The ultimatum drops like a lead weight. “You’re going to break up with me because I won’t sleep with you?”
“Yes. Because I’m tired of waiting. It isn’t fair. I could’ve gotten with a hundred chicks in the time I’ve been with you.” The curtains cast a dark shadow on Gabe’s face, in the shape of a smirk.
“I’m not just a ‘chick’!” Aude swallows raw bile. And if you lose him because you trust him? Kate’s words come unbidden to her mind. “What were you doing yesterday?”
Gabe leans back. “Nothing. I went to practice and then worked on homework. Why?”
Aude hesitates. She knows if she throws it in his face, there might not be any going back. “Kate saw you with Amanda.”
“What? No, I was practicing.” The hostile expression drops from his face. “I don’t even like Amanda. Why would I hang out with her?”
“Kate said you were kissing. So, what… Is she like one of your hundred chicks or something?”
Gabe swings his head from side to side. “Kate’s lying. She must be mad at you still. I promise, I’ve never kissed anyone other than you.”
“Kate wouldn’t lie about that.” Someone knocks on the door, but Aude doesn’t bother answering. She just slumps against the wood frame. “I want to believe you, but I trust Kate. She had no reason to lie.”
“Well—uh—“ Gabe’s head drops. “Fine. I cheated on you, Aude.” His voice thickens. “I didn’t mean to, but it was just so—unintentional. Amanda saw me hit that kid who called my sister fat and ugly. I guess I just snapped. When someone does something like that to your sister—what was I supposed to do? I only meant to threaten him, make him sorry for being such an ass, but he wouldn’t apologize, and it made me so angry.”
Gabe takes a steadying breath. “At first, I didn’t think anyone saw. I walked to one of those emergency exit staircases, and I cried like a fucking baby. And Amanda heard, and she came up to me and asked if I was alright. She was so nice and understanding.” He looks up at Aude. “Then later, we talked again. She took me to her house, and told me I was in the right and anyone else would’ve done the same thing. She promised to keep it a secret. Aude, I was so low, I didn’t even know what I was doing. It just sort of happened—“
“What?” Aude asks, her voice barely above a whisper. “What happened?” There’s another knock on the door.
“We had sex. It wasn’t my fault. I tried to say no, but she made me.”
“She made you.” Aude’s hands tremble as she processes the information.
“Yeah, she made me. I thought of you the whole time, though.”
Surprisingly, that nugget of information does nothing to lighten Aude’s mood. She sniffles. “And after all that, you weren’t going to tell me. You were just gonna—“
“Room service,” a man announces from the other side of the door. “Please let me in.”
“We aren’t hungry!” Aude shouts. “Just leave it on the floor or something.” She turns her attention back to Gabe. “Take me home.”
“Yeah, okay.” He stands up from the bed, and tries to help Aude up.
Aude can barely find the energy to glare at him. “Don’t touch me,” she spits, hot tears running down both cheeks. “Don’t you ever touch me again.”
Chapter Twenty-five
Maddie closes her eyes. “Couldn’t you just ask Aude out or something? You know, like a normal guy?”
Devon keeps walking down the dirt trail. “No. No, she wouldn’t take me. And besides, she has a boyfriend.”
“Then why don’t you focus on him?”
Devon’s smirk widens. “Madison, I have been focusing on him. With every move I’ve made so far.”
“But I thought the video thing was about getting her in trouble with her parents?”
“Partly. Ancillary effects, Madison. It’s like chess. Do you know the difference between beginner, intermediate, and master players?”
Maddie can feel Devon’s emotionless eyes on her. She shakes her head.
“A beginner makes moves almost without thinking, blundering around the board with little purpose. But a more skilled player will have a purpose to every move. He’ll see the board and the objective, and pursue the fastest line to victory.” He sits down on a wooden bench. “But a master, a master will look for moves that accomplish multiple goals at the same time. He pursues more paths than their opponent can stop, and that’s how he wins.”
“Uh, okay?”
“It’s okay if you don’t understand. All you need to get is that everything we’re doing has multiple purposes. Yes, I’m trying to break up Aude and Gabe, but she won’t take me just because she doesn’t have a boyfriend. I need to hit her self-esteem so that she’ll even consider going out with me.”
Maddie closes her eyes, wondering why she ever agreed to help this demon. Maybe Jonah was right—she should just tell Aude about the whole thing and face the consequences. “She’ll hate you for doing this to her, you know.”
Devon chuckles. “She doesn’t know most of what I’ve done. You don’t even know. I’m clever, Madison. Exceedingly clever. And I’ll have what I want.” He pauses while a jogger runs by. “Isn’t this such a fun way to spend second hour?”
“Yeah,” Maddie lies, pretending that she wouldn’t rather be doing anything else, instead of plotting with Satan.
“Did you see Audrey before school?” He waits for Maddie to nod. “Did she seem upset?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Good. With any luck, she’s already broken up with Gabe.”
Maddie’s eyes widen. “What did you do?”
Devon’s smirk returns. “Oh, nothing. I just helped a friend get a little revenge. You really did a number on Amanda, by the way. She was literally screaming about what a bitch you were.”
The memory of blackmailing Amanda makes Maddie sick. “I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I just wanted to be good enough.”
“Yeah. I get that. And, I respect that. You were assertive; you saw what you wanted and took it.”
Maddie doesn’t want his respect. She finds a patch of grass in the shade and takes a seat. The carpet of green crunches under her weight. “No more,” she says.
“Huh?” Devon turns on the bench. “No more what?”
“I won’t be your spy anymore. You can tell the principal, or tell my friends, or whatever. But I’m done. This—this past month—has made me feel worse about myself than any stupid dance team tryout or vice presidency.”
Devon shrugs. “You should’ve thought of that before you agreed to help me. If this is because I haven’t put you in contact with your mom again, I can do that…“
Maddie nearly seizes on the offer. But Jonah was right, she has to own up to her decisions. “This isn’t about my mother. This is about—“ she takes a deep breath “—this is about knowing that I’m good enough, and not needing anyone else to confirm it. I’ve made up my mind; I’m going to tell Aude.”
His nostrils flare. “Madison, you know I can’t let you do that. You can’t walk away, and you can’t blow the lid on my plan.”
“Really? How are you gonna stop me?”
Devon stands up, walks over to where Maddie’s sitting. “I told you, I’m going to get Aude. You’ve seen what I do to the girl I love. What do you think I’ll do to you, now that you’re threatening to ruin my chances with her?” He searches the grass and picks up a ladybug, pinching it between his thumb and forefinger. His eyes never leave Maddie’s as he squeezes a little more, a little more. Then, pop. The bug turns to paste in his hands.
Maddie gulps. “I’m not afraid of you.” Her trembling hand betrays the veracity of the statement.
Devon falls into a crouch. “You are going to go back to class and pretend nothing happened. It’s just a normal day. You’re going to go to lunch with Aude, and tell me everything she talks about. In other words, you’re going to stick to the fucking deal we made. I don’t get why that’s so hard to understand. Just stick to the deal, and all yo
ur dreams will come true. My little ladybug.”
Chapter Twenty-six
The first period bell hasn’t even rung when Mr. Silveris heads for the door, gesturing for his students to follow. He waves his arms wildly. “Come on, kiddos, let’s go on an adventure.”
“But, Mr. Silveris, the bell…“ one girl argues.
“Nonsense! There are no bells in the real world. We’re all here, and it’s morning. This is our time to seize the day. This is our time to win.”
Kate shares a giggle with Aude. She follows Aude out the door, where they wait for the rest of the class. Mr. Silveris only waits for a few seconds before parading down the stairs and out the doors. Instead of climbing the hill as he did at the start of the year, he takes a left.
Mr. Silveris leads the class to a path that Kate is pretty sure is off school grounds, past where the smokers hang out and across a small wooden bridge. He steps right into a field of waist-high grass, and heads into the middle.
Kate hesitates for a moment before following. Aude cracks a small smile. “Well, these jeans are old anyway.”
The class assembles around their teacher, who stands with his arms out and eyes closed while he waits. Finally, his eyes flick open. “Dante’s Inferno. Dante’s Inferno. A journey to the depths of hell. And whom does Dante place in the ninth and final circle?” He smiles. “Not rapists or murderers, or any of the number of criminals he discusses. No, the worst punishments are reserved for traitors.” He takes his fighting stance. “Fair?”
Aude is the first to speak. “No, it isn’t.”
Mr. Silveris nods in her direction. “Not fair, Aude says. Who agrees?” Kate raises her hand, but she and Aude are in a definite minority; except for Hannah, the rest of the class keep their hands down. “Ladies, it looks like you have your work cut out for you. Go on, make your argument, make us believers.” He takes a step to the side, gesturing to Aude, Hannah, and Kate.
Aude steps to the center of the circle. “Well, uh, here’s the way I see it. Betraying someone is a mistake, but most of the time the only real damage comes if there isn’t any forgiveness. Didn’t Jesus say ‘if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins?’ Doesn’t the Lord’s Prayer remind us to forgive other’s trespasses, so that they’ll forgive ours?”
A few boys roll their eyes, but Aude continues undisturbed. “Most betrayals are just an error in judgment. No one—except perhaps a few really horrible people—actively tries to hurt anyone else. Sometimes they put their own interests first, but who doesn’t?”
Mr. Silveris nods. His eyes dart to Kate, then Hannah. “Anything to add?” They both shake their heads. “Very good. Very good. May I pose a hypothetical? Say my friend, Ano Nimous—“ a few students laugh at the fake name “—say he betrayed me, by stealing my favorite coffee mug. If he isn’t sorry, then do you still maintain that there was no crime?”
“Uh…“ Aude frowns.
Kate jumps in before her friend can answer. “I think what she’s trying to say, is that how he feels about it doesn’t matter as much. What matters is your reaction.”
“Exactly!” Aude agrees. “If you really love him, he shouldn’t have to seek out your forgiveness for you to grant it.”
A boy pipes up from the back. “That’s just ridiculous. I mean, Mr. Silveris’ example is lame. Sorry. But what if your friend stabbed you in the back with a sword? You’re just gonna forgive him?”
Aude’s nose wrinkles. “Yes, I would.” The whole class erupts in protests; Mr. Silveris raises his arms to quiet them down.
He moves back to the center of the circle. “I think we can all agree that this is an interesting question. Aude certainly raises an… Idealistic philosophy. I admire it, honestly.” He bows to Aude. “There is power in forgiveness, and perhaps that power lies with the forgiver, and not the forgiven. Do you want to know my personal opinion?”
Mr. Silveris turns to face the rest of the students. “Mr. Alighieri’s Divine Comedy was written in a different time. It’s important to remember that. The time period that gave us this work was one in which loyalty—to family, to a lord, to the common ideals—was incredibly important. Without it, their society would have crumbled. Our current circumstances allow us a little more freedom; we can betray our friends, and the only consequence is that we might invoke their ire.” He continues talking for a while, lecturing and asking questions about revenge and forgiveness.
Kate’s legs are starting to itch when Mr. Silveris interrupts himself. “I was going to assign homework, but—it’s such a beautiful day…” He takes off, back toward the school. Instead of taking the bridge back across, he jogs down an incline to the stream and hops from rock to rock. On impulse, Kate follows him.
Soon, the entire class is forming a line to cross the stones. Kate watches one boy cross back over the bridge just to try it.
“Don’t just go the same way I did!” Mr. Silveris calls. “Find a new path across!”
A bell rings, and Kate starts to check her phone before remembering she left it in the classroom. “Mr. Silveris, do you mind if I go back to class?”
“Of course, kiddo. Good job today.” He holds his hand up for a high five.
After the excitement, the rest of the day seems dull. Kate slogs through the hours, until the last period’s finally over. In Student Council, Maddie relays instructions from Mrs. Hopkins, that the representatives are supposed to come up with a class cheer for the Homecoming assembly.
The ten junior class representatives gather in the hallway. Kate looks from Maddie to Aude, noticing how depressed they both look.
“Any ideas?” Maddie asks.
“Amanda would have had some, if she were here.” Kate follows the boy’s glare to Maddie.
“Well she isn’t,” Maddie replies. “So we’re going to have to figure this out without her. Ideas?” she looks pleadingly at Aude.
Aude shrugs. “Rah rah, go juniors?”
Hannah laughs. “Perfect! Well, we can all go home now.”
“Not quite...” Maddie sighs. “I dunno, does it really matter? I mean, we all know the assembly’s rigged anyway. I kinda have other stuff to worry about.”
“Okay, let’s just—everyone come up with a cheer, and we’ll decide tomorrow,” Aude suggests.
“Fine. That sounds like a good plan,” Maddie says. “See you all tomorrow.” The group disintegrates.
Aude touches Kate’s arm. “Hey, you wanna hang out at your house?”
“Yeah, sure.” Kate follows Aude to her car; they drive to her house and fall onto the living room couch.
“Why was Maddie so—did she seem upset to you?”
Kate shrugs. “I don’t know.”
Aude leans back and sighs. “It seems like everything’s falling apart. First the Gabe thing, and now everyone’s flipping out.”
“Not Hannah, though.”
“Not Hannah,” Aude agrees. “Or you. But Maddie, she’s been weird all day. You know she hasn’t shown up to Stat in like three days? And at lunch, it’s like she can barely look at me. What did I do to piss her off?”
Kate frowns. “I don’t know.” She stares at the blank TV for a few seconds. “What are you gonna do about Gabe?”
Aude snorts. “Not a frickin’ clue. I mean, on the one hand, there’s all that stuff about forgiveness. On the other—“
“Aude, he cheated on you. It’s a simple decision. Cut him loose.”
“Yeah, I know, but he did confess. And he said it was only like a mistake—“
“No. Just no.” Kate shakes her head. “I’m sorry, but as your friend I can’t let you talk yourself into forgiving him. Once a cheater, always a cheater. And from what you told me, he was trying to force you into sleeping with him. Seriously, how despicable does he have to get before you let him go?” Kate immediately regrets her words; Aude sniffles and wipes away tears.
“I—I don’t think he’s despicable.”
“I know, ‘cause you always like to see
the best in people. But Aude, trust me, this time you’re only gonna hurt yourself by forgiving him.”
“Maybe you’re right. Heck, you probably are. But I can’t help it, I wanna give him a second chance.”
“Then give him a second chance. But protect yourself, in case you get hurt.”
Chapter Twenty-seven
“I’m so sorry,” Maddie mouths.
Devon pulls Aude into a hug. “Happy birthday!”
“Uh, thanks. Everyone else is out back.” Aude points to her back yard. Devon swaggers off to join her friends and family.
Maddie grimaces. “Sorry. I didn’t have a date.”
“So you brought him?”
“Yeah. Sorry.” Maddie holds out a thin, rectangular package. “Three guesses what it is.”
“A new bible?” Aude jokes. “Here, you can put it on the picnic table. My mom’s probably gonna bring out the cake in a few minutes.” She closes the door and heads to the back of her house. The party couldn’t be more divided: the high schoolers are standing by themselves in one corner of the yard, Aude’s parents and their friends are loitering near the grill, and Jenna stands in the middle, as if torn between the two groups.
Devon already looks deep in conversation with Aude’s sister, but she has no clue what they could be talking about. Aude walks by them, close enough to pick up a few words, but they just sound like normal small talk.
“Hey Aude,” Kate says. “Cool party.”
“Oh, thanks.”
“No problem.” Kate looks around. “This is a nice day.”
“Uh huh. Yeah, Dad bought tents in case it rained, but—I guess we won’t have to use them.”
Kate’s date, Connor, cracks his neck. He looks almost bored. So does Hannah, and a few of the others.
“You wanna play some soccer?” Aude asks. “I think we still have a ball in the garage.” Eager nods all around. She retrieves Jenna’s worn silver ball, covered in scratches from a million practices, and brings it out to the back yard. “Okay, so, um, I guess the fence on one side can be one goal, and the fence on the other side can be the other. What are we doing for teams?”
The Clique Page 16