by Susan Stoker
“Mozart, you got me a room to stay in. I’ll be fine.”
“You should’ve had that fucking room all along. I can’t go home, can’t go on my missions knowing you’re not eating. I can’t believe you lived in that fire-trap of a storage shed for as long as you did.”
Summer took a deep breath. Mozart was right. She was embarrassed as he’d said. She tried one more time. “Mozart, Henry hired a new handy-man, he’s working on making the building safer. He’s helped me out a lot. I’ll be fine.”
“I don’t see him living in a run-down shack with no bathroom or electricity. Where’s this handyman living? Where’s Henry living?”
“Well, I don’t know.”
Without giving Summer a chance to say anything else, Mozart said, “Exactly. They’re not living in that piece of shit. They’re eating three meals a day. They have warm clothes. They’re not you.”
They stared at each other for a long moment.
“I don’t like not being able to get those things for myself.” Summer finally said quietly.
Mozart sighed in relief. “Jesus, you think I don’t know that, Sunshine? You have ‘independent woman’ written all over you. But you don’t get that I want to do this for you. I need to do it. I wouldn’t care if you had a million dollars in the bank, I’d still want to give this to you.”
“If I had a million dollars in the bank we would’ve never met.”
Mozart just brought Summer’s hand up to his lips and kissed the back of it. Then he turned it over and nipped the fleshy part of her palm. “Come on, Sunshine, we’ve got some rooms to clean.”
* * *
“You’re really good at this,” Summer told Mozart honestly when they were working on the last room for the day.
“I don’t mean to be a dick, but it’s really not that hard, Sunshine.”
Summer laughed. “Sorry, you’re right.”
“Besides, I’m single. I have to clean my own apartment and the Navy made sure I could make a bed so tight, a quarter would bounce off the sheets.”
Summer laughed again. “Obviously a good life-skill to have.” She smiled at Mozart. He’d made the job of cleaning the rooms fun. They’d talked while they’d cleaned and she’d gotten to know him a bit better. Summer learned he had a wicked sense of humor. Mozart could laugh at himself as well as make her see humor in situations that she might not have seen otherwise. Overall she really enjoyed spending time with him.
Summer stopped and stood still for a moment and looked at him. “Thank you, Mozart.”
Mozart heard the seriousness of Summer’s tone and turned to her. “For what?”
“For helping me today. For not freaking out about having to clean toilets or make beds or vacuum floors. For everything. Just…thank you.”
Mozart dropped the bundle of dirty towels he’d been carrying to the cart, and took Summer’s head in his hands and rested his forehead against hers. “You’re welcome.”
They looked into each other’s eyes for a beat, until Summer pulled away and looked away feeling awkward.
“Look at me, Sunshine,” Mozart ordered.
Summer immediately looked up into his eyes, not even questioning why she’d immediately done what he’d asked.
“Don’t ever feel embarrassed for telling me what’s on your mind. If you’re pissed, tell me. If you’re happy, I want to know. If you’re embarrassed, tired, hungry, sad…I want to know. Got me?”
Without breaking eye contact, Summer simply nodded.
“Okay then. Let’s finish cleaning this shithole and grab something to eat then get to the store. I’m in the mood to spoil you.”
“Okay.”
Cleaning the rest of the room took no time at all and soon they were stashing the cart in the back of the office building and the cleaning supplies in the storage room.
“Come on, Sunshine, let’s go. We have crap to buy.”
“I hope you know I’m not going to let you go overboard.”
“Yeah, yeah, let’s go.”
* * *
Summer sat on the edge of the bed and looked around in bemusement. Mozart had gone overboard. Nothing she’d said made any difference. He’d just ignored her protests and bought whatever he wanted to. There was a small microwave now sitting beside the television set. A dorm-room size refrigerator now stood, motor running, against the wall and there was food everywhere. Mozart had bought so much food, it was stacked around the room haphazardly. The small fridge was overflowing with enough food to keep her fed for at least two weeks.
Summer could tell Mozart was in a weird mood while they were shopping, so she hadn’t protested what he’d thrown in to the cart after the first time she’d tried. He’d turned to her and said gruffly, “Let me do this, Sunshine. I need to do this.” So she’d let Mozart do what it was he felt he needed to.
He’d sent her to the clothes section of the store and ordered her to find long sleeved shirts and pants, a jacket, and even underwear in her size. Mozart had threatened if she didn’t come back with what he thought was enough, he’d then go and find clothes for her. Summer took him at his word and brought back what she’d thought was way too many clothes. Mozart had only sighed and let it go with a, “that’ll do for now.”
Now they were in the room, and Summer felt awkward. She wasn’t used to anyone buying her things, well buying her things because she couldn’t afford it. She didn’t like the feeling. Mozart sat next to her on the edge of the bed and she saw him staring at the food they’d brought in.
“I don’t know if that’ll be enough,” he said morosely.
“Are you kidding?”
“No,” Mozart said in a flat voice, turning to her. “We’re headed out on a mission on Monday. I have no idea how long I’ll be gone, and I don’t know when I’ll be able to get back up here again. I know you don’t have a car so you can’t just run to the store to get anything if you run out.”
Summer put her hand on Mozart’s leg, then snatched it back when he flinched. Before she could say or do anything, he grabbed her hand and put it back on his leg. Mozart tilted his head in an invitation for her to say what it was she obviously wanted to say.
“I’m not saying this to make you feel guilty, or mad, or anything, okay?” When Mozart nodded, Summer continued. “Mozart, for the last few months I’ve been eating one meal a day. When Henry opens the office I head over there and eat a yogurt and a bagel. I typically snatch another bagel and a piece of fruit for later. Sometimes a guest will leave something in their room that I feel is safe to take for myself to eat. Trust me, all of this food…” She gestured around them, “…will last me a good long time.”
Summer watched as Mozart’s left hand curled into a fist and the muscle in his jaw clenched. Not wanting him to torture himself, she bought the hand not resting on his leg, up to his face and turned it toward her. Whispering, Summer said, “I’m okay, Mozart. You have no idea how much what you’ve done for me in the last two days means to me. If I was okay before, now I’m more than okay.”
Mozart took a deep breath and turned his head and kissed the palm of Summer’s hand. “You’ll never have to eat the fucking trash that someone leaves behind again. Just the thought…” he shuddered and closed his eyes for a moment.
Summer could tell when he’d gotten himself back under control. He opened his eyes and told her, “I’ll be back up here as soon as I can, Sunshine.”
“I know.”
“I know you don’t have a cell phone, but I’m going to leave you my number so you can call me whenever you want. I’ll call you here at the motel to let you know when I’ll be back up, but in the meantime, when I’m out of the country, if I give you a friend’s number will you call it if you need anything…and I mean anything?”
Summer stayed silent and just looked at Mozart.
“Shit. You won’t will you? I knew you were going to be a pain.” Mozart smiled when he said it, so Summer wasn’t offended. “Will you take the number for my peace of mind then? I’
ll feel better if you have it.”
“Whose number is it?”
“His name is Tex. He’s a friend who lives in Virginia. He used to be a SEAL, but was medically retired after having his leg partially amputated. He’s a computer genius and I’d trust him with my life…or yours.”
“Leave me his number, Mozart. I can’t promise to call if I get a splinter or something, but if something goes seriously wrong I’ll call.” At the look of relief in Mozart’s eyes, Summer knew she’d said the right thing, even if it made her uncomfortable.
Mozart stood up and held his hand out to Summer. “Come on, Sunshine. Let’s climb in bed, there has to be a movie or something on television we can watch.”
Summer took Mozart’s hand and he led her to the bed. He didn’t pull back the covers, but helped her onto the bed and climbed in behind her. He pointed the remote at the TV and flipped through the channels until he came upon True Lies.
“I’ve always loved this movie. This okay?”
“Yeah, Jamie Lee Curtis kicks butt.”
Mozart laughed and settled back against the pillows and drew Summer into his side. She snuggled down against him and put her head against his chest. Mozart took a deep breath and inhaled her scent.
“You smell good.” He couldn’t have stopped the words to save his life.
“It’s just shampoo.”
“No, it’s not. It’s shampoo, and the orange you ate tonight as a snack when we got back to the room. It’s a hint of salt from your perspiration, it’s you Sunshine.”
Summer squirmed. She’d never had anyone talk to her like Mozart did. “You’re crazy.”
“Take the compliment, Summer. Say thank you.”
“Thank you.”
Mozart smiled at her and pulled her even closer. “Now, shhhh. Watch the movie.”
Summer tried to lose herself in the movie, but couldn’t. Her mind was jumping around and she couldn’t turn it off. Finally, she tipped her head up to ask Mozart a question, only to find him staring down at her, instead of at the TV.
“You’re going on a mission on Monday?”
“Yeah.”
“Can you tell me anything about it?” Summer didn’t think he could, but asked anyway.
“No.” After a minute or two of silence Mozart told her regretfully, “It’s what I do, Sunshine.”
Summer nodded immediately and tried to reassure him. “Oh, I know, Mozart. I don’t know much…okay, I don’t know anything about the military, but I know enough to know what you do is kept hush hush and that you can’t talk about it. I just…I just will worry about you.” She rushed to continue, “I know, it’s silly, I don’t really even know you, but I don’t like thinking about you heading off to some foreign country doing something dangerous and not knowing anything about where you are, what you’re doing, or when you’ll be back.”
Mozart sighed and turned to Summer. He leaned over until she was lying sideways on the bed and he was leaning over her. “I don’t like keeping things from you, but you have to know I can never tell you. It’s the hardest part of being with a SEAL. I wish I had time to introduce you to Ice, Alabama, and Fiona. They’re my teammates’ women. They’ve learned to deal with our missions by getting together and doing girl stuff. We know us leaving drives them crazy, but they support each other and help each other get through it. And you should know, the team knows what we’re doing. Yes, what we do is dangerous and there’s always the chance we’ll be hurt…” Mozart drew a finger over his scarred cheek, then continued, “but you have to believe in us. We’ve trained for this. We’re good, Sunshine. The fact that Wolf, Abe, and Cookie have their women waiting at home for them makes them even more determined that we all come home.” He stopped talking and stared down at the amazing woman under him.
“I get it, Mozart. I know you’re good. I know you’re a professional. But I’ll still worry.” Summer said the last in a small, unsure voice. “I don’t even know why you’re here really. I mean, you don’t know me…”
“Come here, Sunshine, and listen to me.” Mozart lay back on his side and pulled her toward him. They were face to face on the bed, not touching, but close enough to feel each other’s breaths as they exhaled in and out.
“You’re right in that we haven’t spent a lot of time together. If one of my buddies was in this same situation I’d probably be warning him to slow down. I’d tell him that there was no way he could have feelings for you after knowing you two damn days. But, I know my own mind. I see you. You’re smart. You’re compassionate. You’re tough. You’re selfless. You’re hardworking. You’re shy. You’re passionate. You’re beautiful. You’re everything I’ve ever dreamed about in a woman. If you think I’m walking away from you, you’re out of your mind. I’m not proposing. I’m not saying we’ll be together for the rest of our lives. What I am saying that I want to see where this can go. I want to get to know you better. I want to protect you. I want to taste you so badly, I’m practically salivating. So, yeah, I get what you’re saying when you say you’ll worry, ‘cos I’ll worry too. I worry about you up here with that asshole, Henry. I worry about you eating enough. I worry about you being cold. I worry about you working too hard. I worry about you not having any transportation. I know we haven’t known each other very long, but that worry is there. So while I don’t like that you’ll worry about me, at the same time, I like it.”
“Mozart…” Summer couldn’t get anything else out. She wished she could’ve taped what he’d just said so she could play it back over and over again.
“Any other concerns about us not knowing each other or why I’m here?”
Summer could only shake her head.
Mozart smiled. “Then can we finish watching Arnold kick the bad guys’ butts?”
“Yeah, we can do that.”
“A pain in my ass.” Mozart leaned toward Summer and kissed her. He didn’t touch her with any other part of his body, only his lips.
After a long intense kiss that left them both breathless, Mozart sat up against the headboard again and pulled Summer back into his arms. They watched the movie until the credits rolled across the screen.
Mozart kissed the top of Summer’s head and said, “Ready for bed?”
“Yeah,” she sleepily muttered.
“Up you go, Sunshine. Go and do your thing.” Mozart helped Summer up and gently pushed her toward the bathroom. “I’ll change and switch places with you after you’re done.”
Summer nodded and shuffled into the bathroom. By the time she finished brushing her teeth, washing her face, and using the restroom, Mozart had changed into a T-shirt and was wearing a pair of black boxers. She swallowed hard. “Your turn.”
Mozart walked toward her and leaned down and kissed her hard before scooting by. “Mint toothpaste. I’ve dreamed about that taste on your lips as well,” and he disappeared into the bathroom.
Summer hurried into the new pajamas he’d bought for her. Not being the nightgown type, she’d chosen a shorts and mini-tee set. They were loose and pink with little white flowers. She didn’t think it was too revealing, but everything seemed very intimate with Mozart.
She was still standing by the bed when he came out of the bathroom. Mozart stopped in his tracks and just stared at her.
Not able to stand the silence and the weird look on his face another moment Summer asked, “What?”
“Get in bed, Sunshine. Now.”
Confused, and feeling vulnerable, Summer scurried to the bed and got in. She watched as Mozart came around the side of the bed that she was lying on and said, “Scoot over, I’m on this side.”
She’d forgotten. She’d crawled into the side of the bed closest to the door without thinking. Summer scooted over and watched as Mozart leaned over and turned off the light next to the bed. The room was plunged into darkness. She felt Mozart settle onto the mattress. Summer waited, but he didn’t turn toward her. It felt like he was lying as stiff as a board.
“Mozart?”
“Don’t.
” Mozart cut her off.
Summer was so confused. She had no idea what had happened between when he kissed her and commented on the taste of her toothpaste and when he’d come out of the bathroom. She rolled over so her back was to him and tried to keep her tears from falling.
After a moment, Summer felt Mozart finally move. He turned into her and curled himself around her back. One arm went under her neck, and the other curled over her side and he laid his forearm along her breastbone. She felt protected and safe in his arms. She was so confused.
“Don’t cry, Sunshine. Fuck. I’m sorry. You are so gorgeous. Seeing you standing there in that cute little sleep set almost made me lose control. It took everything I had to let you climb in here by yourself. I still want nothing more than to turn you over and bury myself so far inside you that you’ll never forget the feel of me. But I promised. It’s too soon. Jesus, Sunshine, don’t ever doubt that I want to be here with you. I just needed a moment to control myself.”
Summer could feel Mozart’s hard length against her. She didn’t doubt him, but he’d hurt her. “Don’t do that again,” she sniffed once, hard. “I thought you’d changed your mind. I can’t take up and down emotions directed at me. I need you to be one person. If you’re mad, tell me. If you’re stressed, tell me. If you’re losing control, tell me. I know with what you do you’ll probably have some moments where you’re dealing with some heavy stuff. I’ll give you the space you need, but if you don’t tell me, I’ll think it’s about me.” She shrugged as best she could in his embrace. It was easier to talk to him since she wasn’t looking at him. “I’m a woman. We tend to think everything’s about us.”
“I will. I’m sorry.”