Finally he looked at his reflection, then down at his knuckles. Lashing out at Tyler... his shoulders seemed less tense, he was no longer eaten up inside by grief about Lizzie’s senseless loss. He blinked and let the remnants of that night long ago, searching with Tyler and finding her lying blue and stiff in the snow…disappear down the drain with the last vestiges of blood.
It was time to put the past behind him and move on with his life. To stop making the same mistakes. Emily accused him of dating ‘wildcats’ and he did. He was protecting himself. He knew he could never love a woman like that. Love hurt and he hated how Lizzie had made him feel—he loved her and hated her at the same time.
The next woman he’d give his heart to would be little Susie homemaker, a woman who wanted to settle down, a woman who put family first, a woman his sister could be friends with.
*****
Emily couldn’t sleep, so she tried to work, but her concentration was completely off. She didn’t need this. Her client was counting on her to finish editing the book so it could be sent off to the publisher. Getting out of bed, she wandered over to Hayley’s room to check on her. Hayley slept soundly, her face slack in slumber. Emily went downstairs and opened the fridge. She grabbed a bottle of half-drunk red wine and poured half a glass.
It had been two weeks since her and Tyler’s relationship had ended. Fifteen miserable days, during which neither one of them had gotten much sleep. Their hearts might be broken, but that didn’t stop their bodies from wanting each other. They were back to the air crackling around them with sexual tension. She’d been functioning in a half-aroused state most of the time and it was driving her crazy.
But more than that, she missed Tyler. The Tyler she’d been with since the beginning of September, not the man who’d threatened to blackmail her. She missed laughing with him, talking to him about their day, or just watching TV snuggled up together on the couch.
They hadn’t had much of a chance to go out on dates since Hayley had been hurt, but Emily didn’t care. Once Hayley was fully recovered, they could do all of those things, but she’d been perfectly content just being with him. She didn’t need expensive dinners or huge gestures. All of the intimacy they’d shared meant more to her than any of those things.
A couple of days after their breakup, Tyler had come home from a business trip with a black eye and he had some other bruises on his stomach. When she’d asked him about it, he’d said that he and a guy in a bar had gotten into a fight, but that it wasn’t anything to worry about.
Sighing, she left the kitchen. She’d just gotten back upstairs when her cellphone rang. “Hey, Brooke. What’s up?”
“I think your man lost his mind.”
“Tyler? What are you talking about?” Emily took a sip of wine.
“Well, GQ called me and asked if I would go over to your place and stay overnight with Hayley. He said that he wants you to meet him out at the Bluff. He was dead serious, too. We argued and he finally offered to pay me five hundred bucks. So, guess who’s coming over as we speak?” Brooke said.
Emily shook her head a little. “He’s paying you five hundred to stay with Hayley tonight and I’m supposed to meet him at the Bluff? Was he drunk?”
“Nope. Sober as a judge.”
“This doesn’t make any sense. I’m not going out there.”
“Well, you can go or not go, but I’m still staying at your house to get that money. He didn’t say that me getting paid depended on whether or not you met up with him. But aren’t you a little bit curious?” Brooke asked.
Emily was, but she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of getting her to do what he wanted. “Yeah, but it’s late and all.”
“Okay. Well, I’ll be there soon. Talk to you then.”
Emily sat her phone down and sighed. “Damn you, Tyler.” She stomped over to the closet and pulled out an oversized sweatshirt with a snowman on it. Then she grabbed a pair of sweatpants from the dresser. She put the clothes on over her T-shirt and shorts, ran a brush through her hair, and put it up in a ponytail.
“That’s as good as it gets,” she muttered.
After checking on Hayley one more time, she went downstairs and out to her car. She started it to let it warm up and went back into the house. It wasn’t long until Brooke pulled into the driveway in her beat-up Nissan. Emily grabbed her purse and coat as Brooke came into the kitchen.
“Your babysitter has arrived.” Brooke took off her coat. “I see that you’ve decided to go.”
Emily forced a smile. “He gets impulsive like this sometimes.”
Brooke gave her a teasing smile. “Maybe he has romance on his mind. I expect a full report.”
Emily laughed and hugged her. “I’ll do that. Thanks for doing this.”
“No sweat. See you in the morning,” Brooke said.
Putting on a happy face, Emily bid Brooke goodnight and went out to her car. As she slid behind the wheel, she muttered, “What the hell are you up to, Tyler?”
Chapter Nineteen
Tyler had the heater in the Beast cranking as he waited for Emily on the Bluff. It was a favorite lovers’ spot, a beautiful place that overlooked Cooper’s Creek. Would she come? His nerves were stretched to the max, his chest tight with anxiety. He was taking a huge risk, but he was willing to put his heart on the line.
Headlights cut through the black night and his pulse rate rose a notch as the car slowed and pulled in beside his car. It was her. His heart thundered as he cut the engine and got out. He sucked in a deep breath and then walked around to her driver’s side door.
When she got out, he smiled at her. “Thanks for coming.”
“What kind of game are you playing, Tyler?” she said.
“No game and there won’t be any more games. Come with me.” He held out his hand to her. “Please?”
Slowly, she put her hand in his. “I don’t understand what’s going on here.”
Tyler tugged on her hand and led her over closer to the edge where the bluff dropped off, but stopped a safe distance away. “I’ll make things clear. A couple of weeks ago, I went to New York to talk to Ric. I told him everything, how I hurt you five years ago, about Simon and the asinine, terrible way I screwed up with you again.”
Wide-eyed, Emily asked, “You did? What happened? What did he say?”
Tyler smiled wryly. “Actually, he let his fists do the talking.”
Emily put a hand to her mouth. “He’s the one who gave you a black eye?”
“Yeah. I deserved every punch, too. I know that,” Tyler answered. “He’s pissed as hell at me and I don’t blame him. I asked for his forgiveness, but I don’t know if he’ll give it or not.”
“I’m not sure whether what you did was brave or stupid.” She shook her head. “Some of both I guess. So that’s why he’s been calling me every day. He’s worried about me.”
Tyler squeezed her hand. “Emily, I don’t like the man I’ve become. Being cold, calculating, and ruthless in business is one thing, but somehow I let that part of my personality bleed over into my personal life and I hate it. You know me, the real me. The guy you fell in love with five years ago.
“When Lizzie died, I locked that man up. I put him in chains and slammed the cell door shut. It took Mom’s death to make me open it a crack. And then I was suddenly responsible for this adorable little girl and I was scared shitless. I didn’t know the first thing about raising kids, but she got to me. You know?”
Emily smiled. “I know. I felt an instant connection to her when she was born. It was the most wonderful experience, sharing her birth with Lizzie.”
“She was such a pretty baby,” Tyler said. “She started thawing my heart when she came to live with me. I started to care again. Truly care. And then I came up with that crazy plan to move in with you and raise Hayley together. I’ve never stopped loving you, Emily, and I know that I never will. I’ve really looked into my heart lately and I’ve come to understand some things about myself.”
“Such as?”
“The real reason that I concocted the idea to move in together was because I was secretly hoping that we would get back together and that we could be a family. That man who I’d locked in that cell was screaming to get out and I was starting to listen to him.” Tyler took her other hand, too, happy when she didn’t pull away.
“And then we got back together and I’ve been so happy since then. Your love set that guy completely free and I was turning back into the old me. The man who tries so hard to be kind, caring, and supportive. A man nothing like my father, who only cared for himself. The sort of man who provided for and protected his family.”
“Tyler, I—”
“Please, just let me finish.” He said it softly. “It might be cliché, but I wanted to be a better man for you and Hayley. You both deserve to be happy and I wanted to give that to you. I still do.”
“I can’t do this.” Emily tried to pull her hands away, but he wouldn’t release her.
“Emily, I know how badly I hurt you, the kind of pain I caused you and I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make up for it. I love you so much and I know you still love me. I want to be with you, to wake up with you every morning and make love with you every night,” Tyler rushed on.
“I told Ric everything because I didn’t want to be a coward and hide secrets anymore. I wanted to own up to my mistakes. I wanted to get it all out in the open. I don’t want you to be with me because we’re blackmailing each other. I want you to be with me because you love me. That’s all I want, is just for us to love each other. I’m ready to fully commit to you, to us, and to truly be a family.” He knelt on one knee and withdrew a ring box from his coat pocket. “Emily Elaine Stanford, will you do me the incredible honor of becoming my wife so I can spend each day making you as happy as I possibly can?”
*****
Emily gasped as she looked at the ring and then into his eyes. The headlights from the Beast illuminated the love and hope in them. Although her heart swelled with love and shouted at her to accept his proposal, her fear overrode it. The ring was lovely and she’d love to have worn it, but she couldn’t take the chance on him breaking her heart again.
Shaking her head, she stepped back from him. “No, Tyler. I won’t marry you.”
He rose, his eyes filling with confusion. “Why?”
“All my life I’ve wanted a family of my own. Hayley and you, I thought we were the start of the happy family I’ve missed growing up. My mother died when I was Hayley’s age, I barely remember her. And my father fell into the bottle. I only had Ric until your mother basically adopted me and Lizzie became like a sister to me. Your family, you and I, are the most important things in my life, and then with one cross word you threatened to take that all away.
“What happens the next time I do something you don’t like? Will you kick me out? Sue me? I can’t be legally bound to you and live every day with the fear that you’ll divorce me over something concerning Hayley. You might be her uncle by blood, but I’m her aunt in every way that counts and I’ve been there for her from the beginning,” Emily said.
“And for you to accuse me of letting her get hurt in any way, or to say that I don’t know what’s best for her cut me to the quick. Who’s been taking care of her while you work? Me. I make sure she’s getting everything she needs. Me. I love that little girl like she’s my own and so when you threatened to cut me out of her life you broke my heart and hurt me more than words can say.
So no, I won’t marry you.”
She couldn’t stay there. She had to get away from him, away from the situation. She hurried to her car, got in, and started it up even though Tyler called to her. Throwing the car in gear, she turned around and sped away.
*****
All the way home, Emily cried. She hoped that Brooke was asleep so that she didn’t have to try to explain why her face was red and puffy. If Tyler had proposed to her a few weeks ago, she’d have said yes without hesitation, but now?
She pounded a fist against the steering wheel as her heart squeezed, her traitorous heart that wanted him even though he’d torn it to shreds again. When she arrived home and parked the car, she turned it off and sat in the silence for a little, getting herself under control.
When she felt calmer, she entered the house and made her way as silently as possible upstairs. She was immensely relieved when she made it to her room without being detected. Undressing, she worked on shoving her hurt down deep. She was determined to not wallow in it. She had better things to do, like working and taking care of Hayley.
Lying in bed, she was fairly successful in keeping her agony at bay by mentally going over everything she needed to accomplish the next day. After a couple of hours, she was fairly certain that Tyler wasn’t going to come home that night and she was glad. She wasn’t ready to face him yet. Finally, she fell into a fitful sleep, filled with both happy and horrible images of her life with Tyler.
*****
Tyler didn’t go home until the next night. He’d stayed in Denver, unable to face Emily after she’d turned him down. His heart was crushed, but he had no one to blame but himself. It was his fault that Emily didn’t trust him or respect him anymore.
At work, he was distracted and withdrawn, barely going through the motions and only taking care of the most urgent business. It was completely out of character for him, and Drew had kindly asked if he was ill.
Tyler had replied. “Yes, Drew, I am ill. I’m heartsick, but I don’t want to talk about it.”
Drew had respectfully withdrawn from Tyler’s office, leaving him to stew in his misery. He left Denver around five and arrived home a round six-thirty. When he entered the dining room, Simon sat at the dinner table with Hayley and Emily. Stunned, he could only stare at Simon.
He’d known that he would be coming to see Hayley, but it was the first time that he’d seen him.
“Look, Uncle Tyler! Simon is having supper with us,” Hayley said, smiling.
Tyler plastered a small smile on his face as he locked gazes with Simon. “I see that, honey. How nice.”
Hayley didn’t catch the heavy sarcasm in his voice. “Yeah. He sails on a big ship and catches bad guys.”
“Does he now? That’s exciting.”
Emily said, “Why don’t you get washed up and sit down to supper, Tyler?”
Tyler nodded and left the dining room. He needed a drink. Ripping open the refrigerator door, he located a beer. He twisted off the top and hurled it into the trashcan. He’d just guzzled about half of it when Simon came into the kitchen.
“You’ve got balls. I’ll give you that,” Tyler said. “What’s your game? Are you trying to get Hayley back? I’ll fight you every step of the way. I’ll bury you, if you try.”
Simon said, “I don’t want custody of Hayley. I don’t have any way of taking care of her. I’m sure Emily explained my situation to you. Hayley is better here with you and Emily.”
Tyler drank more beer. “I don’t believe you. You’re a habitual liar. I want you out of my house and out of Hayley’s life.”
Simon moved closer. His expression was determined, the kind that told you he meant business. “That’s not going to happen. She’s my daughter and I want to see her when I’m home and keep in touch with her when I’m not. I understand why you’re suspicious, but I’m willing to prove that I mean what I say.”
Tyler’s mouth twisted in a cruel smile. “And just how do you propose to do that?”
“I want custody papers drawn up. You and Emily would have full custody of Hayley with the provision that I’m allowed to see her and sometimes have her when I’m on leave. I also want to pay child support. I know you don’t need it, but it’s the principle of the matter. She’s my daughter and I should provide for her,” Simon said. “I want everything in writing so that we’re all bound to the agreement. I have to live up to my end of the bargain as much as you do.”
Simon’s statements surprised Tyler. “You’d really do that?”
“Yeah. You have the papers drawn up and I’ll have my lawyer look at them,” Simon said. “I love Hayley so much and I know that this is what’s best for her. I have to think of her first. It’s the right thing to do.”
As he looked Simon over, Tyler saw what Emily was talking about. Simon looked different and he certainly seemed to have changed. However, he wasn’t nearly ready to trust Simon.
“I’ll call my lawyer tomorrow.”
“Good.” Simon went back to the dining room.
Tyler finished his beer and grabbed another one to drink with supper. Exerting tremendous control, he made it through the meal without making snide remarks to Simon or punching his lights out. It was for Hayley’s sake that he played nice.
Simon told funny stories from when he’d been in boot camp and answered Hayley’s questions about what he did. Every day she seemed to get a little better and it was good to see her smiling and to hear her giggles.
She’s my little girl. Not his. I went to see her off on the first day of school. I did the Father/Daughter bake sale with her. I’ve been here, helping to make sure she gets better. He looked over at Emily. And so has she. God, she’s beautiful and I’m such an ass. I’m not ready to give up. She turned me down, but damn it, I’m still going to fight. I’m going to show her that I’m worthy of her love.
When dinner was over, he watched Simon hug and kiss Hayley goodbye. Simon was why Lizzie wasn’t having dinner with her daughter and why Hayley didn’t have a mother. Intense anger and jealousy threatened to choke him and he thought his teeth would crack from clenching them so hard. With great relief, he walked Simon out, telling him again that he would call his lawyer in the morning to start the custody paperwork.
The kitchen was thick with tension as he and Emily cleaned up. They barely spoke, but every time their bodies or hands brushed together, their awareness increased. By the time they went to bed, Tyler was on fire for Emily and he knew that she felt the same way. Sensed it in her. Practically smelled it.
Love Me (Coopers Creek Book 1) Page 16