by E. L. Todd
“That’s in love with you.”
I took an involuntary breath when I heard what he said. My lips parted with a gasp and my eyes expanded to twice their normal size. His words were so ridiculous I couldn’t even process them. “Sage, that’s absurd.”
“Is it?” he pressed.
I laughed because it was ridiculous. “Trust me, Volt doesn’t see me as anything besides his annoying friend. He makes fun of me every single day, and he sleeps around with anything that moves. When we first met, he told me I was a weirdo. I think I gave you the wrong impression because of what happened last night. But I promise you, we’ve never done anything like that before.”
“That isn’t the only reason why I feel this way.”
I didn’t have a clue what that other reason was. “Okay…”
“I see the way he looks at you.”
I rolled my eyes. “Volt is just protective of me. After my last boyfriend, he doesn’t want me to get hurt again.”
“What happened with your last boyfriend?”
I didn’t want to get into it when we were just starting to date. Talk about a mood killer. “He cheated on me.”
“I see…” Sage’s eyes filled with sadness.
“Volt was upset about it and took matters into his own hands…” Even though Drew deserved it, I wish Volt hadn’t done what he did. “And he’s just worried about me getting hurt again. That’s all.”
Sage’s shoulders started to relax and the coldness disappeared from his eyes. “I guess I can understand that.”
“I’m sorry I gave you the wrong impression. But there’s really nothing between Volt and I. I love him and he loves me—but in very platonic ways.”
“Okay,” he said. “I believe you.”
I saved this date from total destruction. I just wish I wasn’t stupid enough to say anything about Volt to begin with. “So…are you free on Tuesday? I’d like to take you out…so we can have a redo.”
Finally, he smiled. It was the kind of joy that reached his eyes instead of staying on his lips. “I’d like that.”
Crisis averted. “Great. Me too.”
Chapter Three
Volt
Clay began the critical thinking part of the exam. He had to read an article and determine the tone and intention the author was trying to portray. Thankfully, we worked on the vocabulary section for a long time. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been able to read a single sentence.
My mind was somewhere else the entire time he worked. I kept thinking about the way Taylor stabbed me in the heart when she left my apartment the other day. We spent the entire Sunday lying in bed together or watching TV on the couch. She even forgot about her date until the day was nearly over.
And then she left.
Was I stupid for thinking that Sunday afternoon actually meant something? I made her breakfast in bed like I would every day if she was the woman I woke up next to. I ran my fingers through her hair and even told her how I felt about her.
But she didn’t take me seriously.
Honestly, I was hoping she would forget about Sage.
And when I thought I got what I wanted, I was thrilled. Then it was taken away from me in the blink of an eye.
She didn’t want to stay with me.
She wanted to go.
“Volt?”
“Hmm?” I turned back to Clay, unsure how long I’d been drifting.
“I’ve been trying to get your attention for, like, a minute now.”
“Well, now you have it. What’s up?” I ran my fingers over my temple, feeling a migraine that emerged from my heart rather than my brain.
Clay studied me, his hand still holding the corner of the page like he was going to flip it. He marked up the page with the blue pen I’d given him, underlining the parts he was unsure about as well as the key points he needed to answer the questions.
When he didn’t say anything, I spoke again. “What’s your question?” Over the course of the past few months, he’d dropped his smartass attitude and became more open with me. Instead of watching every move I made because he didn’t trust me, he finally took down his walls and breathed easily around me. He was a different kid altogether.
“Seems like something is bothering you. Did I do something?” The vulnerability in his voice, something he never let escape, crushed me.
“No. Not at all, Clay.” This kid had become an essential part of my existence. When I wasn’t with him, I worried about him, particularly on the weekends. I wondered if his father was treating him well. I always gave him money on Friday so he could get through the weekend, and I just hoped it was enough. I cared about him more than I could stand. It was the kind of concern that actually hurt. “There’s something else on my mind…”
“You want to talk about it?”
“No, it’s okay.” I wasn’t talking about my love life with a sixteen-year-old.
“Oh… I thought we were friends.”
“We are friends,” I said quickly.
“Well, I tell you stuff…but you don’t tell me stuff.” He looked down at the page and picked up his pen again.
He was right. This was a two-way street. And I suspected he didn’t have any friends besides me. “It’s about a girl.”
He looked up again, interested.
“I…kinda have a thing for her, but she doesn’t notice me.”
“Been there, done that.”
“I’m not sure what to do about it.”
“How can she not notice you?” he asked with a laugh. “You’re good-looking and rich. What else can a girl want?”
I smiled. “Did you just give me a compliment?”
“Uh…shit. I did.”
“Hey. What did I say about cussing?”
He rolled his eyes.
“And looks and wealth don’t matter when it comes to women.”
“That’s a load of crap.”
“Well, they don’t matter when it comes to this woman.” Taylor cared more about inner beauty than anything else, and I seriously lacked in that department. She’d only seen the ugly side of me, the broken man that had his heart ripped out of his chest. I turned ice-cold after I got my heart shattered, and that’s all she’d ever known. If we met before all of that happened, things would have been different. Much different.
“What does this woman want?”
“A nice guy.” In a nutshell.
“But you are a nice guy.”
“Not really.” I was selfish and superficial. I was the first one to admit all my faults. Taylor was out of my league, and I knew it.
“I think so,” Clay said. “No one has ever paid any attention to me…at least in a good way. You help me every day after school and give me food. No one cares about me except you.”
His words were both beautiful and devastating. “Clay, that’s not true.”
“Yes, it is,” he whispered. “And we both know it.” He turned back to the page and kept his eyes averted.
“Your teachers care about you—”
“They hate me. I’m just some annoying poor kid that sits in the back of the class.”
“And your father—”
“He only uses me to get money from the government. And he pisses it away on drugs and liquor. He doesn’t care whether I live or die.”
How this kid was still going floored me. He was in my office, trying to make a better life for himself. After saying all of that, I’m not sure where he got the motivation. “I’m sure you have friends who care about you.”
He shook his head. “I’m on my own.”
There I was complaining that I couldn’t be with the one woman I actually wanted while Clay was fighting to survive every single day. I didn’t know true misery, not like him. “You’re never on your own, Clay. You always have me.”
***
Clay grabbed his rusty bike from the bike rack, and we walked up the sidewalk together.
“How about we get you a new bike?” It didn’t look like it would last much long
er. It was rusty and old, and the chain popped off every two seconds.
“No, it’s okay.”
“I really don’t mind, Clay.”
“If I come home with a new bike, Dad will wonder where I got it. It’s just best to leave it alone.”
His dad wouldn’t want his son to have something nice? I would never understand those kind of parents. I’ve heard of them before, but I’ve never been in so deep like I was now. “Let me know if you change your mind.”
“It’s easier having crappy stuff anyway. I never have to worry about someone stealing it. When you don’t have nice things, people leave you alone.”
An Aston Martin was sitting in my garage at that very moment. It was a beautiful car I hardly ever drove, but I had the wealth to afford something I didn’t even need.
Now I hated that car.
And I hated myself for owning it.
“Want to get something to eat?” I didn’t have time to pick up food before our study meeting.
He shrugged. He never asked for anything even though I made it clear I’d get him anything he wanted.
“How about Mega Shake?” It was just at the end of the block.
“Cool,” he said. “I love that place.” There was a skip in his step when he knew he was getting dinner.
And that made me sad.
“Volt?”
I could recognize that voice anywhere. It was in my dreams, and when I was awake, it echoed in my mind.
I turned around and saw Taylor standing there. She had her big bag over her shoulder, and she wore a light blue dress with a pink cardigan. Her clothes were always two sizes too big and didn’t highlight all of her natural curves. Sometimes I wondered if she was specifically trying to hide them.
Her hair fell over one shoulder, like always. A breathtaking smile was on her lips, making her eyes crinkle in the corners. Standing right in front of me was the one woman I wanted but couldn’t have. I hadn’t gotten laid in so long I couldn’t remember the last time it happened. I had every right to go out and snag a beautiful woman, but there was no one else I wanted.
I only wanted her.
She came up to me with that smile still on her lips.
I forgot where I was and what I was doing, just standing there in awe. When I looked at her, I froze on the spot, unable to determine reality from fiction. She made me nervous and awkward at the same time.
She turned me into a different man entirely.
“You all right?” she asked when she was just a foot away.
I snapped out of my daydream and cleared my throat. “Sorry, the sun was at a weird angle…couldn’t really see.” The sun was setting the opposite way, but I needed something to say.
She didn’t challenge me. “What are you up to?”
“Uh…” I couldn’t remember, actually.
Clay chuckled from beside me.
And that’s when I fell back into place. “Clay and I were about to get something to eat.”
Clay laughed again, knowing I was acting like a total idiot. “Yeah. We’re going to Mega Shake. Wanna come?”
He hated any adult he met, so I knew he understood exactly who Taylor was.
Taylor looked at him, and whatever affection she had for me was amplified tenfold for him. “I’ve heard so much about you, Clay. It’s great to meet you.” She extended her hand and shook his.
“You’ve heard that I’m a super smart and good-looking stud?” he asked with a grin.
Taylor laughed. “Yes. That’s exactly what I heard.”
“I teach Volt the ways of my charm—whenever I have time.” He was still sitting on his bike with his backpack hanging off his shoulders.
“That’s very nice of you.” Taylor was immediately smitten with him, just like she was with all of her students.
It was nice having Clay there because the focus was taken off of me.
“Let’s get something to eat.” Clay turned his bike and started pushing it toward the restaurant. “I’m starving.”
“Good call.” Taylor trailed behind him and walked beside me.
I put my hands in my pockets, feeling out of place standing so close to her. I could smell the usual scent of vanilla and oranges from her soft hair. I could feel the bristle of the breeze every time she moved. I was innately aware of every little thing she did, even when she took an innocent breath.
I couldn’t believe there was ever a time when I didn’t feel like this.
We walked into the diner and ordered our food before we sat down in the booth. Taylor sat beside me, and Clay sat across from us. He kept looking at Taylor, just as interested in her as I was.
“What do you do for money?” Clay asked as he ate his fries.
“What do I do for money?” Taylor asked with confusion.
“Yeah,” Clay said. “What’s your job?”
“I’m a teacher,” Taylor said. “I teach at Bristol Academy.”
Clay grimaced. “Bunch of preppies…”
“Clay,” I warned him. “Don’t be rude.”
“I’m not being rude,” Clay said. “Kids who go to private school are preppies. Everyone knows that.”
Instead of being annoyed, Taylor continued the conversation. “Those kids in private school aren’t any different than you.”
“Whatever,” Clay said. “They’re a bunch of smart, rich kids.”
“You’re smart too.”
“Am not,” Clay argued.
“That’s not what Volt tells me.” She smiled as she looked at Clay.
The conversation started to feel comfortable, and without thinking twice about it, I rested my arm over the back of her chair, touching Taylor on the nape of her neck.
I realized my mistake, but it was too late to fix it. At least she didn’t notice anything.
“Really?” Clay asked, his eyes moving to mine.
“What can I say?” I said with a shrug. “I talk about you.”
“And say bad things?” Clay pressed.
“Nothing but good things,” Taylor said. “He’s very fond of you.” She smeared her fries in ketchup then popped them into her mouth.
I’d give anything to be those fries.
Clay asked her more questions about the school she taught at, and then the conversation turned to the SAT. They got along well, better than Clay and I got along when we first met. Taylor had a natural aura that made people feel comfortable in her presence. Perhaps it was a maternal atmosphere. Or maybe it was the way she spoke. I didn’t know.
Maybe she cast a spell on all of us.
Clay finished eating then pushed his tray away. “I better get home. Thanks for dinner, Volt.”
He always said thank you. And that was something I didn’t need to teach him. He was proud and stubborn, but he was grateful and appreciative. That’s how I knew he was a good kid underneath all that street talk. “You’re welcome, Clay.”
“Nice to meet you, Lady.” He winked then walked out.
When he was out of our sight, Taylor turned to me. “He’s cute.”
“Just don’t tell him that.” He wouldn’t like that description one bit.
“I understand why you’re so determined to help him.”
“He’s a good kid in a bad situation.”
“I see what you mean.” She finished her food then picked at a few of my fries.
If someone else ate off my plate, I’d be annoyed. But this woman could do whatever she wanted. And she definitely was doing whatever she wanted.
“Any bruises?”
“I haven’t seen any in awhile.”
“Good.” She sighed in relief. “I’m glad he has someone watching over him.”
It was sad that I was the only one. “Everyone needs someone. And I’m his someone.”
“You know what?” She turned to me, those beautiful blue eyes sucking me in. “You’re my someone.”
“Yeah?” We were close to each other in the booth, close enough that I could kiss her if I had the balls to do it. I kissed her t
he other night and felt her kiss me back. Why couldn’t we do that now? Why couldn’t we do that all the time? Why couldn’t we do that for the rest of our lives?
Shit, I was in deep.
“Yeah,” she said. “You’re my someone. You know, that person I can always rely on to look out for me.”
“And you’re my someone.” My only someone.
“Good thing we have each other.” She turned back to my tray and ate a few more fries.
Why could we have these conversations but not be something more? How could she sit this close to me in a booth but not feel what I feel? How did those feelings just disappear? How could she date someone else?
I wanted to ask about Sage, but I didn’t want to hear her answer. What I really wanted was for her to say they weren’t seeing each other anymore. That would be the best news I’ve heard in a while. “How was your date?”
“It was okay.”
Okay? That didn’t sound good. Was I an asshole for being excited by that answer? “Something go wrong?”
“We just got into an argument over something stupid…”
“Such as?”
She shook it off. “Nothing important. But we’re going out again on Tuesday.”
Ugh. What a tease. “Did you sleep with him?”
What the hell was wrong with me?
Why did I ask these questions when I didn’t want the answers?
Why was I torturing myself?
“No,” she answered. “On our last date, he wanted to come inside, but I didn’t want to rush it. We’ve only seen each other a few times. I went too fast with Drew and looked what happened there.”
I seized the opportunity. “You’re right. You should go slow. Like, really slow. Maybe even wait until marriage.”
She laughed because she thought I was joking. “Maybe even wear a chastity belt.”
“Even better. Wear it at all times, just in case.”
She laughed harder. “I’ll just hide it under my clothes and wear it when I’m in my bikini. People won’t think that’s weird.”
“I think it’s the best idea I’ve ever heard.” As long as she gave me the key to unlock it.
Her chuckles died down. “What have you been up to?”
“Nothing much.” Just hating life.