She thought for a moment. “I put them together by concentrating on the patterns themselves, most of the time I redraw them the way I want. There’s no pulling and no Flow involved, I don’t believe. Why do you ask?”
Ignoring her question, Kara Laurel met Leven’s eyes. After exchanging a long look, the reddish, brown-haired woman fixed her startling green eyes on her again. “Have you had ailments after Using, such as nausea, vomiting, or acute weakness? Perhaps nosebleeds?” she asked intently.
“I seem to be acquiring nosebleeds. How did you know?”
Kara Laurel’s eyes widened slightly. “How severe are they?”
“Severe enough they’re becoming harder to staunch. The migraines come after every symbol creation, though.” Instead of ignoring what was happening, she was being honest with herself about them for a change. They were getting worse. Staring into the slightly older woman’s eyes, Crystalyn recalled Jade. A vivid image of Jade chewing her lip flashed into her mind and powerful desire to run rolled through her—to run home to Jade. If only she could. Gathering her emotions, she pushed them away by concentrating on the middle-aged woman’s eyes. Such a lovely deep green, they held a vibrant intelligence, and something else she couldn’t define.
“I see,” Kara Laurel said softly. Moving close enough for her to inhale the woman’s scent, Kara Lara gazed at her unblinking.
“Well? Do you know what it is?”
“Yes, to an extent. There is a power within you. However, you’re using it incorrectly. You’re exacting too high a price on yourself. At the rate you are going, you’ll likely have destroyed your cognitive mind within a few months, a year at the most. That is, providing you don’t cease what you’re doing today. You’ll still be able to eat, sleep, and possibly see to your own bodily functions, but that will be all.”
Crystalyn frowned, fighting her anxiety down. When had she taken her meds last? “How can I stop? Without it I’m defenseless.” Trapped on a world where magic use was commonplace and evil lurked everywhere, stopping would be the same as suicide.
Kara Laurel moved closer still, until she was mere inches away, saying nothing.
Drawn to the woman’s eyes, a flicker of white mist, mixed with light blue, pulsed across each of the older woman’s corneas. Transfixed, she stared. Regular pulses flickered there, reminiscent of blood cells flowing through capillaries.
A flash of memory bloomed in her mind. In the image, Atoi casually mentioned that Users had colors associated with their magic use. She wondered why she never noticed before, but then she recalled she hadn’t met anyone with the phenomena yet. Lore Rayna and the Lore Mother’s eyes glowed. There was no way to see into theirs, even if they had corneas, which she doubted.
Kara Laurel’s regal face-hardened. She drew back.
Crystalyn spoke without thinking. “The pulses in your eyes are white and blue, such beautiful colors.”
A sharp intake of breath arose from Leven’s direction.
Kara Laurel’s eyebrows rose, her eyes widening with surprise.
“Is she right? Are your colors white-blue? Is your addiction deep enough she can see them?” Leven asked.
“Yes,” Kara Laurel replied, without looking away. “I’m afraid I owe you an apology, Crystalyn. I was within a moment of destroying you.”
Anger rose from deep inside her. “Why would you do that? Didn’t I just help you against those Dark Users? You may not find me as easy to destroy as you think.” A variation of the black and gray knockback symbol formed in her mind.
Kara Laurel smiled warmly. “Stay your anger, my feisty one. There are some strange things about you, but I no longer believe you to be a Dark User. Such a User could not see my colors, nor I theirs. You must understand, I’d first thought so of you. I can detect no colors in those magnificent blue eyes of yours, yet you see mine. Perhaps you haven’t been Using long enough for the addiction level to show? Or is there another, darker reason for it?” she asked, her eyes hardening.
The conversation was beginning to irritate her, along with the two other people involved in it. All of her companions had fought bravely for them. They didn’t deserve their suspicion. “I have no idea. Either I’m not a User at all, or I’m not a conventional one. You pick which one you want, it’s time we continued our journey.” Expecting the worst, she sat up. Thankfully, her head didn’t protest too much. “Where are the others?”
“They’re outside where I sent them. Your friends wanted to be here, but I for—” Kara Laurel started then a commotion at the tent’s entrance flap gave her pause.
Broth charged through with Atoi in tow. Halting one to each side, both her companions faced the couple interrogating her. Hastel pushed through right after, tilting his head to favor his good eye. Taking in the situation at a glance, he stood relaxed yet attentive by the flap.
I am with you, Do’brieni.
I know you are.
A frown marred Leven’s smooth forehead. “What is this? Did my lady not command you to wait outside her tent? Leave at once!”
“I am going to wait here,” Atoi said.
Hastel thumbed the edge of one of his axes. “I kind of like the shade in here.”
Broth made a show of sitting on his rear haunches.
Crystalyn draped an arm over his broad front shoulders, pulling the Warden close for a quick squeeze. “I prefer they remain,” she said, visualizing the knockback symbol again. If Kara Laurel was telling the truth, she was destroying her mind with every symbol she used. Yet what choice did she have? The tent was beginning to feel like a prison instead of a place of healing.
Kara Laurel moved away from Broth, sweeping the room with a stony glance. Smoothing her face with a visible effort, the red-haired woman leaned on her writing desk. “Your recovery should proceed quickly without the distraction of your friends, however well meant,” she said, her words clipped. Straightening, she left her hands behind her back.
“I’ll decide what’s best for me. Besides, my affliction is related to my symbol use, is it not?” Crystalyn asked.
“Yes,” Kara Laurel admitted, moving a step away from the dresser.
“Well, it stands to reason then, my friends won’t delay the recovery. Only using symbols will. Like this one,” she said, producing the knockback symbol. As lovely as a black-and-white king butterfly, the symbol hung majestically in the air before her, beautiful yet ominous.
Leven shuffled to Kara Laurel’s side. “What is this? I told you she was a blasted Dark User, Kara!”
Kara Laurel’s eyes narrowed. “In your weakened state, you won’t be able to hold it long.”
“Wrong! It doesn’t take anything from me to have it here. I won’t pay the price until after I’ve used it. I don’t want to, but you get to decide if I’m going to by your next actions,” Crystalyn said, proud that her voice stayed steady. “And, Kara, your yellow candle won’t help you much.”
Leven gasped.
Kara Laurel’s shoulders slumped. “This has escalated beyond what I expected. What is it you wish?” She sat the exquisite candle atop the writing desk.
Hastel expelled a low whistle.
Leven’s tanned face whitened. “What are you doing, Kara? Prepare! She’ll destroy us both!”
Crystalyn’s anger at both of them suddenly flared. It would serve them right if she let the symbol knock the consciousness out of both of them. “I will do no such thing! Well, not unless you attack my friends or me, first. What I want to know is what you two hope to gain. We helped you, but you’re treating me like some bloody monster you’ve never encountered before.”
Kara Laurel nodded. “You are correct. I am shamed beyond measure. In our quest for answers for something new, we went too far. We are indebted to you and your companions for coming to our aid. What can I do to make amends?”
“Can you heal her?” Atoi asked, raising an eyebrow at Crystalyn.
Leven frowned, looking to Kara Laurel for guidance.
Kara Laurel nodded, slowly. �
��Do what you can, even though it won’t be enough.”
Scowling deeper, Leven stepped beside Atoi.
The tone of Hastel’s voice was incredulous. “You’re not going to trust him, are you?”
Crystalyn kept her eyes on Kara Laurel. “I am, but the symbol will remain in place for a while. Go get the others ready, Hastel. If this works, we’ll leave as soon as he’s finished.”
“Yes Mistress,” Hastel said. Taking his time, he backed to the door, and then vanished outside.
Clasping Crystalyn’s hand, Leven hesitated, glancing at Kara Laurel.
“Have a care, Leven. You’ve seen the magnitude of her power.”
Crystalyn had scant time to wonder what the woman meant. Leven’s hand, while soft and smooth at first, had become rock solid, painfully constricting her delicate hand. She was about to cry out when the pain dissolved into sweet energy. Flowing into her bloodstream like the warmth of new spring sun after a fell winter, energy swept through her extremities, ending with severe abruptness at her neck. The overall effect was shocking. Her body felt young and vigorous, yet her head throbbed with a dull pain beyond her years. Her symbol sickness, as she now thought of it, must be beyond a simple heal.
Leven sat back, fatigue riddling his face. “I cannot heal mental injuries,” he said wearily, confirming her fear. “And the wound of a spiderbee can only be healed by a Naturist druid. You have one in your company capable of it, I believe.”
“Do your wounds still bother you?” Atoi asked.
Gathering her legs under her, she climbed to her feet, wincing as the puncture tore a little. She nodded to Atoi as something wet flowed down her abdomen. The two puncture wounds weren’t going away soon. Clutching Broth’s back for support, she kept a firm tie to her symbol. She wasn’t ready to put it away just yet. The throbbing in her head had lessened, but she still felt like she did after she’d used synth for too long. But that was seasons ago, after the Hartwig kid, when she’d been a total mess. Except, this time there was no nausea.
“You are by no means cured,” Leven said with a scowl. “A week of bed rest is the minimal amount for your long road to recovery.”
“Is it even possible to cure my symbol sickness?” For now, her symbols were her concern. She’d worry about the spiderbees wounds later.
Leven hesitated. “I am uncertain. Only the Circle of Light in Surbo would have the expertise to attempt such a complicated healing. I suppose it’s possible. Even if it isn’t, they should be able to teach you how to Use without so much drain. Kara Laurel could train you as well.”
Hastel’s grizzled head popped inside the tent. “Everyone is prepared, Mistress.”
Crystalyn dissolved her symbol. “Excellent.” She slipped past Kara Laurel. “Come on everybody, let’s get going.”
The bright afternoon sunlight struck her in the eyes like an errant laser some negligent gearhead engineer had left powered on; her hand sprang to her forehead for shade almost of its own accord.
Kara Laurel was the first to step out of the tent behind her, followed by Broth, Atoi and Leven.
The bowl was abuzz with activity. Kara Laurel’s soldiers worked at identifying corpses as they laid them side-by-side, or stood vigilant guarding the perimeter. Several scouts rode in and out of camp on fleet horses. Spotting the wagon next to a picket line of horses, she strode toward it.
Kara Laurel stuck by her. “Will you give me seven days of your time, Crystalyn? I could train you on the basic procedures to grounding yourself. Doing so will protect you from drawing too much of your own energy without losing any of your considerable strength. In fact, you might gain power with the right performance teachings.”
Crystalyn thought about it. “Is that what it’s called? You could show me in a week?” Then she reached a decision. “No, I cannot, I have…much to accomplish and so little time. I’ll just have to chance it.”
“It is a bigger risk than you know.”
“Such is the way of my life,” Crystalyn said. She was relieved to note all three of her Valen companions moved around the wagon. They performed the little, last minute tasks that needed doing—with thankfully, all their limbs intact. But being alive didn’t mean the battle hadn’t changed them, in some significant way.
“It is most unfortunate you feel that way,” Kara Laurel said. Glancing at the three Naturists, Kara waited for the Lore Mother to catch her gaze. When the old woman did, she spoke up. “I am dismayed to hear the news filtering out of Vibrant Vale. Surbo will respond, if they are aware. When I file my report on the attack here, I will make a point of mentioning it. I now believe this attack was meant as a distraction to what the enemy is doing in your vale.”
Dropping Drum’s rear hoof, which she’d been inspecting, Lore Rayna spun to face the auburn-haired woman. “What do you mean?” A big part of the living dress covering her chest was brown, as if some of the leaves had perished. A closer look revealed it was dried blood, perhaps hers.
Kara Laurel turned to the big woman, her manner reserved. “Hasn’t one of your runners arrived yet? The Vibrant Vale is under concerted attack by several companies of Dark Users.”
Cudgel balanced a large food sack slung over a shoulder. Both of his arms sustained clean bandages from wrist to shoulder. Crystalyn wondered why he hadn’t healed fully then she recalled Leven and possibly Lore Rayna only had the strength for severe wounds. “No! By Onan, how can this be? We’ve kept a constant vigil on Virun for ages. An advance warning has always given us plentiful time to prepare.”
Leven walked past Atoi and Broth, to stand beside Kara Laurel. “Not this time. They stole down the Serpent Gorge by the cover of darkness, crept into the dark alleys of Silent Blade to wait until their force had grown sufficient to assault the Vale from the south during the dark of night.”
The Lore Mother started, stiffening on the wagon’s seat as if stabbed. Perhaps she had in a way. “No! Surely one of our scouts would have noticed!”
“I’m afraid not,” Kara Laurel said. “Our last report read the southern half of the vale was ablaze.”
The Lore Mother’s face drained of color. “Virgin Mother! I am truly sorry Crystalyn, but my people have great need of me, of us! We have to go.” Without another word, she slapped the reins on the front board, clucking her tongue unnecessarily. Drumn was already moving, the crate banged against the rear gate. Lore Rayna and Cudgel broke into a run beside her.
“Don’t worry about us, we’ll be fine,” Crystalyn called. “See to your people.”
Threading around craters, piled debris, and the grisly remains in the field, the trio soon vanished from sight. Crystalyn turned to Hastel. He stood watching the trail the wagon had taken. “Where are the rest of the horses?”
“I know he’ll be taken care of, but Drumn’s going to be cranky when he figures out we’re not with him. I hope the Lore Mother can manage.” Hastel shrugged. “The horses are tied to a post around the side. For a wonder, we only lost one in the battle.”
Kara Laurel stepped in front of her. “We could learn much from each other. Are you certain you won’t stay with us?”
“I have given you my decision,” Crystalyn said. She followed Hastel behind Kara Laurel’s tent to where Ferral stood saddled and waiting. Mounting, she waited for her two companions to climb in the saddle of their own steeds, letting Kara Laurel wait for her answer. “Perhaps another time, we have much to accomplish before I’ll have the luxury of seeing to my own safety.”
“Then allow me to assign two of the reinforcements to escort you to…what is your destination?” Kara Laurel asked, raising her eyebrows.
Crystalyn ignored the question. Trusting the woman with a location was the same as inviting her to meddle. “Your men are needed here. There’s a lot left to do with treating the wounded and burying the deceased. We’ll be fine; these two are seasoned travelers.”
Kara Laurel kept her face smooth with only a slight difficulty. “As you wish, I do hope we meet again.”
Crystalyn met Kara laurel’s brilliant emerald eyes. “I don’t doubt we will.” Coaxing Ferral around, she urged the stallion into an easy gallop. Averting her eyes from most of the carnage—some likely hers—they topped a small hill at the bowl’s end. Halting Ferral to one side of the trail, she allowed Hastel to take the lead as he passed by on the appaloosa mare. Glancing back, she reflected on how Kara Laurel’s tent while appearing small and forlorn amidst the village of tents, it yet stood defiant, facing a field of gore. Something she was likely to see again on a world ripe with violence. Turning her back on the scene, she urged Ferral into a thick falun tree forest.
Astura was not her world, but its viciousness had blooded her. There was more in store for her. Of that, she was certain.
HOW BROKEN HER MIND
The forest shade cooled the dull ache inside Crystalyn’s head to something negligible. Sitting back in the saddle, she began to enjoy the ride, feeling almost normal again. But she was far from normal, as she’d sent to Broth. How could she be? A mind affliction, with a bad habit of pulling her own energy from deep inside in order to use her magic symbols, wasn’t normal. How long before one or the other destroyed her mind and rent her body beyond repair?
Crystalyn sighed. There wasn’t a lot she could do about it. After all, she wasn’t using her symbols to start the evening campfire or create the morning meal. She used them only when danger threatened or when healing was required to save a life. Though she wouldn’t hesitate to use her symbols if the situation merited it, the best she could do was try not to use until she’d completed training to help prevent the life-draining effect they had on her.
Astura may not allow her to play it safe. Since her arrival on the planet, there’d been few days of no danger, so she might as well enjoy the morning ride of late spring. It would get hotter as the day progressed.
Hastel set a steady pace through the behemoth trees of the Falun Forest, keeping to the wagon trail even though Drumn and the wagon had left with the Naturists. The trees grew sparsely enough in the outskirts for wild meadow flowers to bloom with strong scents and vibrant colors. Some bloomed so bright and fragrant, Crystalyn had to resist the urge to stop and commit the scents to memory. She missed not having the time to experiment with new smells, especially on living things. Those days had fled, chased away by her mom’s disappearance and the responsibilities of her indenture to Ruena Day. Now the sole focus in her life was the journey to find Jade and staying healthy enough to do it. Astura was making it difficult.
Beyond the Sapphire Gate: Epic Fantasy-Some Magic Should Remain Untouched (The Flow of Power Book 1) Page 29