by Lisa Olsen
There are times when you should respond to a crisis with dignity and a level head. This was not one of those times. The moment I got back into my room, I buried my face into the nearest throw pillow and screamed my throat raw, and then screamed some more. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get that image out of my head, Carys naked on top of Rob, Bishop standing there with that guilty look all over his face, leaving no doubt what they’d all been up to. And the nerve of her, the frakking audacity of her to invite me to join them!
I screamed again for good measure, feeling something tear in my throat, but thanks to vampire healing, it settled to a raw burn after a few seconds. I couldn’t stay there, knowing what they were up to right across the hall, not for one more instant. My fingers scrabbled at the dress zipper, kicking my way free of the beautiful gown before it reached the floor. The stupid corset strings were all tangled up and knotted though, and I ripped them apart trying to get the damn thing off.
All the jewelry, the hair pins, the make-up… I got rid of it all until I stood in the bathroom in my underwear, dry heaving over the toilet as my stomach lurched. Catching sight of myself in the mirror, I looked myself in the eye. “Looking really good, Anja. Super sexy.” Hysterical laughter bubbled out of me, I was losing it. What I needed was to get the hell out of there and fast before someone came looking for me and I had to explain what was wrong. Or even worse, Bishop or Rob showed up and I had to hear their side of the story.
Pulling on the first set of clothes I could put my hands on, I didn’t care if it was clean or dirty. I couldn’t even say what color the top was or if my socks matched. I knew I looked crazy, my eyes too wild, my hair damp and stringy around my face from scrubbing it with a washcloth. Regardless, I set off down the hall without a specific destination in mind, only knowing I had to get away. At least Bishop wasn’t still hanging out in the hallway.
The first look I got from a wandering partygoer confirmed it, I definitely did not look okay to the random passerby. I am a strong, confident vampire. I’m a strong, confident vampire… the little voice chanted supportively in my head, and the hysterical laughter bubbled up again. I had to get out of sight before somebody saw me like that, and I ducked into the room I’d come to think of as my parlor.
“Don’t see what there is to laugh about,” a voice sounded from within, and I whirled, peering in the darkened room to find Aubrey lounging on the couch, an open bottle of something in his hand. It was obvious he’d been drinking for a while, his words running together and sloppy.
Somehow seeing his misery lessened my own, and my brain took one step closer to rational conversation. “Have you been hiding out in here all night? I barely saw you at the party.”
“Wasn’t in a festive mood.”
“And here I thought you liked parties,” I smirked, plopping down beside him on the couch. Maybe it gave me the tiniest bit of a happy to see him down in the dumps.
“I adore them, but it’s a trifle hard to celebrate losing everything I’ve been working towards for the better part of a century.”
“Ha, I’ll trade you Carys problems any day,” I muttered, stealing the bottle to take a deep swig of alcohol. Bourbon, blecch, not my first choice, but I didn’t much care at the time. The fact that his plans had such a long tail was surprising to me, and I wondered what kinds of promises had been exchanged between him and Corley while Sylvius was still alive. Still, there was no point in rehashing it all now. “Look on the bright side, you’re essentially keeping the same job. You know she’s going to get bored with all the day to day stuff. I bet she won’t interfere with much once the idea of being Elder loses some of its shine.”
“I’ve had time enough to get used to her whims. Mark my words, this is an ill conceived notion.”
I took another drink, some of the hard edges of my anger starting to dull. “Are you sure you’re not just saying that because she took your cookie? The same cookie you stole from Sylvius in the first place?” At his disgruntled pout, I took pity on him. “Cheer up, Aubrey. Keep her in parties and frills and I’m sure she’ll leave the real power to you.”
“Ever the optimist,” he smiled. “Perhaps I should’ve dressed as a marionette for her to toy with.”
“Nah, I like the Spike outfit much better than Pinocchio.”
“Spike?” he snorted, his head tilting to one side. “I’m not bloody Spike. I’m Billy Idol.”
He looked so disgruntled, I couldn’t help but giggle. “Oh, sorry. He’s still pretty cool though.”
“Too right he’s cool,” Aubrey insisted, stealing the bottle back with a defiant lip curl. “Billy-fucking-Idol is the king.”
“No, I think that’s Elvis.”
“That ponce,” he chuffed. “Billy Idol could tear him a new one, easy.”
“You bet, especially because he’s not dead,” I laughed, taking the bottle back. We lapsed into a prolonged silence, passing the bottle back and forth, pretty much getting blindingly drunk.
“Did you ever…” I started to ask, but changed my mind. I didn’t want to know.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“No, what is it? I’d like to know,” he said, shifting himself higher so he could look me in the eye.
“I was wondering if Carys ever had you participate in a threesome. I mean, is that something you, she, and Bishop did all the time?”
Aubrey shot me an amused look. “You were just sitting there wondering that, were you?” he said with a sloppy grin, reaching out to poke me in the ribs, and jostling his shoulder into mine. “Feeling a bit randy this evening? Would you care for a few anecdotes to titillate?”
I slapped his hand away, careful not to spill the bottle. “No, I didn’t mean because I wanted a play by play,” I scowled. “I just wondered if that was her usual M.O., you know? She’s up there right now, with Rob and Bishop.” With Rob at least, but it was easy to imagine Bishop had gone back in there after getting a snack or Gatorade or whatever he’d ventured forth for.
“Ah, I see. And you wish to get her back by stealing two of her men? I accept,” he said, making a mess of a bow from his slouched position. “Who else shall we choose? I always did sort of fancy that boy of yours, the wolf.”
Bourbon went down the wrong pipe and I coughed and coughed until I remembered to go still and wait for the burn to subside. “No,” I croaked when the worst of it was over. “I’m not inviting you to a threesome with Tucker or anyone else.”
“Why not, sweets? They say the best way to forget someone is to dally with somebody new. You have to admit, we do have a certain amount of chemistry between us,” he said with what was meant to be bedroom eyes, I’m sure, but came off as more ridiculous with the unfocused slant of intoxication.
“Ha, in your dreams! I’ve never even thought once about going to bed with you.”
“No beds needed, luv. We can always do it here.” His hand slid up my thigh and I slapped it aside.
“No way, you’re so not my type,” I scoffed, and all of a sudden he lost the leer.
“No need to rub it in. I’m nobody’s type,” he sighed, abruptly morose as he took another drink. “Definitely not hers.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” A wave of pity washed over me at the pitiful slump of his shoulders. “You’re a good looking guy. Sexy even, just not for me.” He could have a zillion girls without even a hint of compulsion with those sculpted cheekbones and full lips that made you want to nibble on them.
He turned to face me head on, as without guile as I’d ever seen him, made honest by alcohol. “I could be. I’d be willing to change. That’s what I told her, you know. Tell me what you want me to be and I’ll be it. But it was never good enough for her either. I don’t think she ever loved me.”
“Don’t say that. I’m sure she loved you in her own way.”
His head hung in shame, fingers tearing at his bleached blonde locks. “No, I was a means to an end, a diversion. There was never tenderness or love from her, only lust an
d dominance.” Out of nowhere he started to cry and my eyes teared up in sympathy.
“Shh, don’t cry, Aubrey,” I crooned, gathering him close. “She doesn’t deserve your love, she doesn’t deserve anything but a stake through the shriveled up thing she calls a heart. We can’t let her take everything from us. We can’t let her win. We’re not dependent on Carys for our happiness.”
He snuffled against my shoulder and pulled back to look at me. “We’re not?”
“No, of course not. Let her have her way, built on an empire of lies. We deserve something better. Something real.”
Aubrey touched my cheek, and yearning mingled with regret on his face. “Why couldn’t it have been you who found me all those years ago?”
“Aw, Aubrey, I…” I wasn’t able to remind him that I hadn’t been born until twenty-two years ago as his lips covered mine in a desperate kiss. No, he wasn’t my type, and no, I didn’t want to start anything up with Aubrey, but to my bourbon soaked brain, all I knew was his pain called out to me and I responded. It wasn’t about sex, it was about two people reaching out to each other to keep the hurt and loneliness at bay.
In Aubrey’s kiss, I found the acceptance and desire that I badly needed at that moment, and I felt his hunger for the same. Most of all, what I craved was not to think for once. I wanted to forget who I was and what I’d seen, and it was impossible to think as long as he kept kissing me. Without knowing how it’d happened, his leather jacket and t-shirt ended up on the floor next to my bra and I didn’t question it, reaching for his belt.
The sound of the parlor door opening and closing didn’t penetrate the fog swirling in my brain until a deep clearing of the throat sounded, right next to the couch. Aubrey didn’t stop, but my eyes cracked open to see Lee standing there, looking down at us, his face drawn in a mask of disapproval.
“Ain’t it about time for you to be headin’ on up to bed? Your own bed?” Lee drawled, one eyebrow cocked to the heavens.
Aubrey barely gave him a second glance, his hands still busy. “Piss off,” he muttered, but I pulled back guiltily, my cheeks staining red like a teenager caught necking on my parents’ couch. Reality flooded through me in that instant as I realized the path I was on. What the hell was I doing? I did not want to hook up with Aubrey, that would only complicate things for everyone.
“He’s right, I should get some rest,” I mumbled, pushing the hair back over my ears as I tried to think straight. “I’ll be leaving first thing tomorrow.” What’d happened to my bra again?
Aubrey caught my wrist when I staggered to my feet, his eyes pleading. “Don’t go.”
“Lee, would you please wait outside for me?” I said without looking away from that stormy gaze. Lee bristled, but left, and I could hear him pacing out in the hallway. I was immediately rewarded by Aubrey’s brilliant smile as he pulled me close, but I put my hands on his shoulders, keeping a cushion of space between us.
“Come on then, you’re not going to really leave me here, are you?”
“Aubrey…” I shook my head. “I’m not the girl for you. I never was.” For half a moment I was afraid he’d challenge that and insist that we belonged together in a bout of flowery poetics, but to my relief, I saw nothing more than desire in his eyes. Desire, I could stand up to.
“I’m not professing my undying love, but don’t we deserve some happiness after all they’ve put us through?”
“This won’t make us happy, not really.”
“If you honestly believe that, you ain’t been doing it right, luv,” he grinned and I couldn’t help but smile back.
“Sure, I could send Lee on his way and we could spend an hour or two getting hot and heavy, but it wouldn’t be getting back at them. All it would do is ruin our friendship.”
Aubrey fell back against the couch in a huff. “Are we friends? I thought you despised me.”
“I despise you when you’re being an ass. I kind of like you when you’re being yourself,” I said with an indulgent smile and he cocked a brow at me.
“Who says the ass isn’t my true self?”
“Because I think we were both ourselves tonight, weren’t we?” I reached out to touch his cheek. “Hang in there, okay? Your happiness doesn’t revolve around Carys if you don’t let it.”
He squeezed my hand for a long moment before his trademark wolfish grin appeared. “I’d be glad to let it revolve around you for a decade or two.”
“I think it’s for the best if I steer clear of all men for a decade or two.” Maybe longer. At least until I got both Rob and Bishop out of my system. I leaned down to kiss him on the cheek. “Goodnight, Aubrey.”
“Goodnight, sweets. And for what it’s worth, I think they’re both insane for picking her over you.”
I wasn’t sure if he knew about her compulsion or not, but it seemed like a dangerous subject to bring up, so I let it go. “Thanks.”
Lee was waiting for me outside of the parlor and fell into step beside me for an awkward walk through the hallway and up the stairs. At least he’d come in when he had, five minutes later and he might’ve gotten quite an eye full. Neither one of us talked until we reached my bedroom, and I tensed, half expecting to hear more amorous noises coming from Bishop’s bedroom, but all was quiet.
“You can be mad at me all you want,” Lee started to say. “And I know it ain’t none of my business who you settle your charms on, but…”
I leaned up on my tiptoes and kissed him on the raspy cheek. “Thanks, Lee. You’re always looking out for me.”
“You bet, darlin’,” he smiled, relieved. “You wanna tell me what’s got you so rattled? I listen pretty good for an old fella.”
“No thanks,” I sighed, not wanting to broadcast my shame over Carys’ behavior or mine. “I’m just glad you got there when you did before things got too far out of control. How did you even know I was in the parlor?”
“Bishop came lookin’ for me, said you was upset and shouldn’t be alone. Wasn’t too hard to track you down after that.”
“Bishop came to find you?” I blinked. “But he didn’t tell you why I was upset, did he?”
“Naw, and I didn’t ask. Ain’t none of my business unless you want it to be.”
“Thanks, Lee. I think all I need now is some sleep and a gallon of water to chase this fuzzy head away.”
“I’ll say goodnight then,” he nodded, tipping his hat to me. “Give me a holler if you change your mind and want to talk.”
I almost took him up on it. I did want to talk, but somehow it felt weird to be talking about my love life with Lee. Not that we weren’t close, but it was a different kind of a relationship, almost like the dad I’d always wanted but my own father was too reserved to be. Maggie would be a good person to talk to, but noting the hour, I didn’t want to bother her. If she was still up and around, she was sure to be having a good time with Tucker and she deserved that.
Of course, it was much earlier back in the States. I fired up the laptop, half expecting Carter to be out hunting, but he took my Skype call a few seconds later. He looked the same as he always did, and I craved that normalcy, that constant in my life.
“Hey, I didn’t expect to hear from you tonight. I thought you had that big ritzy party to go to. What are you supposed to be dressed as, a wraith? You look like shit,” he smirked.
“Thanks.” I couldn’t manage a snappy comeback, my head was still too foggy with alcohol and misery. His expression changed when I didn’t insult him back though, a deep furrow appearing on his brow.
“Shit, what happened? Say the word and I’ll come and get you. I’ll stake that bitch, I don’t even need a reason.”
“Oh, I have a reason, I have plenty of reasons.” It all came spilling out, Carys’ compulsion and Rob’s betrayal. I couldn’t really blame Bishop, he’d been up front with me about choosing to be with Carys after all. Not that I blamed Rob either, but damn it, I was tired of being the one who wound up with the broken heart for all of these crazy shenanigans beyo
nd his control!
Carter listened to it all without offering advice or commiserating the way a girlfriend would. Instead, when I was done, he simply said. “Fuck him. Just forget all that bullshit and come home where you belong.”
“I know, I will. I am. Just not tonight.”
“When then?” he pressed.
“Tomorrow, I’ll leave tomorrow night.”
He was silent for a couple of seconds and then his head cocked to one side, watching me carefully. “Promise me you won’t go trying to fix this.”
“I don’t see how I possibly could fix any of this.”
“I know you, Anja. You’re going to sit there and stew over this and decide it’s not his fault for treating you like shit, and you’re going to try to save him or some crap. It won’t work. Just leave it all behind and move on.”
“It’s not his fault she compelled him,” I allowed, and he blew his top.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Anja! Would you listen to yourself? Maybe it’s not his fault, but it’s still a fucked up situation and you need to steer clear of it. Promise me you will.”
It might be messed up, but I couldn’t make that promise. “I can’t just leave Rob to her clutches. I mean, don’t I have some rights as his Sire? Or not even as his Sire, but I claimed him. Doesn’t that count for something?”
“Don’t even think about it. She’s over seven hundred and fifty years old. You may be a badass, but you can’t take her on by yourself.”
Maybe so, but she’d never had to fight for a single thing in her life. Everyone always catered to her wishes, first because of her beauty and status, and later because of her compulsion. I was willing to bet she’d have no idea what to do in a physical fight and I could use that to my advantage. A plan started to form in the back of my mind, a slow plan thanks to the bourbon, but a plan nonetheless.
Pulling my hair up at the temples, I started to braid it back for battle. “There’s always a use for skill and finesse over age and brawn, isn’t that what you’re always saying?”
“Yeah, over the common vamp on the street, even some of the big bads. But going up against her is suicide. He’s not worth it.”