heart out without anyone but me and Margo and Andrea knowing it was going to be my last game. I did notice that I was more tired than usual when we were finished, but as I closed my locker at the stadium for the last time, I stared up at the larger-than-life-size photo of me in my uniform that hung above it, tears welled up in my eyes and I felt a mixture of pride that I’d accomplished the goal of becoming a Texas Scorpions cheerleader and regret that it had to end so abruptly.
It was only a couple of months ago that I was looking forward to going to St. Bart’s for a calendar shoot with the team, and now I was saying a permanent goodbye. I touched my palm to my stomach. It seemed weird there was something growing in there. It didn’t seem possible, but I had to believe it was true. My first doctor’s visit was scheduled in two weeks. I’d wait until a doctor confirmed the pregnancy and I heard a heartbeat before I shared the news with anyone else.
It seemed like this baby was costing me so many things I loved. If it wasn’t for this unwanted, no—unplanned pregnancy, I might have had longer for my carefree fling with Nick. I would have been a cheerleader for several more years. But now I had to be responsible, make decisions like a grownup, and I wasn’t going to continue disrupting my life until I was absolutely sure, that I’d seen the little interloper with my own eyes.
As the door to the locker room closed behind me for the last time and I walked down the ramp on my way to the parking lot, Andrea caught up with me and said, “I realize this is a delicate matter, but I know you’re not married.” She made a sympathetic face. “If you decide not to have this baby…you might be able to come back before the end of the season.”
“No, thanks. I am keeping it.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Nick
"Darling…”
I woke up to the sound of Lucinda’s voice. What the hell time was it anyway? And why was my mother calling me before the sun was up on the east coast? Normally I woke up hours before her, and she was on the west coast. There must be some kind of emergency. I rubbed my eyes and propped up on an elbow.
"Mom, what’s the matter? Why are you calling so early?" The numbers on my phone said five a.m. My alarm would actually go off in about forty-five minutes, but it was bizarre her calling me now.
"Nick, I need you to wake up, this is important."
Grumbling, I sat up, planting my feet on the floor, holding up my head with my hand. “What is it? Is everyone okay—Dynassy, Ivy, Leo—are they all right?”
“Of course, they’re fine.”
“Then what couldn't wait until a decent hour?"
"I didn't want you to see it on television first."
Suddenly I was wide awake. What sort of scandal had occurred in our family now? What new rumors had Dynassy and the twins splashed all over the tabloids? Whenever that happened Lucinda circled the wagons and went into spin doctor and damage control mode.
"What is it?"
"You've been traded."
The words sank in like a dagger to my heart. Traded? What the fuck? I had only just been traded at the beginning of last season. I had been at the Athletics for just over a year. Why in the world would I be traded? We were making a run for the championship. Froggy, Legion, and I – we were the best trio in the league. How could they break us up by trading me?
"You’re fucking kidding.”
"Yes, honey, I'm sorry. I know it's very disruptive at this time in the season, but the Fever are going to be paying you more. And you’ll be closer to home in Fresno.”
I wanted to scream. The Athletics, the team with the best record in the league, had traded me to the worst team in the league. The Fresno Fever was an expansion team, only about three years old and they sucked ass.
My blood ran cold. I had been planning to interview other agents, move out from under Lucinda’s thumb, but apparently I’d waited too long. She had basically negotiated all this without even asking my opinion. I'm sure they would require some signatures from me, but she was the pulling the puppet strings in this show and I was merely a pawn.
What a controlling bitch. I wondered if this had anything to do with me and Eden. That might just be me being paranoid, but my mother was always trying to control her children's lives, and I wouldn't put it past her to try to get me on the other side of the country from a girl she didn’t like.
"Mom, don't you think you should have fucking talked to me first? What if I don't want to be traded?"
"I'm sorry, honey. I don't think you have much of a choice in the matter. Froggy Jones made a play and threatened all sorts of things if you weren’t traded away. As you know, he's their franchise player, so they’re not going to pick you over him."
"What about winning? Why wouldn't they choose winning?"
"You know how this goes. General managers don't always make the best decisions. A lot of times what they do makes no sense to anyone. They did mention something about a slump…”
I’d had a few off games recently, but nothing so dire as to be called a slump. That was bullshit, and she knew it
.
“So, this is a done deal?”
“It’s a done deal.”
“Am I going home on the team plane today?”
“I thought that might be awkward so I chartered you one. It leaves at noon.”
“How long do I have before I have to report?”
“A couple of days to get home and get things in order. I’ll talk with Dwayne, and we’ll get you all moved. Do you want me to find you a house in Fresno?”
Good God, it was like I was five years old. “No, Mom. I don’t need you to run my fucking life. I can handle it.”
“All right. I was just trying to help.”
“I’ll talk to you later.” I hung up before I said something I might regret later.
Eden. I needed to tell her. It sucked so bad that I was going to be relocating to fucking Fresno. What the hell was in Fresno? Nothing I wanted. Nothing I needed.
Except now a job.
I hadn’t wanted to be traded from LA to the Austin Athletics last year, but this time it was so much worse. This time I’d be leaving behind a girl who was really starting to mean something to me, and a team I could have won it all with. A sense of loss engulfed me, threatened to swallow me up.
Four a.m. central time. It was too early to call Eden.
I dreaded telling her anyway. Maybe I’d take her out to dinner and break the news to her.
I lay back down and typed “Fresno” into the search box on my phone.
Scrolling through numerous tourist-based sites, I went to the Fever’s website. Their uniforms were cool. There was that…
But there wouldn’t be any playoff games.
Maybe a shorter season would be nice.
Who the fuck was I kidding? I was a competitor. I wanted to play until the last game possible.
Checking out the roster, I could see I would be their star, at least for the remainder of the year. Lucinda was right about one thing—Fresno would be rolling out the streets for me, giving me the key to the city. If things went well, they’d try to sign me to a longer deal at the end of the year when I’d be a free agent. But why the hell would I sign with them? No. I’d have to smile and act the part for the rest of the year, but after this contract was done, I’d be on my way.
I balled my fists and considered punching the wall. I stopped myself because a broken hand could impact everything—including my ability to earn any money at all.
My thoughts turned back to Eden. Damn, just when things were getting so good between us. I loved coming home and having her there, even if I just ran to the store to pick up some milk. I’d never had a woman to come home to like that before, and I fucking loved it.
Defiantly, I told myself we could still make it work. Long distance was a bitch, but if I was honest with myself, I loved Eden and I thought she loved me. I’d loved her my whole life, but now that love was deepening and growing into something grown up. Something that could finally endure. We’d find a way. I’d fly her to wherever I was playing as often as she could escape her job.
I fell back asleep and almost missed my flight.
After I boarded the plane and we sat on the tarmac waiting to take off, I texted Eden and invited her to dinner. I told her I had something to tell her. She texted back and asked if she should meet me, but I told her I would pick her up. I was a little surprised she didn't ask more questions. I’d expected her to try and get out of me what I wanted to talk with her about.
Maybe I shouldn't have. I was used to more demanding women, like my mother and sisters. Eden was more easygoing and tolerant than the controlling females I was used to. Perhaps that was what I liked about her. Whatever it was there was a pit in my stomach every time I thought about leaving her behind in Austin.
Granted, our relationship was in that deliriously happy honeymoon phase where everything she did seemed like the most amazing thing ever. There wasn't another woman alive who could tempt me. Women were all around me every day, and I didn’t notice them.
I'd heard this stage referred to as infatuation, but something told me that my feelings for Eden ran deeper than that. Our shared history was part of it, the fact that she and I had been close long before we discovered sexual attraction.
Eden was simply a beautiful person both inside and out. I loved her positive energy, and the optimistic way she looked at the world. It was so refreshing, and I was drawn to her passion for life. Not to mention that when she got to shaking those pom-poms my cock never failed to pay attention.
But as good as things were with Eden, I couldn't see asking her to go to Fresno with me. Maybe for a weekend or something, but our relationship had not gotten to the stage where I’d feel good about asking her to pick up her entire life and follow me around. She had a company to run, her cheerleading, a real life in Austin.
And my life wasn't my own. I was just a commodity being passed around like a joint at a Grateful Dead concert. I had no control over the situation, which was one of the things that had me so pissed off. I had had every intention of switching agents. I was talking to one of the Scorpions players I was friendly with about him setting up a meeting with his agent just last week. If I had any inkling that things weren’t going to work out for me in Austin, I would have made it a bigger priority, but now for some reason Lucinda had fucked me over. Why the hell did I have to be born with that woman as my mother?
I entered a note into my phone to give Legion’s agent a call. Fat lot of good it would do me now though.
The flight was exhausting, or maybe it was the news of this trade that hung around my neck like an ox’s yoke.
I was exhausted by the time I got home, showered, dressed, and made it to Eden’s.
When she opened the door, she gave me a big hug and kissed me on the cheek. Something was off. She seemed subdued—not quite mad at me, but when we got into the car, I turned and looked at her. She stared out the window.
"Hey,” I said and she refused to look at me.
"What is it? Did you already hear?"
She looked over at me reluctantly. "About the trade? Yeah." I could see the pain and regret I felt mirrored in her eyes.
Fuck. This was going to suck.
"I'm sorry, Eden. I'm so sorry."
She reached over and touched the back of my neck. With a sad smile she said, "It's not your fault. Everything will be fine. You'll see."
We drove to the restaurant wrapped in a silent cocoon full of what-might-have-beens and bittersweet thoughts.
As we pulled up to Delmonico’s I turned to her. "I made a reservation here. I hope that's okay." We had had numerous candlelight dinners there. It was my favorite steakhouse, and whenever I showed up the owner made sure we had a private table in the back.
"It's fine," she said and we walked into the restaurant, and the hostess led us to the back. It was the kind of restaurant my sisters and brother and I had always called “a cold, dark restaurant" when we were kids. The kind grownups loved, but we kids hated. They were always wanting you to put your napkin in your lap and sit still. We preferred McDonald's fast food hamburger joints back then, but now that I was older, I understood the appeal of fine dining.
The maître d' brought us a bottle of his finest wine, and after we had a few sips I asked Eden, "How did you hear?"
"It was all over the sports news channels."
“Those motherfuckers. They probably knew about it before I did,” I said. It fucking sucked to be a part of the twenty-four-hour news cycle and be out of the loop on your own story. I wondered if my mother had planted the story, or if they had found out through the Athletics’ or the Fever’s organizations.
"So what do you know about the Fever? Are you excited?"
Everything I knew about the Fever was the exact opposite of exciting. "Not much. They're a fairly new team without much talent. I'm not really sure what the plan is. It sounds like I'm supposed to be their next star player."
"That's good, isn't it?"
"I guess it's a lot better than being there shittiest player, bu
t I want a championship and what Froggy and Legion and I have here—well, I thought that's where we were going. I thought that's what I was supposed to be doing, helping them win a championship."
"But it seems like Froggy didn't want you here, like he was threatened by you. Do you think he had anything to do with you getting traded?"
"That’s Lucinda’s take on it. Management wants to see him happy. He has the biggest contract here, and he might have some pull with the general manager, I don't know. But what they're getting for me just doesn't make sense. Some first-round draft picks, some lower-rung players."
"But isn't it like five players or something?"
"Yeah, but that's about the money more than it is about the players. Some of those guys will be traded before they even get off the plane here. It's all a big fucking mess is what it is." I didn't tell her that I thought my mother played a huge role in that. She probably wanted me back in California where she could keep better tabs on me, or send her damn camera crews down to fucking film me. It always came back to Lucinda.
Eden clasped my hand across the table. “I'm going to miss you," she said.
“Yeah, me too." It was the understatement of my entire career.
That night when we made love Eden cried in my arms. She was really taking it hard, and it made me wish, for a few minutes, that I was a regular guy with a regular job and I could stay here with her.
It occurred to me that kind of thinking about a woman was dangerous. I might not have wanted to go to Fresno, but I was living the dream, getting paid millions to play a game I loved.
There would be time for love when I retired. For now, basketball had to be my focus.
The next day Eden helped me pack, but that night she left to go to an all-girl party for some of the Scorpions’ cheerleaders.
I wanted to press her, ask her to meet me after it was over, but my pride wouldn’t let me.
What kind of pussy would I look like if I couldn’t stand to be without her for one night? Forget that it would be the last night before I left, and I didn’t know when I would see her again.
The Barnes Family Romances: (Books 1-3) Page 8