by Amy Andrews
He lifted his head. Their gazes locked as their bodies moved to a rhythm that was innately them. Higher and higher. Closer and closer. Rilla fought against the rise. It swelled up and she beat it back, wanting to cherish this moment. Wanting it to last.
Luca groaned, his resolve to outlast her fraying by the second. The pressure in his loins built unbearably.
He lowered his head to her breasts and sucked each nipple deep into his mouth. He grunted at her strangled gasp and looked up into her face. She was walking the fine line between pleasure and pain and he wanted to, needed to, feel her come apart in his arms.
He buried his face in her neck, his forehead against the door. He turned so his lips were at her ear and he whispered words of lust and longing in his native tongue.
Rilla shivered as his breath caressed her ear and clutched his shoulders as the words destroyed her concentration. ‘No…fair…Luca,’ she cried as the words filled her head and flowed over her body like fine silk and warm honey.
‘Come on, Rilla, come with me,’ Luca whispered as he felt her muscles grip him hard and knew she was about to go over the edge. And he was right there with her.
‘I hate it that you can still do this to me,’ she sobbed as her orgasm rushed forward, unable to be held back after so much denial. She bucked against the door, her back arching.
He hated her power over him too. But then his own release joined hers and he couldn’t think any more. He held her tight as for one elusive moment the world stopped and pleasure erupted around him, rained down on him. Then he rode it, rocking her against the door, stoking her release and his until there was nothing left, until they were breathless and spent.
The house was silent except for the sound of their uneven breathing. He stirred, raining gentle kisses over her face, whispering endearments in Italian, still locked inside her. ‘Are you OK, cara?’ he whispered.
Rilla could barely speak, never mind wrap her head around the explosion of passion she’d been at the centre of. ‘I…don’t know.’
‘Shh,’ Luca soothed, adjusting them so he could swing her into his arms. ‘You’re tired—we both are.’ He carried her into his room and lowered her gently onto the bed, lying beside her, pulling her against him spoon fashion.
‘Go to sleep,’ he murmured into her hair, his own eyes unbearably heavy, post-coital fatigue melding with days of inadequate sleep.
Rilla knew she should be protesting the intimacy. Having sex against the front door was one thing. But spending the night in his bed, like lovers, like husband and wife, was another. But the intense orgasm had sapped what little reserves she had and she could feel the lure of sleep pulling her under even before her head hit the pillow.
She was out cold in seconds.
CHAPTER FOUR
THE sun, already high in the sky, finally penetrated Rilla’s closed lids. She opened them slowly, taking a moment or two to orientate herself, last night returning in full Technicolor detail. She was alone and she didn’t know whether to feel relieved or annoyed.
She looked down at her fully clothed form. Well, sort of fully clothed. Her red shirt was still undone and gaping open, revealing her bra. She blushed, thinking about how it had gotten that way, and wondered what Luca had thought when he’d woken this morning to see her goods on full display.
Had he tried to wake her? Her slumber had been so deep she doubted whether she’d even moved overnight. A nuclear explosion probably wouldn’t have woken her this morning. Three days and nights of little sleep, the stress of Bridie’s illness and a bone-melting orgasm had certainly taken their toll.
Rilla stretched and felt the ache of internal muscles that hadn’t been used in a long time. Her teeth worried her bottom lip as she thought about their next meeting. Would it be awkward? Would they know what to say to each other? What were his expectations? Hell—what were hers?
She didn’t know. She didn’t know what it meant or how it would affect them working together or their looming divorce. She did know that last night hadn’t been the wisest thing she’d ever done. In fact, muddying the waters that way had been incredibly stupid. And if she could undo it, she would.
Really.
Rilla turned her head to check the time. The red numbers told her it was eleven o’clock.
Eleven o’clock!
She vaulted into an upright position. She’d had no idea it was so late. Why had Luca let her sleep so long? Where was he? The house was as silent as a cemetery. Damn it! She should be at the hospital. He should have woken her. She needed a shower and a change of clothes and her car was still at the hospital. Argh!
An hour later, Rilla strode into the parents’ lounge to find Gabe and Beth eating lunch.
‘Afternoon, sleepyhead,’ Beth teased.
Rilla felt the tension ooze out of her. Beth was looking rested and was showing some sass—Bridie must have had a good night. ‘I take it everything’s still going well?’
‘By leaps and bounds,’ Beth confirmed. ‘Luca’s in with her so we could eat together.’
Her heart gave a loud thud at the mention of Luca’s name. So he was there? ‘Oh,’ Rilla said, trying for nonchalance. ‘Has he been here long?’
‘Couple of hours.’ Gabe shrugged.
‘Why don’t you go and keep him company? We’ll be another fifteen minutes or so,’ Beth suggested.
Rilla’s pulse reverberated through her entire body, her heart banging against her ribs as if it was trying to escape her chest as she approached Bridie’s room. She was more nervous seeing him now than she had been the other morning at work with an audience of colleagues.
She drew level with the doorway to the isolation room and stopped short. Luca was stroking Bridie’s head and murmuring to her in his native tongue, calling her his little bush bambina. He was looking at her with such compassion it sucked Rilla’s breath away.
Was he thinking about their baby as he stroked Bridie’s downy wisps? As she was? Wondering how different it could have been had she managed to carry their baby to full term. As she was? Fantasising about dribbly smiles, early-morning cuddles and soft baby skin? As she was?
Why had they let things go so cold between them?
Bridie’s nurse spotted her in the doorway and told her to come in. Luca raised his head and she held her breath, unsure of what she would see in his eyes.
‘Hello, Rilla.’
Rilla saw the same wariness she knew was reflected in her gaze. Did he regret their impulsiveness too? ‘You should have woken me, Luca,’ Rilla chided, as she walked to the other side of her niece’s cot.
He was looking devastatingly casual in a polo shirt and jeans, and she wondered if they were the ones he’d been wearing last night. The ones she’d helped him out of.
Luca watched her approach, trying to gauge her state of mind. He noticed she’d showered and changed her clothes. Her hair was still wet and pulled back into a sleek ponytail. A sudden memory of him brushing her newly washed hair for her on their honeymoon reared up at him and he looked down at Bridie, unprepared for the mix of emotions it evoked.
‘You were exhausted,’ he dismissed.
She hadn’t been too exhausted to cross a line that had been decisively drawn seven years ago.
Rilla also averted her gaze to her niece. Bridie was awake and looking around, her breathing tube and the brown tape holding it secure marring her cherubic features. Her tiny fingers grasped Luca’s forefinger and Rilla was pleased for the distraction.
‘Hello, sweetie,’ Rilla crooned at her niece, because it was easier to talk to her than to face Luca.
After a few minutes of babbling to Bridie, aware of their pregnant silence, Rilla said, ‘Beth was saying she had a good night.’
‘Yes. They’re talking about extubating her tomorrow.’
They made awkward small talk for the next ten minutes, talking to the nurse and to Bridie to avoid having to talk to each other.
‘We’re back,’ Beth announced, entering the room holding Gabe’s han
d.
Rilla envied her sister’s relationship. Gabe and Beth hadn’t been together that long either, but Bridie’s crisis had only strengthened their union. They were leaning on each other. Unlike them. First sign of a problem in their marriage and they’d fallen apart.
‘Why don’t you guys go and have lunch at the cafeteria?’ Beth suggested. ‘It’s a beautiful day and I bet you raced to the hospital without eating anything, Rilla.’
It was true—she’d showered, changed and then bolted over. And she was starving. She chanced a glance at Luca. He shrugged and raised an eyebrow at her and she nodded. There were things that had to be said. Next week they’d be working together again and they couldn’t work as an effective team, crucial to emergency medicine, with last night dangling between them.
Luca waited until they were seated at one of the shaded outside tables before he launched straight into the speech he’d been practising.
‘I’m sorry…about last night…It shouldn’t have happened,’ Luca said. ‘I take full responsibility. I should have shown more restraint.’ It was then he realised that he hadn’t even thought about contraception. Hell.
‘Don’t,’ Rilla said, holding up her hand and refusing to let him shoulder the blame. It was typical of Luca to want to protect her, but she was just as accountable. ‘I wanted it as much as you did.’
‘No.’ He shook his head vigorously. ‘You were tired. Your niece was ill. It was a…mistake.’
Rilla felt strangely miffed by his critical summation of their spontaneous passion. She knew he was right, that their relationship didn’t need the complication, but as far as mistakes went, Rilla had made a few in her life and none of them had ever made her feel quite that good.
She shrugged, trying to be nonchalant. Like she had head-banging sex against doors with men every day of the week. ‘People have sex with their exes all the time, Luca. I think it was probably inevitable. Now it’s out of our systems, we can get on with our lives. We’ve banished the lust demons, so to speak. Cleared the air.’
‘That was clearing the air?’ he asked incredulously. Seven years of denial had culminated in a hell of a climax and banished nothing. In fact, his libido, non-existent for years, had suddenly roared to life.
How were they supposed to put their past behind them, work together after that? Maybe he should have thought his impulse to apply for the position at the General through a little better. Maybe he should have ignored the urge and stayed in the UK. But the divorce papers arriving out of the blue after seven years of silence had thrown him, and he hadn’t questioned the whim to return.
Rilla blushed. OK, maybe that was simplifying it too much, considering her entire body still throbbed with his possession. Sitting opposite him now, his masculinity a potent aphrodisiac, she realised it had just whetted her appetite. Exacerbated the desire she’d kept a tight lid on for the last seven years.
‘I just think we should put last night in context. You said you came back for closure. I think we both got that last night. One last hurrah, so to speak. The important thing is we have to work together, Luca. I’ve worked hard to establish my career. I’m up for the NUM position and I can’t let anything derail my focus. Sign the papers, Luca. Let’s put an end to it so we can both move forward.’
Rilla paused, proud of her rock-solid delivery. Inside she was quaking but she knew it had sounded succinct and confident. They could analyse last night until the cows came home. It was what they did from now on that mattered.
‘You’ve changed,’ Luca murmured. She was decisive. Taking the lead. Confident. Not the Rilla who had been happy just being part of them.
Rilla shrugged. ‘I grew up, Luca. I had a miscarriage. We grew apart. You left.’
Luca winced at her ruthless but concise summation of their downward spiral.
‘Did you expect to come back and find me pining for you?’
Had he? Luca didn’t know. He would have been sorely disappointed if he had. She hadn’t even kept her wedding ring on. ‘I don’t know, Rilla.’
Rilla searched his face for a sign of his real motives. For something to make sense of his reappearance. She found nothing in his schooled features. His black eyes were unreadable, his face carefully neutral. So different from last night.
She’d seen that look too many times before. Even when she had told him to leave he had looked at her with that frustrating distance in his gaze. ‘Did you even think about me, Luca?’ she asked.
Every day. I picked up the phone to ring you every day for two years. ‘More than was good for my sanity.’
Rilla felt her heart stop in her chest before resuming at an erratic pace. She hadn’t expected to hear the wrenched admission.
‘And you?’ he asked.
‘You were my husband. I loved you. You were never far from my thoughts.’
Luca felt the husky timbre of her voice right down to his groin. ‘Am. Present tense. I am your husband.’
Rilla looked at him incredulously. Just because they’d had sex, it didn’t make them a couple again again. Too much time had passed. If it had only been two years or even five, she could have still held out hope. But his distance and his silence had gradually killed anything she’d ever felt for him.
‘No. Luca. You are my estranged husband. One signature and you’re my ex-husband. Let’s not kid ourselves that last night was any more than a unique situation fuelled by emotion and fatigue.’
‘And you think we can work together again with last night between us?’
They had to. She’d worked too long and too hard to jeopardise her chances at the top job now. ‘We’re not teenagers, Luca,’ she said, not bothering to disguise her annoyance. ‘With any luck I’m about to land the NUM position. Whether we like it or not, we’re going to have to get along. Do I think we can ever go back to the way we used to work together? No. But, then, we’re no longer lowly registrar and junior nurse. You’re the consultant and I’m pretty sure I’m going to be NUM. People will be looking to us to lead. I know we can treat each other with respect and collegial propriety. In fact, I expect it. Will that be a problem for you?’
Yes and no. Certainly he would show her the same respect he’d always shown her at work as an important and integral part of the team. Someone whose opinion he valued highly. But even now, sitting opposite her, despite her assertions they’d exorcised their lust demons, he knew he wanted her again. Would that get worse, seeing her every day?
‘No problem,’ Luca assured her.
Rilla expelled the breath she’d been holding when it had looked like he was about to argue. ‘Good.’ She swallowed the remnants of her coffee. ‘In that case I look forward to working with you again, Dr Romano.’
She offered her hand and was pleased when he encompassed it in a firm grip.
‘And you, Sister Winters.’
She ignored the mad flutter of the pulse at her wrist as his low voice stroked her skin and his hand lingered. She extracted hers determinedly. There was no space in her life to indulge in fluttering pulses.
Rilla returned to work on Monday, knowing that Bridie was out of PICU and probably going to be discharged from the kids’ ward tomorrow. The fact that Hailey worked there and would be looking out for their niece doubled Rilla’s confidence.
All she had to worry about now was the fact that it was Luca’s first day at the hospital. A ball of nervous energy sat in the pit of her stomach as she worried how their first day back at work together would pan out. She’d only caught the odd glance of him over the last few days as he’d popped in to see Bridie each day, and knowing that she would be seeing him every day was daunting to say the least.
She was also acutely aware that too much of the space in her head in the last few days had been taken up by their explosive joining. It had replayed over and over in her mind. She’d looked at it from every angle, analysed it, berated herself over it and dreamt about it at night in surround-sound, giant-plasma-screen detail.
And she still wasn’t sure
what to make of it.
But she was sure of one thing. Their unexpected intimacy complicated her determination to keep their relationship strictly professional.
The first person she saw as she walked through the door for her late shift was Luca. He was sitting at the central desk and their gazes locked. There was a brief flare in his eyes, a reaction that she recognised as purely physical, before he blinked and his gaze became warily neutral.
‘Rilla.’ He nodded his head. ‘How are you?’
‘Good, thank you,’ she said, fixing a smile on her face as she calmly walked by.
A few hours later a young man walked through the sliding doors as Rilla swept past on her way to greet an arriving ambulance.
‘Are you OK?’ she asked, gesturing to the young man to take a seat.
Both hands were grasping his neck, one on either side just below his ears. His fingers were splayed wide, his thumbs stretching to meet beneath his chin. He was holding his head very still and a frown knitted his brows together.
‘It’ll probably sound really silly,’ he said.
Rilla ruefully wished she had a dollar for every time she’d heard that in the emergency department. But the young man was abnormally still, barely even opening his mouth widely enough to be understood, and she could see a hint of fear in his gaze. She smiled encouragingly. ‘Did you do something to your neck?’
‘I don’t recall doing anything but…’ He paused. ‘This sounds so dumb…my head feels like it’s going to fall off.’
Rilla smiled again while every cell in her body grew instantly alarmed. ‘OK, right. Well, first things first. We’re going to get a collar on you and get a doctor to see you.’
Immediately.
She smiled at him again. ‘What’s your name?’ she asked as she gestured to Emily, the ward clerk at the triage desk.
‘Damien.’
‘Hi, Damien. I’m Rilla.’
Emily approached. ‘Ems, can you find a nurse and tell them I need a cervical collar, please?’