by Ashley Pullo
Sugartits,
My new assignment will keep me away from camp for two weeks. There's no need to worry, we're simply expanding our patrol perimeter. It's safer to travel by foot than by truck, but I kinda like roaming the countryside.
Keep sending letters and photos. The PE at camp will hold them for me until I return. Tell Molly to stop mailing me boxes of cigarettes – I don't smoke – and this isn’t prison. Ask Chloe to set up another photo shoot. This time I want black and white stills of my favorite body parts.
I love you.
Z
August 3, 2003
Lover,
Enjoy the film noir photos and giant box of Pop Tarts.
xo Nat
August 10, 2003
Ma femme,
I have a bad case of the I-miss-your-ass-itis. The only thing that can cure me is a little alone time with your naughty photos. Lucky for me, my bunk mates think I have a stomach virus and were ordered to avoid me for the next twenty-four hours.
I’m not ashamed to tell you that I intend on beating the bishop for at least eighteen of those quarantined hours. Is that crude, Nat? Nah, you love it.
You love being sexually objectified, most strong women do. Knowing that you’re the reason my dick gets hard turns you on – which drives me even crazier – and makes you a fucking goddess. It’s a sexual pyramid in which you hold power. The one being worshipped always has control, ma femme.
Your slave,
Zach
August 15, 2003
Zacharie,
I finally bought a Blackberry! As I was walking home from the Verizon store yesterday, I sent you an email, testing the tower strength Verizon claims to have. Okay, I'm not sure what kind of powers you possess on the other side of the world, but the entire City fucking blacked out.
Word on the street was another terrorist attack – striking us when it hurt the most – Thursday night Must See TV (ha! Fuck you, Taliban. They were reruns.) Alas, the power came back on a few hours ago and guess who the government is blaming? Canada.
Whatever. The past day has been crazy hot and crazy boring. How do people live without air conditioning or fans?
Hey, remember how I told you Mom was trying to set me up on dates? And remember how she blabbed that it was your idea? What the hell, Zach? I don't want to date anyone! What I need is a casual fuck buddy – can you and Mom find that guy for me?
I'll have you know that your devious plan was foiled because Chloe’s going on the date in my place. Keep trying, mon prince, but you will never get rid of me.
XO Nat
August 27, 2003
My one and only,
I’m heading out on another week-long patrol.
Good news: December furlough is set. Start swimsuit shopping ASAP. In a few short months, we’ll be lounging by the pool of the Waikiki Hilton. Christmas in Hawaii, Nat – what great luck.
Bad news: the next few months are tricky. I’m not sure if you watch the news (which you shouldn’t) but things are slightly intense over here. The people we’re protecting don’t want us here, and therefore, my assignments and patrols can change without notice. There’s nothing to worry about, but communication will be difficult. Keep sending me letters and packages – it will be awesome to return to base and have things to open from you. Just promise me you won’t fill any more envelopes with confetti – I have an image, Nat.
What else?
Oh, yeah.
Remember the thing we need to discuss that neither one of us wants to bring up? Nat, you’re a very sexual person – which is one of the reasons we make sense. And it would be selfish of me to assume or demand that you refrain from any extracurricular fun while I’m away.
What we have is special – a captivation of souls. Tu es mon étoile et ma balise. Natalie LeGrange, tu es ma femme.
Love,
Zacharie
September 5, 2003
Zach,
I’m choosing to ignore all the bad things and focus on the good news. Hawaii!
I mailed you a package of all your favourite snacks. I also bought you a cell phone with an international data plan – but Dad told me that Afghanistan has maybe one cell tower in the entire country. What the actual fuck? There’s also a new iPod filled with music – like 400 songs! Chloe picked most of them, but I’m sure you’ll recognize our songs.
Anyway, I followed your request and eliminated the confetti, but I did bubble wrap the shit out of the contents. Enjoy.
Did I mention Chloe has a boyfriend? Fate is a crazy bitch, huh? Remember how Chloe went on that blind date Mom set up for me? Well, that dude was a dork, but she did find the guy of her dreams. His name is Adam, and I’m meeting him next week at Chloe’s show.
Back to Hawaii . . .
I bought a red bikini and a black one piece for snorkeling. I also bought the most beautiful lingerie – see enclosed photos in package.
I love you, Zach Parker.
XO Nat
September 11, 2003
Ma femme,
Today marks the day it all changed. Aunt Patty let me know that Mom was added to the list of 9/11 victims and her name will be read at the Remembrance Ceremony. That’s good, I guess – but shit, does it even matter anymore?
I’m fighting a fucking war so Mom’s name can be read as a victim of the war I’m fighting. There’s just something wrong with the idealism behind this shit. I’m so ready to come home.
Life as I know it goes like this: Our tent is collapsible and portable. We roam around the mountains, or the occasional barren poppy field like a gang of boy scouts. We sing songs, play cards, and pretend our MREs are cheeseburgers and chili fries. I’ve tried to take as many photos as possible of my squad being complete jackasses – oh, and there’s a few of Gumby the goat . . . but I won’t have a chance to upload them until I get back to base.
Shit, I miss base. Being on base was like Camp Anawanna from Salute Your Shorts, and being on a mission is like a boring episode of M.A.S.H. I spent all that time hating Camp Hammond, but now I would kill (it’s a joke – I haven’t killed anyone) to get back there to play a game of hoops and take a hot shower. Don’t be scared or disgusted – that case of hand sanitizer was a big hit with the guys. Although they prefer the pictures of you in that yellow bikini from the Fourth. But more than anything, it’s monotonous and tedious, and I cannot wait to come home to you in that yellow bikini.
Not a day goes by that I don’t dream of devouring your soft skin. Not a day goes by that I don’t fantasize about a plate of Virgil’s barbecue. In that order of course – or simultaneously for fun.
There she is! Laugh for me Natalie.
I come out here at night so I can see your star. The guys think I’m a creeper staring up at the sky – but they don’t understand. Keep smiling, ma femme, your star is brighter than ever. My pleasure from the pain – my beacon. Never apologize for being you.
No regrets,
Zach
September 16, 2003
One year ago today, I met a boy on a train.
XO Nat
September 25, 2003
Z,
What a mess.
Chloe and Adam are no longer a thing. And the worst part? I think I’m the reason.
When I met Adam (again) at Chloe’s show, things got really tense. Halfway through Chloe’s set, he stormed off and they haven’t spoken since.
So why am I to blame? It could be a number of reasons – but mostly, I think I know Adam from my past . . . as in, I think I’ve slept with him. I KNOW! God, I’m pathetic.
But then tonight, while I was watching the season premiere of the final season of Friends (omg! The gang is still in Barbados and Rachel and Joey kiss! Oh, and Monica gets corn rows) a brilliant idea popped into my manic head. Tomorrow, I will arrange to meet Adam and discuss things like mature adults. He’ll inevitably run back to Chloe, realizing that he made a mistake. She’s the coolest chick in NYC, and Adam would be lucky to have her.
And then, once this is all str
aightened out and the growing temptations cease to exist, maybe I can find resolve. I feel so unsettled, Zach. I’m jumpy and irritable, and I keep making mistakes in my personal life and at work. I’m like a feral cat that can sense an impending thunderstorm.
Work your magic and help me see the bigger picture.
Love always,
Nat
PS Molly is hosting a party for you in December.
PPS I’m hosting a party for you in my pants.
October 11, 2003
Zacharie,
I hate not getting mail from you! Do you not get to recoup between patrol assignments? Motherfuckers.
*serious face*
Zach, mon prince, I don’t think I’ve adequately expressed my love for you. It’s time. It’s about fucking time I profess my love and devotion. Forever and always – I choose you.
I love you! I love you in the morning with your Pop Tarts and giant woody.
I love you! I love you in the evening with your mug of beer and giant woody.
I love you! I love you in Connecticut, New York, and a million miles apart.
I love you! I love you in the shower, the bank, a taxi, and that one time in the bathroom at Hooters, oh wait, and the Santa Village at Macy’s.
I love you.
I will never be good enough for you, but I will never stop trying. And if you will have me Zacharie Parker, I will be your girl forever.
No regrets.
Natalie
October 25, 2003
Zacharie Pascale Parker, will you marry me?
Love,
Your girl
November 13, 2003
Ma femme,
Je ne regrette rien, because I found everything.
I love you.
Zach
Acknowledgments
Thank you: Erika, Nick, Vincent, Christina, Capt. Hammond, Jennifer, Marla, Susi, Jamie, Beth, Teresa, Jodie, Les Femmes, Mom & Dad, and to all the readers that love the romance of Natalie and Zach as I much as I do.
I’d also like to acknowledge my appreciation for Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Edith Piaf, the United States Marine Corps, and American television.
No regrets.
xoap
About the Author
Hey y'all!
The Lone Star State will always be my home, but fifteen years ago, I took the plunge and became a New Yorker. NYC is an amazing place to find inspiration in my daily surroundings – the random and the ordinary that make up reality. My writing showcases inspired ideas, as well as my love for dichotomy, authenticity, and humor.
When not sitting in front of the TV devouring my favorite shows, I can be found at a soccer game with my husband and two children.
Facebook www.facebook.com/AshleyPullo
Twitter @ashpullo
AMAZING WEBSITE http://www.ashleypullo.com
Or find me at any local Starbucks around 3 p.m.
Other works by Ashley Pullo
The Album
The Ballad
The Coda – Coming Spring 2015
The Duke of Pineapple Street – Coming Summer 2015