Love Disorder

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Love Disorder Page 9

by Yuriko Hime


  "Why are you acting like this?" I asked. Okay, probably an insensitive question to say, but the Doctor did mention that I could be normal around her. This was what I'd normally say.

  "Would you rather I be a bitch?" she said, grabbing a fork. "You have to eat. We're going to do a lot of things today."

  "No, I don't want you to be a bitch. It's just refreshing to see you happy for a change. Just saying."

  "And you're pretty grumpy for someone who slept in and doesn't have to cook breakfast. Just saying." I rolled my eyes at her, and she smiled. "See, I like that kind of reaction," she said. "Don't treat me like I'm insane or special, ever."

  "I never said that," I defended.

  "You were thinking it."

  "No way." I took a fork and a knife of my own.

  We've barely eaten when she said, "So what's your type of person? I recall you saying that you're not in a relationship yet."

  I chewed thoughtfully. "I don't really know. How about you?"

  She sipped her milk before answering. Blaze liked milk. Uno liked coffee. The Doctor said that the identities liked different things. I should take note of what Blaze and Uno wanted, to satisfy them. See Riri? This could be manageable after all. "I don't know," she said. "I've never thought about being in a relationship. Making friends is hard enough." She looked excited as she glanced at me. "But now that you know, we'll have so much fun."

  I felt a twinge of pity for her. It must have been awful to shift from one identity to another. Doctor Sanders informed me that when an identity takes over, the other identity didn't know what was happening. Like having amnesia. Maybe that was why Uno kept pushing me away. To protect them. "What kind of things will we do?" I said.

  "I'll show you in a bit. Finish your breakfast first. I made it for you."

  Blaze's idea of fun involved walking around her property. The trees weren't dense like I imagined when I first arrived here. They were spaced enough to make it easy for us to walk through, but still numerous to make me think that we were somewhere secluded. "Did you have them make it like this on purpose?" I asked as we walked side by side. I noted that Blaze tend to stroll and whistle while she glanced upwards to the sky.

  "You mean the people who built this place? Nah." She shoved her hand in her jeans pocket. "The property was like this when I bought it. My only contribution was the house. It was supposed to be made primarily with glass, but whenever she'd take over, she'd ask the contractors to build everything with stone. You can see the result." She, meaning Uno?

  "If you're not comfortable discussing this with me, you can always say no. I just want to put that out there," I said, so there wasn't any confusion.

  "It's actually refreshing to have someone to talk to. Kind of like your mom. It's the other one you should be wary of. She really hates talking."

  I halted. "I'm not my mom, Blaze. I want you to understand that."

  She noticed that I stopped, making her turn around to face me. The hair that usually framed her face fluttered gently from the wind. We stared at each other. I was daring her with a look to express her disappointment. Give me your best shot, I said with my eyes. I could handle the criticism. I wasn't as great as mom. A poor replacement really.

  "I know you're not her," she said. "You're prettier." Was she serious? Her blue eyes told me so. The way she stared at me sent a shiver running down my spine. She stuck her tongue out. "But you do smell worse."

  "What?!"

  "Catch me if you can," she said with a laugh, then bolted out of my reach. I ran after her.

  She was taller, faster, and more game at this than me. It wasn't long before I lost her. I stood in the middle of the trees, searching. "Blaze?" I said. "Where are you?"

  "Over here." Her voice sounded like it was coming from the left. I ran in that direction. "Not there silly," she said. Her giggles echoed around me.

  "I give up," I said loudly. "I don't want to get lost." She went silent. I could only hear the rustling of the leaves and the chirping of the birds. I slapped the back of my neck where a mosquito landed. "Blaze?"

  She didn't answer.

  I didn't move from my spot. "Blaze?" I called again.

  "Boo!" she yelled, tackling me to the ground. The leaves softened our fall.

  "You're really—"

  "Insane?" she supplied and smirked.

  "Unbelievable."

  She pouted. "Are you mad? This is the first time I can do this with someone close to my age. I didn't have any siblings, and your mother was more of an aunt." She stared at her shoes. "I can't really say that Uno and I can play. I don't even remember how she spends her time."

  That was so messed up. I breathed deeply and patted her leg. "I wasn't mad. But tell me, is it going to be like this from now on, you playing pranks on me? You've been doing it since we've met," I said, unintentionally bringing up the kiss that never happened. Butterflies formed in my stomach. Weird. I've been experiencing it way more because of her.

  "I'd rather call it playing," she said. "Will you always try to find me every time I disappear?" It wasn't an ordinary question.

  "Yes, yes I will," I said firmly.

  "Good." She offered a hand. "Just for that, I'll reintroduce myself properly. Hi, my name is Blaze. I'm a celebrity. I like sweet and pretty things. And for the record, I think you smell really nice."

  "So does that mean you like me?" I asked sweetly, poking her ribs. "You said before that I was pretty."

  "Yeah, pretty hilarious." She dropped on the ground and stretched her arms wide, as if she was forming a snow angel with the leaves. "I'm sorry if I'm cold to you sometimes."

  "I thought that was Uno?"

  "Mostly," she agreed. "But sometimes I have to protect us too. I couldn't just say it to you could I?" She closed her eyes. "You'd think I'm crazy. I'm so scared that you think I'm crazy right now."

  "Not really," I said honestly. "I think all people are crazy at one point. We just operate in different degrees of insanity."

  "What makes you crazy then?"

  I thought hard about her question. I shook my head and touched my cheek, taking the opportunity that she had her eyes closed. "I can't say for sure. I'll tell you when I'm certain about the answer."

  "Sounds good."

  I continued staring at her. She looked peaceful on the bed of leaves. I rested beside her, careful not to disturb the arrangement. "Are you serious about appointing me as your manager? I'm young. Even Doctor Sanders may not approve."

  "Doctor Sanders think you're legal. What she doesn't know won't hurt her. Besides, you're turning eighteen soon. What's the problem?"

  "Nothing, I just. . . I'm nervous. This is my first time."

  She opened her eyes and slowly turned her head to me. "This is my first time too," she murmured. God, why was she so pretty? It was illegal for a girl to be this pretty, to the point that other girls find her hot. I bit my lip and looked away. At this close, her perfection was clearer. "You know sometimes I wish that we're all born without bodies," she said. "That we're just small orbs floating around."

  "That's weird. We won't know who is who."

  "There will be some kind of distinction. You'll know who it is. The point is, people will like you for who you are, not for how you look."

  I glanced at her. "People don't like you only because you're beautiful. I, no, we can all tell that you have a good heart. It reflects in how you act and treat people. That's why the fans love you."

  She snorted. "Say that again when you find someone who will fall in love with me after knowing what kind of monster I am."

  Chapter 12. Deeper

  It has been a week after I've discovered about Blaze and Uno's separate identities. During those days, Uno hasn't shown herself yet. I was more than happy to keep it that way. I didn't want to play any favorites, but I wasn't sure how to deal with Uno's crabbiness. I might say or do something to upset her. Not having her around was best for now.

  I was seated on the living room couch, skimming through the newe
st magazine. Blaze was across from me, smiling at something from her laptop. She would burst out laughing from time to time or point at the screen and mumble something under her breath. I glanced from my magazine to her. It felt like the right time to discuss things.

  "I think we should take this seriously," I said.

  "I do take our relationship seriously. You're number one in my heart baby." She ducked as a pillow came flying her way. Blaze loved to tease me, and I loved to show how much I liked it by throwing something at her when I had the chance.

  "Someone's moody today," she said, placing her laptop on the sofa. "Okay, I'm all ears." As much as she liked to joke around, Blaze was a good listener too. I learned that as she forced me to talk about myself the other night. She ate popcorn while she listened to my story about being adopted at a young age, and having no other known relatives except for mom and what Carter offered me with his.

  "I'm not talking about relationships. I'm referring to your career, genius."

  "Why thank you very much. Except you should probably tell the genius part to Uno. She'd love to hear that. I'm the artist, and she's the scholar."

  "Are you taking me seriously or not?" I threatened to throw the other pillow next to me.

  "I am. What about my career do you want to talk about?"

  I've run this through my head a couple of times in the last few days. I was ready when she asked. "I've been thinking about your next project," I said. "From what I've researched, the last movie you made was shown four months ago before mom died. Did she mention your career move? I'm also concerned about my role as your manager. I'd like to know what my responsibilities are."

  "Oh. That." She crossed her legs. "I don't have any projects in store yet. Before manager passed away, she was thinking of improvement."

  "What do you mean exactly?"

  "Hmmm. Maybe I should give you a rundown first." She stood and stretched before plopping back on her seat. It gave me a good view of her well-toned stomach. She didn't need any improvements there, I thought appreciatively. "What are you staring at?" she asked.

  I glanced at the magazine. "Nothing. Give me the rundown please."

  "Oh yeah, I've almost forgotten. You see in the land of show business, people think that when you get an Academy Award, you're automatically on top." She shook her head. "But that's not it. In the inner circle of actors and actresses, aside from awards and fortune, we have a popularity status check. Right now in my age division, Bianca is the most popular, putting me in second place."

  "And how do you know that? Blogs? Surveys? Critics? What?"

  "You'll know when you know. They'll throw a party for you. They've been throwing a party for Bianca for years."

  "They? Brangelina? Ellen and Portia? Give me the bigger picture here."

  She shrugged. "I don't know. I just receive the invitation from your mom. She gets it through mail I guess. I rarely have something delivered here." At her mention, a memory jogged in my head. Mom always received some sort of package when she was alive. She'd always say that it was work-related, so I didn't bother to ask. I wasn't the biggest snoop. My best friend was.

  "Manager Chance wanted me to be number one instead of Bianca."

  "Uno," I murmured.

  She smirked. "Which is funny when you think about it. I'm the actress, but Uno was given that name so Doctor Sanders and Manager could tell us apart. The name Uno should have been mine, but I didn't want it." She ticked off her fingers. "One, I don't deserve it. Two, I have a name already, and that is Blaze. My parents call me that." Her face darkened at the mention of her parents. I didn't pry.

  "So if you're the actress and Uno is the scholar, then how do you manage to shoot a movie when Uno is out?"

  "She acts too," Blaze said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "She has no choice. Manager pushes her to do her best. In turn, I have to study to complete our course. If I don't, then Uno won't act for me."

  "That makes sense," I said.

  "Yep, but we have to be careful to keep our secret. You know how fast reputation can change. I can't allow anyone in. They'll say I'm crazy."

  I stood and went to the nearest glass wall. We've eaten breakfast an hour ago. My tummy was full. It was beautiful and sunny outside, yet my heart was not at ease. I wanted to help her in any way I could. I pressed my hand on the glass and said, "If mom said something about improvement, maybe she wants you to come back with a new and better image. You feel me?"

  "I'm not allowed to. You're seventeen."

  "Blaze," I said wearily.

  "I'm kidding," she said. "Yes, I know what you're trying to communicate with me earthling. I'm open to any suggestions about the improvement."

  I stared at the grass and trees outside. For someone like Blaze or Uno, this would be a good place to hide. But maybe someday it wouldn't be a prison, but a paradise for her. Mmmm. What was I thinking? I needed to focus on our goals, and right now the goal was to make improvements so she could be number one.

  "Give me an hour to gather my thoughts," I said to her. "We'll talk again after."

  After agreeing with me, Blaze continued browsing on her laptop. In the meantime, I went to my room to grab a pen and paper, and went back to the couch to make a strategy. Bianca, I wrote in the middle of the paper. If the goal was to surpass her, it would be wise to see what made her the best.

  I glanced discreetly at Blaze. If it was looks we were talking about, she was better looking than Bianca in my opinion. That piercing blue eyes of hers could turn from gentle to intriguing in a second. I admit that even when she was in Uno's identity, she was still sexy. Sigh. And those lips. I stared back at my paper. Stop daydreaming and focus.

  Okay, what was next after looks? The clothes. I wrote Clothes above Bianca's name. Bianca was known for wearing designer clothes. Being a person who was interested in fashion myself, I approved on her wardrobe. Blaze on the other hand. I checked the beautiful actress across from me. Black on black, on black, on black. Someone must have died and forgot to invite her on the funeral.

  I noted on the paper to work on her clothes. We should find the right outfits that would still make her comfortable. She was tall and slim. Compared to actresses who had problem areas with big thighs or arms, Blaze was near perfect. It wouldn't be that hard to dress her.

  What else made Bianca lovable? Aha! I scribbled the word Attitude on the paper. Bianca was always seen smiling. She was a darling when caught on camera and was rarely seen with other facial expressions aside from being happy. She was also pretty cool when I met her. But then again Blaze did say that she was a basket case. Maybe that was insecurity talking and not really the truth.

  If we were to make Blaze number one, maybe she should start smiling more. I nodded to myself. That was it. What else? Face. Clothes. Attitude. There had to be something more. I snapped my finger, making Blaze look questioningly in my direction. I ignored her and wrote, Fans. The way she communicated with fans was the most important ingredient. We needed to have good PR.

  "Hmmmm," Blaze said, loud enough to catch my attention. "Hmmm."

  "Are you joining a Gregorian band?" I said. "You keep making that tone."

  "Are you done yet? It's almost an hour."

  I stared long at her before coaxing her with my finger. "Leave your laptop," I said. She was all smiles when she went beside me. I showed her the list. "What do you think?"

  "I don't read Hieroglyphics, Riri. Kindly explain what you've written."

  I rolled my eyes. I've been excited while writing on the paper. It came out like a scrambled mess. "Meanie," I said. "Okay, I've listed down the areas for improvement. We can use this to make you more popular than you are."

  "Yeah but." Blaze tapped the paper. "Why did you write face? You think my face needs improvement?" She frowned. "I can't believe you think I'm ugly."

  "No," I said. "I don't think that. I've written it for another reason."

  She leaned away and crossed her arms. "Then say it."

  "Say what?"


  "That I'm beautiful." She batted her lashes and waited. For some reason it was hard for me to just say it loudly while she was looking at me like that. My face turned hot. "I'm waiting," she said in a singsong voice.

  "You're not ugly," I rushed. "Back to our strategy." I buried my gaze on the paper, feeling her studying me. Tsk! I cleared my throat and said, "For our first strategy, you need to change your clothes."

  She chuckled. "I've always known you have a thing for me too. Where do you want me to change, here or in your bedroom?"

  "Joke one more about that and I'll bite your arms. I swear," I warned. She shrugged but continued smiling. "I was thinking of introducing new colors into your wardrobe. You always wear black. It's not really good for the image."

  "But this is comfortable," she whined. Blaze tugged at her shirt, trying to show it to me as if I was blind. "Black goes with anything."

  I didn't believe her for a second. "Any other reasons why you prefer this color?"

  She chewed on her lower lip. "Fine! It makes me feel safe. Stop laughing at me in your head."

  I sighed. "Don't assume that I'm always laughing at you. No one is laughing at you." I glanced behind me. "You see anyone laughing at you? I'm not. Although I can't understand how black make some people feel that way, I do know that everyone has quirks. Yours is just. . . A lot." I took her hands and squeezed. "But if you want to improve, you'll consider my suggestions."

  She lowered her gaze. "You win. But just a pop of color here and there. I don't want to vomit rainbows."

  "That's good to hear," I said happily, putting a note on the paper. At least she was going to try. That was a huge step. "Where do you shop anyway? We should visit them soon and check for new clothes."

  "I shop online. The clothes were delivered to Manager Chance. I don't really go out that much because I hate the paparazzi. If Uno and I can agree on something, that's it."

 

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