“What?” Maggie’s voice rose and brought a whimper from the baby, who was starting to show signs of discontent. “Sorry, Dani, but seriously. Auntie Jill needs to have her head examined.”
“You know how I feel. C.J. and I are doing fine. Why let someone in and chance rocking the boat?”
“I don’t say this lightly because I’m a mother now, too. I completely understand this maternal love that makes you want to surround your child with bumper guards and keep him safe.” Maggie met her gaze. “But you can’t protect him from everything and everyone forever.”
“That’s what Loretta Goodson said.” Maggie raised the baby to her shoulder when she started to fuss. “She said when life throws him a curve, he won’t have developed the skills to deal with it.”
“Wow.” Maggie’s expression was filled with awe. “I wonder how she acquired so much kid wisdom without kids of her own.”
“I’ll ask her sometime.”
“Take notes,” her friend advised. “Now, back to the doctor. I think everyone realizes that he’s not going anywhere. You don’t need to hold back your feelings—or anything else.”
“You’re wrong, Mags. The reason he agreed we can’t—get personal—again is that he’s a confirmed bachelor. Carrying on with someone and settling for less than a committed relationship isn’t the message I want my son to get.”
“It’s a valid concern. Again, motherhood does give you a different perspective.” Maggie nodded thoughtfully. “But I just need to say a couple of things before I stop ragging on you.”
“Okay, shoot.” Jill steeled herself for the lecture.
“First, don’t borrow trouble.”
“If I do, does that mean I have to give it back?”
“Smart aleck.” She shook her head. “It means you’ve already written an ending to the story. But you can’t see the future any more than anyone else can. You have to take the journey, take a chance.”
Jill wondered if Maggie would do it all again if she’d known what she knew now about how hard it was to lose the man you loved. But that wasn’t a question she could bring up.
Instead she asked, “What’s number two?”
The sadness returned to Maggie’s eyes, clearly indicating that this part had to do with the love she’d lost. “This is one thing I know with my whole heart and soul. If you don’t live in each and every moment, you’re not really living at all. Don’t miss an opportunity. Don’t let yourself have regrets.”
In spite of the fact that Maggie’s wisdom had come from tragic personal experience, she wasn’t recommending surrender.
When Dani started a full-on wail, Jill handed her over so her friend could breast-feed her baby. She missed having the warm body in her arms. She’d never been anyone’s wife, but loved being a mother, and it made her sad that C.J. wouldn’t have a brother or sister. She was sure of that because, in spite of her friend’s sad insight, Jill had a different take on it.
She couldn’t, just couldn’t, throw caution to the wind and risk being hurt, no matter how much she might want Adam to hold her and kiss her again.
Chapter Eleven
Adam stepped off the last stair onto the porch just in time to see Jill coming around the corner of the house hefting an eight-foot ladder.
“Stop right there,” he ordered, then hurried over. “Why didn’t you ask for help with that?”
She brushed a strand of red hair off her forehead and huffed out a breath. “First of all, I do this all the time and don’t need help. Second, I wouldn’t bother a tenant with something like this. It’s Saturday.”
“What’s your point? The ladder is still heavy and I’m stronger than you.”
“My point is that I wouldn’t disturb you on your day off. Maybe if there was a fire or the threat of a meteor strike. Possibly a NASA satellite hurtling toward the house. Otherwise, no.”
He grinned at her. She was possibly the only woman on the planet who could make him smile when she was telling him to mind his own business.
“First of all,” he said, echoing her words, “I’m pretty sure that we’re also friends in spite of the fact that I give you money every month and you let me live under your roof. Second, if you hurt yourself carrying something that’s too heavy for you, I won’t be off because I’ll get called in to work. On you.” He walked closer and put both hands on the ladder, stopping short of taking it away. “Where do you want this?”
“You’re awfully bossy.”
“It’s one of my best qualities.” The stubborn look in his eyes said he wasn’t letting go.
“In the house.” She stepped away and smiled. “Thanks, Adam. It is heavy.”
“Don’t mention it. I’ll follow you.”
Partly so he’d know exactly where to put it, but mostly to check her out from the back. The Blackwater Lake Marina sweatshirt she had on was pretty shapeless, but those jeans were perfect. If looking at her butt was an Olympic sport, he’d get all tens because practicing would be easy. He could watch all day. The only thing better would be cupping those soft curves in his hands, and his palms tingled now from wanting so badly to do it again.
“You okay?” she asked when he tripped on the top porch step.
“Fine.” Distracted and disgusted with himself maybe, but all in one piece.
Watching where he was going was important and he didn’t just mean right this moment. He had to keep focused. Eyes on the prize, which was building credibility along with a career in Blackwater Lake. No detour with his lovely, sexy landlady because it could cost him the fragile and hard-won respect of the people in this town.
Inside the house, she walked down the hall and stopped beneath an access panel in the ceiling. “If you could set it down right here, that would be great.”
The front door opened and slammed shut, followed by the sound of six-year-old feet running through the living room.
C.J. came to a screeching halt in the hall. “Dr. Adam!”
“Hey, champ. What’s up?”
“I was at the marina with Brew while Mommy went to visit Maggie and baby Dani. Then I saw you carryin’ the ladder for her. Whatcha doin’?”
“What are we doing?” he asked her.
“Furnace filters. They need attention twice a year, before summer and winter,” she said. “I’m actually late this year. That snowstorm threw me off schedule, but fortunately it’s all melted now and I’m good to go. Saturday is chores day and I’ve got a long list.”
“Okay.” Adam put one foot on the bottom rung of the ladder. “I’ll get it down.”
“Wait. I thought you were just carrying the ladder for me.”
“Now I’m volunteering for chores duty.”
“You don’t have to do that,” she protested.
“I know.” He climbed until he could reach the metal closures for the vent. When he slid them sideways and it dropped, he saw the metal filter. “This isn’t the disposable kind.”
“In my humble opinion these are better quality. I hose them off. Just lift it out and hand it down.”
“I wanna help,” C.J. said.
“Hold on, champ.” Adam did as Jill instructed, but handed the lightweight square filter to the boy and said, “Take that out back by the hose. There’s another one in the living room, right?”
“How did you know?”
“I wish I could say I’m psychic, but upstairs is the same floor plan. In fact, we might as well do those, too.” He braced himself for another protest.
“You’re sure you don’t mind?”
There was nothing on his day-off agenda except possibly a movie all by himself. “I’m sure.”
He moved the ladder and took out the filter behind the living room vent, then handed it to C.J., who was quivering with excitement while he waited. The boy took it outsid
e and returned just in time to see Adam at the front with the folded ladder.
“Where ya goin’?”
“Don’t bother Dr. Adam, kiddo.” Jill put her hand on the boy’s shoulder, a subtle cue to stay put.
“The filters in my apartment need cleaning, too,” Adam explained.
“I can help, just like I helped now.”
Adam knew the job would go faster if he did it by himself, but the eagerness and vulnerability in that small face tugged at him. With his chin tilted up, the scar was visible and Adam suspected there were more on the inside that didn’t show. His mom, too. The kid was soaking up the attention, craving the male bonding just as Jill had said. The chore might go faster alone, but alone wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.
“Okay, C.J.,” he said, “Let’s go upstairs.”
“What can I do?” The boy followed him out the door.
“Same thing you did in your house. It saves a lot of time if you’re there. I don’t have to climb down the ladder. You’re a really big help.”
“That’s ’cuz I’m six. Pretty soon I’ll be seven. Mommy said in a couple of weeks.”
“What do you want for your birthday?”
“A video-game player for the TV,” he said without hesitation.
Adam knew it was pricey. “Have you told your mom?”
“Yup.” The boy reached up and took the square filter.
“Just set that by the door. We’ll get the other one and take them both down for hosing off. I’ll leave the ladder here to put them back up after they dry.”
“Okay.”
“What did your mom say about the player?” he asked, folding the ladder to move it to his living room.
“Nothin’.” C.J. shrugged, but he wasn’t any better at hiding his feelings than his mom. “She asked what else I wanted, but that just means I won’t get what I really want.”
Adam could easily afford it and almost said so. He stopped just in time as an idea occurred to him. “Maybe you could do some extra chores for me and earn the money to buy it.”
“Really?” The hope in those bright brown eyes could steal a heart if you weren’t careful.
“Maybe.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“Give me a chance to talk to your mom. If she’s okay with it I’ll come up with a list.”
“Oh, boy!”
This time Adam followed C.J. downstairs and carried the filters. It was one thing to take a handoff, another to hang on and navigate stairs when you were six going on seven. They took them out back, where Jill was just putting the first two in the sun to dry.
“Hey, you,” she said to her son.
“Mommy, Dr. Adam is going to give me stuff to do so I can make money.”
“What?”
“For my game player,” he clarified.
Adam liked it a lot better when she smiled. There wasn’t a hint of a smile now and he felt the need to explain. “I can help and figured it would give him a sense of accomplishment.”
“I see.” The tone of her voice said she wasn’t happy about whatever it was she saw. “C.J., it’s time for your favorite chore of the whole week.”
“Aw, Mom. Do I hafta clean my room?”
“Yes. Now scoot.”
Apparently he knew resistance was futile because he said, “O-okay.” Then he looked at Adam. “I won’t be long.”
When they were alone, Jill’s eyes filled with something, but it wasn’t the anger he’d come to expect. If he had to name the emotion, he’d say dread. Apprehension.
“What’s wrong?” He took a step closer.
“You know the game player he wants is expensive and that I can’t afford it.”
“From what he said, I connected the dots.”
She lifted a hand to her forehead to shield her eyes from the sun that was dropping lower in the sky. “Don’t think I don’t appreciate the gesture, but taking care of what C.J. wants is my responsibility.”
“I’m just trying to help,” he defended.
“Not a good idea.” She shook her head. “I’m the one he depends on.”
The only one he can depend on. She didn’t say that, but he read between the lines. “Jill, I—”
“Please don’t.” She held up a hand to stop the words. “This subject isn’t up for debate. Thanks for helping with everything today. Now I better go supervise. To a six-year-old, cleaning his room means playing with the toys scattered around. Short attention span.”
When she walked inside, Adam was less interested in her butt than her story. It was the first time that had happened. No matter how much reassurance and evidence to the contrary, she just wouldn’t let go of the idea that he was leaving. He was no shrink, but it didn’t take one to know that she’d been deeply hurt by someone who walked out on her, someone other than “the last doctor.” He intended to find out just what had happened to her, mostly because he was curious and wanted to help if possible. But part of his motivation was just being selfish.
Adam badly wanted to sleep with her again, but he’d given his word that he wouldn’t. If only words would make the temptation go away. He had a feeling Jill was fighting the attraction, too. An agreement made with all the good intentions in the world wouldn’t hold up to a double dose of desire. When sex happened again, and it would happen, she was going to have to be the one to break the bargain.
* * *
Jill wasn’t quite sure how they ended up at Blackwater Lake Hardware late in the afternoon. Chores were completed and before Adam put away the ladder he asked about changing batteries in the smoke detectors, pointing out that it should be done twice a year. Some people thought when the clocks were turned ahead and back was a good rule of thumb, but for her it could be filter cleaning. She agreed.
Since she didn’t have the required 9-volt replacements, the doctor offered to drive her into town. If C.J. hadn’t overheard, she could have gracefully declined, but... Oh, who was she kidding? Adam offered and she didn’t want to decline, gracefully or any other way. So she was going to hell.
They walked past a winter preparedness display and Adam was carrying the two-handled blue basket. “What about flashlights and extra batteries? Snowstorms can snap tree limbs and bring down power lines.”
“I know,” she said. “And as far out as we are, you can be stuck for a few days. Sometimes it takes that long for the plows to get to us. If you don’t already have snow tires now might be a good time to get some. Phone reception can be spotty, too, cell and landlines.”
He picked up a flashlight. “So that’s a yes?”
“The old one broke.” When she nodded, he set it beside the package of square batteries in the basket.
“Can I have one, Mommy?” C.J. looked up at her with pleading in his eyes. “It’s dark outside and I really need to see where I’m going so I don’t fall and hit my chin and need stitches again.”
“Wow, that argument was well thought out and emotionally motivated,” Adam said, his voice full of admiration. “I see a career in law someday.”
“When he’s a lawyer, he can buy all the flashlights and batteries his little heart desires, but until then...” Jill sighed. “For now I have to say no. You can use mine, kiddo.”
Looking into two pairs of eyes—one brown and disappointed, the other blue and wanting to offer help—Jill felt as if she was letting everyone down. Adam had just been trying to help earlier. The idea of giving C.J. chores to earn the money for something he wanted was a good one and showed great father instincts for a guy who had no intention of being a father.
Maybe that’s why she’d gotten so defensive, that and her independent streak. Counting on anyone else was setting herself up for a big fall. She hated denying her son anything, but her budget was pretty tight and she still had to squeeze out
enough for his birthday presents.
She added flashlight batteries to the basket. “I think that’s all we need. Let’s go pay.”
Moving ahead, she got to the front of the store first. The kid behind the cash register was a stranger to her, but apparently he knew Adam.
“Hi, Doc.”
“Hey, Landin. How’s it going?”
“Could be better. Jimmy’s out for the rest of the season.”
“I know. Got a call from the orthopedic specialist at the hospital.” Adam didn’t say more, probably because of patient privacy issues.
Obviously he was talking about the football player with broken bones. This kid was a tall, skinny, brown-haired teen with gray eyes and a cute smile who didn’t look big enough for football.
“There goes our division championship. He’s the best wide receiver we’ve got.”
“Wait and see. Maybe John McLaughlin can step up. He’s in good shape and pretty fast.” How did Adam know all this? The question must have shown on her face because he said to her, “I did the team physicals before they started practicing. How could I not go to the games?”
That explained it. Apparently the teens embraced him in a way the adults loyal to her hadn’t. When the kid gave her a total for the purchases, Jill swiped her debit card, then keyed in the PIN. Before she could take her bag with receipt, Adam grabbed it.
“Good luck next week,” he said.
Landin nodded. “We’ll need it.”
A cold wind hit her when she walked out the front door toward Adam’s SUV at the curb. Then C.J. hit her with something else. “Mommy, my tummy’s so hungry.”
“We’re going straight home now and I’ll make dinner,” she promised.
“I can’t wait. It’s too far.” In his uniquely dramatic way, her son dragged his feet and limped along as if about to drop from lack of nourishment.
Jill met Adam’s amused gaze. “He goes from zero to starvation without any warning.”
“Growing boys will do that.” He snapped his fingers. “I’ve got an idea.”
C.J. stood up straight. “Is it ice cream at Potter’s?”
The Doctor and the Single Mom Page 14