When I opened my eyes, the bar owner was no longer alone.
Remy was propped up on the same table opposite her, and Daire was leaning against the big windows at the back of the space with her phone in her hands. I caught Ry’s little sister’s eye, and she gave me a little wave with the hand that wasn’t holding her phone. She also flashed me an encouraging thumbs up at the same time Remy clapped her hands together.
There were only three people in the room, but they felt like the most important audience I was ever going to play for.
I forgot about trying to impress my famous father.
I forgot about trying to make it big so my mom wouldn’t worry about me.
I let go of the idea that I had to prove something to anyone other than myself, and I just played my music the way it was meant to be played.
I sang songs about first love and heartbreak. My voice bled with feeling and emotion as I belted out tales of youth and how hard it was to be caught between thinking you knew everything, but really knowing nothing at all. Instead of upbeat and jaunty, the songs were slow and soulful, my voice filling the space in a way that surprised even me. I thought I would feel alone, and the venue empty without a band backing me, but I was enough… exactly like Ry told me I would be.
I made sure to play a song that was a little more up-tempo and another one that had a folksy-bluesy sound. I wanted to cover all my bases since the owner said she had eclectic taste. Before I knew it, thirty minutes had gone by, much longer than a typical audition. When I finally dropped the guitar and let it hang from the strap, all three women in the room with me cheered and clapped. Remy even stomped her feet and put her fingers in her mouth to let out a shrill whistle. It was more satisfying and rewarding than the hundreds of people screaming at the last gig.
I bent over to take a playful bow and lift a shaky hand to my face. My cheek was wet. I wasn’t aware that I had cried while playing, but it didn’t surprise me. Today was cathartic. Ry was right. Not even trying was a different type of failure. If I hadn’t put myself out there, if I hadn’t tried, I would’ve failed myself, and that was even scarier than the idea of letting my parents down.
I put my guitar in its case and jumped down off the stage instead of taking the stairs. Remy immediately squealed and darted across the big, open room so she could wrap me up in a bear hug.
“I’m so proud of you. That was amazing. You’ve never sounded better, Bowe.” She put her hands on my cheeks and used her thumbs to wipe away the moisture left by the unnoticed tears. “You were meant to be a star, my friend.”
I laughed a little but leaned in to hug her because my knees were weak, and I was back to being a bit unsteady. “It was scary, but I’m glad I did it.”
I grunted as Daire launched herself at both of us and wrapped us up in her arms, so all three of us were holding onto one another. “I’m so glad I got to see you play, Bowe. I know you were worried about being a solo act, but you killed it. You don’t need anyone else up there with you.”
She sounded just like her brother, but I appreciated the encouragement and her unfiltered candor.
“How would you know if I killed it or not? You were on your phone the entire time.” I was just teasing her, but Daire looked offended as soon as the words left my mouth.
She waved her phone in front of me and gave me a haughty look. “I was recording so I could send the video to someone who couldn’t make it but wanted to make sure he didn’t miss anything.”
My eyebrows shot upward as we broke apart and stood together in a small circle. “Ry asked you to record my audition?” I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was.
Daire nodded, which sent her nearly white ponytail flipping around in a very sassy way. “Yeah. He messaged me last night and asked if I was free. When I told him I was, he bugged Remy to bring me along so I could record you and send it to him. He’s got practice and some kind of team meeting today, but he still wanted to be here in some small way.”
“Oh, that was nice of him.” It really was. And maybe after he watched the video his sister sent him, he would realize he was always with me when I performed, regardless if he was in the building or not, because most of my songs were about him in one way or another. I couldn’t have gotten on that stage without his encouragement or his endless inspiration he gave me through his mere existence and our life experiences.
Daire grinned at me and gave me a knowing look. “He’s going to be blown away by your performance.”
“Even if he’s not, whoever ‘he’ is, I assure you I was.” I stepped away from my friends as the bar owner joined us. She bumped Remy’s shoulder lightly as she gave me a bright smile. “You sounded amazing, and Remy was absolutely right that you would fit right in with the line-up I already have booked for the summer. I would love to have you play here, Bowe.”
“I…” needed a minute because I was overwhelmed with both gratitude and pride. “I would be honored to play for you and your customers.” This felt like the perfect place to get my feet wet and figure out how to be a solo act now that I was committing to getting up on that stage alone each and every time I performed.
Remy’s friend clapped her hands excitedly and told me she would send me the standard contract she used for all her performers. The four of us chatted a little longer before Daire piped up with a suggestion.
“This place is pretty close to Dad’s downtown shop. We should swing by and see if he’ll ditch work and treat us to an early dinner.” She rubbed her hands at the prospect and looked between Remy and me for approval. “I’m sure he’d love to see you both while you’re in town. You know he’ll spoil us if we give him the chance.”
I was ready to agree when Remy’s expression switched from cheerful and excited to something remote and distant. “You two can go. I’ll pass. I’ll stick around and grab something with Suzy as a thank you for getting you in today.” She motioned to her friend, who was now moving around the bar, clearly getting it ready to open for dinner.
Daire gave her cousin a hard look before letting out an irritated sigh. “Your mom isn’t there, Remy. She only works on Tuesdays and Thursdays, plus the occasional weekend. She’s busy doing all the accounting for your dad’s businesses. She hasn’t been at either shop much lately, which you would know if you spoke to her more than once a month and didn’t argue every single time you did.” The younger woman sniffed and crossed her arms over her chest. Both Daire and Remy had the death stare down pat. It was obvious neither would give, so I broke it up by grabbing Daire and turning her toward the door.
“We can meet up with your dad another time. Tonight, let’s celebrate with just the three of us. I haven’t gotten to spend much time with either of you since I’ve been here.” Remy was always up to something, and when she wasn’t running around town, she was working. Daire was busy getting everything situated before she started college and moved into the dorms. She wanted to spend as much time as she could with her friends before they were all separated, and she was a popular girl. I wondered if her brother had any idea how much time she had spent stringing along cute teenage boys.
Remy visibly relaxed when the prospect of bumping into her mom was off the table. She told me to grab my guitar while she went to say goodbye to her friend. We left picking a restaurant up to Daire since she was most familiar with what was around us.
Once Remy was out of earshot, I pulled Daire toward the stage with me and whispered, “What in the hell is going on with her and her mom?” I thought Remy and I shared everything with one another, but I was clueless why she was suddenly so hostile and combative toward her tiny mother.
Daire made an annoyed sound and shrugged in a way that reminded me of her brother. “I don’t know the exact details, but something happened the last time she was here in Denver. I tried to pry the details out of Zowen, but you know, it’s the brother’s job to protect his sister no matter what. I do know Hyde was home on leave at the same time, so I’ve always figured it has something to do with that, but
Remy isn’t saying, and all the parents are deflecting.”
“Wow. I had no idea. Is she acting so cold toward her dad as well?” I couldn’t see her big, brawny father letting that behavior fly. Not that it made much sense that her mother was allowing Remy to give her the cold shoulder either. Whatever went down must’ve been BIG.
“I’m not sure. She was always a bit of a daddy’s girl, but when it comes to Hyde, she goes nuts. It’s hard to predict why she does anything when he’s involved. I thought it would get better when he deployed, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. I honestly wasn’t sure she was ever going to come back to Colorado. I’m so glad you decided to chase after my brother. It feels like you brought everything back together and made it how it’s supposed to be.”
I threw my free arm over her shoulders and pulled her close enough that I could touch the side of our heads together. “I missed you. I missed everyone here. I shouldn’t have stayed away as long as I did.”
“I blame my brother. He wasn’t as careful as he should’ve been. You’re the one thing in his life he’s ever been reckless with, and it blew up in his face.” She sighed and lifted her hands to pat her flat tummy. “I’m starving. Let’s go eat.”
“I was a little bit reckless with myself back then, so he’s not the only one to blame. Sometimes the timing for things needs to be right, or there’s no hope for them to ever work out.” And my timing always needed a little bit of work. “Hey, will you send me that video you recorded? I want to send it to my dad.” I wanted him to see that I managed to get up and play my songs on my own. It was finally a performance I was proud of. I would work really hard this summer and take full advantage of the opportunity I’d been given, so the next time he was in the crowd, he would see me fulfilling my dreams for real. I was positive he would be able to spot the difference.
Daire immediately started tapping away on her phone as we walked toward the door, waiting for Remy before stepping outside. The eldest Archer shouted a goodbye across the big bar as she hooked her arm through Daire’s on the other side, while simultaneously asking where we were eating like she hadn’t had a complete meltdown at the mention of her mother.
Something was going on with her, and I was going to make her give me the rundown even if she didn’t want to.
“Thank you for setting this up for me, Remy. It feels like you saved my life.”
She gave me a wink over the top of Daire’s very blond head. “No problem. I told you I would never stand back and let you waste your talent. I’ve got your back.”
She always had. And when she needed me to have hers, I would.
Ry
“HOW LONG HAS your shoulder been hurting?” My mom asked the question as she finished strategically wrapping kinetic tape around the front and back of my shoulder and down my bicep. I could see she was trying to keep her expression neutral and calm, but the way her forehead was furrowed, and the way she kept muttering under her breath, told me she was anything but.
I tried to shrug, but she’d taped up one side tight enough it didn’t move as easily as it should’ve.
“I played a little rougher than I should’ve before summer training. Uncle Rowdy tackled me, and I went down pretty hard, and then Dino took me out a couple weeks later. I got hit pretty good during training today, and it started acting up again. I keep landing on the same spot. It’s just dumb luck.” I tried to rotate the joint but didn’t get very far before pain shot all the way down my arm and into my fingertips.
“You should probably take some time off and let it heal fully.” She gave me a pointed look before moving to clean up the scattered medical supplies she’d gathered as soon as I showed up at home and told her I was having trouble moving my arm. Fortunately, I’d convinced Bowe to make the trip with me, so both my parents refrained from ripping me a new asshole in front of her. I think they were trying not to embarrass me, but the way my mom fussed over me was a bit mortifying anyway. “If you don’t, you might end up injured in the kind of way that will make it impossible for you to play long term. It might be a good idea for you to reach out to Orlando and see if he can set up a rehab program for you before your season starts.”
I dipped my chin in agreement and reached for the t-shirt I’d stripped off earlier. Orlando Fredrick was a friend of the family who had ties to my dad’s twin before he passed away. The guy worked on professional athletes, so I was lucky to have an in with him. If I didn’t, I’d never get in to see him over such a common injury. “I already left him a message and asked him to give me a call when he had a free minute.” I was stubborn and had no plans to quit playing, but I was also smart enough to know something was going on with my shoulder that could be a huge problem for me later on if I just ignored it.
I looked over to where Bowe was sitting with my dad at the big island, talking about her upcoming show. He told her about the first time her dad got up on stage in front of an audience and how horribly it went. Apparently, he got into an actual fistfight with his bass player before they even started a single song, and they were banned from performing in that venue ever again. He mentioned it took Jet a while to find with the perfect people to play music with, and reminded her that any form of art was always evolving and changing. It was up to the artist to adapt and grow along with it. The two of them got along well, and there wasn’t any of the struggle or awkwardness I experienced when I tried to chat with him.
Following the direction of my gaze, my mom patted my uninjured shoulder and lowered her head so she could speak softly into my ear and not be overheard by the other people in the kitchen.
“She’s even prettier now than she was when she was younger. She’s a perfect combination of her mom and dad. Ayden always says that she’s a mini-Jet, but now that she’s older and making big choices about life for herself, she reminds me so much of her mom. Ayden had the same kind of unwavering focus on her future, and she refused to fail. For what it’s worth, I always thought the two of you matched up well when it came to ambition and drive.”
I turned my head to look at my mom in surprise. “If you thought we matched well, why didn’t you ever say anything to me? Why didn’t you try and stop me when I decided to start dating Aston? I feel like everyone could see what my endgame was supposed to be except for me.”
My mom reached up and tugged on my ear and gave me a small smile. “I watched both those girls grow up. I wanted you and Daire to be close to all our friends’ kids. Your dad and I worked hard to build an extended family you would have surrounding you and supporting you forever. I wanted you to have the same kind of safety net he and I had. It didn’t really occur to me until you got older that those friendships might turn into something more. I didn’t want to influence you, because both girls are special in their own way. They are also very different, and what you needed from one at a certain point in your life might not be the same thing you needed from the other at a different time. As long as you were fair and honest and never purposely hurt either one, your dad and I agreed to stay out of it. As long as you never created a situation where we were going to have a conflict with their parents, we always figured it was best to let you kids figure out what you were doing on your own.” She laughed, which made her bright green eyes twinkle. “The funny thing is, your dad was ready to sit Wheeler down and have a chat with him after you disappeared. I always figured we would be the ones to apologize for you being careless with young love, not the other way around. I thought you would be a heartbreaker like your old man, not be the one who was heartbroken like me. You’re lucky I can still talk him off the ledge when I need to. He may not express himself the best, but you should know there isn’t anything he won’t do to protect you.”
“I think I’m like her.” I inclined my head toward Bowe. “A pretty good mix of both you and dad. I was an unaware heartbreaker before I was a member of the heartbroken club.” I would always regret that I underestimated how badly I’d hurt Bowe because I wasn’t brave enough to put my heart on the line.
&n
bsp; “Your sister is the one I’m going to end up apologizing for. That girl thinks playing with boys’ feelings is a game. Every single time I turn around, she has another guy offering to do her homework for her or begging her to date exclusively. She has no intention of limiting her options, that’s for sure, even though she doesn’t seem to be really interested in any of them.” My mom cleared her throat and gave my dad a narrow-eyed look from across the kitchen. “She definitely takes after your father in that aspect. He had no interest in committing to any one person until we got serious about one another.”
“Well, if she’s like Dad, then when she finds the right person, she’ll be done for the same way he was with you.” I got to my feet and offered to put everything away in her office that she’d used to bandage me up.
My mom handed me the big plastic box loaded down with everything she might need at home to treat a sports injury. That box had been around since I joined my first Pop Warner team when I was in elementary school. She sniffed a little and crossed her arms over her chest. “Don’t think I missed that you never agreed to take time off while your shoulder heals. I’m telling you it’s going to get worse, not as your worried mother, but as a medical professional. You think I don’t know how hard it will be for you to take a step back, but I do. I also know just how awful it will be if something goes wrong and you cannot play anymore. I think you need to look at the big picture, Ry.”
I wanted to, but the truth was that if I didn’t push through the summer, there was no chance I would start when the season started, and it was getting closer and closer to D-day. While I never talked about how often I thought about getting drafted and going pro, it was always on my mind. I’d definitely put the effort in every single day. The reason I didn’t obsess over what was next was because I’d always assumed it was a given. It never occurred to me that I wouldn’t be a professional football player after college, but now that I was watching Bowe adjust to all the certainties and absolutes in real-time, I understood that my mom made a really good point.
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