"What?"
Maybe if he pretended he hadn't heard, his boss would go away.
"I asked if you're going to let the best thing that's ever happened to you get away. Megan," Nate drawled, as if Dan were too slow to figure out what he meant.
Dan didn't want to talk about it. Not with Nate. Not with anyone.
He only shook his head.
But Nate wouldn’t be deterred. "Somebody like her wanted to be with me, I'd be all over that. What's wrong with you?"
Dan gritted his teeth. "You've made it plenty clear you don't want anything to do with me. Why don't you leave it alone?"
Nate's expression shifted from disinterest to something sharper. He stepped closer. His hands came down and fisted at his sides. "I made it clear?"
Anger, guilt, frustration rose up to choke Dan. Somehow he still managed to grind out, "I wish you'd just take a swing at me. Get it over with. I know I ruined our friendship. You think I don't know that? You think I don't regret it every single day?"
Nate's expression changed again. He stepped closer, and Dan braced for a punch. It would hurt, but maybe it would take some of the edge off of missing Megan.
"I don't want to punch you, you big dope. I've been waiting for you to say sorry so I can tell you I forgive you."
What?
He had?
Dan was dumbfounded. "I'm sorry." His voice emerged rough.
"I forgive you. Dope."
Nate hauled him in, not for a punch but for a man-hug. One that Dan had never let himself hope for.
Nate shoved him as he pulled out of the hug. "About time, man."
Moisture burned in Dan's eyes but he blinked it away. He could only give Nate so much ammunition.
"Come for dinner tonight," Nate said. "Kayla will set you straight about the good doctor."
Dan shook his head. "I can't."
Nate’s smile faded, and his eyes narrowed.
"It's... really hard for me to leave the Triple H. There's still a part of me… it's like an itch I can never scratch. A little devil sitting on my shoulder, telling me to drive past your house and hit up the nearest casino."
Nate clapped him on the shoulder. "Admitting it is one of the steps to recovery, man. Come for dinner, and then come home to the Triple H. I'll call and check up on you, if you want. You can't stay isolated out here forever."
That Nate had slipped right back into their years-long friendship felt right. An enormous gift Dan had never expected.
But—
"It won't do any good. Siccing Kayla only me. Megan is... too good for me."
Nate laughed outright. "Welcome to the club, man. You've met Kayla, right? And Kelsey? Sarah? Carrie? Every single one of those gals is too good for the likes of us. But they love us anyway."
Dan shook his head. "Not me. I'm not..."
Nate shoved his shoulder. "You've had this thing since we were kids. Not seeing your own worth. Maybe 'cause of your mom."
Dan gritted his teeth. He hated it that the entire town knew about his family's dirty laundry.
"Putting myself out there feels like... the biggest gamble of my life. If I tell her how I feel and she doesn't want me, I lose."
"Everything." Nate nodded, expression serious now. "Been there. But what if you don't take the risk? What if you lose the best thing that's ever happened to you?"
Dan didn't know how he could bear it. A week without Megan and he felt like a zombie, barely able to get through his days. He missed her with a visceral ache.
She'd kissed him back. He kept trying to tell himself he’d imagined it. Couldn’t quite convince himself.
But her emotions had been high after Brady's near-choking episode.
What if it had been a heat-of-the-moment thing?
He loved her.
But what if she felt nothing for him?
Did he have the guts to find out?
Chapter 9
The Bar O rodeo was as dusty and dangerous as the Triple H rodeo had been.
At least this time, she felt a little prepared. She had the official Texas uniform on. Jeans and boots that'd been appropriately worn-in.
She was more than a little freaked out. Her kids were getting ready to head into that arena.
Over the past month, she'd seen Dan a handful of times. She'd taken him up on his offer to rodeo-train the kids. When she'd seen him, he'd been friendly and courteous. He'd never brought up the kiss.
She couldn't stop thinking about it. His tenderness. His need, communicated so clearly through his touch, a need he never allowed himself to speak aloud.
Or maybe she was fooling herself. Maybe it had just been a great kiss, easily forgotten to him.
"Aunt Megan, do you see Dan anywhere?" Julianne asked.
The three of them were wedged between a two horse trailers on the back side of the ranch rodeo grounds, a side of the rodeo Megan hadn't seen before.
Carrie and Scarlett Markson were unloading Peanut, a task Megan felt completely unsure about. Tad already stood nearby, tied to the trailer.
At Julianne's question, Brady looked up from where he'd been stroking the animal's neck.
Megan hated to dash their hope. "Remember, he never promised to come, you guys." She didn't want them to be disappointed. When she'd brought it up during their s'mores ride, he'd had valid reasons for not wanting to leave the Triple H.
As Scarlett led the pinto down the ramp, Brady sidled up to Julianne and whispered something Megan couldn't hear. Julianne lit up, sending a not-so-covert glance at Megan.
Those two. Thick as thieves, even after she'd given in and agreed to the rodeo.
She'd started seeing a therapist after her breakdown when Brady had nearly choked. Through counseling, she’d discovered that Dan had been right. She did have lingering effects from the trauma of losing Emma and Riley. She'd been working on calming techniques to help her focus on what was real when her mind wanted to spin off into what-ifs.
She'd also put the kids in a group grief-counseling session for children. Brady had balked at first, but she'd only agreed to let him compete in the rodeo if he attended.
His reluctant attendance had turned into quiet acceptance. The sessions had helped. The kids talked about their parents more. Talked about their grief.
And sharing had opened a new facet to their relationship with Megan, and for that she was thankful.
Maybe she would be able to make this parenting thing work.
She was studiously avoiding thinking about the upcoming teen years.
And the man who had changed everything for her had all but disappeared from her life.
She was in love with Dan. He saw what no one else did. When he saw a need, he took action. And he kissed like a dream.
But apparently, he didn't want her.
Megan slipped one arm over Julianne's shoulder, catching the top of the pink sequined vest that had been a gift from Scarlett. "You're going to do great tonight."
Julianne shrugged.
That was an unusually subdued reaction.
Megan squeezed her shoulders.
"What if I fall off?" Julianne asked in a tiny voice.
"You've only fallen off once," Megan reminded her. She'd nearly had a cardiac event, but Julianne had popped right back up, corral dirt smudging her face. "If you fall off, you get back on and try again."
"I see Miles!" Brady waved over his head.
Carrie and Scarlett finished tying Peanut to the side of the trailer.
Carrie's husband Trey lugged a saddle from the truck bed parked in front of the trailer. "About ready, Turbo?" Dan's nickname for Julianne had stuck.
Carrie moved next to Megan. "We'd better go get seats. You don't want a bad camera angle."
The kids had told Megan they wanted Trey and Scarlett and Miles to stick with them outside the arena until it was their respective turns.
Kissing their cheeks and going off with Carrie was maybe the hardest thing Megan had ever done.
Carrie threaded her arm
through Megan's elbow as they made their way through the crowd.
"Proud of you, mama," Carrie murmured.
When she would've climbed the bleachers, Carrie tugged her to a pair of seats in the crowded second row.
Wedged in between an old-timer in a ten-gallon hat—the same guy from the Triple H rodeo?—and a mama who seemed to know every kid's name who was riding, Megan wasn't sure she'd ever forget the anticipation bubbling inside her. She checked her phone numerous times to make sure she had the video capture loaded and ready to go.
But in the middle of all the action, her words to Julianne kept bouncing around her brain.
If you fall off, you get back on and try again.
Had she given up too easily when Dan had pushed her away?
Through college, medical school, and practicing medicine, she hadn’t had time to date. If she'd had more experience with men, she might've been able to tell if he'd been sincere when he’d told her he wanted her to stay away or if he’d just said it to protect her.
She had no idea.
Just a gut feeling that they were meant to be together.
The last sheep was ushered out of the arena, and the announcer boomed over the loudspeakers that the girls' cloverleaf barrels were next.
Megan's gut squeezed.
"I think I'm more nervous than Julianne," she whispered to Carrie.
The other woman chuckled. "No doubt. She'll do fine."
One little girl rode out and traced the course pattern. She wasn't that fast.
Another one. Faster.
And then Julianne was announced.
Megan held her breath as her niece rocketed out of the gate. Her mouth was puckered in concentration, and she focused on the course. She rounded the first barrel, urged Peanut for more speed, and approached the second. The horse's flank nudged the barrel. It rocked, and Megan held her breath. If it fell, a penalty would be added to Julianne's time.
Carrie clutched her hand in her lap, the one not holding the phone/camera.
The barrel steadied.
Julianne raced around the final barrel and out of the arena.
Megan jumped to her feet, clapping and whooping. Julianne had done it! And she hadn't fallen.
She probably looked like a crazy person—or just like one of the other parents—so she quickly sat back down. The pair of seats directly in front of her cleared.
A few more riders, and then Brady and Miles would ride in the junior pairs roping.
It seemed to take forever, now that Megan had had a hint of parental victory.
And then the boys were announced. A steer raced out of its pen, and Miles and Brady gave chase on horseback.
Brady would rope first. No one would've guessed he'd only been roping for a month as the rope swung in a beautiful loop over his head. He flicked his hand, and the rope snaked out and snagged on one of the steer's horns and the side of its neck. She saw Brady’s slight grimace.
"He wanted both horns," Megan whispered to Carrie.
"Still counts," Carrie returned.
Miles's rope shot out of his hands and snagged the steer's back hooves and tightened. The boys turned their horses to face each other.
The bell rang.
Brady's fist shot into the air. A good ride for him, too. Their time wouldn't win, but it had been an admirable first effort.
Megan stood, ready to go behind the arena and find the kids. Julianne approached.
"We can't leave yet!" Julianne cried. "I want to watch the grown-up girls race."
"But—"
“Hey!” Brady followed his sister, face covered with a slight sheen of sweat and dust. "Can we watch for a while, Aunt Megan? Please?"
The two of them shared a look. Something was up.
But the fact that Brady was being polite instead of sarcastic won him points. She agreed halfheartedly.
It would be a long night. They’d have to load up and return the Triple H's horses before they could go home. She'd had a busy day in the practice, a spate of summer flu cases taking up her afternoon and nearly making her late to pick up the kids.
And she needed to think through this Dan thing some more.
The kids squeezed into the now-empty seats in the row in front of Megan and Carrie. As the night wore on, they accepted congratulations from friends and acquaintances and some of Megan's patients as they passed by.
The sun set, and the arena lights came on to flood the arena. Mosquitos came out for dinner.
Megan was ready to call it quits, but as the men's pairs roping was announced, Julianne was suddenly on the edge of her seat.
And then over the loudspeaker. "Folks, I'm gonna ask your patience. We've got a special request from one of tonight's riders."
A cowboy in a light blue shirt and black hat stood on the raised platform across the arena, where the announcer and rodeo judges had been sitting all evening.
From this distance, she couldn't tell... the man looked familiar. Was that Dan? Those broad shoulders seemed familiar.
And then his voice came over the loudspeaker. "Hi, everyone." He hesitated.
And her heart was suddenly pounding. What was he doing?
"I…" He cleared his throat, the sound coming through the speakers. There was a squeal, and she thought she saw him wince. "Sorry. Some of you know my story. And some of you don't care. The fact is, I want to ask for your forgiveness for what I did almost five years ago." He swept his hat off his head. Wiped his forearm across his forehead. "That's right. You." He pointed at a random person with the hat. Pointed at someone else. "And you, too. All of you." He cleared his throat again.
Her heart was in her throat for him.
"A lot of you had a hand in my raising up, and I didn't act like a cowboy from Taylor Hills should. I got what I deserved, but a, uh…" He paused, seemed stumble over the next word. "A friend reminded me that an apology goes a long way. So I want you to know that I'm sorry for what I did. That's all."
There was another ring in the microphone. Dan handed it back to the man who must have been the announcer.
There was a smattering of applause from the bleachers. More murmuring, as if people didn't know what to do with Dan's apology.
Dan had gotten up in front of the whole town and apologized. What the heck?
She needed to find him. Talk to him.
Hold him.
She was on her feet without realizing it.
"Aunt Megan, we have to stay and watch the team roping," Julianne blurted.
Brady's eyes were a little wild.
But Carrie's hand on Megan's arm was a shock.
"Sit down," the other woman said.
Megan gestured toward the platform, but Dan had disappeared. "I have to…"
Carrie shook her head, her wide eyes trying to communicate something. "Just wait."
Just wait.
What did that mean?
"I'm gonna throw up."
Nate slapped Dan's shoulder, making his queasy stomach protest even more loudly.
"You didn't eat any supper," Nate said cheerfully. "Nothing to upchuck."
Dan had been too nervous to eat. A nervous wreck all day.
Part one of his plan had gone off without a hitch. He'd made a fool of himself but apologized to everybody at the rodeo. Word would spread around town in a matter of hours.
But that wasn't the reason for the nerves he felt right now.
He and Nate were going into the arena.
And he was going to—
"We're next," Nate said with another of those slaps to Dan's back. He was going to be bruised tomorrow.
Dan glared at him as the other man mounted up on his midnight-black gelding.
Dan's gut heaved as he mounted his own horse, the bay he'd ridden the night he'd kissed Megan.
"How come you're not nervous?” he asked Nate. “You haven't roped in years."
Nate smiled widely. "Roped competitively. We use our lariats nearly every day on the ranch. Nothing to worry about."
; Maybe for him.
The competition was fierce with cowboys from ten surrounding counties.
Dan heard the announcer read their names over the loudspeaker. A whoop from the front of the stands might've been Brady. Or Miles.
And then everything was white noise except for his heartbeat and the beat of his horse's hooves as he and Nate raced into the arena.
Nate's lasso shot out first, snagging both of the steer's horns.
Dan let his go only a fraction of a second later, tagging the back hooves. The steer froze.
And the crowd went wild.
They must've posted a good time.
Dan loosed his lasso as the rodeo clowns took over with the steer, releasing it and herding it out of the arena.
Heart causing an earthquake in his chest, he turned his horse not toward the exit but toward the fence in front of the crowd.
Searching... there. Megan was just behind Julianne and Brady, wedged in next to Carrie.
He sidled up his horse in front of her. Still a couple yard away, but close enough to see she was crying, tears making silver tracks down her cheeks.
His gut plunged.
But he wasn't a stranger to doing hard things. And he was going to do this.
He took off his hat.
Brady jumped out of his seat, Julianne following.
"C'mon, Aunt Megan," Brady whispered when she didn't move.
That seemed to galvanize her. She stood, though she looked a bit shaky, and climbed over the front bleacher to stand next to the arena fence, just in front of him.
He handed her his hat. She might not know it, but a man's hat was a personal thing. He was basically giving her his heart, there for everyone to see.
She took it, and he couldn't help the relieved grin that spread across his face. The way her eyes were shining up at him...
"What are you doing?" she whispered.
"Making a declaration."
Her face turned an adorable shade of pink.
"These folks have seen me make a lot of mistakes over the years. Some big ones. I think it's about time they see me do something right, for once."
Melting Megan: a Cowboy Fairytales spin-off (Triple H Brides Book 5) Page 7