by Tia Louise
My eyebrows rise, and I shake my head as I start the Ninja. She’s amazing, and she’s right. She is not disabled. I still don’t know what to do with this, but I won’t make her feel weak or insult her ability.
It isn’t long before she’s back with me, cleaned up and wrapped in the thin robe I keep on the back of my bathroom door. It’s black with white pinstripes, and it’s enormous on her.
“Here.” I hand her a mug of coffee.
She scoots onto the stool at her hip, and I watch as she cups the mug in both hands, taking a slow sniff before sipping it… just like she always did. Lowering the cup, she smiles and lets out a satisfied noise.
“That is the best coffee I’ve ever had.”
I shake my head and take a sip from my own cup. It is pretty damn good, but I can’t take all the credit. “It’s the coffee maker. It’s one of those ‘perfect cup every time’ models.”
“No, it’s you.”
I reach out to cover her hand with mine. “So how do you do it?”
Her brows quirk. “Do what?”
“You made it all the way around my apartment like you grew up here. And what’s with the little clicks.”
“Mm,” she takes another sip of coffee. “It’s echolocation.”
For a moment, I only study her expression. She’s completely serious.
“You mean like what bats use?”
“And dolphins!” The offense in her tone almost makes me laugh.
“I’m sorry. I just… I didn’t know humans did that.”
“I didn’t either.” She holds out her mug, and I step to the pot to give her a refill. “Thanks. So I heard about this guy. A blind guy who can ride a bike.”
“No way.”
“I know, right?” Her blue eyes are wide and animated as if she can actually see me. I almost feel like she can. “I didn’t believe it at first, but I took a few of his classes, and I practiced it myself. You’d never think about it because you can see, but when the world is hazy or dark, the different ways it echoes creates an image. It’s amazing.”
“I still wouldn’t ride a bike if I were you.” The thought of what happened to her aunt who was not blind makes my stomach churn.
“I won’t.” She holds the mug up to her lips. “It’s not fool proof, though. I couldn’t find my dress.”
“Are you kidding? That robe has never looked better.”
That gets me a grin, and I suddenly feel inspired. “Let’s take the bike into the mountains today. We can pack a lunch and picnic on the grounds of one of those old estates.”
“Okay…” Her smile grows, and I want to scoop her up in my arms and kiss her. “Then what?”
“Then what,” I repeat as my eyes travel over her pretty face, her hair, her shining eyes and full pink lips. All I want is to have her body pressed against my back, her slim arms around my waist. “Then we can just drive, sight see.”
Immediately I regret the last thing I said. “I don’t mean sight see.”
Kass doesn’t skip a beat. She leans forward on her elbows. “Do I get to hold you close and rest my cheek on your shoulder while we do it?”
The sleeves of my enormous robe drop down exposing her slim forearms. I reach out and cover one with my hand.
“I hope—” My black phone beeping and vibrating on the counter across from us cuts me off. It’s my secure line, which means the only texts or calls I get on it are from the royal family.
“You have two phones.” Her tone is quiet.
“Don’t move,” I say, stepping over to pick it up.
It’s Rowan, and my stomach sinks when I see his words.
En route from the islands. At the palace by noon. Want to meet and discuss our steps going forward ASAP today.
The device is quiet in my hand, and my arm drops by my side. All I can think of are my plans for today, Kass alone in the city, my god-awful hours working at the palace. I’m trying to formulate a reply when it goes off again.
Hope you had a relaxing, lucky break.
I shake my head, knowing the implied meaning there. It’s unlike the king to be so informal, but I suppose after the year we’ve had, I’m more like family now.
Safe travels. See you this afternoon. I text back. Then I look up at Kass, who’s sitting at the bar tracing her finger around the lip of her near-empty coffee cup.
I walk over to where she sits, and as if she has extra-sensory vision, she asks. “Is something wrong?”
Moving around behind her, I put both hands on her shoulders and lean down to kiss her head. “The royal family will be back at the palace by noon. That was the king. He wants us to meet and discuss our plans going forward.”
Her body tenses briefly, and she moves her hands from the cup to her lap. Her chin drops, and when she speaks, her voice is quiet, tentative. “Is he sending you away again?”
“No,” I say, turning her to the side so I can wrap my arm around her shoulder. “I’m working directly with the Queen Regent now. It’s a new assignment. He probably just wants to go over the scope of my duties.”
Kass’s eyes close, and a brief wave of something like resignation passes across her face. “You’re working directly with the queen.”
It’s not a question, and I’m concerned by this change in her. She seems to be pulling away somehow. I don’t understand.
“It’s a job,” I try to reassure her. “Let’s meet for dinner. I’ll pick you up at your place, and we can see where the road takes us.”
“Can you do that?” Her chin lifts, and genuine confusion is on her face. “I mean… are you able to set your own hours?”
Is that what’s bothering you, beautiful? The truth is, my hours are bothering me a little now, too. “I’ll talk to Rowan. If Ava’s not going out, I should be able to get away for a few hours.”
“In that case, I’d love to.” She smiles, but it’s a little less bright. Slipping off the stool, she walks toward my bed. “Do you happen to see where I left my clothes?”
“Are you asking me for help?”
“No…” her head tilts to the side. “I’ll find them eventually, but I’ve never been here before. It’s a bit like being in a country where you don’t speak the language.”
“Languages never gave you much trouble.” I squeeze her hand as I walk over to my large sleeping area.
I reach down and retrieve the filmy tunic from halfway under the bed. Her bikini is beside it. Returning to her, I place them in her hand. “Right where I took them off of you.”
She smiles, but I hold her a beat longer. “I’m going to talk to him about us. I’m going to see what I can do about getting more flexibility in my schedule. I meant it when I said I don’t want to lose you again. We can make this work.”
Her only reply is a wistful smile.
She might be doubtful, but I am determined to do what I can to hold onto this woman as long as she’ll let me. Rowan will have to understand.
Reminder
Kass
With a kiss and a promise to meet this evening, Logan is gone. I’m standing at the door to my apartment building, and the sun is shining strong against my skin. My sunglasses are gone. I must have left them at Logan’s. I’ve lost my mask. I have no way to hide.
For a moment, I lean my back against the building and lift my chin. I want the hot rays to burn against my skin. My body is sore from last night, but I feel so deeply satisfied.
Still, my debts, the job hanging over my head looms in front of me. The royal family is back. Blix expects me to complete my assignment. If I don’t…
All at once, the sun feels too hot. I don’t want to be outdoors. I’m tired and heavy with guilt, and my eyes sting with unshed tears. As Logan held me close, telling me how much it meant to him that we had found each other, I almost broke down. Burying my face in his chest, I could only allow my lips to say the words twisting my insides. I’m so sorry…
I can’t summon the energy to find my key, so I press the buzzer in the little rhythm Luc and
I use to let each other know we’re home. The loud clang of the lock indicates the door is open, and I pull it hard, stepping into the dim hallway.
It’s quiet, and the lack of proper lighting makes it impossible for me to make out anything with my limited vision. At least in the bright light, I can make out shapes. In this situation, I have to rely completely on my ears.
Right now, they’re telling me the stairwell is empty. It’s the same thing they told me when Logan was here, but at least that ended well. I can’t help a tremor of fear at who could be lurking, watching me without my knowledge.
I’m about to call for Luc, when I hear his door open. I hear the click of doggy nails on wood, and Henri yips at me from the top of the stairs.
“Is it safe, Henri?” I whisper, facing where I presume he’s standing.
He lets out a little bark, and I hear him start to come down to me.
“You’re a good dog,” I say taking the first two steps and doing my best to calm my rising nerves. “You are no kyoodle.” He breathes loudly, and I can just see his little smiling terrier face in my mind’s eye, tongue hanging out.
“Do you know what a kyoodle is?” I’m halfway there, and my stomach is so tight, it’s hard to breathe.
Two more steps.
Happy terrier breathing.
One more step.
At last I’m at the top. I made it. No one is here except this little short, coarse-haired dog and me. My body is weak from the adrenaline, and I sit on the top step, exhaling a laugh and feeling silly.
Henri steps into my lap and as usual, he licks me right in the mouth. I do a fake spit, and my hand fumbles to his muzzle, blocking more mouth-licks.
“A kyoodle is a noisy, yapping dog,” I say. “That is not you. You’re a good doggy. Yes you are! You’re a good doggy!”
My voice is a sing-song, and his entire body wags. I smile, his joy making me feel better.
Just then Luc’s door opens, and he snaps, “Henri, viens!”
He’s telling him to come, and the little dog happily takes off, back to his owner.
“Bonjour, Luc!” I call, but he doesn’t answer. “Au revoir, Henri,” I say quietly as their door closes.
Luc is not a bad neighbor, and the two of us have worked out a mutual coexistence in the building. Still, I’m lucky if I get a greeting from him. Only Henri is my cheerful friend when I come home. All eleven pounds of him.
I’m still sitting on the top step when my phone starts buzzing in my hand. Instinctively, all my tension from before races back, and with a shaky hand, I lift it close to my cheek, the screen bright in the dim hall. I’m bracing for Blix, hoping for Logan, and relieved when I see it’s only Cam.
What are you doing tonight? He texts.
I tap out a reply. Nothing definite. What’s up?
I’m playing at the Café Steele. Come see me.
Pulling my bottom lip between my teeth, I think about my little brother’s request. Logan had said he might only have a few hours this evening. Stopping in to check out Cam’s gig could be the perfect thing.
Sure! I text back. What time?
Really? I can almost see the playful gleam in his eyes. If he were here, he’d probably be hugging me.
Really. I’m very curious to see how this hair is working for you.
Chick magnet. I told you.
That makes my eyes roll, and I do laugh this time. See you tonight.
Pushing on my knees, I stand and turn toward my door. Luc can’t help me with this one, so I dig in my bag for the keys. I haven’t been here since I left to spend the day with Logan yesterday. I need to take my birth control. As much as I love feeling of Logan inside me, no barriers, a baby is a slip-up I cannot make. Not with all the shit I have hanging over me. Maybe not ever…
The thought provokes a twist of sadness in my chest, but I shake it away. I can’t pile sadness on top of sadness.
On a lighter note, I probably have a pile of mail to carry in. Funny how the junk mail always seems to find you.
My fingertips graze the metal pieces in my bag, and I drag out the large key ring. Bag on my shoulder, I place my left hand on the door, using my thumb to guide the key into the lock. I don’t realize I’m pushing against the wood until it slides open with a clatch.
Pulling back, I suck in a sharp breath. Fear shoves out every emotion in my chest. I’m paralyzed, standing in the hall facing my open door.
I know I locked it before I left yesterday. I remember distinctly…
I don’t move. I’m not sure if I should go forward or run away… or get Luc. I’m so good at getting around and feeling out the world despite the thick haze clouding my vision. Still, it’s situations like this where I feel my disadvantage all the way to my bones. Logan’s expressed desire to keep me by his side sounds pretty great right now.
“No,” I whisper, squaring my shoulders. “This is my place. I won’t be afraid.”
My keys are in my hand, and I make a fist around them, positioning the key I had planned to use between my middle and index finger. It’s sticking straight out like a small knife. If anyone tries to grab me, I’ll jam it straight into his unsuspecting neck.
With a trembling step forward, I hear my breathing loud around me in the small room. My teeth are clenched, and I reach to the side with my unfisted hand to turn on both light switches. The small studio fills with light, and I begin to make out the hazy shapes I know. I intentionally left the walls stark white to help with this process.
Bed in the corner… dresser against the wall… small table with chair…
Dark shape appears to be sitting in my chair…
My heart slams against my chest. I freeze then take a step back. “Who are you? What do you want?” My tone is stern with only the slightest wobble—miraculous, considering how close I am to hyperventilating.
A shiver starts in my back, low in my waist, but I fight it. “Who are you?” I say louder. I inhale deeply, searching for a scent.
His scent greets me at the same time his humorless laugh ripples across the space between us, turning my blood to ice.
Blix is here.
“You never cease to amaze me, Kass.” A shuffling noise, and he rises. “Just when I’ve decided you’re useless to me, you turn out to be so… fucking… valuable.” He’s standing in front of me, and with his final words, he does a little tap on my nose.
The meaning of what he’s saying isn’t lost on me. I feel the nausea tightening my throat. I know what happens when I’m no longer useful to him.
Still, I jerk my face away. “What are you doing here?” My keys remain clenched in my fist, and I imagine jamming the one into his neck. “What if I hadn’t been alone?”
He walks away from me, over to my small window overlooking the street. “Don’t worry. I keep close tabs on your boyfriend. I know everywhere he goes… and who goes with him.”
His voice hardens on the last phrase, and my pulse ratchets up again. “He’s not my boyfriend,” I argue, protective fear swirling in my chest.
“Your fuck buddy, then.” He returns to where I stand fighting for control.
“You being here is dangerous… for my assignment.” I’m grasping at any reason to keep a safe distance between the two of us. “Anyone could see you.”
“I want to be sure you’re still focused on the job.” A click of metal, and I gasp, drawing away from the point of his knife against my cheek, biting in to the soft skin at the base of my eye. “Keeping your eye on the prize.”
Eyes you own. “The job was to reconnect with Logan.” Acid rises in my throat as I say the words. “Find his weakness or distract him with our past.”
“He’s a sexy beast, I’ll give him that.” Blix leans closer so his breath is on my face. “Don’t. Forget.”
It takes everything in me, every ounce of strength I’ve mustered over the last several years to push back, but I do it. I force calm into my voice, cocky assuredness. “You’re worried the tables will turn?” I even manage a smil
e. “That he’ll distract me instead?”
I feel it the moment Blix’s composure changes. “Sneaky bitch.” His teeth clench, and he’s back in my face. He’s so close I can make out the furrow of his brow, the cruel line of his mouth. “You’re too fucking good at this. I should cut your eyes out so I know you’re telling the truth.”
Panic flares to life inside me, but I beat it down. “You’re smarter than that,” I say, impressed by how casual I sound. “Why would you ruin a valuable asset?”
“What makes you so valuable?”
“I look innocent. People trust me.” I do a little shrug as if it should be obvious to him. “Who would suspect me of working with you?”
Quiet fills my small apartment. The second hand on my old-timey clock beats loud in my ears. Will he relent or is my time up?
He takes a step back, and I allow myself to breathe. “Fuck up this job, and I will cut out your eyes. I’ll use my knife and dig them out slow. I’ll scrape the bones so I’m sure you feel it.” The casual way he describes it, the undertone of pleasure, summons the ghosts of the men I’ve heard him torture. Their screams echo in my ears, and my throat closes.
“Have I ever let you down?”
“I can think of a few times.”
It’s why I’m standing here taking this shit.
“Neither of those times was me letting you down. It was the others.”
“Others exploiting your weakness.” He’s back, and I feel the anger rising in him again. I struggle to hold on a little longer. “It won’t happen again,” His voice is cold, and he clutches my cheeks between his fingers and thumb. The pressure of his grip is painful on my face. “If it does I’ll handle you. And I’ll handle your little brother. I’ll start with him so you can hear the consequences loud and clear.”
He releases my face with a push that sends me staggering back, arms flailing, against the wall. He’s to the door in two paces, and when it slams shut, my knees give out. I slide down the slick, white wall until I’m sitting, my face pressed against the backs of my hands.