by Jodi Redford
Not daring to take his focus off her in case she tried something funny, he cautiously accepted the container and fumbled with the fabric ribbon and bow.
She grinned, her sparkling eyes more than conveying that she was fully aware of how much she was affecting him. “You know, it’s usually easier to open those things if you look at what you’re doing.”
“Yeah, I’ve got it handled.” Somehow he managed to rip the foiled paper free. After that he was forced to glance at the box he held. He blinked at the set of Wusthof chef knives, his previous frustration over her sneaky and sexy machinations vanishing. “Jana, you shouldn’t have. This is way too generous.”
“So help me, if you say you can’t accept them, I’m going to kick your freakin’ ass. And trust me, that’s gonna be difficult to do in these platform heels.”
He ran his thumb along the edge of the box, the emotion filling his chest bittersweet. A few weeks ago he’d taken her window-shopping at the ritzy new mall that’d opened up in Sterling Heights. Obviously she’d caught him wistfully ogling the knife set and returned later to buy it. The knowledge that she would do something like that for him increased the odd pressure against his breastbone. Tempting as she was in her naughty elf Fuck Me ensemble, the sweet, generous woman standing before him with hope and love shining in her eyes was the biggest threat to his armored defenses.
He’d never known someone like Jana, so open and giving in every way possible, even right down to her heart. He wished with his entire being that he could give back a fraction of what she offered. Most of all, he wished he could be the right man for her and not one who would ultimately hurt her when he walked away. Even if he weren’t leaving for Vegas, there still wasn’t a future for them. He knew himself too well to feed himself any lies regarding his emotional baggage.
“I—I did get the correct set…right?” A cloud of worry and uncertainty shuttled across Jana’s face, and she chewed her lip.
That show of vulnerability punched him in the abdomen. “Yeah, it’s perfect. But from now on, no more expensive presents.”
Her expression cleared, and she graced him with a blinding smile. “Does that mean I have to send back the Lamborghini?”
His chuckle breaking free, he pulled her in for a hug. Too late, he realized his tactical mistake as Jana’s lush curves molded against him.
She slipped her hands beneath his jacket, snuggling into him. The nearness of her invaded his senses. Battle-rammed his defenses. His arms reflexively tightening around her, he hugged her close. It was a simple enough gesture shared between friends, but in his case, it meant so much more. Intimacy didn’t come easy for him. Until Jana entered his life, he rarely let down his guard enough to share that side of himself. The only other person who’d broken through his barriers had been Nick.
And look where that got you.
Jana’s expression was a dreamy-eyed invitation that wrapped around his heart and squeezed. “Stay with me tonight. Please.”
The desire to give in nearly knocked him to his knees. It would have been easy enough to give in to the fierce urge firing through him. Forgiving himself in the morning? Not so much. “Jana, I can’t. We’ve already discussed this.”
“And I’ve already told you not to worry about what Bram thinks. For Pete’s sake, my brother isn’t going to fire you for having sex with me.”
If Kevin weren’t moving to Vegas, it might have been a genuine possibility. Particularly since Bram had seen him at Club Arabesque on more than one occasion and knew about his kinky side. To be honest, he was a little surprised Bram apparently hadn’t spilled the beans to Jana about that. Still, he’d caught every single one of Bram’s covert looks of warning whenever the man saw him with Jana. Decoded, they amounted to Keep your dick in your damn pants.
Jana deliberately brushed her hipbone against his erection, making him suck in a harsh breath. He loosened his hold on her and dropped his arms. This was just one more sanity check to remind him why touching her was too much temptation to handle. “I don’t want to destroy our friendship.” And break your heart when I leave.
Stubbornness blazed in Jana’s eyes. “God, that is so fucking stupid!” She jabbed a finger in the middle of his chest. “What difference does it make if we engage in some horizontal gymnastics? It’s not going to change the way I feel about you, or our friendship.”
“Sex complicates things.” In a big way, in his case.
“Oh dog’s balls. My brother sleeps every night with his best friend. Both of them, to get technical about it. And their relationship is going great.”
“The key word in there is relationship, Jana. That’s why it’s working for them.”
“I’m not asking you to move in or marry me, you idjit. Just fuck my brains out.”
Another ragged breath lodged in his esophagus. Her palm flattened on his sternum, stroking him through the starched cotton of his navy Oxford. He gripped her fingers, stalling their enticing motion. “No, you want more than that. I see it in your eyes every time you look at me.” And that, more than anything, was what terrified him and kept him away. He’d made the reckless decision once before to pursue a relationship he knew he ultimately couldn’t commit to. The resulting disaster had destroyed the only real friendship he’d known at the time. He damn well wasn’t going to let Jana be another casualty to his fucked-up psyche. “Trust me, one day you’ll thank me for telling you no.”
The uncensored hurt that washed over her stricken features was like a fist rammed into his gut, but it was nothing compared to the guilt that would plague him if he fucked her and walked away.
Her eyes became suspiciously misty, making his heart cramp.
“Jana, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—” The remainder of his apology fell victim to the unexpected crush of her soft lips over his. He was completely unprepared for the kiss and his body’s knee-jerk reaction to it. His cock thickened, and every nerve ending he possessed buzzed like he’d stepped on a live wire. A hungry groan tumbled free before he could corral it.
Jana’s lips parted beneath his, and her bold tongue stroked inside his mouth, playing over the tip of his. She tasted like sunshine and sex. Every one of his fantasies brought to life. His cock bobbed against his fly, straining in Jana’s direction. The rest of him instinctually followed his dick’s lead.
She moaned, the sweet, uninhibited sound quickly becoming his newest addiction. He wanted to hear it again, over and over. A tempting visual flashed through his mind—Jana stretched beneath him, her delectable ass raised and his hands massaging the full weight of her breasts while he fucked her from behind, hard and deep, losing himself in the snug, wet heaven of her pussy until they were completely strung out on each other.
As if she’d plugged directly into his thoughts, she coaxed his hand to the front of her halter. The soft, plump hill of her breast fit perfectly beneath his palm. His thumb brushed the pebbled peak of her nipple, stiffening it even more beneath the satin of her top. Her knees bumped against his, nudging him backwards and onto the couch. A second later, she straddled his lap and guided his free hand to her other breast. Her tongue a teasing glide along his, she rocked against his erection. He was too drunk on the seductive taste of her to comprehend her wily maneuverings until it was too late. The warning bells had a motherfucker of a time outshouting the lust roaring through his system.
His hands reflexively molded around her breasts—one last torment—before he forced himself to let go of her. “We can’t do this.”
Her lips still rosy and swollen from their kiss, Jana slid a glance toward the obvious bulge tenting his zipper. “Why? You want me. And I sure as hell want you. So stop listening to that stubborn brain of yours, and rock my panties off.” Her eyes twinkled with one hundred degrees of wickedness. “Oh wait, I’m not wearing any.”
She would have to fucking inform him of that. “You’re making it hard for me to do the right thing.”
“Good. I like making it hard.” Nipping his bottom lip with a kitte
nish purr, she wedged a hand between them and squeezed his erection.
He jerked. “Damn it, Jana.”
Her chuckle pure evil, she began stroking him through the placket of his trousers. Scraping her teeth along his chin, she worked her way to the underside of his jaw and licked him before sucking hard enough to leave a hickey. Her nails grazed along his zipper. “I want to take you in my mouth. My pussy. Everywhere.”
Sweet Jesus. He wanted that too. The desire to feel the hot, wet silkiness of her mouth and pussy wrapped around his cock thrummed through his blood. He was on the edge, his resistance holding on by a microfilament. If it snapped and he buried himself inside Jana like he longed to do, the inevitable fallout would be impossible to repair.
He couldn’t do that to her.
As if she’d intuited the battle going on inside him, Jana ran her fingertips through his hair, the gentle rake of her nails on his scalp making him shiver in sensory overload. In between her delicious, exploring kisses, she fed him reassurances that he desperately wanted to believe but ultimately knew he couldn’t.
“Don’t think. Just make love to me.” Her fingers laced with his and skated his hand along her thigh. Without consciously realizing what he was doing, he caressed her velvety skin. She leaned into his touch, her feathery sigh brushing his cheek. Shifting slightly on his lap, she coaxed their joined fingers farther inland, until the soft fur trimming her skirt tickled his knuckles. He knew where she was leading him. Knew he should stop her. But damn if he possessed enough willpower.
She slipped his hand beneath her skirt, giving him only a brief, tantalizing graze of his palm over the thin, silky strip of her pubic hair before guiding his fingers lower. His breath hissed between his teeth as he encountered the slick moisture coating her labia. She rubbed against his hand, glazing his skin with her juices. A tremble coursed through her. “Do you feel how much I want you?”
A tremor shaking him, he glossed his fingers over her wetness. The mental image of her soaking his cock with her liquid, musky essence while she rode him flashed through his mind. His dick responded with a hot surge behind his fly. Jana fumbled with his zipper.
His cock in her hands? There’d be no hope for him.
Moving faster than he would have thought his lust-fogged state would enable, he grabbed her wrists and pinned them to the small of her back. The position jammed her tighter against him, settling her a little too close for comfort on the ridge of his straining erection. The blaze of excitement in the depths of her eyes threatened to annihilate his thinly reined control.
“I’m not fucking you.” He didn’t know who he was trying to convince more—her or him.
“But I need you.” Her bottom lip quivered. “So badly.”
He could feel the heat radiating from her, blending with his own blistering temperature. The pleading desperation in her words knifed through his gut. Ripped him inside out.
He couldn’t make love to her, but he also couldn’t leave her like this.
Heart thudding, he pressed his forehead to hers and dragged in a shaky breath. The drugging perfume of her arousal played havoc with his equilibrium. “I’m going to take care of you, but you have to swear to keep your hands where they are.”
“Why?”
“Just promise me. If you move them, I’ll stop.”
She gnawed her lip. “Maybe you better tie them, to be on the safe side.”
His cock twitched. The idea of pleasuring her while she was trussed up on his lap skyrocketed his internal temperature by a thousand degrees. He’d be damn lucky if he didn’t spontaneously combust before getting her off. He swallowed, his mouth more arid than the Sahara. Tearing his focus from Jana’s face, he swept the room, looking for something to bind her with. His attention fell on the discarded ribbon from her gift.
Following the path of his gaze, Jana peered over her shoulder. He wouldn’t have thought it possible, but her nipples pebbled even more behind the scanty covering of her halter. Licking her lips, she scooted to her feet and crossed to the ribbon, snatching it at one end. The previously innocent strip of fabric assumed a whole new wicked persona as she twirled it in her grip. She returned to his lap, lowering herself square on his erection with a provocative swizzle of her hips, reminding him without words that she didn’t require the use of her hands in order to make him break out in a cold sweat.
He took the ribbon from her, a half growl, half groan falling from him when she nibbled his jaw. “You’re not behaving.”
“I know. I’m a naughty elf, remember? Maybe you should have spanked me with your big candy cane.”
His cock wasn’t the only part of him that rose to the challenge of her playful taunt. A primal carnality swept through him, prodding him to give voice to the dark, dirty fantasies swirling in his mind. “Guess I’ll have to settle instead for burying my fingers in your hot little pussy.”
Her breath quickened.
That tiny cue to her arousal and excitement lit a hazardous spark to the depraved voyeuristic cravings he struggled so fiercely to keep caged. A visual feast waited for him between Jana’s legs, and he shook with the need to explore that wonderland. “Is your clit nice and juicy for me, Jana?”
She whimpered and wiggled on his lap.
Show me, baby. Show me how fucking wet you are. How ready that slick pussy is for my cock. The tormenting words remained imprisoned inside his head. There was no way in hell he could free them. If he did and Jana accommodated the request…there’d be no muting the demanding perversions that shackled him.
Anchoring her wrists with one hand, he wound the ribbon in place and knotted it firmly. He tugged the fabric lightly, ensuring it wouldn’t budge. Tracing the curvature of her spine with his other hand, he dipped his hungry gaze to her beckoning cleavage. One little tug on that bow and the bounty of her breasts would be unwrapped and available for his feasting. Much as he salivated at the prospect, he held firm to the reminder that a naked Jana would result in her impaled on his cock in minus zero seconds flat. Right now, that miniscule scrap of satin was the life preserver keeping his control from capsizing.
Control? What the hell was that? He’d lost what little he’d clung to the second he walked through Jana’s door.
And now look at you. Tying up women like the goddamn pervert you are. The phantom recrimination in his head was all too familiar, right down to its haunting similarity to his father’s voice. Kevin’s stomach clenched, sour acid burning his esophagus. It wasn’t until Jana’s lips soothed over his cheek that he realized he was crushing the furred trim of her skirt within his fist. He relaxed his grip, wishing he could so easily tame the tension seizing him.
“Everything okay?”
He couldn’t bring himself to meet Jana’s gaze. If she glimpsed even a fragment of the tainted past buried inside him…
“Kevin?” An extra layer of concern laced her tone. “Please talk to me.”
Cupping the back of her head, he kissed her softly, bringing her back to the sensual haze from moments ago. Yes, it was a tactic designed to distract her, but it worked. His hand disappeared beneath her skirt, seeking the titillating heat at her core. Two of his fingers eased inside her channel while another sought her clit. A moan fell from her as he rolled the slippery pearl under the pad of his thumb. Encouraged by her response, he poured all of his concentration into her pleasure. He was deprived the sight of her silky flesh, but he could feel every wet inch of her—and it was just as devastating to his sanity. Particularly when she arched her back, her inner muscles hugging his digits tight as she undulated in tempo with his pistoning fingers. His cock throbbed, jealous at not being on the receiving end of her erotic dance.
A mesmerizing image of her rocking her way to climax on his shaft implanted itself in his brain. Hot, ready to explode, she’d grind into his thrusts, bathing his cock and balls with her juices.
The vivid fantasy pulling him under, he lowered his head and sucked Jana’s nipple into his mouth, halter top and all. She gasped, the
tiny muscles in her pussy fluttering. Reaching behind her, he gripped her bound wrists, the dark, primitive streak from earlier roaring back with a vengeance. His teeth and tongue plying her satin-covered nipple, he fucked her hard and deep with his fingers, claiming her the only way he would allow himself.
“Oh God. I’m g-going to c-come.” No sooner did she gasp the words and she bucked in his grasp, her broken cry ringing in his ears while her strong contractions milked his fingers and her slick little clit beat beneath his thumb. With no warning, his cock pulsed before unloading on him—in his fucking pants. Unable to do anything more than shudder and groan, he held Jana tight while she rode out her orgasm.
Once the last of the quakes shook through her and she collapsed with a blissful sigh, he untied the ribbon and rubbed the circulation into her wrists before gently settling her on the couch. “I’ll be right back.”
She gave a sleepy, contented nod and snuggled into the cushion. He trekked to her guest bathroom and snatched several tissues from the dispenser. After taking care of the mess he’d made of his pants, he flicked on the faucet to the coldest setting and splashed his face. Water dripping down his neck and saturating his collar, he fisted the edge of the basin and stared sightlessly at the wet porcelain.
You had to touch what isn’t yours, didn’t you? You make me sick. The hateful, damning words from his past pummeled him, making him flinch. They weren’t in regards to Jana, but their appropriateness for his current transgression wasn’t lost on him.
The damnable part was he was a pro at keeping his hands to himself. Looking but not touching. It was the core of his existence. Of his identity. It sustained his needs and fed his fantasies. Except when it came to Jana. With her, he wanted so much more.
Panic and remorse vised his chest in an unforgiving hold, odd companions to the remaining dregs of lust fogging his head. All this time he’d pledged to keep Jana off limits. To not feed her hope for a future with him. But he’d fucked everything to hell.