"No more I can handle things on my own nonsense, you hear? Big brothers are for leaning on,” Michael stated with a smile.
Then Katie told her family about the investigation, Kenny, and Lou.
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Chapter 10
An hour later, Katie's brothers left the house and Katie and Lea sat at the kitchen table. In the aftermath of her daughter's confession of the truth, there should have been a more relaxed feeling in the air. Instead, Lea's heart was heavy with concern and an even greater need to keep her daughter close and protect her. Katie was a strong young woman. That was obvious not only by her experience in the fire but in her actions in her job and in her personal life. Lea felt guilty for not pushing her daughter to confess the truth over the phone a year ago. Why had she allowed Katie to start a fight with her and why hadn't she just jumped on the damn plane and rushed to her side? Was it selfish fear? Deep down the thought of losing one of her children to a fire as she had lost Mack naturally entered her mind. Subconsciously, she made the decision to stay in Warrens Cove and prayed that Katie was telling the truth. Now, after hearing the truth about what Katie experienced, Lea felt awful. When Mack died Lea had prayed that none of her children would ever experience such loss and pain. There was no way to describe the hollow feelings, the lack of will to go on with life or the constant depression. Lea's children were what kept her alive.
"Mom, are you all right?” she asked.
Lea sighed a moment then looked up.
"I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Kay, I'm...” A tear escaped Lea's eye and ran down her cheek.
Katie placed one hand over her mom's and wiped the tear away from her mom's cheek, gently, with her thumb.
"I know, Mom. I'm sorry I didn't come home sooner. I guess I have made a lot of decisions that I should not have made."
"That is not true. You made the same decisions I would have made."
Their gazes met and Lea smiled lightly.
"After everything you witnessed with your father's death, my reaction to the loss, my lack of will to live, how could you want to come to your family for support?"
"Oh, Mom, I wasn't thinking straight. I was so wrapped up in pain I could not see what I really needed. Do you remember when I first arrived home and we were all sitting at the dining room table? You asked me what my plans were and when I mentioned finding an apartment you flipped out."
"I overreacted Katie. I'm sorry about that."
"No, Mom. Don't be sorry. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I had been alone in my apartment with my thoughts, my loss, my depression."
"What is it?"
Katie began to cry and her mom embraced her shoulders.
"I ... I don't know how to say this.” She continued to cry.
"It's all right Katie, tell me. I'm here for you now, remember."
Katie wiped the tears with the back of her hand.
"I wanted to die, Mom. I wanted to end my life so I wouldn't feel the pain anymore.” Katie sobbed and Lea held her close, caressing her hair as she spoke to her.
"Katie, darling. Look at me."
Katie glanced up into her mom's tear filled eyes.
"I understand.” The tear rolled down Lea's cheek.
"I understand all too well. I felt exactly the same way when your father died. There are only four reasons I am still here right now. You, Donny, Billy and Michael kept me alive. Without you.... “Lea cried and Katie held her mom tighter.
They remained silent for a few minutes, neither saying a word after such confessions.
Katie found it interesting that never once had Catholicism played any part in the decision to take her own life. Knowing they were practicing Catholics, receivers of all required sacraments, yet angering God and sinning by taking her own life never crossed her mind. Katie figured she was angrier at God than he could have ever been with her. She pushed the thoughts from her mind as Lea began to pull away.
"I love you so much, Katie. I hope you realize that you're never going to feel that alone again."
"That goes for you too mom. I need you in my life. I need the boys and I need Warrens Cove."
Lea watched her daughter fiddle around with her coffee mug. It seemed to Lea that more was on her daughter's mind.
"What else is wrong Katie?"
"I can't believe Donny said that my scars don't look bad. They're ugly."
"You think they're ugly and look so terrible because you're attaching your emotions to them and all your memories of the fire. You're gorgeous Katie and you can't be afraid to fall in love again and be intimate with another man because of those scars."
Katie shot her head up, surprised by her mom's rather forward comment, even though her mom had read her mind.
"I'm not in any such position, Mom.” Katie attempted the lie and as the words left her lips, she knew better. The emotion, the attraction and connection to Ryan were just too damn intense.
"Don't even try that with me.” Lea leaned forward in her chair. “Ryan Masters, a certain handsome, intimidating, firefighter you have a thing for."
"Mom, there's nothing going on between me and Ryan."
"Bologna! Your brothers told me about you telling Ryan off, and the way Ryan looked at you at the hospital, the bar, and about Theo Walters. Come on Katie, you're attracted to Ryan, just admit it."
"If you admit that you're seeing William,” Katie countered and Lea lost all coloring in her face. She quickly glanced towards the doorway hoping the boys had left.
"How did you...."
"Probably the same way you knew. Oh Mom, why are the two of you hiding? The boys won't be upset. They love William, they look up to him."
"Oh God, honey it is so hard. I am afraid they will be upset like I am cheating on Dad. Do you care that—
"Oh Mom you deserve to be happy. I am happy for you. It has been years since Daddy died. You should not feel guilty. I guess we are a lot alike. It's good we are talking about everything. I feel better now that you know what I went through and about Bradley. I think you should tell the boys about William. It has to be hard for William, always trying to hide his feelings."
"Never mind sneaking around,” Lea said, laying her hand against her forehead.
"Oh My God. That was so funny when I opened the back door and busted you.” Katie started to laugh.
"Katie Marie, that wasn't funny. You nearly gave me a heart attack."
"You're not kidding. You lost all coloring in your face."
"You knew and you didn't say a word to me?"
"I figured you weren't ready to tell yet. You have a right to your privacy."
Lea smiled then ran her finger gently around the rim of her brown coffee cup.
"You guys are in love, huh?” Katie asked. “Come on mom we're alike remember?"
"William told me that he loves me. He's upset that we haven't told the boys and that we're hiding our relationship."
"I don't blame him. If he loves you, then, he wants the world to know. You should be happy about that."
Lea sighed then reached across the table to touch Katie's hand.
"I still think about your father. I can't help it."
"That's understandable. You were together so long and had a family. That love and emotion does not just go away. I would think that you would never forget him. I know I won't. But, William isn't Dad. William is his own man with his own feelings and he loves you. You two deserve this and each other."
Lea stood up from the table. “Come here, smarty-pants."
Katie stood up and the two women embraced.
"I love you, Katie Marie, and I hope you take some of your own advice. Ryan could use a woman like you."
"What do you mean a woman like me?"
Lea held her daughter's hand.
"A strong, good-hearted woman, who can brighten anyone's day and heal them in the toughest of times. He needs you."
"I don't know, Mom. I don't think Ryan knows what he needs or what he wants."
"Everyone deserves a chance and assuming that he won't be able to handle your scars, your emotions or a relationship isn't a fair thing to do. Maybe he doesn't like being in the spotlight so much."
Katie sighed, unsure what to do. She leaned against the counter in the kitchen for a moment as Lea poured more hot coffee into their mugs.
"I feel a lot better now that you all know what happened. That was a big step and I don't think I'm ready to explain things to Ryan. I'm not sure I'm ready to be intimate with another man yet either. It's just too soon.” She sighed.
"You can't put a time limit on when it's right or wrong to fall in love again, to be intimate with a man again and to share your heart. You just offered me some great advice and it is not easy,” Lea stated.
"Oh mom, I'm not comparing the years of love and commitment you and Daddy had to what little bit Bradley and I had. There's no comparison."
"I know that Katie, and you're not understanding the simplicity of this. Neither did I and you've helped me to realize it."
Katie gazed at her mom, not quite understanding what she was getting at.
Lea smiled. “It's all about falling in love, making that deep connection, knowing that when you're in his arms nothing else matters. You can't ... I can't, control fate and what is meant to be. It is time to move on and to give love a chance again. Not everyone gets a second chance.” Lea smiled.
Katie exhaled, unsure what to believe.
"I have to make a phone call,” Lea stated. Simultaneously, Katie's cell phone rang. Katie walked to her purse to retrieve it.
"Hello."
"Hey Katie. It's Lucy."
"Hi Lucy. What's going on? How was last night?"
"Eventful. I'll tell you about it tonight at work. I ... I just wanted to call you to tell you how amazing you are."
"What are you talking about?"
"Surviving that fire, losing your friend, your injuries ... everything. The article was incredible."
"Who told you? What are you talking about?"
"Oh my God, you mean, you haven't seen the paper?"
"No!"
"The newspaper did a huge article on fire prevention and on Kevin's family and Brad. You're mentioned in the story and how you took care of Kevin and about your nickname, Angel."
"Oh no. Oh my God.” Katie covered her mouth.
* * * *
Michael started to type the information into the search browser on the Internet. Billy sat on chair next to Michael and Donny stood behind them.
"Do a search on the serial arsonist loose in Bolton Bay. That should bring up some information,” Donny stated.
"I know what I'm doing,” Michael replied as he clicked the ‘Enter’ button.
Numerous pages of links filled the screen but Michael's eyes immediately drew to the words in bold capital letters.
"There! That was the name of the place. This is it.” Billy pointed to the screen, confirming what he was thinking the same thing that his brother Michael was.
"TEN PEOPLE AND ONE FIREFIGHTER DIE IN CLUB FIRE AND FLOOR COLLAPSE, MANY OTHERS INJURED"
Michael read the article aloud.
"Eleven people, including one firefighter, died last night and many others were injured during a fire at The Club, located on the boardwalk in Bolton Bay. It was a warm, summer evening of live music and entertainment as many young people crowded the famous, multi level club."
As he read the words aloud and the sequence of events that occurred through the eyes of numerous witnesses the tears filled his eyes. He scanned over some of the other headlines, reading them to his brothers as well.
"The community, leaders and comrades pay tribute to the fallen firefighter and ten civilians killed in the fire authorities believe was set on purpose. The combined investigation by the local Bolton Bay Arson Investigative Unit and Bolton Bay Police Department continues with little insight into the individual or individuals responsible for last week's blaze."
"Many survivors of the fire have set up a memorial for all those lives that were lost last Friday evening, laying flowers and lighting candles outside by a sign and the only remnant of the famous club that once existed. The sight of the building's remains is heart wrenching and the town of Bolton Bay will forever mourn the sequence of events that led to such a great loss."
"Many continue to send cards, words of condolences and prayers to the firehouse where brave firefighter, Bradley Riley worked for more than six years."
"We're going to miss him. He was a great firefighter, a true friend. You could always count on him,” Fire Chief Jerry Parker stated when asked about the firefighter serving under his command.
"Click onto the Federal Emergency Management Agency, they should have the specifics about the event there,” Billy stated, pointing to the next link on the page.
Michael clicked the mouse a few more times, typing in the date and the information he obtained from the previous articles. Then the report appeared.
"Key Issues: Situation: As firefighters arrived onto the scene, it appeared the fire was in the basement level but no fire was visible. Smoke and heat increased then multiple explosions occurred minutes after entering the structure.
Structure: Appeared to be brick and heavy concrete along with surrounding wooden decking and outdoor seating areas. Actually, thin concrete floors supported by unprotected steel.
Rescue attempts: Valiant rescue efforts proved unsuccessful as ten civilians and one firefighter died from either a final large explosion that rocked the structure causing the floor collapse or from the initial force of the blow itself.
Response: Independent volunteer companies. Mutual Aid request on arrival and additional companies called in succession.
Communications: Radio system inadequate for current needs.
"My God, are you guys reading this? The fire was outrageous,” Donny stated.
"They were just doing their jobs and those poor people that were trapped—Katie,” Donny said, then quickly wiped the tear from his eyelash before it fell.
"I couldn't even imagine how Katie must have felt. It is amazing that more firefighters and civilians hadn't died in that mess,” Billy said.
Michael read the information in the following paragraph. The firefighters were operating with a standard approach to operational safety. There were numerous rescue attempts to save those who remained trapped in the building. Michael read further, there were a series of smaller explosions that caused the second floor to collapse first, leaving only the emergency exit staircase as a means of escape. The smoke was so thick it consumed the air most likely causing visibility issues for both the civilians and the firefighters themselves. He recalled Katie's side of the story as she experienced it. They had no idea that a madman had planned the fire and each explosion precisely. His brothers read along with Michael.
"Her boyfriend, the firefighter killed, probably sensed the movement in the floor structure, knowing that it would collapse at any time. Katie landing on the broken stairwell was a damn miracle,” Billy added.
"Bradley saved her life. To think she went through all of this..I just can't believe this,” Michael whispered.
"I know exactly how you feel. As trained firefighters, we never know what to expect when that bell rings. These guys walked into a nightmare. Katie was one of the only survivors thanks to the firefighter. I can't believe she kept all this inside and she didn't want our help,” Billy said.
"She was scared, hurt and that is Katie, always putting everyone before herself,” Donny said.
"For a whole year we didn't go to see her. We all had a feeling something was up but were too wrapped up in ourselves to see she needed us,” Michael said.
"She did a good job of keeping us away, Michael. She kept busy at the hospital she worked at, remember how everyone there spoke so highly of Katie? She submerged herself in her career and volunteer work and inside she was dying,” Donny stated then paused for a moment just thinking back to every phone conversation he had with his sister. He was a do
ctor, why hadn't he questioned her somberness and the constant excuses of why he could not visit?
"I can't believe that I couldn't see the signs, pick up on her tone of voice during the phone conversations. Every time I got that damn answering machine of hers and thought nothing of it,” he said.
"She didn't want any of us to worry. That is obvious now. I don't think we should ponder over it. She is here now and we need to make her see that she's no longer alone,” Billy added.
"I want to know more about this Redding asshole. Who the fuck is he and what else has he done?” Michael stated as he clicked onto another link.
There did not seem to be any more information online than a few newspaper articles. Michael figured either the police had given up hope of finding Redding or they were deeply involved with an investigation and were not taking any chances in leaking their progress.
* * * *
The chief sat alone in his office at the firehouse just staring at the picture on his desk. There he stood in full uniform with his arm around Lea and they were standing next to the boys. He had promised their father that he would watch over them and protect them in any way he could. He never expected to fall in love with Lea. Over the years, he had always thought his best friend was the luckiest guy around. Lea was class, gorgeous and so caring. Everyone who knew her instantly liked her.
They became close after Mack died and they helped one another heal through their conversations and expressions of sadness. They learned to rely and count on one another and that meant a lot to him.
For the past few years, William tried his hardest not to pressure Lea or to make her commit to a relationship or an intimacy she was not ready to commit to. When he confronted her and insisted that she provide some sort of logic and explanation behind not making such a commitment, it always led back to guilt. She felt guilty for falling in love again and guilty that she was in love with her dead husband's best friend.
William sighed. He loved her with all his heart and he had been so patient. Could he continue to live like this? Loving a woman behind closed doors and perhaps never being able to show the world how much he loves her? He was a strong man when it came down to the physical and fighting fires. When it came to his heart, a heart instantly stolen by Lea McKeller, he was weak.
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