by Nina Park
I gripped the steering wheel tighter until my knuckles were turning white. What sort of monster tried to rape a pregnant woman? I should have killed him right then and there, and probably would have if Madeline hadn’t been in the room. But she was, and though smashing his face in helped a little bit, it didn’t really quell the licking flames of hatred burning in my gut.
At least she’s safe. At least she’s with me.
It was the only comforting thought I had, really.
After a while of driving, Madeline finally spoke up, her voice small and hesitant. “You’re going to kill my brother, aren’t you?” she asked, her gaze ahead of her instead of turned towards me.
I frowned, not sure what to answer with. Of course I was, and I had the feeling she already knew that. Not wanting to lie to her, I nodded. “Yes.”
She fell silent again for a moment, then, “And that’s the only way? I mean, is it about the money, or something else?”
I wasn’t sure what she was getting at. I thought she had realized what sort of man her brother was. After thinking for a moment, I said, “It would be a lie to say it isn’t about the money. Even for those who love what they do, it is still, in some part, about the money. But that is not the only thing I take into consideration.”
“And what else do you consider then?”
I mulled the question over for a moment before answering, realizing how important it was. “It’s a little bit about justice, in a strange sort of way. Some people just need to die. They’re dangerous and have proved themselves to be nothing else. I can’t let that go, but I would be lying if I said I was only being noble or righteous. Because I’m not. I work for some dangerous people, Madeline. And these people are a big part of why I do what I do. I owe Mickey—” I slipped up, I realized, saying his name, but she was going to be a part of my life now. I’d already made up my mind on that, so I glossed over it and kept going. She needed to know who she was getting involved with. “—a lot and if he asks something of me, I won’t ask too many questions before I do what I do.”
There was a long pause filled with tense silence before Madeline spoke again. I was worried as she did, her next words a clue as to how all future conversations might go. “So you wouldn’t consider getting the police involved?” she asked timidly.
I glanced at her sharply and said in a flat tone, “No. Not even remotely.”
She frowned, turning in her seat so she was facing me. “What if it was reported anonymously? He could be locked away and you wouldn’t have to—”
I interrupted her before she went any farther. “Mickey won’t let the police be involved. Logan’s death warrant has already been issued. Now, it need only be served. And if not by me, someone else will take the job.”
She fell silent at that. We didn’t say anything else for the rest of the drive. I knew she wanted to find another way, one in which her brother survived, but there was nothing I could do about that. She loved him, yes, but he’d already wasted too much time and messed up in too many ways. There was no more lenience to be offered.
***
We arrived at the warehouse a little while later. It was still light and the first thing I noticed was that the streetlights in the immediate vicinity were out. None of them worked until several blocks down. I didn’t think it was a coincidence.
The second thing I noticed was the red truck parked out front. There was a second vehicle there next to it, a beat-up Chevy that I hadn’t seen before, but I imagined it belonged to Joshua. Other than those two cars, the place looked deserted.
I had the lights off on the car, though it was still running as I carefully crept around the warehouse looking to see what I could find. I noticed a broken window that could probably serve as my way in, and a back door that looked to be sealed shut. The front door seemed to be open, like they entered that way and didn’t bother to close it up after, but I didn’t want to risk going in the same way. Too dangerous, too obvious. No, I’d use the window.
Driving down the street a little ways, I finally turned off the car, but I left the keys there. Checking my gun, I spoke to Madeline who was sitting in the passenger seat, trembling. “All right, I’m going to go in. You’ll have to stay here—I won’t risk you in there if things go badly.”
She opened her mouth to protest, but I fixed her with a harsh stare. She closed her mouth without saying a word.
“I’m going to leave the keys here, just in case. If anything goes wrong, if anything seems wrong, I want you to run. Don’t go to the police,” I cautioned, sensing what a young woman, wholesome and sweet, might do in this type of situation. “It’s not just a matter of justice with the people I work for. If they figure out you gave them up to the police, the price will be on your head.” I didn’t tell her that I wouldn’t be there to save her, either. “Instead, keep your head down. There’s spare cash in the glove compartment. Don’t go home. Get out of town, use a new name. Start over.”
She looked terrified by all I was telling her. Tears pricked at her eyes as her hands overlapped her stomach, not yet swollen with the baby growing inside. The baby I now knew was mine.
Pride and sadness alike swelled within me at that thought. There was a chance I might die tonight without ever even seeing my child, but I pushed that thought aside, focusing on what I had to do. Pulling Madeline across the seat to meet me, I pressed my lips to her in a searing, passionate kiss. One that I hoped told her everything I was feeling in that moment.
I hoped it told her that she was mine.
When I broke it, her lips were swollen and her eyes fluttered. “Hide in the backseat,” I told her seriously. “If I don’t make it back, take the car and the money and run. And Madeline?”
She looked up at me with those huge, bright blue eyes.
Taking her hand, I moved it so it was palm up and put one of my two spare guns in the palm of her hand. “Protect yourself. Protect that child.”
Before I left, she grabbed me and whispered, “Please come back.”
I nodded once, then I was gone.
It was impossibly dark outside, so it took me a long moment to let my eyes adjust and get my bearings. Once I did, I spotted the broken window and made a beeline for it. Heaving myself inside, I dropped down quietly, my fall barely making a clopping noise. Even so, I ducked down behind a stack of crates three tall, waiting.
When silence carried through the entire place and no one made a move as though they’d heard me, I peeked around the corner of the crates. It was empty. Frowning, I straightened up and pulled my gun, searching the lower floor of the warehouse. Cursing quietly, I was about to reconsider my options—perhaps they’d gone somewhere else, maybe it was a different warehouse, maybe they’d dumped the truck—when I heard voices. Swiveling around, I found a set of stairs leading to an upper floor. Floating down those stairs were voices.
One of them I recognized as Logan’s.
I headed up the stairs as slowly and silently as possible, gun at the ready. As I moved closer, I caught pieces of their conversation. “I don’t want to do that,” said Logan.
The other man answered in an annoyed voice. Joshua. “We don’t have a fucking choice, man. This is your goddamn fault.”
There was a pause, then Logan demanded, “How the hell was I supposed to know she’d show up at the motel?”
I frowned as I continued my way up the stairs. She? I had a sinking suspicion that I knew who they were talking about and I was thinking I didn’t like why they were talking about her.
“Doesn’t matter,” Joshua again. “She did show up and now she’s a goddamn liability.” There was a long pause, then Joshua sighed and said, “She’s gotta die, man. You know it and I do.”
I tensed. This was a moment of truth for me. Joshua was willing to kill Madeline—which meant there was no question in my mind that he had to die, preferably in a horrible way—but Logan was her brother. Would he really go along with this?
There was a lengthy pause, but finally Logan spoke and sealed
his fate. “I know. But…I don’t have to do it, right?”
My blood ran cold. I thought of two little blonde children running around on a farm together. I thought of Madeline’s bright, sweet smile. I thought of my child growing inside her. Taking a steadying breath, I reminded myself that I got to Madeline first. She was safe and they wouldn’t touch her.
Not now, not ever. Tonight, I was going to kill them both and there would be no mercy for either of them.
I was about to enter the room, when I heard the creak. It was the step just below me. Before I even had the chance to turn around, I felt the barrel of the gun digging into the back of my skull.
Chapter 31
Madeline
I was sitting curled up on the floor between the two rows of seats. I was trembling all over, thinking of the things Nikolai had just told me. They were supposed to bring me comfort, knowing I was safe. I had the keys to his car and a stash of money. I hadn’t checked it, but I knew without asking that it wasn’t just a little bit of money. I could be out of here without even glancing back. I could be whoever I wanted. Wherever.
But the only place I wanted to be was with him.
The idea that he might not come back was eating me up inside. I had already been so close to losing him; I wasn’t sure I could take it again. First, I’d tried to push him away, terrified of this idea of him being a hit man, but things had changed dramatically since then. I’d broken my own heart before, but I’d found the pieces of it and put it back together again. I decided I loved Nikolai, only to be told he was dead.
It had nearly killed me on its own.
And now? Now, he was running into that warehouse with at least two dangerous men inside, both of them more than willing to kill him. And all along, he was making sure I was safe.
My hands made soothing circles over my stomach, massaging and caressing the soft belly that would soon grow. All this time I’d been terrified of a becoming a single mother, and that feeling hadn’t changed. What had changed was the reason why I felt that way.
I hadn’t wanted to disappoint my father, but now I didn’t care. If he were going to disown me for this, he never really loved me.
I didn’t want to struggle, to give up my dreams, to have to raise a baby when I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. But if that were what I had to do, I would do it. I would do my best, even if I messed up from time to time. I’d love that baby with all my heart and take care of it to the best of my ability.
I was scared of being a single mother because I couldn’t bear the idea of spending the rest of my life without Nikolai. How would I explain that it was my baby’s uncle who killed its father?
Tears sprung to my eyes and I got out one quiet sob before clamping my hand down over my mouth. I wouldn’t cry. I wouldn’t be weak. And I definitely wouldn’t draw unnecessary attention to myself.
Sucking in a shuddering breath, I pulled myself together.
I was going to lose someone I loved tonight, I realized. Either it would be the man I loved or it would be the brother I’d known all my life. I closed my eyes against the flood of memories of the two of us growing up together. I remembered climbing trees and swimming in the pond. I remembered ice skating and hay rides. I remember sneaking out and drinking with friends.
Where had it all gone wrong?
But then, I already knew the answer to that, didn’t I? It had started to go wrong when our mom died. Logan shut down, lost himself to despair. When he tried to crawl back out of it, he wasn’t the same boy I’d always known. He was meaner, crueler. It was like there was a ball of darkness lodged in his chest and the only way he knew how to deal with it was to take it out on others. I had always told myself he didn’t mean it, but now I wasn’t even sure that was true.
He just needs help, I had thought, trying to convince myself that the brother I loved was still in there somewhere. He needs therapy, rehabilitation. He doesn’t deserve to die, does he?
The fact that I wasn’t sure anymore spoke volumes about the state I was in and just how much had gone horribly wrong. I shifted uncomfortably on the floor of the car. The night was so dark and so quiet that it was really freaking me out. It didn’t help that now I knew there were terrible things that went bump in the night. Terrible things that my baby was going to have to deal with. Shaking my head, I tried not to think about it.
Maybe everything would be fine. Maybe Nikolai would take pity on Logan and let him go. Maybe Logan would go and seek help out on his own. Maybe Nikolai would love me as much as I loved him and we’d all live happily ever after.
A bitter laugh escaped my lips before I could stop it. I shook my head. What a ridiculous fantasy.
I froze when I heard a sudden shout. It was coming from the warehouse just beyond the car. Was it Nikolai’s voice I just heard? Was he in trouble?
“Oh God,” I said aloud. Was he going to die?
Before I could think better of it, I was struggling to unwedge myself from the tight space on the floor of the car. I needed to get out of there. I needed to get to the warehouse and run to help Nikolai. If he died while I hid and did nothing, I’d never be able to forgive myself.
When I’d managed to get myself out of the folded-up position on the floor, I scrambled over the bench seat in the back and opened the door. Just before I made a mad dash, I ripped the keys from the ignition and made a break for it.
If it weren’t Nikolai who was hurt, but rather someone else was and they were trying to run, I wasn’t going to make it easy for them.
That was the only really intelligent thought I had as I ran towards the sound. Nikolai had gone in through a broken window, dropping down to the floor on the other side, but I was nervous about putting that kind of weight on my stomach. What if it hurt the baby? Besides, I wasn’t sure what I’d be dropping down into and what if the landing wasn’t so soft?
Instead of the window, I went around to the front of the building and jerked on the double doors that led into the warehouse. It was a risk, but I decided it was the only one I could really afford to take. They opened easily, without even a lingering chain to suggest they’d ever been locked in the first place.
When I first came inside, I thought I must have gotten the wrong place. There was nothing inside the huge room used for storage other than a few stacked miscellaneous crates. I noticed that they were mostly pushed up along the walls and that the floors were dusty. The only thing that suggested to me that maybe someone had been here recently were the footprints. The floor was so dusty that even in the dim lighting I could make out the brief trail of cleared floor in the dark. They began at the window and led to something I hadn’t noticed before.
A set of stairs.
Hurrying forward, I rushed up the stairs. Now I heard the noises again. There was a crashing sound and some grunting. It sounded like a struggle. Fear settling in my gut, I moved as quickly as I could up the stairs towards the sound.
When I reached the second floor, I saw it was Nikolai. He was fighting with another man who was dressed in dark colors, blues and blacks as far as I could tell. The other man was about the same size as Nikolai, but he didn’t look as strong. At least, I didn’t think so. But they were fighting angrily, urgently. The man seemed to sense that the only way to stop Nikolai was to put him down for good.
The thought made me pale, nauseating me. I thought for a moment about running forward to try to help him, but thought better of it before reacting. If I inserted myself into the fight, what good would I really do him? Probably, I would just present myself as a weakness for Nikolai and a means of leverage over him for the other guy.
I was still debating the wisdom of trying to help when I spotted them. I saw Logan’s golden blonde hair first, just a shade darker than mine. His back was turned to me and running beside him was a second man. They were sprinting from the room, talking in low voices that I couldn’t really make out.
Nikolai was still fighting with the other man as my gaze darted between the two fighting men and the tw
o that were desperately running away. Every fiber of my being wanted to help Nikolai, but I already knew what a terrible idea that was. I wouldn’t do him any good by trying to join in the fight. If anything, I’d just end up getting myself badly hurt, and that was something neither of us would be interested in.
Plus, the baby…
Turning towards my brother who I could just barely see running around a corner, I considered my second option. If I didn’t stop them and they got away, Nikolai would have to track them to the next location. And the next. It could go on forever. I didn’t want my brother to die, but Nikolai would never stop. But maybe if I got to him first, if I reasoned with him about everything that had happened, if I got him to give back the money, he wouldn’t have to die. I didn’t care what Nikolai had told me in the car. There had to be another way.
Deciding that was my only course of action, I ran towards the two fleeing men. I spared Nikolai one last glance, heartened to see that he seemed to have the upper hand with the other man. I told myself he was strong, that no matter what, he would survive this.