It must have been a big one, as the driver smiled at them in the rearview mirror. “You got it.”
“No, Brad. I have to get home...” The point of leaving the party had been to end her time with him. Get out of this dress and back to her real life. “Besides, everything is closed on Main Street. It’s almost ten o’clock.”
“Not everything is closed. Trust me.”
She couldn’t. And worse, she couldn’t trust herself. “Should I?” she asked, her gaze locked with his in the dim lighting of the cab.
His only response was a smile.
CHAPTER TWELVE
BRAD EXTENDED A hand to Melody from within a horse-drawn sleigh at the entrance of the park on Main Street ten minutes later. “Come on,” he said. She hesitated.
“No.” She cast a glance around them. The street was quiet. As she’d said in the taxi, all the stores on Main Street had closed hours before, and now the only lights coming from the buildings were from the lit holiday displays in their windows.
“No one is around...except James here.” He nodded to the man holding the reins, who was waiting to complete the last ride of the evening. The old man had operated the local horse stables for many years, and while his kids had taken over the business, he still insisted on driving the sleigh during the holidays. At eighty-two, his eyesight was less than ideal, and Brad suspected the horses navigated the sleigh, not the driver.
Melody shivered and danced from one strappy heel to the other on the slushy sidewalk. She rubbed her arms for warmth. “This isn’t a good idea.”
“There’s a heated blanket in here,” he said.
“Okay,” Melody said finally, accepting his hand and climbing into the sleigh. Sitting across from him, she quickly draped the blanket around her and pulled it up to her neck. “That’s better.”
“Are you at least going to share it?” Brad asked, joining her on the other side and forcing her to slide over.
“Only if I have to,” Melody grumbled, lifting the edge of the blanket for him.
“You’re right. This is much better.” Brad extended an arm around her shoulders. He felt her stiffen just a little, but he didn’t move his arm. They were friends...or at least they used to be. This was another step in trying to recover some of what had been lost, and nothing more, he told himself.
Lies. All lies.
The sleigh began to move and as they drew closer to the illuminated park gates, she spoke. “So what’s it like?”
“What’s what like?”
“Being famous.” She shifted in the seat and turned to face him.
“You’re going to hate my answer.” For as long as he could remember, performing had been the only thing he’d ever wanted to do—fame and fortune had come second to his desire to be onstage. And in truth, it was lonely. He had a handful of friends in Nashville, but between touring and trying to find new songs to record, the only people he consistently had time for were music-industry professionals and his physiotherapist. He knew his answer wouldn’t be what she was expecting.
She took a deep breath. “The jealousy might kill me, but I’d like to hear about it.”
“It’s really not that great. I mean, don’t get me wrong, performing is a high like no other—as you know—but it doesn’t last long. When I’m on tour, I’m onstage for about five hours a week. The rest of the time I’m just doing a lot of work. And if I’m being totally honest, it’s also lonely.” She stared at him in disbelief.
“I know I must be coming across as a total jerk right now. Poor me and my problems.”
“A little bit. I guess I just don’t understand how it’s possible to be lonely when you have so many adoring fans.” She glanced at the scenery passing by the sleigh but could not focus on it. “Our definitions of lonely must be very different.”
“Well, at the end of the day, there’s no one waiting for me at home. My friends have moved on to have families of their own, and the distance from my family makes staying in touch a little tough. I’ve been watching Gracie and Darius grow up through Facebook photos.”
“Do you want a family of your own?” She sounded surprised.
He could understand her reaction. He’d always been content to play the field, to date a different woman in each city his band played. He was the guy who was never going to settle down—at least that’s the impression he’d given everyone around him. In truth, he’d wanted what his friends had. “Always have,” he said softly. “I probably shouldn’t say this, but I was always jealous of you and Patrick.”
Her eyes widened. “You were?”
“Of course. You two were solid. The love and support you gave each other was amazing, and to a guy like me, floating from one casual relationship to another, it was enviable.”
“But you seemed to enjoy being a player—there was no shortage of beautiful women on your arm.”
“There was never anyone special. Never anyone I wanted to make a life with. I always told Patrick he was the luckiest man on earth.”
Her mouth fell open in shock.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I just made things weird again, didn’t I?” He frowned.
“No,” she said, but her cheeks had turned crimson and she was avoiding his eyes.
Quickly, he changed the subject. “So, this job at Play Hard—it’s what you want?”
“It pays the bills. And once I retake the management exam and hopefully get a promotion, I’m planning to give up my shifts at the bowling alley and the Green Gator. Spend more time with the boys.”
He knew firsthand that retail or food-industry jobs constituted the majority of employment opportunities in the small town, and he knew she was choosing the best of the options available to her. He just wished Brookhollow could offer her better options. “And you really won’t consider writing music again?”
“The royalties from the music definitely help, but I need consistent work, Brad, and at the end of the day, there’s no time to do both. I have the boys to care for. Their dreams come first now.”
Brad leaned closer to her. “It could be consistent work. Before, when you were writing all the time, you could write a song a day.”
“Not anymore,” she said, but he caught the glimmer of hope and interest in her dark eyes before she looked away.
“Come to Nashville. Stay with me and give it a try.” He’d thought about it for all of fourteen seconds, but he knew instantly it was the right thing to suggest. In Nashville, he could introduce her to people, get her into a recording studio. Before long she would be writing music for stars and, heck, she might even get back into performing.
Unfortunately, she was staring at him as though he’d suggested she move to the moon. “Wow, that concussion was more serious than I’d thought.”
But he knew her too well to be deterred. Given a worry-and guilt-free way of taking him up on his offer, she would have jumped at the opportunity. He’d seen the way she’d looked performing that evening. She couldn’t deny that her passion for singing had never faded. “What’s holding you back?”
“Brad, haven’t you been listening to anything I’ve said? We have a life here in Brookhollow, the boys and I. We have a home...” She paused and he saw her swallow hard before continuing. “The boys love their friends and their school, their sports...”
He jumped in. “Exactly, think of the sports. The opportunities for the boys in sports alone in Nashville would be worth it. And they’d make new friends.” She couldn’t honestly believe the boys would be offered the same opportunities living in sleepy Brookhollow that they would living in a large city.
She shook her head. “The answer is no.”
“I don’t think you’re really taking the time to see the benefits, Mel.”
“Do you ever give up?”
“No, because I think it would be
a great thing for all of you.”
She shook her head.
“I understand that as a mother,” he went on, “you’re putting the boys first, their needs first, but flash forward ten years. What makes you think the boys will stay in Brookhollow? I mean, David’s natural athletic ability could take him anywhere, and Josh really does have a talent for guitar.”
She smiled.
He sensed he’d scored a point. “The boys move on with their lives, and where does that leave you? Alone in Brookhollow, a shell of a woman who used to have big ambitions and the talent to see them through, if she’d only had the courage to try.”
She stared wide-eyed at him for a long moment. Then clearing her throat, she said, “Okay, maybe you’re right. Maybe someday I’ll regret not taking a chance on a life of my own, but once you become a parent your own happiness takes a backseat to what’s right for your kids.” Her voice was firm. “Now, please just drop it, okay?”
She turned her attention to the scenery around them as the sleigh passed the colorful light displays and ice sculptures lining the path. Only the sound of the horses’ hooves on the crunchy snow and the bells jingling around their necks could be heard. White flakes continued to fall from the dark night sky onto her long eyelashes and the tip of her tiny nose. Unable to resist, he reached out and wiped one away. “Okay, but I’m just going to say that my door is always open to you and the boys...for anything at all.” His hand softly caressed her cheek.
“Thank you.”
Her hand came up to cover his. His mouth went dry. Was this the right thing? Did he care? It felt nice...wonderful, even... Reaching out with his other hand, he gently turned her to face him. He swallowed hard as her eyes met his. “You are so beautiful, Mel. Not just your incredible smile and captivating eyes, but your heart and your strength and your talent.” He lowered his forehead to hers. “And this week...seeing you again, being with the boys, just reminds me of how much I miss this...how much I miss you.” When he’d returned to Brookhollow, he’d expected heartache and guilt to be the only emotions he struggled with.
“Brad, I...” Her eyes flitted to his lips, then down to their entwined fingers on her lap above the blanket. “I shouldn’t be feeling this way. Not now, and certainly not about you.”
“Why not now? Why not about me?” He knew the answers to both, but at that moment he was choosing to ignore the voice in his head. “It’s been almost three years, Mel. It’s okay to be happy, and if I make you happy, what’s wrong with that?”
“Our history...you were Pat’s best friend, the boys’ godfather...”
“Exactly. I’ve always loved you and your children. Who knows your past better and would cherish your future more?” He wasn’t sure where the words were coming from—all he knew was that he meant each and every one of them. He loved her. He was falling in love with her. And there was only one way to find out if she felt the same. Raising her chin once more, he lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her gently, tenderly.
He pulled back slightly so his gaze locked with hers and he waited for her to move away. She didn’t.
He kissed her again. Her breath was warm against his mouth. She should have been stopping him. He should have been stopping himself. “Mel...” he murmured against her lips, begging her to do what he wasn’t strong enough to do.
Instead, she returned the kiss, her lips soft, inviting...and so off-limits. But at that moment he didn’t care. His mind raced with all the reasons he should have pulled away, but he ignored them all. Instead, he cupped the back of her head, holding her firmly in place as his heartbeat echoed loudly in his ears. He moved closer and slid his fingers down the length of her exposed neck. He felt her shiver. Sliding his arms beneath the blanket, he drew her closer, never wanting the moment to end.
* * *
BUT IT DID. Pushing against his chest, Melody broke away from him, frantically tossing the blanket aside as if the fabric were to blame for what had just happened between them. A shaky hand flew to her lips as she got to her feet. “Oh, my God.” What had she just done? Had she completely lost her mind? She wanted to slap him, but how could she? He may have started the kiss, but she’d returned it, however briefly. He’d given her every opportunity to prevent it and she hadn’t.
“Mel,” he said, a pained look on his handsome face. “Come back. Sit down.”
“You shouldn’t be standing in the sleigh,” the driver said, glancing back at them.
She shouldn’t have been doing a lot of things—dancing with Brad, riding on this sleigh and most of all kissing him. Panic made her heart race as she lowered herself onto the cold, snow-covered seat across from him, shivering outside the warmth of the heated blanket.
“Here,” he said, laying the blanket across her lap.
She had to get out of here. She looked around. They were in the middle of the park at night. She’d been crazy to go along with this. Turning to the driver, she said, “Could you turn us around, please?” Her stomach was in knots and she thought she might throw up. She’d just kissed the man responsible for her husband’s death. The man responsible for taking so much from her family.
“Sorry, Melody, the trail isn’t wide enough. The ending is about another half mile,” James said.
A half mile at this leisurely pace was too far. “Okay, stop. I’m getting out.”
The driver stopped and shook his head. “That’s not a great idea in those shoes.”
“She’s not getting out,” Brad said. “Keep going, please.” He reached for her hands on her lap.
“Don’t.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
She took slow, deep breaths in an effort to calm her frantic mind and racing pulse. She hadn’t kissed anyone in almost three years. Her last kiss had been with Patrick, next to Brad’s car in their driveway, right before the two men had headed into the city for the meeting with Propel Records. In three years, she hadn’t had any desire to date, and now here she was kissing the last man on earth she should have been kissing. Whatever was happening between them had to stop. Did he really think this was okay? Did he honestly believe something could happen between them? Her breath got caught in her throat as a thought struck her.
“Oh, my God,” she said. “This is all about that song, isn’t it?” Brad always got what he wanted, and he rarely cared about the people standing in the way of getting it. She was crazy to have thought that this kiss, this evening, had been anything more than a ploy for him to get his wish. She had once again become a means to an end, and that should have given her a sense of relief. It didn’t.
“No.”
“Then what was it?”
“I’m falling in love with you, Mel,” he said quietly.
That was much worse. “I don’t want your love. I don’t want to see you anymore, Brad. Please stay away from me and the kids.”
He forced her hands into his and held tight when she tried to pull away. “I can’t do that, and I know you don’t really want me to.”
“Nothing can happen between us, Brad. We both know that. What happened tonight can’t ever happen again. I don’t even know what it was that happened. I can’t possibly have feelings for you. Not good ones, anyway.”
“Melody.” His voice sounded pained.
“Brad, I was married to Patrick. You were his best friend. The accident happened and we both lost him, and now we can’t just pick up where we left off and forget all about him. If he were still here, this wouldn’t be happening.”
“But he’s not here.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat and attempted to pull her hands away once more.
He refused to let her go. “He’s not here...and life—”
“Goes on?” she finished, her head snapping up and her eyes blazing. How dare he? “Maybe for you, Brad. I mean, you took off as soon a
s you could and never looked back. You’re only here now to help further your career.”
“That’s not fair. I did what I had to do. The Myerses all but ran me out of town while I was still in a wheelchair and you certainly weren’t sad to see me leave. And, you know what, I miss my friend. Unlike you, I have to wake up every morning with the knowledge and guilt that I’m the reason he’s not here. I’m the reason you and the boys are suffering and struggling to make ends meet, and I’m the reason the Myerses were robbed of their only son, a man who had talent I could only ever dream of having. So if from where you’re standing it looks like I’ve moved on, well, maybe that’s because life hasn’t allowed me to stay in the past. I knew my best friend almost as well as you did, and I believe Patrick wouldn’t have expected or wanted us to.” He stopped at the sight of the tears rolling down her face. “Mel, look at me...please.”
She couldn’t. She didn’t dare look at the man who shared so much of her passion and pain, the last man on earth she should be having feelings for.
After a long, fraught silence, he released her hands. “Fine. If you truly don’t want me, I’ll leave you alone.”
“That’s all I’ve ever asked of you, Brad,” she said.
* * *
ALONE IN HIS cab minutes later—Melody had insisted on taking her own cab home—Brad rested his head against the backseat. What a mess. Not only had he experienced something amazing for one brief moment, only to have reality shatter the temporary illusion, but now he knew there was no way to convince Melody to give him and a career in music another chance. He didn’t regret kissing her. It had been the first honest moment he’d had in three years. He knew she’d felt it, too, and it was a fear of being vulnerable that had caused her to pull away, he was certain. Hell, normally it would have been reason enough for him to have pulled away. As if he didn’t have enough reasons to feel guilty or angry with himself. He ran a hand through his snow-dampened hair, and as they passed her cul-de-sac, he couldn’t stop himself from glancing toward her house, where he saw her going in the front door.
The Mistletoe Melody Page 17