by Sarah Adams
Friday? As in three days from now Friday? No! It was supposed to drag on for a few more weeks. At this rate, it means I’ll be able to move back in before the baby comes. Do I want that? Does Drew want that? It would give us both a semblance of a normal dating relationship that way. He wouldn’t have to listen to my newborn crying overnight or deal with stinky diapers in his trash can. Is it wrong that thinking of leaving makes me want to cry? This was never supposed to be a permanent residence for me, and yet, Drew and I were never supposed to start dating either.
Rod and I talk for another minute and finalize all the details. When I hang up, all I can do is stare at the TV blankly. What’s the right decision here?
Drew finds me this way when he comes back in the room, and his brows furrow. “Who was on the phone?”
“My contractor.”
Drew freezes. “More bad news?”
I laugh, but there’s no humor in it. “No. My house is done. Well, nearly. It’ll be ready for me to move back in in a few days…” I pause briefly before adding, “If I want to.”
Drew’s eyes narrow, and he leans against the door frame of the kitchen looking way too sexy for any regular human. Thor, sure. Superman, totally. Man birthed by human woman, no.
“Do you want to move back home?”
Yeah right, buddy. Nice try. “Do you want me to move back home?”
He grins, pushes off the door frame, and walks toward me where I’m still lying on the couch. “It’s pretty insane to have a girlfriend officially move in after only two weeks of dating.” Maybe those words would have made me nervous if the playful glint wasn’t present in his eyes.
Instead, I let him pull me up off the couch and allow my smile to tilt. “Completely insane. Add in the fact that I’m about to have a newborn and it’s enough to have you committed somewhere.”
Drew wraps his hand around mine and pulls me toward his master bathroom. He picks up his toothbrush, hands me mine (because at some point during the last two weeks it started living in his bathroom), and then squirts toothpaste on both of them. Shoulder to shoulder we stand, brushing our teeth, taking turns spitting and then rinsing. Drew is the first one to speak again, and it makes me jump because I had honestly zoned out staring at his abs.
“You know…I’ve been thinking…”
“Oh yeah?” I ask, all innocence.
He leans his hip against the bathroom counter and folds his arms, and now it’s hard to pay attention again. “It’s going to be a huge hassle to move all your stuff again.”
“Huge,” I say with over-the-top enthusiasm. This conversation we are having is all for show. In case our friends and family have us secretly mic’ed and they play the tapes back later, they will be able to see that we really did talk about it.
He shrugs with half of his face hitched up in a Who cares? sort of look. “And honestly, with you being so close to your due date, it probably wouldn’t be very smart for you to go back to living alone.”
I nod aggressively like no pregnant woman has ever lived alone before.
“And I have all this space. I mean…it’s a waste if no one else is occupying the other rooms.”
“And the eggs…” I say, pointing a lazy finger in the air like Don’t forget about the eggs! He squints. He’s not following my train of thought. “You’ll have to throw out the eggs you don’t use in a carton because it’s wayyyy too many for one person. This way, you won’t be wasting eggs.”
His eyes widen and he nods his head up in down in newfound understanding. “Right! You’re so right. Gosh, you know…” Drew takes my hand again and pulls me toward his bed so we can both climb in like we’ve done every night for the past two weeks. “The more I think about it, the more I feel like you have to stay here. It just doesn’t make sense for you to move right now.”
I love, love, love the way Drew looks propped up against the headboard with his dark grey sheets pooling at his waist. I especially love when he holds out his arm for me to curl up next to him. I do, and I fit perfectly—even with my massive belly. And it IS massive now. The days of Are you sure you’re even pregnant? are behind me. No one tells me they think I should eat a second hamburger anymore. It’s actually really insulting.
“I think you’re right. And later on down the line, once the baby is here, I can always move back home.”
Drew’s body stiffens, and I feel his bicep flex. “You can?”
I look up at him with a grin and stage-whisper. “I’m just saying it for the mics.”
His brow immediately clears, and he nods like Thank goodness—but then when he thinks on that statement longer, he asks, “Wait, what mics?”
“Never mind. Don’t worry about it. All jokes aside, Drew, are you serious? You really know what you’re about to get yourself into, right? I’m going to have a baby in a few weeks.”
His face falls and he looks stunned. “A baby?! I thought you had a puppy in there this whole time.”
I scrunch up my face and try to tickle him, but he knows me so well now that my hand never even gets close to his side.
“Jessie, I’ve stopped trying to rationalize our relationship because it doesn’t work. There’s nothing rational about us, but I do know that I love you, and I already love this baby, and I want you here all the time. I want to help you with nighttime diaper changes and hold the baby so you can take a bath.” SOLD! Say no more! “I want to be there for all the little milestones. I just…I can’t explain it, I just trust us. In some crazy way, it feels like we’ve always been together.”
“I feel that way too. I’m trying so hard not to trust you, believe me—”
“Gee, thanks.”
“—but I can’t help it. And when my contractor said my house was done, all I could think was how disappointed I was.”
“I contemplated sabotaging the rest of the build just so you’d have to stay.”
Drew cuts off the light and we both sink down under the sheets. I run my finger lazily over the raised skin of his tattoo and try to convince myself I’m making a mistake. I try to think of all the worst-case scenarios and ways Drew could really screw me over—but nothing. Nada. My heart won’t grab on to any of them, because like he said, somehow I know we’re meant to be together. Even when my fears sink in, there’s a louder voice that says, This is where you belong, Jessie.
ONE WEEK LATER
“Jessie, are you sure about this? Say the word and I’ll cancel,” I tell her as I throw my bag in the back of Cooper’s truck.
She watches me with a calculated grin, looking fine in her short shorts and tank top hugging every gorgeous curve. I don’t want to leave her, especially not to go to a stupid bachelor party. Who cares if he asked me to be a groomsman in the wedding? I shouldn’t have to go to the party, right?
“Yeah right! I’m not letting you become that guy who bails out on everything now that you’re in a relationship. And I’m definitely not letting you use me as an excuse to avoid camping.”
I grin, agreeing that I mostly want to stay because I’ve become annoying and clingy and need to spend every free minute I have with my hands on Jessie, but a smaller part of me also wants to cancel because I’m not a camper. Neither is Cooper—we’re not exactly the most guy-guys out there and have been dreading this trip for weeks. I mean, we both like to hike, wakeboard, and do other things that will make me sound manly and rugged if it’s absolutely necessary to bring up, but given the choice between sleeping on my memory foam bed by my hot girlfriend or on the ground next to a bunch of dudes, I’m picking the bed.
Jessie steps closer with a soft smile and plants her hands on my chest. “It’s only one night.”
“What if you go into labor? I’ll be four hours away—not exactly a quick hop back.” I already know that technically the odds are slim that she will go into labor in the next 24 hours while I’m away. Jessie visited her OB yesterday and confirmed she wasn’t dilating. She’s still a week out from her due date, but I can’t help worrying a little.
; “Okay, well we both know I won’t go into labor, but even if I do, four hours will be plenty of time for you to get back to me. Lucy’s labor was what, like, eighteen hours?”
Lucy yells from somewhere behind me. “Twenty!”
“See! Twenty. You’ll even have time to stop and pick me up a sub on your way back.”
“You can’t eat once you’re in labor.”
“WHAT!” Jessie’s eyes bug out of her head. “Are you kidding me?!”
I chuckle and shake my head. “No. How did you not know this?”
“Better question, how am I supposed to not die while sweating and laboring all those hours without eating a sub!”
Lucy scrunches her nose. “I think you might be underestimating the labor process a bit.”
“What does that even mean?” Jessie looks adorably concerned. I’ve been trying to rein in all of my baby-delivery knowledge the past few weeks because I know I can hit level ten on the person who has too much knowledge and doesn’t know what to do with all of it scale, but now I’m wondering if I shouldn’t have held back so much.
Cooper comes out of the house with two travel mugs full of coffee. Because he’s practically my husband, I bet he has even added the perfect amount of my favorite creamer.
“It means eating is going to be the furthest thing from your mind.”
Jessie’s face looks panic-stricken. “So is it too late to cancel?”
“The camping trip? No.” I’m already pulling my phone out of my pocket. “I can just—”
She stills me with a firm hand on my arm, wide crazy-eyes staring up at me. “No! The birth! I changed my mind. I don’t want to do it anymore. Or maybe you can just whip me up a C-section real quick? Ooo, yeah, that’s a fun idea! You can do it for me. It’ll be a good bonding experience.”
I smile and pull Jessie into my chest. “You’re going to do great, Oscar. And I’ll be there the whole time, but preferably not with a scalpel in my hand.” I whisper over Jessie’s head, asking my sister to take Jessie for a sub sandwich tonight. “Just…if you start having any pains at all, call me. I’ll come straight home.”
“Okay, I will.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
Cooper and Lucy say goodbye on one side of the truck and Jessie and I do so on the other. I’m sure we look like teenagers after school, leaned up against the truck making out with our girlfriends. The neighbors hate us, no doubt. Somewhere a twelve-year-old boy is pressed against the glass and his mom is about to yank him away by the ear.
Once we are on the road, I fidget with anything and everything. The radio. My coffee lid, unscrewing and screwing it back on again. Cooper didn’t like it when the lid came off, giving me a death glare that warned I better not spill a single drop on his seats.
When I check my phone for the fifth time, he asks, “You okay?”
I look out the window, feeling like I’m leaving my world behind. When did this happen? How did I become this guy so quickly? The one who’s so in love he wants to ditch the rest of his life in favor of spending time with his woman? “Yeah. I think. I don’t know. I’m a little worried to be leaving Jessie this close to her due date.”
“Say the word and I’ll turn around.”
I smirk over at Cooper. “You’re supposed to be telling me there’s nothing to worry about.”
“Yeah, but I’m dreading this stupid camping party, so I’m totally in favor of leaning into your fears.”
I shake my head as I check my phone for the sixth time. Stupid. She won’t need me this soon after leaving. I need to chill.
“Seriously though, she’s going to be fine. She’s staying with Lucy and Levi, and you know Lucy will be obsessive in her care of Jessie.”
True. That does make me feel better. I let out a deep breath and turn on the radio. It’ll be fine. I’ll be back tomorrow night, ready to be by her side as soon as Jessie goes into labor.
“Okay, I’ve got the popcorn, I’ve got the candy, Levi is asleep, and now we are ready to binge on—” Lucy breaks off when she looks at me. “What’s that?” She points to my face.
I clear my pinched expression. “Hmm? Nothing.”
Lucy cocks her head to the side. “It looked like you were in pain…”
“Did it? How strange. Oh, you know what? I farted. You probably just saw me when I was letting it out.”
“JESSIE ALEXANDRIA BARNES—”
I gawk up at her. “Is that what you think my middle name is?!”
Lucy puts her hands on her hips and stares down at me over the pile of junk food on the coffee table. I’m on the floor sitting cross-legged against the couch because this is the only way I’ve been able to get comfortable the last few hours. “I don’t care what your middle name is right now—”
“Jane.”
“You tell me right now…wait, Jane? Are you serious? Your full name is Jessica Jane? What was your mom thinking? It’s like the female version of Jessie James.”
I shrug. It’s always stumped me too.
She shakes her head, resurfacing from her mental detour. “Jessie, are you having contractions?”
I squint one eye and make a thinking face. “No. I’m fine. Let’s start the movie.”
Lucy shakes her head with an uh-uh sound and goes to grab her phone. “No. Nope. I’m not falling for it. I’ve seen these movies and the best friend gets tricked EVERY SINGLE TIME. I’m calling Drew.”
A humorless laugh falls out of my mouth. “Go ahead! But I’ve been trying for the last four hours, and I haven’t been able to get ahold of him since the pain started.”
Phone in hand and pressed to her ear, Lucy slowly turns to face me. Her voice is dangerous when she speaks. “Are you telling me you’ve been in labor for the last four hours and you didn’t tell me?!”
“I didn’t want to worry you if it was just a false alarm. They were super irregular at first…”
“AND NOW THEY’RE NOT?!”
“SHHHHHH. You’re going to wake up Levi!” And any astronauts currently on the moon.
“Tell me, Jessie.”
I sigh deeply, knowing the second I tell her the number, Lucy is going to bolt from the room for my go-bag. She knows exactly where it is because she’s been adding little things to it all night. At first it was a cute overnight bag I got off Etsy. It had a pair of PJs, an outfit for the baby, and a toothbrush. Now, after Lucy has gotten her motherly paws on it, it’s stuffed so full of random baby crap that she upgraded my bag to a full-on suitcase. I’m going to have to wheel it into the hospital like I’m headed to summer camp because it’s so damn heavy.
“They’re coming every five minutes now.”
Lucy’s eyes double in size and then yep, she’s gone. Her feet thunder down the hall and then she comes back with my go-bag (go-suitcase) clutched in her hand, a pillow stuffed under her other arm, keys in hand. She zooms up beside me and starts trying to hoist me up off the floor, but I don’t budge an inch.
“UGH. Come on, Jessie!! WE. NEED. TO. GO.” She’s really using all her strength to try to lift me by the armpits. Poor thing can’t move me. “Geez, woman. Have you been eating nothing but marshmallows and chocolate for every meal?”
I shoot her daggers. No, vipers. “Real nice, making fun of the pregnant woman’s weight while she’s in labor!”
She softens and pets my hair. “I’m sorry. I love you, you beautiful goddess.”
“Better,” I say, folding my arms. “Besides, you forgot your son! Were you just going to drive off without him?”
She gawks like OMG I would never! “No. I was just going to…get you in the car first and then go get him.”
“Mmhmm. Well it doesn’t matter because I’m not leaving.”
“You’re not?”
“I’m not.”
Lucy sighs dramatically and sinks down to sit, throwing her hand over her eyes like she’s swooning on a 19th-century fainting couch. “You’re going to be as difficult as possible tonight, aren’t you?”
“I resent that.”
I’m not being difficult. I’m just not going to the hospital without Drew. The plan was, I would go into labor and Drew would carry my bags to the car, and then together we would head for the hospital where he would hold my hand for the entirety of my birthing experience. Drew not answering his cellphone and being four hours away was NOT a part of the plan. It wasn’t. So I’m sticking to the plan.
“Drew will be back tomorrow afternoon. I’ll wait until then to have the baby.” I’m staring at the blank TV like a Zen master.
Lucy cracks up at this. “You’ll wait?! Oh my gosh, you’re looney! You’ve completely lost it!”
I narrow my eyes at her. “I don’t like you too much tonight.”
Lucy slides down on the floor beside me and takes my hand just as another contraction hits me. It’s so strong and painful I can’t believe this isn’t even the worst of it. How am I going to do this? OH, JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!
Once I’ve thoroughly crushed Lucy’s hand, she gives me sympathetic eyes that make me start crying. She says, “You can’t wait, Jessie. I swear this baby will come out with or without your approval. Now come on, we gotta get you to the hospital. I’ll keep trying Drew and Cooper on the way.”
“WHERE IS HE?! I’M GOING TO KILL HIM,” I yell to Lucy in the hospital room during a contraction. I know, I know, never say anything in the midst of a contraction, but it’s like your brain short-circuits and you have no control of anything you say. I have a lot to apologize to Lucy for later. And the triage nurse. And the random lady in the elevator.
“I’m sorry, Jessie, I don’t know! I’ve been trying every two minutes. Just focus on your breathing and hold on to hope.”
I’ve been holding on to hope for two whole hours since checking in. It’s after midnight now and I’ve been trying Drew since five o’clock yesterday evening, and we still haven’t heard back from him. All I can reason is that he lost service while camping. Or he got eaten by a bear. Oh gosh, now I’m imagining Drew being eaten by a bear and I’m sobbing. I WANT HIM HERE!