He’d never told her he loved her, never spoken the words, because she’d asked him not to. But she knew he did. She’d wanted to find a way to love him back, but she never had. “Keith…”
He sat back abruptly. “No, never mind. I don’t want to hear what you were going to say. Let’s just have fun. Didn’t we pass a bar on our way here?”
~oOo~
No Place was no place for Keith Durham, but he was determined, and Shannon felt guilty about not being fully present with him so far this weekend. So, with as many caveats as she could think of laid out up front, she walked him into the bar, hoping that this Friday night would be quiet, and trying to ignore the line of Harleys parked near the entrance. She made a point not to try to distinguish any bike from the others.
She’d been here only twice before, and had only one of those times been witness to the kind of brawl for which the bar was locally renowned. This was a place where fights were expected—almost encouraged. If the town was going to really catch on, especially if the inn was going to be a success, then No Place needed to clean up its act, or somebody needed to open a tamer place to get a drink. She thought the latter more likely. This place was a town place and wouldn’t easily change.
They had live music only on Saturdays, so on this Friday night the jukebox was in heavy use. As usual, members of the Horde were sitting or standing at the bar. There was a party at the clubhouse most Fridays, but the Horde always maintained a presence here, too. They were in charge of security everywhere around town. Here, their job was not to stop the fighting but to keep the damage down. Show was standing with his back against the bar, surveying the scene. Of course he was.
Because he was keeping watch, he saw her as soon as she came through the door. She’d seen him right away, too, because, though she didn’t want to admit it, she was looking out for him, even hoping she’d see him. Their eyes met. Then Keith stepped in behind her, and Show stood up straight, his brows drawn and his mouth set.
Was that just a reaction to seeing a stranger in the bar? Or was he jealous? She had no idea. But determined not to spend more time with Keith thinking of things other than Keith, she sent Show a friendly smile and took Keith’s hand.
Most of the tables were full, but there was an empty two-top near the bar, and he led her over to it. She would have preferred some distance from the bikers, whom she expected to have to greet at some point, which would mean introducing Keith.
He held her chair for her, and she sat. “Will a waitress come by, or is this a place I should go up to the bar?”
There was only Tuck and his wife, Rose, so it was faster to go up to the bar, but Shannon didn’t want him standing right next to Havoc, who’d also noticed them come in. “The bar—I’ll go. What do you want?”
Keith shook his head. “You sit tight. Still drinking whiskey sours?”
“Sure.” She hadn’t had a mixed drink at Tuck’s—this was more a beer and straight liquor place—but she figured they’d have sour mix somewhere. Keith nodded and turned toward the bar.
While he was away, Shannon watched him, hoping none of the Horde would talk to him. He stood next to Havoc, who turned and gave him a look but said nothing. Good. She felt eyes on her, though, and knew whose they were. She tried to keep her eyes on Keith and ignore the stare heating up the side of her face, but finally she succumbed and turned her head. Yes, Show was staring at her, and, unlike every other damn time she’d tried to look at him, he didn’t shift his gaze when she met it. He looked pissed. What the hell? He could have had her if he’d wanted her.
In a heartbeat, she was angry—livid. Short of jumping on him and screaming “Fuck me now,” she didn’t think she could have made her interest more clear. He’d backed away at every turn. Since the wedding, he’d been ignoring her outright, going out of his way to keep clear. What damn right did he have to be pissed now? She had half a mind to call him out on it right now. But Keith was walking back with his scotch and her whiskey sour, so she turned away from Show and pulled Keith close for a kiss as soon as he sat.
He deepened the kiss, his hand going to hold her head, and when they pulled back, he murmured, “That’s more like it.” He searched her eyes for a second, then asked, “Something going on with that big guy at the bar? The one who looks like he wants to break my face? Is that what’s got you out in space today?”
Keith was a trial lawyer; he was an expert at reading people. Shannon knew she needed to bring her game up and give him her full attention this weekend. She pushed her fingers into his gorgeous hair and smiled. “No. He’s just a sour-tempered guy. I’m here. Let’s have our drinks and go back to bed.”
~oOo~
The weekend went fine. Shannon managed to focus on Keith, and they spent all of Saturday in her apartment, in bed or curled together on the couch. On Sunday, they drove out of town in his sleek black Mercedes and had breakfast in Worden. That afternoon, they stood on the gravel next to his car, his packed suitcase at his feet, and he held her for a long time.
“You don’t seem like you’re happy here, Shannon. Come back. I really miss you, beautiful.”
She was happy. She loved this job. Here, she was in at the start of something that could become big. She was growing to love the town and its quirky citizens. If she could get over this damn crush on Show, she’d be great.
What Keith was picking up on, though, was her realization that she’d been treading water in Tulsa—for her entire adult life. Even as she’d moved steadily upward in her career, even as she’d acquired the trappings of success, she’d been going nowhere in her life. And he was part of that. Not his fault—he was the kind of man she was crazy not to want. But she didn’t want him. She’d faked every orgasm all weekend long, feeling distant and disconnected, lost in her own head while he did his level best to make her feel good—to make her feel loved.
“I’m good here, Keith. I needed a fresh start. I am happy.”
With a sad shake of his head, he kissed her.
While Shannon was still in Keith’s arms, Lilli pulled up in her classic Plymouth Barracuda. Driving that car meant she was without Gia; she drove their SUV when she had the baby with her. She got out as Keith put his suitcase in his trunk, and she walked over to them. Shannon was going to have to introduce them.
Keith took care of that himself. He closed the lid of the trunk and came forward as Lilli stopped next to Shannon. “Hi. Keith Durham. Friend of Shannon’s.”
Lilli held out her hand. “Lilli Lunden.”
“Lilli owns the inn,” Shannon supplied, feeling uncomfortable. She’d have preferred it if Keith had gotten away before Lilli showed up.
But he smiled broadly—his public smile. “Oh! Well, this is a beautiful place. I’ve really enjoyed it this weekend.”
“Thanks. I’m glad.” They all stood there awkwardly, and then Lilli said, “Well, I’m going to head down to talk to Badger. If you have a minute later, Shannon?”
“Sure. I’ll see you inside.”
With a nod, and a friendly smile at Keith, Lilli turned and walked down the gravel drive to the barn. Keith kissed Shannon’s cheek and then got into his Mercedes and drove away. She was fairly certain she’d never see him again. Not because he wouldn’t want to, but because she wouldn’t.
Shannon stood on the sparkling gravel drive long after Keith was out of sight. A heavy, dark depression had settled on her. She had no one of any kind of permanence in her life. As if she were coated in Teflon, every friendship, every romance, hell, even her family, seemed to slide away and leave not a trace. There was something wrong with her.
~oOo~
She was in the office, going through the kitchen order Beth had placed, when Lilli came in and sat down on the loveseat across from the desk. There was only the one desk in the manager’s office, and Lilli had ceded it to Shannon as soon as she’d taken the job. When Lilli needed desk space to work, she generally sat in the dining room, when it was empty, or at the front desk. Shannon was thankful that, as hard
as Lilli was finding it to step back and let Shannon run the place as she’d been hired to do, she understood the boundaries of respect. And she was slowly getting better about giving Shannon the reins. The success of the wedding at the end of September had done a lot to settle Lilli’s confidence.
“If I’m prying, tell me to shut the hell up, but that guy—Keith—looked like more than a friend. Someone special?”
She was prying a little, and Shannon almost told her it was private. But she was feeling like she needed to make more of an effort to have a real friend, somebody who knew her. That was the thing—no one in Tulsa had ever truly known her. Everyone she’d called a friend, or even a lover, had known the public Shannon, the one who liked to party and play. She’d never confided in anyone, and she adapted to everyone, showed them the Shannon they expected to see. Even Keith—the only reason he’d known about her past was that he’d noticed she was being followed.
“Not really. Not anymore. He’s an ex. We ended it when I moved.”
Lilli grinned. “That kiss didn’t seem very ‘ended’.”
Shannon wasn’t in the mood for this conversation, but she pressed on, forcing herself to smile. “I think it’s more ended for me than for him.”
“Is that because of Show?”
Shannon was shocked—she felt herself actually, visibly flinch. “What?”
“Just something I’ve picked up, pretty much from the day we met.” Lilli shrugged. “Look, it’s my way to keep out of people’s business. But I love Show, and he’s had a rough go the last year. I really like you, too, and, selfishly, I don’t want something to happen and end up losing you. I need you here. So I’m just going to say this: Show is a very good man, but he’s a very sad man. His story isn’t mine to tell, but I figure you probably know the broad strokes, because people talk around here. I don’t know if there’s an in with him, but if you get in, be careful—for both your sakes.”
Shannon shook her head. “There’s no in. I’d have found it by now. It’s probably better this way.”
“He deserves love. I’d love to see him find it. I just don’t know if he’s ready yet.”
Feeling like she’d cry if they kept this conversation going, and furious with herself for getting all emotional over a man she hardly knew, Shannon needed to change the subject. “Is that why you came in today? To offer romantic advice?”
Lilli made a face. “God, no! I just saw the epic goodbye kiss and—I don’t know. Started blabbing. Being a mom is making me nosy, I guess. No, I came in because we need to start talking about Hollywood coming to town. Looks like the movie might happen. They want to write it, anyway, and we’ve got some people coming in. They’ll stay here, and they are going to need a lot of babysitting.”
They spent the rest of the afternoon strategizing the care and feeding of the first wave of Hollywood into Signal Bend. Her mind thus engaged in her work, Shannon had a few hours without a thought of Show, or Keith, or her many failings as a human being.
CHAPTER SEVEN
When Show came down the hall from the dorms, Badger’s patch party was well underway. He’d lingered in his room, taking his time in the tiny shower, not in the mood for the wild night that a patch party meant. But Show was fond of Badger and glad he’d made it, and he knew he needed to be part of these festivities. A man supported his brothers, new and old. So he’d shrugged his kutte over a clean flannel shirt, pulled on his beanie, and made his way into the loud, crowded Hall.
The goal was to get Badge as drunk as possible and laid as often as possible, and the rest of the Horde generally followed suit. Being patched was big. Being patched at the ripe old age of twenty-one was rare—reserved primarily for legacy members. But Badge deserved it.
He’d gotten his patch a week ago, but they’d put off the party so his big brother could make it back. Jason had spent some time as a club hangaround his last year of high school, but he’d gotten a baseball scholarship to Mizzou and had made the most of it. Now, he was a civil engineer, working in Kansas City. But he was still a Signal Bend kid, proud of his little brother for earning the Flaming Mane patch of the Night Horde MC. And he’d pulled up on a Harley.
When Show entered the Hall, Badger and Jason were leaning on the bar, laughing with Dom, the Prospect tending tonight. Show took a breath and stepped between the brothers, hooking his arms over their shoulders. Badger, though he was filling out and shaping up, had been a skinny, gangly, acne-tormented kid. His older brother, on the other hand, a lifelong athlete, was broad-chested and fit. Badge had long, reddish-brown hair. Jason kept his blond hair very short. The only physical attribute they shared was their eyes, and by those distinctive, pale green orbs, there was no doubt they were brothers. “What are you assholes laughing about?”
Jason looked up at Show with a grin. “Just reminding the kid that I’m bigger, stronger, and better than him at everything, did everything first. Don’t want him all cocky and shit.”
Show squeezed his arm around Badger’s big brother’s neck. “Everything but wear a patch, you mean. That one’s Badger’s.”
At that, Badge shot a jab across Show and into Jason’s gut. “Damn straight!”
Releasing Jason, Show put his hand down on Badger’s shoulder. “Don’t be an asshole tonight, boy. Hold your liquor. Keep your feet. And keep your shit covered. You carrying?”
At first Badger looked confused, but then he grinned and pulled a full strip of condoms out of his jeans pocket. Show laughed.
“Okay, Boy Scout. You’re prepared. Good for you. Use ‘em.” He turned to Dom. “Jack. The bottle and a glass.” Then he went to the end of the bar and took a seat.
For the first hour or so, he had a decent time, sitting at the bar with his friend, Jack Daniels. He enjoyed watching Badge take every dare his new brothers could think of, and drink every drink that was put in his hand, with a huge smile on his face, a girl hooked under each arm. The kid looked like he was about to explode from happiness. Or alcohol. At about the same time he had that thought, he saw Isaac pull Len aside. Time to make the kid puke so he could keep going. Len, his sponsor, got that honor, and he grabbed Badge by his freshly-patched kutte and dragged him to the john.
The party wasn’t diminished by the temporary absence of its guest of honor. The place was hopping in a way it hadn’t been in a long time. There was a new vibe in Signal Bend. Hope. They’d been through it, and they’d come out the other side. With the repairs and renovations they’d done after the “shootout” with the Northside Knights, Main Street looked better than it had in decades. The publicity from that awful day, and Lilli’s B&B, were bringing people in. They might get a grocery in town for the first time in close to ten years. Reverend Mortensen was trying to get town support for reopening the library—a lot of the books it had had in circulation were still boxed up in the basement; they just needed people to staff it and the overhead to keep the lights on and the roof tight. Mac Evans had told Show that he’d recently shown two separate couples properties in the area that for the last five years had been left to rot by the banks that had foreclosed on them. Signal Bend was coming back. Now Show needed to find his way back, too. If he could.
Len and Badge were still back in the john, and Show was deep in thought, staring across the Hall without really looking, ignoring the glass of Jack in front of him, when the Shannon came through the front door. His eyes facing that general direction, he saw her come in. He hadn’t thought about it, but it didn’t surprise him that she’d be here. Badge liked her a lot. A lot. He’d have invited her. She was a fucking vision, wearing a snug but not overly short dark skirt, a likewise snug, low-cut top that shimmered in some way he didn’t understand, and sexy, high shoes. All curves and cleavage, she was going to find herself in trouble around this group. Even though they knew her and her connection to Lilli and therefore Isaac, as drunk as they were, and her here, unattached, and looking like that, she was in trouble.
Unless that was what she wanted. Looking at her now, Show consid
ered the possibility that she’d come here to be club pussy. It pissed him off. Mightily. She wasn’t that kind of woman.
Or was she? Maybe she was. What the fuck did he know?
But it didn’t add up, her being here to tear through the Horde. She’d been low all week. He’d had cause to be at the B&B almost daily during the past week, working with Badger on getting the feed right for the three orphaned kids he was adding to the goat herd, and he’d seen her dragging her ass around like her best dog had died. Badger, half in love with her, had mentioned it every day, worrying. He’d gotten Show worried, thinking about that slick bastard she’d had with her last weekend. All weekend. The way he’d grabbed her ass as they’d walked out of the bar on Friday night. The way she’d flinched away.
Had he hurt her? Is that why the long puss all week? Was this trashy getup she was wearing tonight about that somehow?
And why the fuck did he give a rat’s ass? She wasn’t even a friend. But he did. He’d been intensely and inexplicably jealous when he saw her with Joe City at Tuck’s, and he’d been inexplicably furious when they’d left. Then he’d been worried that the asshole had done something to make her sad all week.
In all the time he’d known her, he’d had exactly one exchange with her that could possibly be called a real conversation. How she’d gotten in his head the way she had, he did not know.
But right now, he was pissed and jealous at the way Vic and Havoc were eyeing her. Like fucking cartoon wolves. Seeing Havoc heading her way, Show got up from the bar, realizing then that he was drunker than he’d thought, and crossed the Hall to her, where she was now standing near the Galaga arcade game.
She saw him come and turned to face him, her eyes wide. He grabbed her arm.
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