I think that I now know the reason why I had that little episode back in the woods. He drove his force through me to let me know that he was gone. Only I didn’t know it was him. The pain in my heart was because that’s where the bullets had gone. Me dropping to the ground was him falling to his death. But I didn’t feel scared. I felt courageous and brave. I now know…
Angel.
18.
Singing a Sad Song.
Present Time.
“You are the bows from which your children are as living arrows sent forth.”
-Kahil Gibran
“We better bring her somewhere else,” Rayna stated and pointed in my direction. I was sitting on the front porch swing. It was only a day ago when my father and I had sat here and talked, ending the nights with a hug.
“I’m fine.” I said looking up as my father’s lifeless body was brought out into the light for the first time since his death.
His body was covered by a white linen sheet, a red stain where his heart was. I got up and jumped over the high fenced railing of the wrap around porch.
“Do we go after her?” I heard one of the Six say.
“No. We give her time and space.” Rayna said quietly. But I heard it. I hear everything.
“This can’t be happening.” I sat staring blankly out into the waters of the lake. There were tears pouring like rain down my face silently and without realizing that they were even there.
“But it is.” A distant voice came from behind me. I turned slowly to see whose voice it was. I should have know I’d be followed out here and whose voice it was. Huyanna.
Huyanna was the ancient wise woman of the clan. Our den mother. Our tribal medicine woman. She was everything healing, everything spiritual and supernatural.
She was tall and strong; both in spirit and mind. She was beautiful in age and soul. She had seen many battles and survived. She got her name when she was born; some of us don’t get a tribal name because they wait for the Gods to send us one. Not Huyanna. As soon as she was born the Gods gave her a name. She has no “white” name. She was born in the twilight air with the drizzling rains. Huyanna Sukari was the name she was given. It means “Sweet Rainfall”, and it fits her well.
When I was a child and knew nothing of the world I live in now, I would go to her hut and spend time with her. And the time that I had spent with her made me the “spiritual” person that I am now. Being around her was like laying outside on a long summer day smiling at the sunshine and feeling like there couldn’t ever be anything bad in the world. That’s how it always feels, still, when I’m around her. When she smiles, the warmth from her soul radiates and shines straight into your soul.
She had short hair that curled at the ends and colorful eyes that seemed to change like a mood ring. Everyday they changed. Today they were blue, as if they were reflecting the water and the sky around us. She dressed the part of the medicine woman, wearing long dresses with beads and colorful necklaces of painted clay, stones, and glass beads. She is now about nine hundred years or so old. Her smile offered a feeling of safeness to whom she directed it to. None like I have found anywhere else. I couldn’t help but to find myself smiling back at her.
I turned back to put my attention on the water crashing on the shore. There were people out on boats, in the distance, having a wonderful time in this weather. I wanted to walk out into the waves and let the water consume me. I didn’t want to be here. The smell of death was everywhere, and I know that sounds crazy, but it is the truth. A painful truth. Have you ever stepped outside and had this overwhelming sense of sadness? And you get the chills, even in the summertime? And something just doesn’t feel right? That’s when the smell of death is in the air, and to me, it is always there.
“You’re blaming yourself. Why?” Huyanna came closer to me, asking. She stood there watching the water with me.
I didn’t say anything for a few moments. I was quiet, contemplating and watching the waves still. The waves were shaping into wolves again running on the water, our ancestors. Coming to the death ritual.
“You should not blame yourself.” She hesitated. “It was fate that could not be escaped. What was, was, and what is, is.” She said, now looking down at me.
“I don’t want to be rude Huyanna, but I’m so sick and tired of all the cryptic crap and riddles. Why can’t anything just ever be said and have it be the truth?”
“Because you are not ready for the truth.”
“To hell I’m not!” I turned to look at her. Her deep blue eyes looking back.
“The truth always comes with time.” She said, her eyes never leaving mine and staying just as calm as can be. “For answers you have to look within Angel.” She stuck one of her fingers into my chest and the other onto my temple. “Are you ready to look within, or are you afraid of what you will find?” She raised one eyebrow at me.
“I’m not afraid. I’m just angry.”
“Come.” She said to me. She took my hand in hers and led us to her hut outside the forest next to the cliff above the water. The walk through the village was almost painful. The people of our village all stopped what they were doing and stared. All talk stopped. It was rare to see Huyanna out and about, and to see me with her now, she turned and smiled at me. My face never changed from the anger I was feeling. The sense of it followed me, and I have a feeling it would always follow me.
After walking through the village we finally came to her hut. Inside, a fire was burning and there was an array of incense filling the air. There was a hole at the top of the hut to let the smoke out, and to help circulate the good air coming in and push the negative out. All of the elements together in here surrounding her with power. The hut smelled of earthy scents. There were beaded feathers hanging everywhere you looked. There were jars full of herbs and stones and weapons that were leaning against the back of the hut. This was not her house, but this is where she practically lived.
She held the door open waiting for me to go in all of the way. I entered and sat down, like I always have. She followed, shutting the door behind her and sat across from me cross legged. Only the small fire pit and the burning incense separated us now.
“Take this.” She handed me a black feather. “Hold it close to your heart.”
“Why?” I asked her, I was already annoyed. Though I tried not to show it.
“Because after you were brought into this world, this feather fell from the skies above and your father took it from the forest floor before he came back to the village.” She paused, “And you’re now asking why it had fallen from the skies?” She looked at me, because she knew I had that question in my mind. She picked up some more incense and threw it into the fire. “That feather that you’re holding is a sign from the Gods themselves.” She started. “Everyone was right when you were born. You are not meant to be here, and you were not meant to be made. But here you sit. An abomination.” Well that makes me feel wonderful. “Because you were the first, you were considered special. To some you are a complete disgrace. To others, a messenger from the Gods. To your father, you were straight from the bosom of the Great Spirit. He believed that you are a direct descendant from the Pagan Gods.”
“We’re Native Americans.” I said.
“We are. You’re not. And that my girl means nothing.” She spat towards me, and continued on. “That night all of the elements came together. The winds picked up, the rain started coming in, the earth upon which your mother laid, and the fire your father brought. The Gods were speaking to us. I knew it then, as I know it now, and I will always know. You are a messenger. You are divine. You are a form of a Goddess. You are an answer to our prayers. A celestial creature. A deity. A supernatural being that was put on this earth to do good and fight for the greater good. To reunite races and go against the true evil that inhabits all of us.”
Her words weren’t sinking in. They weren’t really making sense. But I refused to believe that I was considered anything special or beyond
what I was.
“What…? I…no…this…no…” I couldn’t get the words out.
“You must believe this Angel. You are Godly. You gave way for others like you. Though they are just immortal and powerful. You made way for others to not be afraid to love one another and live.” She sighed. I didn’t know what to say. I sat there watching the smoke rise from the incense and dance around my face. She watched me intently waiting and waited for something to be said. But she spoke instead. “You will always be a child from both worlds.”
“What are you saying?” I asked her. I looked at her with confusion. I was distraught. “Why are you telling me these things? My father is dead now, and it’s like you want to toy with my emotions.”
“A hybrid with emotions…interesting indeed.” She whispered loud enough so that I could hear her.
“Just answer me this, could I have saved him?” I asked her.
“No child. Destiny cannot be escaped no matter how hard you try. Once something is written in the stars they cannot be undone. He knew, but did not want to share his visions with the rest of us.” She said, looking me in the eyes. “You have the sight my dear, use it.”
“I don’t know how.”
“Yes you do. You have been using it your whole life.” She pointed to the middle of my head. “You use it everyday, you were omce a girl who knew her power and how to use it to her advantage. Where has that gone?” She asked.
“Times have changed.” I added.
“Only if you let them.” She said. She looked up at the smoke rising to the open hole above. “Come, we must prepare. The Elders and the ancients are on their way for the ritual.” She said.
“What if I do something drastic?” I asked.
“Is this a trick question?” She asked raising her eyebrow.
“No.”
“Is this the same question you had asked your father not too long ago?”
“How…”
“I know many things my child. You must follow your heart and follow the signs. You will know when you get there. The signs don’t lie. Just follow.” She said.
“I’m getting sick of looking for signs. I think I want to be spontaneous.”
“Do whatever you feel you must. I will not stop you. But know that I will be there for you.” She stood up and smiled down at me. I, too, stood and she walked over towards me with her arms out stretched wrapping them around me and kissed my forehead. “You are like the daughter that I never had. After you are spontaneous, you will discover more truth than you can handle.” She said motioning her hand to the door for us to leave. “Keep the feather as well my dear. It will give you strength that you need on the journey ahead.”
“I will.” I nodded stepping outside hearing the lake and seeing the people gathering. There were hundreds that would be arriving soon for his funeral rites.
The Chief was gone. Dead. And now it was someone else’s turn to reign.
“I’m going to go and change for the rites my dear. You go and get yourself cleaned up.” She said to me. I nodded, and then she took off slowly towards her small house. This is going to be too much to handle. I may just lose it before the end.
“Angel, what are you doing?” I heard Scarlet’s voice come through the front door.
“Cleaning.” I stated. I was on my hands and knees with a bucket of bleach water, scrubbing the floor in the hallway between the kitchen and living room.
There was blood still stained into the hardwood floor. If it stayed there any longer I may not be able to clean it up.
“They’re getting ready for the funeral rite.” She said kneeling down and grabbing the sponge from my hand.
“Stop it! This needs to get done!” I said through my teeth, and grabbed the sponge back from her and started scrubbing again.
“Angel…” She started.
“No! You have to let me do this! You have to let me! I can’t let myself fall apart…I have to try and be strong. This is making me…” I almost started crying. “I can’t be strong like I used to be right now.”
“Yes you can.”
“Stop it.” I stood throwing the sponge into the bucket. Water splattered all over the floor. I said nothing else. I walked over to the stairs and jumped them all the way up to the top going into my bedroom slamming the door. Right now I just wanted to be left alone. I needed to mourn in my own way. And this was my mourning. Cleaning up the blood that was spilled all over, and trying to keep my cool with the scent that was lingering in my nostrils.
“Angel…” I heard James’ voice from the window sill. He was sitting there waiting for me.
“James.” I said running to him. He held me tight in his arms as I sobbed and gasped for air. I sank to the ground, and he fell with me, still holding me.
“It’s going to be ok…we’re going to figure out who did this.” He said in my ear.
“Today we gather here, in mourning of our brother.” The oldest of the Elders started. “Our friend.” The drums started sounding. “A father.” He motioned towards me. “And our Chief.” He looked around at everyone who was gathered here. Faces of those who were young, and the faces of the old.
I stood quietly at the head of my father’s body. He was laid out on a built stretcher of wood from the fallen trees of our forest. Tied with the vines and twine also from the woods. He was dressed in ceremonial robes with his head dress and dagger held closely to his chest. His hair long and lay down his shoulders.
“The winds come in on the back of our Great Spirit. The Gods look down upon us with their blessings and send us the strength to get through the days ahead.” He paused.
Huyanna held a sage stick in her hands lighting it and then waving the smoke with the wing of a hawk. She cleansed my fathers body and soul with it, pushing away any negative energy that may be lingering.
I felt empty. It didn’t feel right to be standing here alive while he was there, dead.
The head of the Elders nodded to me to proceed. Because I was his daughter, I had the privilege of setting him free. I walked over to him, and bent over his body kissing his forehead like he has always done to me. Then walking over to the fire pit near by, I grabbed the stick poking out. The end was lit. I walked it over to my father and lit the wood on fire. It ignited quickly. I stepped back, as did everyone else, and the crying started. There were wolf howls singing through out the woodlands of our land.
I need to know who did this, and if he knew it was coming. Why didn’t he say anything? Why would he let himself be a sacrifice in all of this madness that we’re all caught up in? Things have been so quiet here in, and around, our village for the longest time. Why now?
There had to be reasons. My whole life I’ve been taught that everything happens for a reason. But to lose the man that raised me and taught me how to live, and survive, in a world such as ours, and one filled with hate. I couldn’t handle it.
What I had said to Huyanna and to my father, I’m going to do. I’m going to do something drastic. I’m going to be spontaneous and give in to my bloodlust and go back to what I used to be. Living in civilization has made me go soft. Deep inside of me there is a monster that lives in the shadows. It’s time for the monster to break through the surface.
This monster is the answer to all our problems. You don’t get to the top by being nice. This monster may bring peace, or not. It will find the problem and end it. Then the monster can disappear and I can live in peace.
For the first time I understood how Scarlet first felt when her family was slaughtered in front of her. I get the whole vengeance thing now. My only “living” family member is gone. I’m alone now. So I’ll do what I was taught to do. Survive.
“Our brother’s spirit flies free now into the Northern winds. He is with our Great Spirit.” The oldest Elder continued on, “We are a blessed clan. And we are cursed. But we are loved and watched over by our great ancestors in the big skies.” He ended.
My father’s body was now gone
. There was no trace of him left. Just a fire burning, and a white mist above the smoke making it’s way to the open sky. People now started again, banging on the drums and playing the flutes. The dancing and the shifting began as well.
There was this part of me that wanted to stay and watch, but what was the point? My father was gone and I’ve never felt so lost before in all my life. At least when I was younger and traveling the world, I had him to come back to. Now I have nothing. I know I have the people here that are my family, and my friends. But to me it feels like we’ll be growing apart soon. Or maybe it will be me pushing them away.
But I care, and I don’t want them hurt in the process of my spontaneity. It’s something I feel I need to do.
Time has passed and I’m alone still.
It’s been two months since my father’s passing. I’ve barely spoken to anyone since, and Scarlet is staying here at the house with me. She believes I’ll do something drastic and crazy, so she thinks she can try and be me, when we first met, and be controlling and bossy. She’s not very good at it.
My room is dark tonight and there is no moon. Scarlet’s sleeping in the big chair across from my bed at the opposite end of the room, sound asleep. And the reason I know she is sound asleep is because her heart beat and her lungs are steady and slow.
To my right, there is an open inviting window overlooking the forest and lake. I suppose that now is the time to drastically spontaneous. I can’t just keep sitting here and waiting for something to happen. It’s been almost three months since whatever is haunting the forest has attacked, and the Vampyres are quieter than ever. I haven’t seen Draven in all this time.
It’s time to embrace the true meaning of hybrid.
Draven.
19.
Fate of the Blood Moon's Path Page 17