by K. S. Adkins
“I’m right here,” she growls. “I can hear you and how many fucking times do I have to tell you, my cooch is the same size as yours, asshole?”
“Angel” Rogan says, waiting by the door and not moving a muscle but also wearing a smirk. “Don’t piss her off. It’s a fact, women in labor are extremely---”
“My hand!” she screams. “Let go you, crazy bitch, you’re breaking my shit!”
“Strong,” he finishes, laughing. Just then Jules yells for her. “Lina! You got a head poking out?”
“Yep!” she yells back. “You?”
“Affirmative,” she yells.
“It’s called crowning!” Macy yells from across the hall. “And it fucking hurts!”
“Venessa, get in there and give me an update,” Lina orders her, grabbing my hand for support.
Venessa literally loses all the color in her face and fights back another gag before answering. “Fuck you, you pint sized baby maker! I am not and listen close, putting my head near your giant bloody pussy! That’s the fucking truth!”
“You’re exaggerating!” she argues.
“Bullshit!” she argues back. “You are the biggest tiny pregnant person ever. The kid is bigger than you and if you think your shit isn’t all wacked out right now, you are fucking crazier than I thought you were!”
“Quit being a bitch and get in there before I get off this table and sit on you! I’ll crush you, Kharma. You don’t want to test me right now. I could pull this off, I know I could!”
“Oh you want to see this shit?” she asks. “You sure about that? As much as I want to see you waddle over and crush me, I’m going to do you a solid because you’re my girl.”
Looking at Rogan for help, he shrugs not having a fucking clue, but then in seconds we were all too speechless to stop her. Taking a stool, she reaches high, bringing a satellite size mirror down and adjusts it just above Lina’s legs. My wife uses my arms to sit up and in unison we both look up.
For a solid minute no one made a sound. I know I couldn’t. We discussed and both agreed I would cut the cord and that was it, at least the first time around. But I cannot unsee what I just saw. Lina though, she just stares at the mirror with wide eyes until she turns to look up at me.
“What in the holy fuck of all fucks did you do to me?” Staying silent I just look from the mirror to her and back again. “And you!” she says, pinning Venessa with a look. “I will get you for this. Sleep with one eye open, you sneaky whore. Your music collection is in jeopardy. Mark my mother fucking words.”
“Love you, Lina,” she says, smiling at her handiwork. “Oh and get the extra stitch. I hear it helps.”
“Extra what?” she screams. “Coach, what extra stitch? What in the hell do they stitch? You read the book, don’t hold out on me, I can take it!”
Clearing my throat and feeling the heat creep into my cheeks, I try being quiet, but there’s too much activity to use a low voice. “Uh, it’s kind of a running joke that a women’s uh…”
“Pussy? Cooch, love oven, choca, sperm bottle, taco, fuck hole, slice of heaven. Pick one, dammit! Don’t go shy on me! This is some next level shit!”
“Ok then the, love oven gets a bit uh… stretched during child birth so men often suggest to the doctor to add an extra stitch to you know, tighten things up.”
“Then put me down for two! Better safe than sloppy, right? I’m insured and I only want the best for my love oven.”
Before I can offer a rebuttal, which for obvious reasons, I didn’t have, the doctor comes in and tells us it’s time. Venessa and Rogan each take turns filming each of the girls delivering, but an hour later with one final scream and a push, Lina was first to deliver the most beautiful daughter any father could ask for. After cutting the cord, I let the staff clean her up while I patiently wait next to Lina to meet her together.
When we hear her cry, Lina starts to panic holding her arms out. “It’s okay,” I assure her. “The baby book says it’s good that she cries. It shows she has strong lungs.”
Walking over, the nurse hands me a swaddled bundle and inside of it, is our daughter. Taking her into the safety of my chest, I lean her down to her mother who looks at her, then up at me.
“Vera,” she whispers.
“Vera,” I whisper back while the tears fall freely. We named her after my mother, who upon research from Lina, found out Vera, in fact, stood for truth and now, like my mother, so would our daughter. My mother would have been a wonderful grandmother, but I know she’s up there with my father looking down and smiling on us.
Minutes later, Macy delivered a son. Jonas Michael Rafe Jr, and Jules delivered a son, Sebastian Maxwell Allen. Who knew Bishop’s first name was Sebastian? Through it all, my Lina was strong and determined. The second she met Vera and the little miracle stopped crying, I physically saw the last wall she had crumble.
Lina was finally whole for the first time ever because, she knew the truth.
Love conquers all because, love is the truth.
My little truth seeker taught me that.
“The worst part about being lied to was knowing you weren’t worth the truth.”
I used to believe this. Down to my soul, I believed it. But I realized that sometimes people will lie to protect you. They need to lie to protect you and sometimes you need to let them. Turns out, Anthony lied to me and months ago, I would have shot him for it. Today though, I thanked him for it.
He lied to me for a good reason. Who would have thought that you could lie for a good reason? Not me, that’s for sure, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s the truth. Yeah, holy shit, right?
Watching him feed Vera brings me a sense of peace. He is such an amazing father. He dotes on me and I have to steal our daughter if I want any time with her. The girls have a similar complaint, but we all do it smiling. Venessa and Rogan are the world’s greatest aunt and uncle. You’ve never seen a sight like Rogan Black holding three tiny babies. No lie, if you want your kid to stop screaming, hand them over to Rogan. Boom, no more screaming.
Neither of them want children of their own and are happy to spoil the ever loving shit oops, I mean stuff, out of ours. The two love birds also snuck away and married up north and honeymooned at their cottage. We weren’t mad. We were thrilled. Those two always did have their own way of doing things. Today our group is inseparable and instead of separating myself, I’m finally at a place where, not only do I engage, but I genuinely enjoy it. I’m also the first to suggest getting together, which has become a competition. No one in our fucked up family are dishonest and if they do lie, it’s insignificant at best. After what Julian had done, and the burning of his house with everyone inside of it, we decided the past was the past and never spoke of it again.
The DPD didn’t have the resources to investigate the fire and before the kids were born Rogan and Rafe left the department. The guys, along with Anthony, went into business with Max. Lush is now not only thriving but it’s a safe place to be. If you can believe this, Thursday nights Venessa hosts karaoke. If you’re ever in town, watching her tell people they suck is a party no one wants to miss. As for me, I enjoy spoiling the shit, I mean stuff, out of Vera. I’m also taking online courses to get my realtor’s license to flip houses with Kelly. My goal is to flip and rent to as many as possible to help families get back on their feet. With Anthony’s support, it’s a goal I know I can reach.
The only dark cloud was the captain. Two weeks ago, on a rainy Sunday, we found out about his passing.
Due to complications from a stint that was put in, he suffered a major heart attack and died in his sleep. Even though we all attended his funeral, the last visit I had with him gave me the peace I hadn’t realized I needed. He apologized to me for using me and admitted his fear over ruled his sense. I listened to his amazing story and his apology for hours. In the end, good decisions or bad, he did what he did to keep his girls safe. The weight he carried in regards to his treatment of me was a heavy load. I gave him the opport
unity to be forgiven and found that I did, in fact, forgive him fully. The captain, in his own way, loved me very much. He was the only father figure I had growing up, so when he looked me in the eyes and told me he loved me, it meant the world.
Because he was telling me the truth.
Each of us had our time to speak with him, but whatever was said to the others, I never asked. We all have our memories of him and I chose to believe at heart, he was a good man. A good man that lost his way. The captain was put in a horrible position and has carried that fear and guilt for many years. For all of his mistakes, had he not done what he did for us, we might not be here today.
He protected us the best way he knew how. If he could move on with a clear conscience, I wanted that for him. Turns out that all these years he had an ally in Anthony. The clever man knew he needed his help, so he kept his distance making sure Anthony along with Rogan, Rafe and Max were protected too. Over the years Anthony and the captain had been working together in some capacity. It all started when the cap approached him when he saw that he was cleaning up Venessa’s messes. He knew Anthony would do what it took to keep her safe and together they would work toward getting justice. The cap loved Venessa something fierce, so even when she left his home, he pretended he didn’t know where she was, but he always knew.
As the war escalated, he kept the captain in the loop and prepared for the fall out. Both had kept it from me by choice and both claimed to have their reasons. They were to keep me safe and allow me to do what I do, without the knowledge that the captain wasn’t to blame fully. Because had I known that the events wouldn’t have unfolded as they should.
Yes, they lied to me, but I understand why.
If not for the captain and Anthony’s silent partnership, the eight of us wouldn’t be together at all.
For that alone, I let the lie go.
For Anthony Gallo, I’d do anything because he was my everything.
“If you get saddled with this gift of mine, I’ll help you through it, I promise. I won’t let it over take you. There is a balance. You just have to find it. Your Pops helped me find mine and we won’t let you float away from us.”
It was obvious Vera was enjoying her mom’s attention and had no desire to go back to sleep. Lina didn’t mind a bit. She sprawled her across her legs to get a better look at her and her breath caught.
“You have my eyes,” she whispered, touching her face. “You look just like your pops, but you got those peepers from me. We’ll make sure those eyes see good things.” Then, lost in her own world, she whispered to herself, “Wow, I can see what he sees now. This baby shit, I mean stuff, is a lot to take in. You got the best of both of us. As far as the parental lottery goes, you could do worse.”
Since Vera’s birth, our lives have been incredibly full. I said Lina was a natural and she was. Turns out I was too. Watching my girls together is what I’ve waited my entire life for. We don’t discuss Julian or what happened to her behind closed doors. If she wanted to tell me, she would. I have my suspicions, but until she’s ready or if she’s never ready, that’s okay too. Like that day when she was singing to me assuming I couldn’t hear, she was right. It was survival of the fittest and we survived.
Before the captain passed, the three of us paid him a visit. She sat next to him holding his hand, giving him the courage to tell the truth. While I held Vera she listened to his miraculous story and I’ll admit, there was a lot even I didn’t know.
Ten years ago, there was a detective who let fear rule his life. To spare his own family, he made a deal with Julian to look the other way in exchange for not only his families lives, but that of Venessa and me. The problem was, as the girls got older, each would play a part in solving the mystery. The captain didn’t want them involved but quickly realized there was no way around it either. He did what he could to help the cause without drawing attention to himself, but it wasn’t enough. When I told him of my plan to use her ability to tip the scales he was very vocal about leaving her none the wiser. Agreeing to my plan, he backed my efforts as long as I promised to pull her out if it was too much for her. When it became personal for me and wanted to pull her it was the captain who reminded me of who she was and what she could do.
The runt of the litter whose quest to find the truth led her back to the captain’s sins as well as Julian himself. Although the captain made a deal with Julian, he didn’t have the evidence he needed for a conviction without risking his own family in the process. The fact was, Julian was smart enough to find cops who would do his killing for him. He also found Hank, using his own greed against him, which brought Lina into the picture when Jules was in danger. Despite it all, the captain had done his best to keep his girls’ safe. He couldn’t change the past, but he wanted to fix the future. Granted, he went about it all wrong, but Lina and I both agreed, his heart was in the right place.
The years of wrong doing had caught up with him. The stress was too much, his heart couldn’t take it. Especially when he knew she was close to finally putting this to rest. He needed her to, and that’s where I came in. Everything he’d done was to put Lina in place to end this when the time was right. Turns out the captain’s faith in the girls, most especially Lina,; was absolute. He was very remorseful in the way he’d treated her and begged for her forgiveness. Lina being Lina, gave it without fuss.
I expected one reaction from her, but got another when she found out my own part. I knew the day would come that she would see me for who I really was. “You knew,” she says. “All along, you knew.”
“I knew some things, but not all,” I explain. “The cap could only do so much without being noticed. I could only do so much without being noticed. It was the same with the shutting down Shadow Squad. But you Lina, you, figured it out. You solved the mystery just like we knew you would. You never quit, even when I wanted nothing more.”
“If you had told me---”
“We needed you to consider every angle,” I assure her. “The captain knew he’d be held accountable. Lina, I see you feel guilty, but don’t. He knew you’d find out eventually. I knew you’d find out eventually too and I worried you’d hate me for it.”
“Of course I’d find out, it’s what I do!” she says in a loud whisper so not to wake Vera. “Hate you? I could never hate you, Anthony,” she whispers then looks at the captain. “Is all that true, Cap?”
“Yes,” he says, squeezing her hand. “Making that deal was the biggest regret of my life. Look at what my cowardice caused. I tried to fixing it on my own, but I couldn’t do it. I wasn’t strong enough, Lina and I’m sorry that I needed you to fix it.”
“You hurt me, Cap,” she says softly. “Even though I felt the lies, they still hurt.”
“I never meant a word of it, Lina,” he says quietly. “But I needed you focused. Tony had faith in you and so did I. Even when he wanted to pull you out, I reminded him of who you are and what you’re made of. I saw it with my own eyes and I knew that you would finish this, Lina. The truth is who you are but, I used your gift against you for personal gain and I put you in further danger to finish what I started. Could you ever forgive me?”
“Already have, Cap,” she says, hugging him tight and that was that.
Today my wife and daughter are accompanying me to my parent’s gravesite. While Vera will never know her grandparents, we vowed to tell her everything. When we started the remodel of the baby’s room my wife decided every wall was to be a tribute to the people who would love her. So that’s what we did. The walls are adorned with photos of my parents, our friends and ourselves. I watch her holding Vera as she kneels down next to me and as is her way, she kept things honest and simple.
“I haven’t met you, but I love you just the same. Thank you for raising the most perfect son and father. I’m very proud of him and I know you are too. This is your granddaughter, Vera. Isn’t she perfect?”
“You’re both perfect,” I whisper. “They would have loved you both so much, Lina.”
“A
nthony,” she says, reaching back with her hand to take mine. “They already do, I can feel it.”
She was right. Once I was able to finally let the revenge go, I could feel my parent’s presence with me at all times. It was no surprise my wife could too. My wife felt everything.
Raising all of the kids together was a riot. Each of us joked about having more but, these kids spent literally every second together and three felt like a good number. These kids would be raised together as siblings would so we counted our blessings. With two wild and crazy boys you’d think Lina would coddle our daughter or threaten them for being rough with Vera. She didn’t. From the time Vera could walk, Lina taught her everything. She started small with fixing broken toys or planting flowers, but it transitioned into car maintenance, cooking, defending herself and helping her mom fix the homes she flips. My woman taught my daughter to be independent, but most importantly, she taught her to love herself.
Lina taught Vera all of the things her parents never taught her. Each and every day I let my ladies know they were loved and cherished and they both flourished under the attention.
I kept my vows to my parents. Every single one. Especially the one where my wife would never have to wonder if I loved her. She couldn’t forget if I reminded her every five minutes.
I fell for possibly the only woman in the world who knows when you’re lying. She fell for a man who lied to everyone to get what he wanted, including her. Even if I dodged the truth for the right reasons, that was my free pass. I’ve never asked for another either, because I didn’t need one.
In the end, when we least expected it, we both found what needed.
We found the truth in each other.
Sixteen years and four months later…
I’m super nervous.
I have a date. My first, ever. He’s coming here to meet my parents. My crazy, overprotective, awesomely in love parents. It wasn’t a request, but an order. They said if a boy wants respect he needs to earn it, which meant coming into the lion’s den to get me. I don’t worry about Pop so much as I do my Mom. I’ve heard stories about her, but it’s hard to believe my mom was ever anything but the sweet and sometimes mushy woman she is now. I mean, yeah, I catch her in the garage sneaking a cigarette, wearing gardening gloves and goggles, but if I called her out on it, she’d come clean. My mom doesn’t lie. She’s taught me about everything and most recently, a lot about boys. If I have a question, she has an answer, so it’s no surprise she has a list of questions for my date and I had to promise not to forewarn him. I kept my promise. That’s big in my house. The only thing bigger, is being honest. My mom is a powerhouse and my hero. My Pop though, his life lessons are real. He isn’t just talking the talk either. If you could see how much he loves my mom and me, you’d get it. She and Pop never go a day without telling me they love me and they’ve never babied me, being the only girl raised with two rowdy boy cousins who were more like my brothers.