2 Minutes to Midnight

by Steve Lang

  “Check this out. Think it still works?” James said.

  James had a pistol in his hand resembling something a kid would buy from a toy store. He turned away from the group and fired down an alley. What came out of the barrel was a blue beam about twelve inches long that zipped away down the alley knocking a brick off one of the houses.

  “This gun is so cool. You guys have to get one of these.”

  “No one bothered to clear the bodies when these people died. This must have been bad.” Kate said.

  James shot the dead guy in the street, blasting a hole in the husk of his body, and what came out of the hole looked like giant spiders with radiant, glowing blue eyes on stalks. They skittered in every direction hiding from the light. One of them ran up to Kate, who quickly smashed the alien bug with her boot.

  “Oops, sorry little guy. Real scientific, James.” Kate said.

  “This must have been what Ziggy Stardust was talking about.” James replied.

  The other two were looking at him with flat expressions.

  “The spiders from mars? Nothing? You two have no culture.” James shook his head.

  “I think they had a resource scarcity, and started fighting.” John said.

  “Pure speculation, John. You don’t know what happened. It could have been anything.” Kate said.

  “There’s a house. Let’s go in and see if they left us any clues.” James said.

  The home they entered resembled a brownstone with beautiful granite facing, and carved wood columns supporting the front porch roof. Two rocking chairs sat like timeless placeholders of an era lost, covered in layers of dust. James thought the interior had an aroma like an old book as it was waved beneath his nose. Nostalgia swept his senses.

  “I know there’s nobody home, but I still feel like a trespasser.”

  James noticed a black box standing about six inches tall and wide on the living room table with a blinking green light.

  “What do you suppose it is?” Kate asked.

  John entered the room with a device appearing to be a cross between a toaster, and griddle.

  “Look what I found, it’s a toaster thingy. Hey, what’s up with the box?” John asked.

  James walked over and picked the box up. When he did a small eight inch tall figure of a woman garbed in an ornate silk robe appeared. She had been crying, and was speaking to the camera.

  “Your department, Kate.” John said.

  “Shhhhh, I’m listening.” Kate growled.

  “She’s saying if you see this message the doors have been sealed to Rasga, and we have three months of food left. The newsmen said the planet’s atmosphere would be burned away in twenty-four hours. If you are a family member, please go to Hashbeth Hall on the far side of Tetjran city, and meet us there. Most of the planet is evacuating, but we have chosen to stay, and pray we survive. This is our home.” Kate said.

  The transmission ended. The three earthlings stood in a circle around the blinking black box, their mouths agape.

  “How horrible. They were trapped here?” John said.

  “It sounds like it was a choice they made. Probably not wise, but I don’t know what I would do if something was about to happen to earth.” James said.

  “Now, I have to know what happened to the Martians.” Kate said.

  “Well, we can keep looking in here, or go to the large building at the end of this street. I say we go out and look around at the cliffs with Endeavor, and maybe I can do what they sent me here for, look at some rocks.”

  A decision was made to explore the structure at the end of the street. Once the astronauts reached the large granite building, they walked up a wide staircase, marveling at architecture which modeled ancient Roman construction. Columns carved from solid black stone of unknown origin held up a granite triangular roof, and across a short marble tile landing the team was confronted by a thick, ornately carved, and lacquered oak door.

  “Where did they get the wood for this door, its amazing!” James said.

  The giant door creaked open when he pulled the handle, and once inside James and the others realized they had found what appeared to be a library or hall of records. One foot tall holographic images of a well-dressed Martian woman sat in the center of long tables. She appeared to be waiting for someone to speak to her.

  “The lady on the table is freaking me out. You two see how her eyes follow us?” John said.

  “I feel like this entire place is haunted by ghosts. You know, like zombies might pop out at any minute and get us for trespassing on their grave.” James said.

  “Will you two stop, please? You’re freaking me out, and it’s bad enough we’re on a dead planet. I don’t need the two of you stirring up images of horror movies, too.”

  Kate found aisles of books, and began looking through stacks of ancient, but well preserved tomes. John discovered what appeared to be a computer but it had only a keyboard attached to a small black cube with a crystal on top. He hit a button on the keyboard and a holographic librarian appeared. She began speaking, but he did not know what language it was, and the characters on the keyboard were hieroglyphic.

  “Guys, I found some books that might be interesting.” Kate said.

  She walked over the table where John was sitting.

  “I’m not sure what this lady is saying. Can you help?” John pleaded.

  “Its voice guided. She’s telling you to say records for records. Say periodicals for periodicals, etc” Kate said.

  “Final news reel.” John said.

  The tiny librarian displayed a recorded news program. The anchor, aside from his white tunic and Beetles-style bowl haircut looked like any reporter back on earth. Behind him on the screen was an image of another planet much smaller than Mars.

  “He’s saying that the small planet Trijon is on trajectory to collide with Mars in a matter of days. Mars’ oceans will tsunami, and mass geologic movement will take place. Martian citizens are urged to evacuate Mars, or go to the city of Rasga where the doors will seal out any catastrophic activity. The Martian planetary council will launch a series of nuclear missiles at Trijon.” Kate explained.

  Another news clip began to play, and this time there was a camera panning the sky as fiery debris rained down on Mars surface. Earthquakes rocked the ground as miles of red dirt rose like a massive sand storm high into the sky, blotting out the sun. The camera went black.

  “Did they blow themselves up, or did a planet hit them? I’ll bet there’s a lot more footage where this came from. But, first let’s get back to the ship and tell Capcom what we’ve found so far.” James said.

  Unknown to the crew, Curiosity had been following them through the city and as they exited the library it fired a red beam at each of their eyes. The little rover recorded their findings and was reporting them back to a small office in New York City where seven wealthy, frowning business men in Armani suits sat very quiet, viewing the incoming feed around a large circular oak table. Each man had a distinctive reptilian appearance.

  “They found the Martian libraries. It’s only a matter of time before we discover the blue prints for interdimensional travel again.” One man said.

  “Correct. We can get off this dying, spinning ball of dirt and back to our own dimension. Now, let’s check on moon operations. The miners should now have enough Helium three to cover fuel for a thousand trips back to Mars.”

  “Are you sure the rover wiped their memories?” One said.

  “The only way they’ll remember any of their trip is in muddled dreams.”

  The secrets of what lay on Mars would continue remain a mystery to all but seven reptilian overlords masquerading as humans.

  the day satan quit

  When Hell is full, and Satan becomes frustrated enough to walk off the job will he return before the Angels realize and begin the final battle between good and evil?

  Lucifer sat on his throne of bones, and human skulls seething as he read through the latest morning incoming souls report
. His tail thwipped back and forth as he held the report in his right hand. Tiny flames jumped and danced with brilliant dark light from Lucifer’s fingertips as he drummed nervously on the marble desk. The office of Satan had been held by a number of demons who had risen to the challenge of dethroning Hell’s ruler. A million years before Noah built an Arc, Lucifer dethroned the previous ruler Abaddon in a war so violent that planets quaked throughout the universe.

  “Azriel! Get in here!” Lucifer screamed.

  The demon Azriel slowly rose from his desk, sighed, and walked into Lucifer’s office.

  “Have you seen the Incoming Soul Report for this week?”

  “I’m assuming that’s rhetorical since I set the ISR on your desk twenty minutes ago, and you have it in your hands now.” Azriel said.

  “Don’t be a smart ass. This is getting ridiculous, we have nowhere to store the new soul’s In-processing. All nine levels of Hell are full of inmates, and I just don’t understand some of these charges. Petty theft — non-repentant, another petty theft non-repentant. Here’s another one, Writer blasphemes in novel? You’d think our adversary would let some of this slide.” Lucifer said.

  “He lost his sense of humor after the deluge, sir.” Azriel said.

  Azriel held the contemptuous, arrogant tone of a bored servant. Lucifer shook his head in disgust.

  “I’ve had it Azriel, we’re overcrowded, understaffed, and they get to party in Heaven while we shovel crap. I need to get some of the squatters who don’t belong in Hell out of here, or so help me…” Lucifer said.

  “Are you talking about the release of souls, sir? We’ve never done that in the entire history of Hell. Even your predecessor Abaddon was against it. That could start the final battle.” Azriel said.

  “I don’t see any other way; there’s no more room at the prison. Plus I don’t have the power to nullify souls, and neither does He. Once they’re created, they simply ARE until; I don’t know… eternity ends?”

  “You’re the ruler of Hell and we’ll stand behind any decision you make.” Azriel replied.

  Lucifer slammed a fist down on his desk in frustration.

  “You know what? I quit.” Lucifer said.

  “Sir, you can’t quit. You took power by force, and were appointed by Him. Not even you have the ability to go back on that agreement.” Azriel said.

  “Watch me.” Lucifer said.

  “We would have to shut down every office. I’m begging you not to do this. Do you have any idea how horrible the backup is going to be if you walk off the job right now?” Azriel said.

  Sneering Lucifer pushed past Azriel and with his tail he swept the demon off his feet before walking off in silence.

  “That was just rude!” Azriel yelled.

  Meanwhile, Cedric the Demon Slayer was freeing a town of three hundred frightened people from an attacking Hellion in Schnitzelovia, Romania. Cedric was neither human, demon, nor angel, but a hybrid creature created by angelic and demonic entities and designed to maintain a balance of power on earth. He had been adopted at birth by human parents and raised with other children so that he appeared to be human. It was not until his twenty-first birthday that his true purpose on earth was revealed to him by a wise man who went only by the name Loni. The trespassing demon had attacked in the night three days prior, killing fifteen farmers before villagers could reach Cedric. To Cedric, the demon was a jail breaker, and had to be dealt with. The Demon Slayer, as he was called, had a hard wooden acoustic guitar case where he kept his weapons. When asked why he used a guitar case his only reply was.

  “Guitar cases look cool, and they hold all my stuff.”

  Cedric stood six feet tall, wore a black leather jacket with a huge Grim Reaper patch on the back, and kept a close Van Dyke beard. The Reaper had two ruby red glowing eyes, and carried a long wicked Sickle. Cedric wore an eye patch so, that if he had to go from daylight into darkness he could switch the patch to his other eye and see the escaping demon without having to adjust to low light. Currently, Cedric was running through the nighttime streets of Schnitzelovia, and gaining on the demon Dravex with every step.

  “Dravex, you’re not getting away! Turn and face judgment!” Cedric screamed.

  “Screw you, lame’o. I’m not leaving until I’ve slashed all these meat puppets into piles of chum.” Dravex laughed.

  Dravex dodged into the alley between a small hardware supply store and a candy shop, laughing as he fled. The demon was a gangly sort, with long spindly arms, and ubiquitous sharp claws issued when demons are spawned. His head was bald, save for a few wisps of stringy hair blowing in the breeze. Dravex’s jaw sloped downward to form an evil, wicked looking steam shovel under bite lined with sharp teeth. Cedric could always tell when a demon was around because the air changed from fresh, and breathable, to sulfur. When he caught up to Dravix Cedric would employ the use of Daisy. Daisy was the living soul of his sword, and she had the power to slay supernatural beings.

  “Dravex! I can smell you!” Cedric yelled.

  The demon supported his body between two buildings with his arms and feet dug into the wood siding as it began to smolder from his body heat. He was waiting for just the right time to pounce on Cedric and tear his head off.

  “Now, where could he be?” Cedric asked.

  Dravex dropped, claws flashing, grinning, sure of his aim, prepared to kill the hunter, but instead the demon slayer’s blade impaled him with one upward thrust.

  “Ack!” Dravex grunted.

  The demon exploded into ash which spilled into Cedric’s mouth, covered his face, and went down the front of his shirt.

  “Blech, argh, damned demon!”

  He thought he heard the sound of Dravex’s maniacal laughter echo and fade away through the night. The job was over, and just as fast as he had come to the little village, Cedric collected his pay from the man who hired him, and sped away in his black Pontiac Firebird. Cedric’s cell phone rung a short while later, and for a moment he was unable to translate what the hyperventilating female voice on the other end was telling him .

  “Calm down, who is this? Is that you, Celina?” Cedric asked .

  There was a pause on the phone and he heard the person sobbing.

  “Yes, Cedric, and I’ve got terrible news. Angeline accidentally shot herself in the face. I mean, I think she was committing suicide when I walked in, but pulled the gun from her mouth, and it just…went off. The bullet went into her temple, and she’s gone, sweetie. Oh my God!” She cried.

  “Thank you for the call, Celina. Take care.” He hung up.

  Angeline was Cedric’s on again, off again girlfriend, and Celina was her mother. Cedric lowered his head at Angeline’s passing, she might be marked a suicide, and the rules of life meant a one-way ticket to Hell. Cedric shed a single tear, and gripped the steering wheel with animal strength as his sadness turned to anger.

  “What was she doing with a gun in her mouth?”

  His phone rang again, and this time it was an unknown number. He picked up.

  “Yeah?” Cedric said.

  “Hello Cedric, you know who this is.” A man’s voice said.

  “Azriel. I just sent one of your toadies back a few hours ago. What do you want?”

  “Hey, if one or two demons escape our security system there’s not much I can do about it, demon slayer. Everyone’s got problems. You do your job, and we’ll do ours.” Azriel said.

  “Again, what do you want?” Cedric said.

  “Satan walked off the job this morning, and if you want to save your girlfriend from everlasting torment, you’ll have to help me find him.” Azriel said.

  “Her mom said the gun went off on its own, which is not a suicide.” Cedric said.

  “The paperwork says otherwise, and I just signed it. For all intents and purposes she looks like a suicide to the boys guarding those pearly gates. Although, I’ve been there and the gates are not all that white. Anyway, since the boss walked out, all of the offices are closed, and she’l
l sit in limbo until he gets back and pardons her.” Azriel said.

  “I may run you through when I see you again.” Cedric said.

  “Your sword can’t touch me. You’ve got the power to send lower level demons back, but you can’t do anything to an arch devil.” Azriel retorted.

  “I’m hanging up now, Azriel, so go find someone else to do your dirty work.”

  “Wait! Don’t hang up. You can travel between both worlds and I can’t. We have to get Satan back or there’s going to be a backup down here, which would mean a fissure into the human world. If that happens the angels will see it, and this whole thing won’t be our little secret anymore. Then they’ll begin the final battle. The angels haven’t found out that he walked out yet, but it’s only a matter of time. Help me, and I’ll reverse time to just before Angeline’s gun went off.” Azriel said.

  “Where do you think Lucifer is now?”

  “I believe he went to Dead Mountain in the Ural Mountain range. There are demons loyal to Lucifer hiding in a series of caves up there. It’s a kind of vacation spot for him.” Azriel said.

  “Isn’t that the where those hikers were slaughtered in 1959?” Cedric asked.

  “That’s the place, and it was those degenerate renegades that did it, but that shouldn’t be a problem for you Demon Slayer. Look, you’ve got about three days before anyone realizes up there what’s going on down here, so move it.” Azriel said.

  Azriel ended the call.

  “I’m going to need to find a way to kill that guy.” Cedric said to himself.

  Cedric knew that when Heaven found out Satan was AWOL a false judgment day would occur, putting angelic sentries on full alert for an offensive. The second a fissure broke the earth’s crust allowing demonic souls to escape, there would be human possessions on a massive scale, and global war would break out in the realm of humanity.

  Ten hours later Cedric was in Vizhai, the last inhabited settlement before the trek toward Dead Mountain, where the hikers had met their end. The demons had their stronghold deep within a cave system. Cedric spoke with the village chief before he ventured forward.