Defining Destiny

by Deanna Chase

  “Something like that.”

  We’re quiet as the rain batters the truck, each lost in our own thoughts. It’s hard enough being away from Cadan, but that’s my choice. I can’t imagine how I’d survive if I lost him completely. For better or worse, he has a part of my soul. For Seth to lose his soul mate so young—I can’t even imagine the devastation.

  “Hey,” Jax says and rubs on the fogging window. “Is that Mike?”

  Before I can answer, she’s out of the car, running across the street toward Mike, who appears to be trying to force his way into the wrong house. Where is Seth? He’d been right behind Mike.

  I jump out of the truck and scan the area. Nothing. Within seconds, I’m soaked through. Damn. Jax and Mike stumble toward me with Mike’s arm draped over her shoulders. “Where’s Seth?”

  Mike doesn’t even acknowledge I’ve spoken.

  Jax hands me Seth’s keys. “Can you find the house key and unlock the door?”

  I fumble with the key ring, trying to get my frozen fingers to work. After three tries, I finally find the correct one and hold the door open for them. I follow and stand dripping just inside the door as Jax pulls Mike to the breakfast table. He sits and grins at her stupidly. “Hey, Jax?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Wanna help me out of these clothes?”

  She laughs and heads out of the room. A few seconds later, she comes back with a stack of towels and throws one at his head. He catches it but makes no move to actually dry off. After tossing me one, she wraps hers around her dripping hair and then shakes her head at Mike. He’s eyeing the way her shirt is clinging to her body.

  “Dude, stop,” she says and rolls her eyes.

  As she walks by, he grabs her hand and yanks her toward him. “Thanks for saving me from the rain.”

  She slides into his lap playfully and banters with him about getting out of their wet clothes.

  “Hey,” I call. They both turn and glance at me as if they’d forgotten I was here. “Where’s Seth?”

  Mike shrugs and hugs Jax closer to him. She frowns but makes no move to remove herself from his lap.

  “It shouldn’t take this long for him to get here,” I say and open the door.

  “Where are you going?” Jax asks as I head out.

  The wind whistles with the roar of the storm and I call out, “To find Seth.” The door slams behind me and cuts off Jax’s response.

  Jesus, it’s cold and utterly horrible out. Ice-cold rain drives into me sideways as I trudge down the street, searching for Seth. It’s too dark to see much of anything. Where is he? There’s no use calling out; he wouldn’t be able to hear me over the storm. I trace the steps toward the bar but don’t see him anywhere.

  Shit!

  What happened to him? My heart speeds up as I get closer and closer to the bar. Panicked now, I run across the street, splashing though a puddle that turns my feet to ice. He has to be here somewhere. Just has to be. Nothing is open, and the streets are deserted. But I press on. I can’t go back without him. I won’t. After circling the block twice, I finally spot him. He’s hunched over, leaning against a door as if he’s having trouble breathing.

  “Seth!” I continue to call his name as I run to his side. Then he straightens and looks at me with haunted eyes, ones full of anguish.

  My heart squeezes and feels like it’s breaking in two for whatever it is he’s seeing. “Seth,” I say again and wrap my hands around his forearm. “Are you all right?”

  He mumbles something about it being too late. He’s completely lost in another time, and I wonder if he’s even seeing me at all. But he lets me guide him toward his house, and that’s good enough for now.

  By the time we step inside, I’m shivering uncontrollably, frozen to the bone. Seth has gooseflesh covering his arms, but I’m pretty certain he doesn’t even realize it. He stands in his kitchen glancing around, but doesn’t seem to focus on anything.

  The pain lining his face touches that raw part of me that’s been aching for Dad ever since he passed six months ago. Seth is clearly still grieving and it breaks my heart. Slowly, I step up to him and cup his cheek.

  Recognition replaces the agony in his deep-green gaze. And all I want to do is take care of him. To do my best to keep that haunted look from his eyes.

  I don’t know where Jax and Mike have gone, but it makes little difference. My only concern is Seth. I lace my hand in his again and gently lead him upstairs. The room we’d stayed in the night before has a light shining under the door, so I bypass it for the next room. As soon as we walk in, I know this is Seth’s room. Seth’s and his mate’s. I freeze and the breath leaves me as my lungs constrict. No wonder he never brings anyone here. The walls are white, but there’s color everywhere else. The poppy pillows, the floral nightstands, the bright yellow lamps. I’d bet my last dollar his mate decorated this room.

  “This way,” Seth says and leads me to the master bathroom. Relief washes through me. White tile everywhere. No traces of the ghost that still haunts him.

  Seth stops in the middle of the room and stares down at me. I can’t quite read his expression. He’s intense, but not with desire. Just emotion.

  “You’re cold,” he says.

  “So are you.” I am cold, but I’m far more worried about what’s going on with him than my own comfort.

  “Shower.” He reaches over and turns the taps on, letting the water heat up. But he doesn’t move. He just keeps standing there watching me. The depth of sadness radiating off him caresses me, sinks into me, and makes me want to take care of him.

  With my fingers trembling, I reach up and work my way through the buttons on his shirt. My fingers start to regain some of their feeling as I fumble through the task.

  I want to strip my own clothes off and jump in the shower, letting the heat drive away the effects of the storm. But taking care of Seth is more important. I want to see that light in his eyes again. Hear the laughter in his voice. Somehow find a way to show him he can love again. Once the buttons are undone, I push his shirt over his shoulders and then tug the white tee over his head.

  To my surprise, he places his hands on my hips and runs them up along my sides, taking my sweater with his motion. A second later, I’m topless, standing only in my bra and black pants.

  There’s nothing romantic or erotic about either of us undressing the other, just a tender understanding of one human being needing another. We finish stripping each other and then Seth tugs me into the blissful, hot stream.

  I stand in front of him, my back to his chest with his arms wrapped around me. We stay there until the cold is driven from our bodies, if not our hearts. We don’t speak. Not even when Seth gently washes my body with shower gel, and then I do the same for him.

  Once clean, he stares at me, his eyes soft with tenderness and vulnerability. I stare back, lost in the moment until the water turns tepid. Releasing me, he turns the knobs to off. I hadn’t been self-conscious before, but I am now. I don’t know why, but the fact that we’d taken care of each other seemed almost more intimate than what we’d shared the night before. Almost. Wrapping my arms around my chest, I turn away from Seth, hoping he’ll disappear into the other room long enough for me to find a towel.

  “Here,” he says and gently wraps a bath sheet around me.

  I clutch the ends together and send him a grateful smile. “Thanks.”

  The sweet look on his face melts away all my apprehension, and the tension eases from my shoulders. “You’re welcome,” he says softly. “I’ll find you a robe.”

  Then he’s gone, and all I can think about is the way he’d been watching me. Cadan has never looked at me that way, as if I were someone to be cherished. The closest he’s ever come is while we’re singing and have that magical connection. But I’m certain it has everything to do with the way the music makes him feel, not the way I make him feel.

  While waiting for Seth, I towel-dry my hair and then wrap my body back up in the towel. The house is quiet, eer
ily quiet. Where are Jax and Mike? A knock sounds on the door.

  “Yes?”

  “I’ve got a robe and some socks for you,” Seth says from the bedroom.

  I open the door and smile at him. He’s wearing straight-legged sweats and a black T-shirt. No socks. I stare at his feet. “Your toes are going to get cold.”

  He doesn’t say anything, and when I look up, he’s gazing at me, his brows drawn together with indecision. Handing me the robe and socks, he says, “I can’t sleep with socks on.”

  “Oh.” I clutch the robe to my chest. “I’ll only be a minute, then I’ll get out of your way.”

  He frowns. “Out of my way?”

  “So you can get some sleep.” I slip the robe on and turn away from him to pull the towel off. Once the robe is cinched, I hand him the towel. “I’ll go find the guest room or the couch. Thanks for letting us stay. It’s ugly out there.”

  I’m almost to the door when his hand wraps around my wrist, stopping me. My pulse skips a beat, and I take a moment to collect myself. What is it about this guy? His very presence turns my insides into all kinds of crazy.

  “Stay,” he says.

  “Uh…” Is he propositioning me? There’s no denying I’m attracted to him, but having a repeat of the night before seems like a bad idea. Especially after the way I’d found him earlier.

  “To just sleep,” he says. “Nothing else. I promise.”

  I glance at his king-sized bed and raise an eyebrow. “You’re sure?”

  He nods and tugs me to the bed. “I’d really like you to stay.”

  “Okay.” Nervous anticipation zings through me. How would we spend the whole night together in the bed with me only wearing a robe and not end up sleeping together? It seems impossible, but I can’t stop myself from climbing in the bed.

  Seth crawls in after me and rolls onto his side, tucking me close. His arm slips around my waist, and he rests his hand between the folds of the robe, on my bare stomach.

  I sigh, instantly warm and comfortable in his bed. In his arms.

  “Good night, Lucy,” he whispers in my ear.

  “Night, Seth.”

  Chapter 20

  Seth

  Out on the street with the rain pounding away at me, I’d been right back there with E that night. The pain and anguish ripped through my gut as if I were experiencing the accident all over again. This wasn’t the first time I’d had a flashback so intense, but it’s the first time in a very long time.

  Then suddenly, Lucy had been there, a beacon in the sea of my anguish. And she’d brought me home, brought me back to myself by just being there. The way she’d let me hold her in the shower and then again in my bed had restored something vital in me. I’d barely even been a walking shell of a person since the accident. But now a small trace of acceptance starts to take up residence in my gut. I’ll never get over losing E. I know this down to my core. I only hope I can learn to live with it. And last night, in Lucy’s sure arms, something broke loose. For the first time in months, I felt like I could breathe. To just relax with someone else. I can’t let her go.

  The predawn light filters through the blinds as light rain patters against the windows. Lucy’s soft body is still snuggled against mine. Her deep, rhythmic breathing, indicating she’s still sound asleep, is more comforting than I care to admit. I want her to stay. I don’t want to know what the day will bring. I’d rather stay right here with her warmth keeping the darkness away.

  I lie next to her, taking in her silky dark locks splayed across my pillow, and force myself to not run my fingers through her hair. They twitch with the urge, but I don’t want to do anything to wake her.

  The minutes tick by as I watch her and I pray the moment never ends. I’m content, a state of being that is so wholly foreign I almost panic. I don’t deserve this. But then Lucy shifts and rolls over to face me. Her eyes are hooded, heavy with sleep. Sultry. My gaze shifts to her lips, and my mind turns off. I want her.

  She chuckles and sweeps her hair to the side, tucking the strands behind one ear. “Well, good morning.”

  I smile. “The best.”

  We stare at each other, not moving. My body goes taut with desire. And it has little to do with the fact the robe she fell asleep in is gaping open to reveal the creamy slope of her breasts. Though that doesn’t hurt. No. It’s the easy intimacy. And the way she puts me at peace by just being present.

  “I’ll be right back.” She scoots to the edge of the mattress and swings her legs out of the bed. A shiver visibly shakes her. When she cinches the robe closed, the fabric stretches across her round ass and I consciously hold back a groan. Damn.

  After a few minutes of the water running, I can’t help myself. I have to be near her. Padding into the bathroom, I grin, catching her brushing her teeth with a bit of toothpaste and her finger. “You know, that extra toothbrush is still in the other bathroom.”

  She spits and rinses then turns to me. “I didn’t want to wake Mike and Jax since I plan on climbing right back into that bed.” Her gaze runs the length of my body, pausing briefly on my chest. Then she raises one eyebrow. “Are you joining me?”

  This time my groan is audible, and her smile widens.

  She reaches out and strokes one finger over my abs. “See you in a minute.”

  I can’t keep my eyes off her as she saunters back into the bedroom, the silk robe showing every delicious curve. Sweet Jesus. Last night she’d been gentle, soft, and… solid. An anchor. My anchor. This morning, she’s sultry Lucy. The one I met at the club. The combination makes my chest ache with something between awe and fear.

  Standing at the sink, I press my hands to the marble and hang my head, taking a minute just to breathe. I have to let whatever is happening inside me go. She has a soul mate, and no matter how much I want her, she’s going to go back to him eventually. He’ll get his shit together one of these days, and she won’t be able to help herself.

  I should leave. Go down and make breakfast for everyone. Spending the morning loving her will only make it worse. I make up my mind to do just that, but when I reach for a towel after brushing my teeth, her discarded clothes catch my eye. The black lace bra I’d carefully stripped from her is lying on top of her sweater. The swell of her breasts is fresh in my mind and my fingers ache to touch her.

  Screw breakfast. I can’t leave her alone in my bed. Who am I kidding?

  “Hey,” she says, her eyes glinting with desire as I head back into the bedroom.

  I smile seductively, mentally peeling back the blankets covering her bare body.

  She laughs, a low, husky sound that makes me instantly hard. I could listen to her read a grocery list and die a happy man. “Jax calls that smile you’re wearing the panty-dropper.”

  “What?” I half-choke, half-laugh, then clear my throat. “Is that a trait shared by others, or only specific to me?”

  She smirks, then runs her pointed tongue over her bottom lip. “Hard to say. It’s the first time I’ve experienced such a phenomenon.”

  Holy fuck. She’s hot. I mentally calm myself before I throw the covers back and take her right here and now. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I run my fingers along her jawline, letting them trail softly down her neck.

  She takes in a sharp breath as I feather my thumb over her pulse.

  “I want to kiss you right here,” I say.

  She swallows. “I’m not stopping you.”

  The want on her face only makes me more determined to take my time. Watching her desire build is doing strange and wonderful things to both my mind and body. “In a moment,” I whisper and slide my hand down, dipping my fingers into her cleavage.

  Her chest rises as she arches into my touch.

  God, I want to take her breasts into my hands, clasp her taut peaks between my teeth, and tease her until she’s writhing beneath me.

  But that slow tremble taking over her body is too alluring.

  I take my time, exploring the satin feel of her skin as I slow
ly peel back the blankets.

  “Seth?” she breathes.

  “Hmm?” Cupping her hip with one hand, I slide down and press a kiss to her inner knee.

  She responds by spreading her legs, giving me full access. “I want you.”

  Satisfaction fills me to my core. I want this girl to want me. Want her to want only me. Shit. This is intense. I shouldn’t have these feelings. I don’t want them. But I can’t help myself. “You’ve got me,” I say and kiss my way up her inner thigh. I pause and gently blow against her sex.

  “Oh,” she moans and her hips rise slightly.

  I tilt my head up and smile in smug satisfaction. She wants me just as much as I want her. Her eyes flutter open, intense with need. She doesn’t say anything, just winds her fingers into my hair and applies the tiniest bit of pressure. Not a demand. A request. And I’m all too happy to oblige.

  Her sweet scent assaults me as I taste her, licking, sucking, teasing, using her moans of approval to unravel her secrets.

  “Seth,” she gasps and tightens her grip on my hair.

  I redouble my efforts, determined to coax her to climax with just my tongue. She bucks beneath me and I grasp her hips, stilling her, forcing her to give me complete control.

  Her cries grow louder, her entire body sparking like a live wire.

  “Take me,” she forces out. “I want you inside me.”

  Holy fuck. I want that, too. But I can’t bring myself to pull away until after she comes completely apart. I pulse my tongue against her faster.

  Her cries turn into high-pitched gasps as her body goes taut and then stills beneath me. Deep personal satisfaction fills me, and while her limbs go limp, I gently kiss my way up and over her left hip. She stirs beneath me, and I continue my exploration until I have one of her nipples right where I want it, clasped lightly between my teeth. Wrapping her legs around me, she lets out another gasp and grinds into my ever-hardening erection.

  “Now,” she demands, pushing at my sweats, lowering them as far as she can reach. I want to resist, drag this moment out for as long as possible, but when her small hand slips over my cock, I lose all sense of self-control and grab a condom from the nightstand.