by Soraya Naomi
“No—”
“I said go home,” I repeat in an icy tone, warning her not to push me any further.
Her lips thin into a hard line before she storms out.
Then my rage is targeted at Luca, who tries to defuse the situation.
“Adriano, you’re blowing this out of proportion. If I had done this with any other Capo, would you have taken him out of rank as well? I was there, and I would never let anything happen to Cam.”
“It’s the fucking fact that she even convinced you to get involved that has me worried,” I tell him. “What were you thinking?”
“I wanted to help you. You’re swamped with business, and I recognized the opportunity that Cam saw too.”
I’m positively vibrating with anger, and I can’t even determine where it’s coming from. Cam is clouding my judgment.
I say the one thing I’ve never said to Luca, “I’m disappointed in you, my underboss. How can I still blindly trust you?”
Luca appears stricken, as if I’ve punched him in the gut. “When you’re calm, we’ll talk. You know you can always trust me.”
“I’m not so sure anymore. You’re dismissed too, Luca.”
His eyes turn to slits, but without another word, he walks out.
For the first time since becoming a Capo crimine, I’m alone and I feel lonely. Usually, I talk to Luca when I’m this stressed. Or Cam. But those two are now the root of my displeasure. I fish my pack of smokes from my pocket and pull out a cig with my teeth. Flicking open my gold lighter, I inhale deeply, letting the smoke burn down my lungs. And I sit down behind my desk, with my elbow on the armrest of my chair, rotating the lighter in one hand. As flashes of Cam and Santino fly across my mind, I take the cig between my thumb and finger. Then I fist the lighter and hurl it across the room to clank loudly against the wall.
“Motherfucker!”
Why am I so mad? I can’t put my finger on it. Of course, I hate that she didn’t listen. But I loathe the fact that her scheme involved another man even more. Her little indiscretion with Damian has been forgiven but not forgotten. And I know Cam. She’s pushing me because she’s disgruntled about Serena.
I’m so fucking tired.
A knock on the door interrupts my inner rant.
“Yes.”
Serena appears, asking, “Everything okay? We heard a bang or something.” She spots the lighter on the floor and bends down to pick it up as she moves to stand in front of my desk.
“I’m a little on edge, but you already knew that,” I state, taking another draw of my cig. “What do you need?”
“I have some more papers to be signed so that two new girls can start this weekend, and I can’t find Tez or Luca.” She tosses the lighter to me, and I catch it in the air.
Raking my hair back with one hand, I release a loaded sigh. “Then take care of it tomorrow, Serena.”
She tilts her head to the side. “You sure you’re okay?”
“No,” I confess, stubbing the cig out.
“So, she’s your girlfriend?”
This is the first time Serena has ever asked anything personal. At this point, denying is useless because she’s seen too much, so I nod. Silence builds, reinforcing my sentiment that Serena has no interest in me whatsoever beyond the club.
She doesn’t pry, and I have no one else to talk to, so I blurt, “It’s impossible to work with the one you love in the mafia.”
“It is. I’ve been there.”
As I stare at the floor, rage has made way for something else. Indecision. Most of the time, I have a solution for every situation. But right now, I’m torn. If I take away Cam’s rank, I’ll damage our personal relationship forever. If I keep her as a Capo, our personal relationship won’t suffer, but she and I will have to communicate better. I’m leaning toward the latter since I always want her to feel empowered. Sharply, a twinge of guilt stabs me because I realize that I stripped her rank in anger. A dismissal in the mafia means that you’ve lost your rank until you’ve been reinstated. And knowing Cam, it’s made her feel vulnerable.
After checking the time, I get up. “I’m going.”
I need to be at my parents’ for our weekly Friday family dinner, which I’ve missed often since I became boss, and that also coincides with when Cam became my official girlfriend, so my mother believes it’s Cam’s fault that I’m pulling away from my family. And according to my mother, Cam’s dragging Carmine with me. It’s caused some friction between Cam and my mother. But I promised my parents that Carmine and I would be there tonight.
“Can you drop me off at my club?” Serena asks.
“Sure, if you’re ready to leave now.”
“I am.”
She precedes the way to my silver metallic convertible, and in silence, we drive toward the Astoria Tower.
I text my mother that I’m running fifteen minutes late before she contacts me to ask where I am, but she calls in the middle of my text, so I answer on speakerphone, “Mom?”
“Oh, how is she?” Serena comments kindly.
“Hello? Who’s that, Adriano? Are you coming tonight?”
“I’m on my way,” I reply. “And it’s Serena.”
“Serena Bartoli? How is she? Where did you run into her?” My mother fires all these questions at me.
“Hi, Sophia,” Serena says.
“Hi, Serena. How have you been?”
“Great! And you?”
“Very good, dear.”
“She’s a business partner at the club. I’m dropping her off at her place, which is near the Astoria,” I answer my mother’s earlier question as I brake at the intersection.
“Is she coming with you?” my mom asks all of a sudden, catching me off guard. “Serena, you should come by and at least have a cup of coffee if you’re passing here anyway.”
I frown, and Serena tries to get out of it, but my mother doesn’t get the hint. It’s that Italian hospitality shining through. Everyone’s welcome.
“She’s relentless,” I mouth.
“Fine, one cappuccino, Sophia. Then I have to go home,” Serena decides, and I jerk the steering wheel to the left toward the Astoria.
After parking in the lot, we take the elevator to the floor where my parents live.
With my key, I open the door and go into the living room where both my parents and Carmine are sitting on the sofa. I give my mother, who actually looks good today, a kiss on the cheek. Having lupus, she’s usually exhausted.
“You look tired, son.” She presses her hand against my cheek.
“I am tired, Mom.”
Then Serena greets my parents, and they chatter about the past.
I sit down, feeling even more empty with every second that I’m at odds with Cam. And as I sit here, I realize that it wasn’t the smartest idea to bring Serena here while Cam and I are fighting. I’m surrounded by my family, but Cam’s alone in our loft. Anger that turned into guilt now turns into pure shame. Only with Cam do I ever feel anything remotely resembling guilt. I acted out in jealousy and fear of losing her, but in the meantime, she’s drifting away. Minutes tick by, and my aggravation subsides while I’m with my family. But in its place, sorrow builds. Regret about how my jealousy might have overridden my reasoning.
Determined to make amends, I ask Carmine if he can take Serena to her club, and he agrees.
With a hurried goodbye, I head to the top floor. To Cam, hoping to repair the cracks in our relationship.
CHAPTER 10
Camilla
“He did what?!” Fallon asks, closing the book in her lap as she sits Indian style on the sofa in her luxurious penthouse apartment that’s located twenty minutes from my loft.
I fling my purse onto the coffee table and plop down onto her couch. Weighing the issue during the journey from the club to Fallon’s has only managed to strengthen my indignation. “I was ordered to leave, and I don’t know where we stand. Adriano’s talking to Luca now.”
“I can’t believe Luca helped you when
Adriano told you to stay away from Santino,” Fallon notes.
“Well, Luca shared similar concerns regarding the circumstances surrounding Santino.”
“I’ve heard Luca mention that Adriano’s very busy lately.” She takes her tea mug from the table.
“I get that, but to shut me out like that?”
“You did defy boss’s orders. I’m not a member, but even I know that’s punishable by death for any other soldier or Capo, Cam.”
Fallon’s been prying more and more into Syndicate business, and I can tell that she’s beginning to resent that she’s always on the outside.
I blow out a frustrated sigh. “He’s so busy with that sex club and Serena—”
“Ah, that’s what this is about?” She lifts a brow.
“No, not really, Well, I do think she’s after him. And that she’s very conniving.”
“Okay, but it’s not like he’s cheating. Cut him some slack. He has a million people wanting something from him, and he’s working so hard for you, Cam. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. I also fought Luca at first, and I regretted it. You have to realize that fighting him won’t work. You know how to influence him. Your resentment is just hindering you.”
“It’s difficult to be a Capo and his girlfriend.”
“I can imagine it is, but it’s the choice you made. Don’t let others, Santino or Serena, ruin what you have with him.” Fallon takes a sip of her tea.
“You’re right. And really, I’m not worried about her at all. I just don’t trust her,” I repeat, resting back against the couch.
“Then don’t. Keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn’t swoop in while you and he are arguing. Instead, keep any suspicions you have about her to yourself until you have evidence, because Luca has also mentioned that your jealousy might be interfering with your judgment. What’s most important is for you to be what Adriano needs. And what he needs is for the woman he loves to support him, wholeheartedly. It’s the same with Luca. You’re a member, so you know even better than I do how precarious their lives are. Trust me, there are often situations where I want to smack Luca because of his domineering persona, but it comes from a good place. Adriano’s just like Luca in that regard. You both need to learn to compromise.”
Our heads turn in unison when the elevator swooshes open, and we see that Luca’s returned home.
“What did Adriano say to you?” I ask.
He sends me a disappointed look and shrugs out of his charcoal suit jacket, throwing it onto the kitchen island. “He dismissed me too.” Then he walks over to Fallon and cradles the back of her head to press a tender kiss to her lips. “Hey.”
“Hey. What’s going on with Adriano?” she probes for me.
Luca sits down next to Fallon and stretches his arm along the back of the couch behind her.
“What else did he say?” I’m too impatient.
“Not much. He was still furious. Cam, do you know what dismissed means?”
Confused, I say, “What?”
“Dismissed in the Syndicate means that we’ve been stripped of our rank.”
“What?! Wait, so he fired us both?”
“No, he didn’t fire us. That’s not how this works. He took away our rank, so we can’t work until he reinstates us or decides otherwise.”
Fallon’s mouth is practically hanging open. “So you’re not his underboss anymore?”
“Not at this moment,” Luca replies.
“Why are you so composed?” I wonder aloud.
“Because Adriano’s being led by his rage. He’ll call me when he’s calmed down. But this will never happen again, Cam. I do understand his anger.”
“See, he did say more to you. You’re already back in his corner.”
Luca discounts my comment. “Go home. Before he gets there to find you gone.”
I bite my lip. “You’re right. Hopefully, he’s calmed a bit.”
“Compromise, Cam,” Fallon advises right before I leave.
***
I slide my key into the lock and come home to an empty apartment.
Trudging up the stairs, I climb into bed after removing my clothes and changing into Adriano’s dress shirt, wondering how to handle him without alienating him any further. Thankfully, it only takes half an hour before I’m not alone anymore.
I roll over to face Adriano as Fallon’s words ring in my head that I need to influence him. So I’ll apologize, because someone needs to take the first step in compromising. As long as he revokes my dismissal and can be reasonable, I can forgive him.
The mattress dips as Adriano sits on the edge, resting his hand on the curve of my hip.
Tentatively, I rub his beard and soften when I’m confronted with his weary face. Worn out, yet still as striking as ever.
“I’m sorry,” I start.
And for the first time ever, he actually apologizes. “I’m sorry too.”
“Have you calmed down?”
He nods once. “I’m not taking your rank, Cam.”
“Thank you. Did you talk to Luca?”
“I’ll talk to him tomorrow.” Adriano removes the shirt from my shoulder, exposing me. “You need to learn to follow orders better, and I’ll try to keep you updated more and listen to your suggestions.”
“I’ll do better too. Explain to me why you were so livid, Adriano?”
“Santino rubs me the wrong way. And I hate seeing other men around you, especially him. I resent the guilt you feel toward him.”
“Jealousy, I can understand.” I trace my knuckles down his face after releasing my arms from the shirt I was wearing.
His gaze snaps to me, and he understands I’m referring to Serena, who I still think arranged it so that Adriano saw me on camera with Santino, but I heed Fallon’s advice and keep my mouth shut until I have evidence. Neither she nor Santino is worth this rift between us.
“I need you to trust me. I know what I’m doing.” His tone is uncertain, unlike his normal authoritative one.
“I trust you.” Needing to feel close to him again, I sit up, naked, and start unbuttoning his shirt.
Intimacy that’s escaped our grasp the last few weeks returns as we stare into each other’s eyes. Nothing has changed regarding our feelings. If anything, they’ve deepened, and we’re just trying to find our path through this labyrinth of emotions that love activates.
Adriano’s fingers trace over the contours of my face. “I need you to truly get how much I love you, because we live in a dangerous world.”
“I realize that, Adriano. After my own annoyance faded, I could see your side. Stop pushing me away and wanting to keep me protected. I’m all in, and we need to move forward, as long as you always promise to come home to me – always. I felt so alone waiting here for you.”
I discard his shirt. Then I run my nails down his chest and abs and unbuckle his belt, gliding my hand inside his pants.
Adriano groans and holds the back of my head, pulling me forward in a rough kiss while I cup his balls and feel him stiffening within seconds.
“I need you, Cam.”
“I’m always here. I’ll learn to follow orders. I’ve already proven that I can follow them in the bedroom,” I whisper against his lips.
“Well, even in the bedroom, you disobey me because you love it when I spank you. However, I like it when you defy me in the bedroom. But only in the bedroom, Cam.” He grabs my ass and easily moves me to sit astride him.
Grinding in his lap, I wind my fingers into his hair as he rubs his cock along my pussy. I moan as passion flares to life, and his hands roam down my spine while I arch in his embrace. Adriano pulls back, breathing raggedly and captures my wrists in one hand behind my back. But he holds me easily, so I don’t fall back.
“I can smell you, Cam.” He caresses my center, lingering just enough to tease me.
I round my hips while Adriano forcefully slips two fingers inside, sending hot sparks down my legs.
“Look at me, sweetheart,” he growls.
I comply and meet Adriano’s lusty gaze when he places his finger in his mouth and sucks on it. Then he pulls me forward again and nudges the head of his erection against my core. I sink down onto him, causing me to whimper from the exquisite pleasure.
He lets go of my wrists, and my arms wind around his neck when I’m fully sheathed on him. Nose-to-nose, we move slowly, a cherished moment that burns with yearning. No rough fucking yet, he makes love to me gently, giving me what I need as well. Intimacy. Feeling connected with him again on a level only he and I share.
His hands massage my ass cheeks as he guides me up and down his shaft. With a low groan, he sucks on my nipple, which causes a jolt of desire to streak through my body. And then we lose control. His hand sneaks up my side, and he palms my throat. It’s a move he always does in anger or passion.
“Ride me, Cam,” he orders, lying back on the bed, cupping my breast. “I want to watch you.”
I place my palms on his chest, feeling that I’m going to come so hard and keeping his cock buried deep inside while his eyes don’t leave me for a second. Irrepressibly, I whimper as my nails dig into his pecs and his hips make circles.
“Oh god, you feel so good wrapped around me.” Adriano grips my hips and pushes up, furiously fucking me from the bottom.
Bowing my back, I throw my head back and climax in one magnificent outburst. Shuddering, I clamp my thighs against his while circling my center against him.
Adriano lets out another low groan, and he sits up, grinding my hips on his and biting my nipple as he spends himself inside me. It’s the obsessive lovemaking that we require to fill our urges. To pacify our need for one another.
He murmurs, “Ti amo, sempre.” I love you, always.
“Ti amo.” I love you.
Depleted, we collapse back on the bed, Adriano still in his half unbuttoned slacks and shoes. He takes them off as I hold up the sheets to invite him into bed, and he entwines our legs so that every inch of our bare skin is touching.
I fall asleep naked in his arms. The only place where the rest of the world can’t touch us and we’re peaceful. Our bond is unbreakable. Never-ending.