by Jeff Strand
Mick smiled. Once-again, the light of science had saved the day.
AFTERWORD
JOHN PALISANO
Behind every joke there is a truth. Or so I′ve heard. ″Unnatural Tales Of The Jackalope″ began one morning while I was looking through calls for submissions for stories. I found tons and tons of listings for topics I′d seen done to death. I was so uninspired. How come there wasn′t anything interesting? What hadn′t been done? What would be fun and exciting and invigorating? Why wasn′t anyone thinking outside the norm anymore?
If I had a dream project, what would it be?
Jackalopes.
It sprung inside my head immediately. I′d always been fascinated with the little creatures after a road trip out west with my family when I was a little boy. We stopped at a gas station and I remember seeing a postcard on a display rack. I thought they were real. After all, we were heading to California, where all sorts of things everyone else thought were make-believe actually existed, right? Of course these little things existed, too. Why wouldn′t they?
So that morning I made the decision to edit my first anthology. Not sure what possessed me. Many of my good friends have edited anthologies, and I knew exactly the amount of work involved. I also knew that in this era, doing so is really an uphill battle. I didn′t care. I′ve forged my own way so many times before that this just seemed like a natural progression. How could it hurt? So I did a little experiment.
I posted a call for submissions on Facebook. On April Fool′s Day. Just to see what kind of reaction I′d get. Boy, was I surprised. So many great writer friends responded seriously. I was blown away by the interest. Now I′d have to go through with it, didn′t I? I′d opened my big mouth and I′d have to make good on my word. Fine. I was ready.
Me and the very inspirational artist Fawn sat on her couch and brainstormed possible titles and very quickly came up with what you′re reading. Then I realized I′d need a name for the imprint and thought Western Legends sounded just perfect to put out a book about jackalopes. We′ve got a couple more interesting things on deck brewing, and I hope you′ll all come along for the ride.
The recollections, stories, poems, and articles contributed to this book really surprised me. So much love and effort was put out. I′m floored. Everyone really brought their A-game to their contributions. I really hope whoever has had a chance to read this book has enjoyed it as thoroughly as we all have had in finding this curious collection of oddities. See you all further on down the trail.
John Palisano
Somewhere in California
Summer 2012
ABOUT THE CONTRIBUTORS
JEFF STRAND hates to break it to you...but jackalopes aren′t real. I know, I know, you′ve just read a whole book proving their existence, but, sorry, they′re just rabbits with antlers glued onto their head. You really should have figured that out sooner. I can understand little kids believing in Santa (because of that fat jolly guy in the red suit who delivers presents to all of the children of the world on Christmas who is often confused with Santa but is actually named Steve), but jackalopes? Really? Have you heard of those things called lives? Get one. Anyway, now that your reality has been shattered, head on over to www.jeffstrand.com to learn more about Jeff and purchase his non-jackalope books.
SEPHERA GIRON has 17 novels, numerous short stories and articles and many horoscope columns published over the years. She is a professional tarot counselor, paranormal investigator, private investigator, and mom. She loves to act and appeared in Greg Lamberson's SLIME CITY MASSACRE as Ruby, wife of the cult leader, Zachary who created the slime. Currently, her day job is as matchmaker information specialist. She has never met a Jackalope she didn't like.
http://www.sepheragiron.com
RICK PICKMAN Aside from being a fiction writer whose first short story sale was to the award-winning DARK DELICACIES anthology, Rick Pickman is also a graphic designer, photographer, and webmaster. His hobbies include remote viewing and raising rare fungi, and he is currently working on a novel about authors who write under pseudonyms.
RACHEL TOWNS is a Teacher from Melbourne, Australia. She was always a voracious reader of stories but is now becoming almost as insatiable with her writing. She has had three short stories published and is working on making that number much larger. She lives with her husband Paulo, and her two cats Biggles and Duck, who when they aren′t trying to take over the world certainly manage to take over her laptop. You can visit her on the web at: http://thestraggletag.wordpress.com/
KRISTI PETERSEN SCHOONOVER once searched for the jackalope while visiting her sister in Austin, Texas, but fortunately found only margaritas. Her fiction has appeared in countless magazines and anthologies. She has received three Norman Mailer Writers Colony Residencies and hosts the Scary Scribes podcast for Paranormal, Eh? Radio Network in Canada. Her work Skeletons in the Swimmin′ Hole is a collection of ghost stories set in Disney Parks; her horror novel Bad Apple is forthcoming from Vagabondage Books September, 2012. She′s also a member of the New England Horror Writers Association. More info: www.kristipetersenschoonover.com
BRENDA KNUTSON had vivid night terrors as a child and still has them as an adult. Only back when she was a child they were still called nightmares. In an effort to confront these horrific dreams, she took a horror writing class. Now she is able to have something positive come from something negative by sharing her ″fright nights″ with readers who actually enjoy being scared.
MICHAEL BAILEY is the author of Palindrome Hannah, a nonlinear horror novel and finalist for the Independent Publisher Awards. His follow-up novel, Phoenix Rose, was listed for the National Best Book Awards for horror fiction and was a finalist for the International Book Awards. Scales and Petals, his short story collection, won the International Book Award for short fiction, as well as the Best Books Award by USA Book News. Pellucid Lunacy, an anthology of psychological horror published under his Written Backwards label, won for anthologies for those same two awards. His short fiction and poetry can be found in anthologies and magazines around the world, including the US, UK, Australia, Sweden, and South Africa. He is currently working on his third novel, Psychotropic Dragon, a new short story collection, Inkblots and Blood Spots, and editing a second anthology, Chiral Mad. You can visit him online at www.nettirw.com
JACK HORNE Jack is married and lives in Plymouth, England, where he works for the local theatre. Quite a number of his short stories, poems and articles have been printed, and some have also been broadcast on the radio. He′s had a little competition success.
DAVID J. WEST is an award winning Pulp novelist & family man: In addition to his adventure historical novels, he has had a number of weird westerns, heroic fantasies, horror & sci-fi short stories published in various anthologies. He collects truths, swords, the finest art he can afford, and has a library of 6,000 + volumes because he likes the smell of old books.
You can visit him at http://david-j-west.blogspot.com/
ERIC S. GRIZZLE received his BA in English Language and Composition and his MA in Creative Writing from the University of North Texas. He has had several short stories published in various small press anthologies such as the Bram Stoker nominated HORROR LIBRARY VOLUME 3. He is currently living in the extreme heat of the desert southwest in southern Arizona where he teaches English to bored sophomores, juniors and seniors. Still, he remembers and often thinks of the rain in the Pacific Northwest.
AARON J. FRENCH is actually not French at all, and has dealt with that irony since grade school, so shut up about it, already. Okay?
D.T. GRIFFITH fantasizes about slicing fresh garlic cloves into paper-thin pieces with his daughter's ice skates to flavor your materialized soul for his felines' supper. Meticulous communicator on a usual day; dark and stormy fiction writer sitting rink side during the most ungodly hours. Inspired by children's acute awareness and the diabolical psyche of monsters, his tortured creative brain never shuts off. www.dtgriffith.com @dtgriffith
ERIK WILLIAMS is a Defense Contractor, former Naval Officer, Iraq War Veteran, and former Kenpo Karate instructor. He is the author of DEMON, WALKING SHADOWS, BLOOD SPRING, and numerous short stories. He has three daughters and is undergoing testosterone treatments to continue to feel like a man. Erik Williams is the Demon Squid.
ABBIE BERNSTEIN is a writer/filmmaker/entertainment journalist. She produced and directed the "Making of Robin of Sherwood" documentaries. She thinks jackalopes are swell!
MATT KURTZ is a lover of all things horror. When not writing twisted tales, he enjoys watching a frightening flick or reading a terrifying tome. His fiction can be found in anthologies from Evil Jester Press, Pill Hill Press, Blood Bound Books, Comet Press and Necrotic Tissue Magazine.
MISTY DAHL is a writer from Santa Cruz, California with higher than average high heels, who lives near the Cliffs of Insanity with her fire-breathing cat Lucy. She′s penned three NaNoWriMo novels and read a portion of her third book titled The Others as part of the NaNoWriMo series of interviews for Unbedtime Stories on KFJC 89.7 FM radio. She′s currently working on a new novel called Of Night and Light and the Half-Light and plans to seek publication. Her short stories, flash fiction and interviews will begin to appear this year in the fantasy, horror and dark fiction markets. You can find out more about her at www.mistydahl.com
FAWN is an award winning ASCAP singer, songwriter, composer and recording artist, who has shared the top of the Billboard Dance Charts with Lady Ga Ga, Mariah Carey and Janet Jackson with her song 'Wish U Love′, which went to #6 in 2010. The music video of the same song, remained in the top 10 on MTV's LOGO Channel for 5 months, with sales second only to Madonna the first two months of it's release. She won the JPF Music awards for Best Dance Album and Best Dance Single in 2009 and was nominated for the 2010 Best Dance Single for the Hollywood Music in Media Awards. She has won songwriting awards from Berklee College Of Music and SESAC for her ballads "Just Look At Us Now," "Playin' The Fool" and "Livin' With Out Your Love." In 2010 she won the VH-1 Behind The Music Songwriting Competition with her trance song "Into The Light." Her songs and voice can be heard in Film, TV and Commercials such as The Natalee Holloway Story, The Young and The Restless, Ugly Betty, Charlie's Angels, Supernatural, CSI Miami, The Little Red Wagon, Witchblade, Missing, Guiding light, Barbie, Ford, Mazda and Pontiac, to me a few. In 2011 she made a cameo appearance in the Award-winning Documentary film "How I Became An Elephant." She was also chosen as the 2011 Cover Model of The Year for LIC Magazine and appears in the 2012 Coffee Table Book entitled 'A Day In My Shoes, Pumps and Pups'. www.fawnmusic.com, www.myspace.com/fawnakasongirl, www.myspace.com/bodysoulandmind, www.facebook.com/fawnmusic and On IMDB: Fawn II
JEZZY WOLFE is an author of dark fiction ...with a predilection for absurdity. Her stories have appeared in such magazines as The World of Myth, The Odd Mind, Twisted Tongue, and Morpheus Tales. She has also been published in a variety of anthologies, such as Graveside Tales′ HARVEST HILL, THE 2009 LADIES AND GENTLEMAN OF HORROR, THE BEST OF THE WORLD OF MYTH: VOL II, Library of the Dead′s BACONOLOGY, the Choate Road fun book, KNOCK KNOCK...WHO′S THERE? DEATH!, and Smart Rhino Publishing's debut anthology, ZIPPERED FLESH: TALES OF BODY ENHANCEMENT GONE BAD! Currently she writes reviews for Liquid Imagination, a fantasy and speculative fiction magazine.
A life-long native of Virginia Beach, Jezzy lives with her family and quite a few ferrets. She is a ferret advocate, and is involved with several related projects, including a blog and storefront for ferret owners and lovers, known as FuzzyFriskyFierce.
You can visit Jezzy Wolfe on her author′s blog at jezzywolfe.wordpress.com, on her FuzzyFriskyFierce blog at FuzzyFriskyFierce.wordpress.com, or visit her storefront at www.cafepress.com/fuzzyfriskyfierce
DEAN M. DRINKEL, published author, poet and film director. His plays based on characters from "The Crumps" have been staged in London and theatres around the South of England. Dean currently spends his time between London and Paris and more about him can be found at http://deanmdrinkelauthor.blogspot.co.uk/
MIKE D. MCCARTY works as an artist and show supervisor at one of the top make-up effects companies in the film industry: KNB Efx Group Inc. His list of film credits number well over 100 and include films like Grindhouse, Kill Bill 1 and 2, Sin City, The Mist, Hostel 1 and 2, and Piranha 3D. Besides having a cool day job, Mike also enjoys being a writer. Anything from short stories to movie scripts. He lives on a ranch outside of LA with his lovely wife Grace, dogs, Mac, Brody and Hooper, and horses, Ace and Joe. When he's not writing, or killing people in movies he can be found riding his Harley. His debut novel WEREWORLD BOOK ONE: GEMINI RISING is coming from Bad Moon Books.
JASON MONES is a professor of painting and printmaking at Dowling College. His recent paintings focus on the current economic and political environment, ultimately exploring a broader interest in the human condition. Jason currently lives in Brooklyn, NY. His work can be seen at: www.jasonmones.com
CASIE SMALLS works for Xyxxyx College in the heart of Arizona, where he teaches a course on Local Biology for ranchers and farmers. In his spare time, he has gained notoriety for cataloging sightings of rare creatures throughout the American Southwest, as well as running a site dedicated to the plastic harmonicas of the 1970s. Don′t ask him if he′s related to Biggie. People have been hospitalized.
JOHN PALISANO has 13.2 short stories out there, a novel, NERVES and a novella, THE BIPOLAR EXPRESS, with more oddities to come. Unless the Jackalope King tracks him down. Then it′s game over. Because of that factoid, he′s currently in the Witness Protection Program until all this blows over.
www.facebook.com/WesternLegendsPress
Table of Contents
THE ARTISTS
DEDICATION
AN INTRODUCTION FROM CASIE SMALLS
THE LONELIEST JACKALOPE
RUNNING WITH JACKALOPES
THE NIGHT MY JACKALOPE AND I FOUGHT THE CHUPACABRA
THUMPING
THE THING INSIDE
BEWARE OF THE DANGER!
THE MASCOT
THE EASTER JACKALOPE
TANGLE CROWNED DEVIL
MILES AND MILES STILL
NEW JACKALOPE CITY
JOHNNY VERSUS THE CREATURES
WAYWARD GULCH
CAUTIONARY TALES
THE HOLY CARROT AND THE HORNED HARE
WAR DANCE
THE JACKALOPE AND THE JELLYBEAN
DEAR JACK
HAROLD AND LINDSAY CRUMP IN:
DRAWN TO THE LIGHT OF SCIENCE
AFTERWORD
ABOUT THE CONTRIBUTORS