by Yuriko Hime
"Play with me Riess," Erin said. I wanted to slap my face after hearing my childish voice. Well Erin's childish voice. However, she was the one who was driving the vehicle that was us for now. If the others were in control, all I could do was watch, as if I was in a movie. This would happen whenever we switched- Blaze, Erin, and me. I liked to call them the others.
Riri's eyes flashed with understanding. This was another reason to love her aside from her kindness. She knew instantly when the others and I would switch. She was a keeper. Riri stepped into the room and offered a hand to us. Of course I couldn't reach for it. I only watched in the sideline as Erin took my girlfriend's hand. "Sure," Riri said. She helped us up. "What do you want to play, Erin?" I felt Blaze's presence as Riri and Erin walked us out of the padded room. Blaze loved her as dearly as I did.
"I want to play computer," Erin said.
Blaze stirred, as if in disagreement. I knew why she was feeling that way. It was in the middle of the night. Riri should be sleeping. "No," I said clearly in our head, so the message would reach the others. "Let her rest." Blaze agreed with me. Though Erin was in control of our body, she was outnumbered, two to one. She could always do it her way and be selfish, but we've all agreed to take each other into consideration.
Erin sighed. "Never mind," she said to Riri. "I'm tired. Let's go to bed." Riri nodded and walked us to the mattress. Once we were positioned comfortably, she draped the comforter over our chin and kissed us on the forehead. "I love you Riess," Erin murmured before closing our eyes.
I heard Riri say, "I love you too Erin, and you Uno and Blaze." That made us happy.
It wasn't always like this. Before, only Blaze and I were able to switch. We didn't know that Erin existed until the Holy Angels incident. Also, when Blaze and I fought for control, one would usually sacrifice and sleep. When Blaze was out, I didn't know what she was doing, and vice versa.
Now, through Riri and Doctor Sanders help, even though I wasn't in control, I was able to watch what the others were up to. I didn't have amnesia anymore. It was a huge relief. Sure, I couldn't move the body if I wanted to, but at least I could give my input and still know what was going on. Another thing was the dream. It was Erin's memories, but it was quickly becoming our own. She hid it from us for years.
When I woke up the next morning, I was fully in control again. The smell of coffee was strong as I walked into the kitchen. Riri would usually prepare coffee in case I was the one who would show up. If it was Blaze, she brought out the carton of milk. Erin loved juices, especially the ones with small bits of pulp.
Riri was humming to herself by the stove. She didn't notice that I've arrived. I took a second to stare at her. Her legs were flawless. Blaze projected her thought to me. It wasn't a loud word, but I chuckled nonetheless as I got what she was saying. "You're also dirty when it comes to her," I said in my mind. Erin remained silent. She usually was when we thought of Riri that way.
Riri turned around and gasped when she saw us. I smirked at her. "Good morning Strawberries." It has become a joke to us. Riri closed the stove and went in front of me. I enjoyed the way her arms wrapped around my neck, and how her breath smelled as she kissed my nose. Blaze stirred deep inside of me. She was getting excited because of Riri. I decided to block her thoughts so I could focus on the fine specimen my girlfriend was. "What's for breakfast? You?" I squeezed her butt.
Riri bit her bottom lip. "We have to do it quick if we want to be on schedule," she said. I heard the want in her voice. Saw the way her gaze clouded.
"That's too bad then," I said, moving away from her. Riri pouted, and Blaze was projecting thoughts to me, trying to break my barrier. Blaze was set on saying that I was stupid for passing the chance to be with Riri. I retained a poker face as I went to the table. It was hard for me to apologize, yet I did it anyway because it was for Riri. "Sorry," I mumbled rigidly. "I just don't want you to be late for your special day."
Riri smiled at the reminder. "Maybe they can wait," she said naughtily. Goodness, she really wanted it. My girlfriend licked her lips. "Maybe dessert has to come first."
I weighed in my option. Damn, I shouldn't even think about it. I returned her mischievous smile. "Get on top of the counter," I said huskily.
Blaze was in control when we arrived at the shop for Riri's special day. I agreed to let her do the job, just as she agreed to let me kiss and shower our Goddess with love earlier. Blaze was needed for this activity more than me. She was better at socializing with people, which we needed for the opening of Riri's clothing store. Bianca, Carter, and other people were already there when we arrived. The first two were Riri's partner for this business venture.
"I can't believe a lot of people came," Blaze said as we hurried to the shop. There was already a crowd forming outside. Carter helped us get in so we wouldn't get mobbed. I was a mere spectator as Blaze waved and smiled at the fans before closing the door. Somehow they heard word that Riri was opening a business, and Bianca and I were in on it.
Riri hugged Bianca and Carter's sisters. As for Blaze, she walked us to Carter and had a chat with the guy. I was rather fond of him nowadays. He was a good friend, even a brother to Riri. Blaze would glance at Riri from time to time, giving us an opportunity to admire her. Erin appreciated the gesture too.
Somewhere in the middle of the opening, we held Riri's hand. "I'm proud of you," Blaze murmured near her ear. We felt Riri shivering against us. It sent a thrill on our own body. "You're going to do great. This business is the start of everything."
Riri caught our eyes. "No Blaze. You, Uno, and Erin were the start of everything."
Blaze surrendered the control to me as we went back in the house. The party was finished. The opening a success. I didn't want to say that it was because of my presence and Bianca's. It was Riri and Carter's marvelous designs that drew in the crowd. Since they saw my gown at the red carpet, Riri's name has been all over blogs and magazines. She was the most promising designer right now. My presence and Bianca's just added fuel to the flame.
Riri closed the car door and stretched her hand skyward. "Done," she said. "I feel so beat. I can sleep a hundred years." She turned to me. "What do you want to do, baby?"
I went beside her and grabbed her hand. "Go to the tree house with me."
"Okay."
I glanced at her as we went deeper into the property. Her eyes were wide with excitement, and her hair was stuck on her forehead because of the soft wind. "I hope you're not that beat," I said. "I want to congratulate you properly for the shop's opening."
She flashed me a smile. "I'm never too tired for you."
We were both out of breath from walking briskly, but we reached the top of the tree house in record time. It has improved remarkably since I've first completed it. If the walls were bare before, it had designs on it now, mostly drawings made by Riri that I've asked her to do when we'd come here. I removed my shoes so the pillows wouldn't get dirty. I saw Riri doing the same.
She collapsed on the small mountain of plush pillows. "You want to do it here?" she asked, her eyes twinkling. "You're always finding new places to do it lately." I could imagine Blaze jumping in my head with joy. She liked making love to Riri too. As much as I wanted the same, I had to remove my mind from down south and focus on Riri's face.
"That's for later," I said, sitting beside her. "I want us to read something first." Riri cocked her eyebrow quizzically. I reached for the box near us and took out its single content. "This is your mother's diary," I murmured, placing a notebook on my lap. "The attorney handed it to me the day before. He said that he had forgotten to pass it to me when the Will was read. He was devastated with his own loss. Manager was his friend too."
Riri glanced thoughtfully at the diary. It was a simple navy blue with a hardbound cover. "Really?" she said with recognition on her face. "Back then you were really grouchy, and my whole world was crashing, so I barely noticed what was going on around me."
"I know," I said, keeping my smile from sh
owing. I opened the diary on the first page and showed her the message. DON'T READ THIS UNTIL YOU AND RIRI ARE READY. "See?" I said to Riri. "There's a reason why the attorney forgot to give it. Apparently, we weren't ready."
She exhaled. "You think we're ready now?" She tapped the diary.
"As ready as we'll ever be." I waited for her to say yes. When she nodded her approval, I turned to the next page, and together as it was meant to be, we read her mother's diary. Riri and I didn't speak as Mrs. Chance unfolded the truth about the past. She supplied the missing pieces to our memory.
Mrs. Chance was a new employee of the adoption center. Fresh from overseas, she wanted to find a new life for herself, and felt that she could be at peace from her own troubled past by helping children. In Holy Angels, she met us and Riri. According to her, Riri and I were super close. We ate together, bathe together, played together. Two peas in a pod.
But something was horribly wrong. The ever inquiring Mrs. Chance suspected that we were being maltreated. The children didn't want to tell because they were afraid of Prestuso, and because Mrs. Chance was a new employee, she didn't have the chance to know where the hidden bruises came from. When a child died because of the sadistic man, she went to the police. Afterwards, they discovered the sickness that has been going on inside the four walls of the institution for years.
I turned the page.
Determined to find us a new home, Mrs. Chance contacted Gerald and Simone. They only took one child, me. Mrs. Chance could also only care for one child because of what little money she had, so she chose Riess. I was sent to live with Gerald and Simone, with the condition that Mrs. Chance wasn't allowed to bring up my past, nor introduce me to anything or anyone that might remind me of it, except for her.
At that time, I've already had repressed my memories. It wasn't until I was eighteen that I was properly diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder through the help of Doctor Sanders. But by then, Erin never came out, taking our memories of the past with her. And so Blaze and I were left alone, frightened, and not knowing that the person we protected was being cared for by Mrs. Chance.
I closed the diary and breathed long and deep. Riri settled her lips on the hollow of my throat. She too couldn't believe of the things we've experienced. "In the end, my mother wanted us to meet again," she murmured. "Mom made sure of it in her death. And you know what's even funny? She didn't give our house and all our possessions to charity after all. She just asked Mr. Meyer to say that so I'd be forced to live with you. He admitted it to me recently."
"Your mom wasn't a saint, but she was a pretty close one. I don't even want to think about what could have happened if I didn't meet you again."
She inhaled sharply. "I know. . . Let's visit her grave tomorrow."
I nodded. It felt like she gave us the chance in her death to continue the life that we should have had. It was a pity that she had to die in order for me to agree on taking Riri. I had to reconsider my attitude. "Yes you should," Blaze's thoughts echoed in my head. "For Riri."
"After the movie, the opening of the shop, being on top of the Hollywood circle, and all that has transpired in our lives, what's next for us?" Riri said. She kissed my neck while waiting for me to answer.
"I don't know. Another movie perhaps? The film we finished was part of a set, right? It won't be long before they contact us again."
"Perhaps," she said with a smile on her face. "By the way, I've been making another dress for the mannequin in my workshop. I think you should wear it. It's going to be my best creation yet. Maybe forever."
"Okay, tell me when it's finished."
I slipped a hand in my pocket. Didn't she know? I knew that she was making a gown for me. A wedding gown. But I was one step ahead of her, always was. I felt the small box with my fingers. I didn't know what was in store for us in terms of career and my condition, but one thing was for sure. If I was going to spend my life, I wanted it to be with her. "All of us want it to be with her," Blaze corrected. I wrapped my arms around Riri, my thoughts merging with Erin and Blaze.
Acknowledgement
I have a lot of people to thank for this book! Oh gosh. First on the list is my fiancé who never gave up on me throughout the months of its conceptualization. I know that it is hard to share an office with a writer. It is part of the job. Next is to Lory Curtis who made the beautiful cover. I loved it from the start Lory. I hope we can do another project soon. To Dennise Gonzalez, my newfound friend and confidante, thank you for the research and interviews conducted for the subject matter. My life became easier because of your help my friend. To my sister who herself is a great Psychologist. I had you in mind while creating Doctor Sanders, though you are far too fashionable for the latter. And lastly, to the president of my fans club Kim You, and all its members. You guys always make me smile.
Reference:
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition/ DSM V
Changes from DSM IV to V- American Psychiatric Publishing
Psychology Today
Medicine.net
Clevelandclinic.org
Psychcentral.com
Webmd.com
Nurselearning.com