by Amy Andrews
‘Beth?’
Rilla looked up to find her father and an ashen-faced Gabe, still in his scrubs, staring at his daughter, who looked increasingly small amongst all the medical equipment that Julia, Karen and the ICU doctor and nurse kept adding. Beth ran straight into his arms, sobbing loudly. ‘I’m so sorry, Gabe. It all happened so fast.’
‘Shh,’ he soothed. ‘She’s in good hands now.’
‘How are you, darling?’
John Winters embraced his middle daughter.
‘I’ve been better.’ Rilla hugged her father. ‘Thank goodness for Luca being around. He was…’ her eyes met Luca’s over her father’s shoulder ‘…magnificent.’
It was true. He’d been calm and focused under pressure. He’d been exactly what Bridie had needed. What she’d needed—again. Their gazes locked.
John moved out of Rilla’s embrace and shook his son-in-law’s hand. ‘Thank you, Luca. Again.’
Minutes later Bridie was attached to the transport ventilator and was ready to move up to PICU.
‘Julia, I know we’re frantic but—’
‘Go,’ Julia ordered Rilla with a dismissive wave of her hand. ‘Of course you must go. Don’t worry about us. We’ll be fine. Just look after that niece of yours. And your sister.’
Rilla gave her boss a hug. Deserting her post on a frantic day was not going to win any brownie points for the NUM job but it was moments like these that put trifling things like jobs firmly into perspective, and Julia understood that family came first. It was why she was leaving her beloved post, uprooting her kids and following her husband and his new job to Canada.
Luca accompanied them, down corridors and up lifts, walking silently beside Rilla. Ahead Gabe and Beth huddled together, seeking comfort and support from each other and Rilla yearned to be able to do the same with Luca. She was so worried about Bridie, she could feel a knot in the pit of her stomach the size of a cricket ball and her legs felt like a dubious support. Once she would have leant on Luca automatically. But so much had changed.
The ICU nurse asked them all to wait in the parents’ lounge, promising to get them as soon as they had Bridie settled.
‘You don’t have to stay,’ Rilla said quietly as Luca took a seat next to her. He’d removed his tie and undone the top two buttons and she quashed the stupid urge to crawl onto his lap.
He turned and looked at her. ‘I’m staying.’
Rilla swallowed, absurdly happy by his insistence. She shouldn’t be. She should be angry. Why hadn’t he offered this level of support when she’d needed it seven years ago? Instead, he had thrown himself into his work, grown away from her. As had she. Too ill equipped to deal with the tragic end to a fledgling pregnancy so early in their relationship.
But he was here now, all solid and silent and dependable, and as confusing as it was, she’d take it for the moment. Because Bridie was by no means out of the woods and Luca had always made her feel like she could cope with anything when he was by her side. Well, for a while, anyway.
An increasingly fretting Beth and Gabe were ushered inside twenty minutes later. Given that they were all on staff at the hospital and the patient was the chief of staff’s granddaughter, the unit’s policy of only two visitors at a time could no doubt have been bent, but Rilla knew her sister and brother-in-law needed time by themselves with Bridie.
A frantic Hailey arrived, followed closely by Penny Winters.
‘Darling. What happened? How is she? Oh, poor Beth,’ Penny gabbled.
John embraced his wife. ‘She’s ventilated. They think she has a respiratory infection. We don’t know much more than that at the moment.’
Penny held her arms out to her daughters and Rilla and Hailey embraced their mother. ‘She’ll be fine, Mum,’ Rilla assured her.
‘Has anyone contacted David?’ Hailey asked.
They all looked at each other. ‘Damn! No.’ John shook his head and flipped open his mobile phone. ‘I’ll do it now.’
‘David?’ Luca murmured to Rilla as he watched John leave the room.
‘Beth’s son.’
Luca frowned. ‘The one she put up for adoption when she was fifteen? Just before your parents fostered her?’
Rilla nodded, not surprised that he’d remembered. He had been very close to her family. ‘He found her earlier this year.’
‘That’s wonderful,’ Luca enthused quietly. ‘Beth must have been ecstatic.’
Rilla swallowed a lump, thinking about all the things he’d missed out on. The things they could have shared, that he could have been part of. ‘She was.’
Another hour passed while the family waited. The television was on in the background, a welcome distraction, but no one could really concentrate on it for any length of time. They made idle chit-chat, all the time on tenterhooks.
Luca looked at his watch. It was two o’clock. He saw the strain and felt the tension in the room and felt as helpless as the rest of the Winters family. Whether he wanted it or not, he and Bridie were connected.
And not just because she was his estranged wife’s niece but because he’d been at her birth. Had put a tube in her throat today to save her life. After seven years of silence he wasn’t sure if he belonged here any more, amongst this shocked family, but he felt compelled to stay anyway.
Not just for him but for Rilla. OK, he’d come back to give himself some closure, to prove he was over her and sign the divorce papers, but Rilla was in the midst of a crisis and nothing else mattered for the moment other than Bridie getting well.
‘I’m going to go and get us all some lunch,’ he announced, standing and stretching.
He returned fifteen minutes later with a variety of prepackaged sandwiches, muffins, chocolate bars and a tray full of cappuccinos. Gabe entered the room as the food was being devoured. They all stood.
‘How is she?’ John asked.
‘Her condition is still unstable. Her blood gases are terrible and they keep escalating her ventilation. They’ve had to keep her paralysed to ventilate her adequately.’
Gabe’s voice cracked and they all crowded closer, touching his arm, rubbing his back and hugging him.
‘How’s Beth?’ Luca asked.
Gabe rubbed his eyes. ‘Terrible. She’s exhausted. Bridie hasn’t been sleeping or feeding well the last few nights because of the cold, so Beth’s pretty sleep deprived on top of being scared out of her mind.’
‘Has she eaten?’ Rilla asked.
Gabe shook his head. ‘I’ve tried to persuade her to come out and have some lunch but she’s adamant she’s fine.’
‘Right.’ Rilla nodded. ‘You sit and have something to eat and I’ll see if I can persuade her. Bossy sister might work better.’
Gabe nodded. ‘Thank you.’
Rilla was stopped at the door by Luca’s. ‘Do you want company?’
She looked back over her shoulder. The thought of seeing Bridie so ill was sickening and she was surprised at how very, very much she did want Luca with her. ‘Two at a time. That’s the rules,’ she pointed out.
‘Forget the rules,’ Luca said, striding towards her.
They spoke briefly with the ICU doctor who had helped earlier before going into Bridie’s isolation room. Beth looked dreadful, her face puffy, her hair rumpled. Rilla hugged her and Beth’s face crumpled.
‘She’s getting worse,’ she sobbed into Rilla’s shoulder.
‘Shh,’ Rilla crooned. ‘The doctor was just saying they’ve confirmed it’s RSV. You know they always get worse before they get better.’
Rilla looked at her niece lying in the warming cot, wires criss-crossing her tiny body like railway tracks. The monitor displayed multicoloured squiggles representing heart rate and blood pressure as well as respiratory rate and oxygen saturations.
Bridie had only been two and half kilos at birth and the illness had set her weight gain back. She was so pale, her legs slightly mottled. She looked lifeless and Rilla could see why Beth was so distraught.
Rilla s
troked Bridie’s fingers, which were just sticking out from beneath some bandages. An IV line had been placed in her arm and it had been bundled up to keep it secure.
‘Hey sweetie,’ she crooned, ‘your Aunty Ril’s here. We all are.’
She looked over her shoulder at Luca. She was conscious of his presence behind her and his quick reassuring smile bolstered her flagging confidence that everything would be all right. He placed a hand on her shoulder and his thumb stroked the tense muscles of her neck.
‘Beth, Luca bought some lunch. Why don’t you come outside and have something to eat?’
Beth shook her head vigorously.
‘You need to keep your strength up, Beth,’ Rilla cajoled.
‘I can’t leave her.’ Beth shook her head again.
Rilla could see the determined jut of her sister’s chin. She needed to eat. She looked like she was ready to drop. Rilla despaired that she wouldn’t find the right words and she looked up at Luca. He squeezed her shoulder and mouthed, ‘Let me.’
‘Beth,’ Luca said, coming around to kneel beside her. ‘You need to look after yourself. Bridie is in the best place, being looked after by the best people. You need to rest and eat and drink regularly. They’re going to want you to start expressing milk soon to provide Bridie with much-needed calories to help her recover quickly. Your milk supply will suffer if you don’t take care of yourself. You wouldn’t want that, would you?’
Beth raised her face to look at Luca. ‘No,’ she sniffled.
‘OK, then. I promise Rilla and I will stay here right by her side until you get back. We won’t leave her, will we, Rilla?’
Rilla felt mesmerised by his low, accented voice. His sincerity was strangely seductive. ‘No. Absolutely not.’
Beth looked at Rilla then back at Luca. ‘OK. But just for a short while.’
‘Of course,’ Rilla said.
And that set up the pattern for the next two nights and days. As the medical team supported Bridie, adjusting to each phase of the illness, the family rallied to make sure that Beth and Gabe were getting enough rest and time away and looking after themselves.
Penny cooked nutritious meals and tempting snacks, feeding them all as they maintained their vigil at the hospital, grabbing brief moments of sleep where they could along with quick showers and hasty clothing changes.
Rilla didn’t leave the hospital at all, the vision of Bridie the day she’d come in by ambulance still too fresh in her mind. Luca stayed by her side and was a huge support for the entire family, volunteering to do the myriad things that needed doing outside the hospital so the family could stay together.
And, of course, when it was her turn to be with Bridie—night or day—he was by her side. It was odd, spending so much time in his company after seven years of no contact at all. By tacit agreement they didn’t talk about their own issues, even though she kept asking herself why. Why was he back? Why was he acting like he was still a part of the Winters clan? Like he still wanted to be part?
For the moment it was immensely comforting to have Luca with her. Their time for questions would come soon enough.
‘So how did Gabe and Beth meet?’ Luca asked as they sat beside Bridie in the wee small hours of the third day.
He’d been watching Rilla for the last hour as she’d struggled to keep her eyes open, the tawny flecks in her amber eyes visible even in the subdued light of the room. He remembered numerous times when she’d looked at him with slumberous eyes, turning in his arms and snuggling against him, her head beneath his chin as she’d fallen asleep.
‘The Fisher twins,’ Rilla said, rousing herself from the thick web of exhaustion. She’d had maybe ten hours of sleep in small blocks over the last couple of days and it was catching up with her.
Luca frowned. ‘The conjoined twins?’ Luca recalled the case instantly. There had been a lot of global press and he’d paid particular attention because of the connection with his old hospital, the Brisbane General.
Rilla nodded. ‘Gabe was the surgeon who separated them. Beth is NUM of operating theatres here. They worked very closely on the case. Bridie’s named after one of the twins.’
Luca had always had a soft spot for Rilla’s older sister. ‘I’m pleased Beth got her happily-ever-after. She’s had a tough life, she deserves it.’
Rilla agreed. Beth had been through a lot before the Winters family had taken her in, and no one was more worthy of happiness.
But what about me? About us?
Rilla didn’t know where the errant thought came from. Maybe it was the hour, maybe it was the persistent tug of tiredness, but the urge to demand answers was suddenly overwhelming.
Bridie coughed and the ventilator alarm was triggered, along with the monitor, and the words died on her lips. This is not the place, Rilla. Not the place. Concentrate on Bridie and worry about Luca and his motives another time.
Later that morning they had their first piece of good news. Ventilation had been reduced. Bridie’s condition was stabilising. She’d turned the corner.
Beth was over the moon. It was the first time Rilla had seen her sister smile in three days. Everyone was kissing and hugging each other, and Rilla was so relieved that when Luca kissed her she kissed him back enthusiastically. ‘Isn’t it great?’ she enthused, pulling away. A shot of adrenaline charged through her system. She wasn’t entirely sure it had anything to do with her niece’s improved condition either.
‘It’s the best,’ Luca agreed, savouring the taste of her after seven years of famine.
Bridie improved rapidly over the course of the day and the medical staff were hoping to have her extubated by tomorrow or the next day at the latest. The mood was suddenly lighter. Their collective tiredness magically evaporated.
Beth and Gabe ordered everyone home later that night.
‘Now we know she’s turned the corner, we’re going to sleep in the parents’ lounge tonight on one of the pull-out sofas,’ Beth said. ‘We’re both exhausted. So are all of you. We can’t thank you enough for all the support these last few days but you need to go to your homes. Sleep in your beds.’
The family protested and fussed but Beth was adamant and they eventually all agreed they could do with a good night’s sleep. Rilla and Luca hung around for a few hours after everyone else had left. She felt too anxious to leave. Her home was furthest away and she wanted to be close should Bridie relapse.
‘Go home,’ Beth ordered at close to midnight as Gabe prepared their sofa bed.
‘I don’t mind staying the night,’ she stalled.
‘Luca, take her home,’ Beth said, hands on hips.
Luca rose and Rilla shot him a ‘down, boy’ glare. ‘But everyone else is so much closer.’
‘You’re only ten minutes away,’ Beth pointed out.
‘Mum and Dad and Hailey are two,’ Rilla returned.
‘So go stay with them.’
‘They’ll all be asleep by now and I don’t have a key any more.’ Rilla knew she was going to sleep like the dead. She didn’t want to wake any of them from their first decent sleep in three days.
‘I’m two minutes away,’ Luca interrupted. Why he did so, he had no idea. But it made sense.
Rilla looked at him, startled. She saw Beth look at Gabe in her peripheral vision.
‘Problem solved,’ Beth said brightly.
‘Luca, no,’ Rilla said, shying from the intense blackness of his eyes.
‘You’re tired, I’m tired. I live closer. It’s just geography, cara.’
‘He’s right,’ Beth pushed.
Rilla looked from one to the other. She knew he was right. Except he said ‘cara’ and she wanted to melt. Rilla wavered.
‘You can sleep in the spare room,’ Luca said.
Well, she sure as hell wasn’t going to be sleeping with him.
‘Damn right I will,’ she said, gathering her stuff and heading for the door, Luca’s sexy chuckle following her.
CHAPTER THREE
RILLA was exhausted
. Utterly, deep-down-in-her-bones, one hundred per cent exhausted. But despite the weariness of her body, the charged silence in Luca’s car was keeping her super-alert. She must have been crazy to agree to this. There was too much to say, too much to talk about. And she just wasn’t up for it. Not tonight.
Luca pulled into the driveway, braked and turned the engine off. She looked at the flat that had been their home for the brief time they’d been together, too shattered to move, memories swamping her. The things they’d gotten up to between those four walls…
She’d moved in with Luca within weeks of meeting him, so in love, so sure of their love. The flat hadn’t been much, but they hadn’t needed much. Back then, all they’d needed had been each other.
After they’d returned from their Italian honeymoon they’d planned on buying a house and had been actively looking when her bombshell pregnancy had been revealed. Then all their carefully laid plans had gone out the window.
After their marriage had disintegrated she’d moved out and eventually bought herself an apartment at South Bank. Luca had kept the flat, placing it in the hands of a rental agency just prior to leaving the country, and it had been occupied on and off for the past seven years.
Rilla had often found herself in the street, outside the tiny two-bedroom place where they’d first made love. It had become a habit over the years, a bad one, and she’d noticed only last month that the flat was vacant again.
Was she ready to be alone with him? In their little flat full of memories? The attraction was still there, she couldn’t deny it. Even after days without sleep, every cell in her body crying out for slumber, it pulsed between them.
Seven years apart hadn’t doused the instantaneous flare that heated her body every time she looked at him. If anything, maturity had given him an even sexier edge, stoking the flame higher. And the way he’d stayed by her side had been heroic and appealing on an emotional level that called to her even more than the physical attraction.
‘Come on, Rilla,’ Luca murmured, breaking the silence in the confines of the car. She was looking at the place as if it were the portal to hell.