“It means you’re a stick in the mud. You always drink. I always drive. It’s our unspoken agreement. Well, tonight, I’m drinking. Twelve years and we are finished. I deserve to celebrate just as much as anyone else.”
Josh smiled and shook his head. “Suit yourself. Are you coming outside, or are you going to hide in here all night?”
He talked me into going outside with him, and he stood at my side, letting me drink while he sipped at a water bottle. It was nice that he was taking the wheel for the night, allowing me to let loose for once. Not that he wouldn’t before. It was that I wasn’t usually interested in drinking.
Two hours passed, and I was visiting the bathroom for the third time. The alcohol was going right through me now that I had broken my seal and pissed that first time.
I washed my hands, leaning against the counter, and looked in the mirror.
I didn’t look half bad. My hair was up in a messy bun after I got annoyed with my ponytail getting pulled, and my eyes were bright green and glassy. I dried my hands on the hand towel hanging behind me and pulled the bathroom door open to find Josh standing there.
I gasped. “What the fuck, Josh? You scared the shit out of me.”
“Sorry. You left without telling me where you were going. I was worried.”
“What’s your deal? I’m fine. You don’t have to follow me around. I can take care of myself, you know?”
It was the beer talking. Even as I was saying the words, I could hear how bitchy they sounded.
“I know, but there are a lot of people here. Cut me some slack, okay?”
I moved into his space, ready to go around him, but he put his arms on the doorframe and stopped me. “Maybe we should go.”
“Now you’re telling me what to do?”
“Jenny, come on. It’s not like that.”
I crossed my arms.
He was annoying me, but something strange was happening too. He was being demanding, which rarely happened with Josh when it came to me, and I kind of liked it. My eyes moved over his arms, taking in the muscles and the light veins that worked their way up and down his arms.
“What are you looking at?” he asked, moving his arms away from the door.
“I like your arms. They’re sexy.”
His eyes went wide. “Yeah, you’ve had enough.”
“I’ll say when I’ve had enough.”
He reached out and wrapped his large hand around my wrist. “Come on, we’re leaving.”
I jerked my hand away. “I said, your arms are sexy, Josh. What do you have to say about that?”
“I’m not responding to that.”
“What if I said I wanted to kiss you? Would you respond to that?”
He scratched at the back of his neck, his cheeks flushing.
“Jenny.”
“Josh.”
And then something happened. I moved forward, pushing myself into his chest. I leaned up and kissed him without even thinking it through.
He pulled back, his fingers going to his mouth.
“What are you doing?” he asked
“I don’t know, but you should probably stop me.”
His eyes skimmed my face once again, his brows pulling down in frustration.
“What if I don’t want to?”
Then his lips brushed mine, and I stopped breathing.
Joshua Black, my best friend for forever, was kissing me, and even though I knew I needed to pull away, I couldn’t do it. I liked it too much.
He turned us, my back hitting the faux wood paneling wall. I spun a little with his quick movements mixed with all the drinks I had.
“This is wrong,” he said against my lips.
I reached down between us, cupping his hard-on through his jeans. “Then why does it feel so right?”
“Fuck.”
His kiss was hard and hurried, his firm body pressing into me. Throughout the years, Josh had made me feel many things, but the sensations skipping through my body every time he touched me were completely new.
His fingers dug into my hair before moving down the sides of my throat. I opened for him, kissing him like a seasoned professional even though technically I had never really been kissed this way. The forced kisses of the night I dare not speak of didn’t count.
He pulled back to catch his breath, and I sucked in one as well.
“Don’t stop,” I begged.
Begged.
Something I had never done in all my life.
A grin pulled at the side of his mouth, enjoying how crazy he was making me. Instead of waiting for him, I placed my palm on the back of his head and pulled his lips back to mine.
“So demanding,” he growled against my lips.
His fingers moved under my dress and up the back of my thighs, gliding over my ass and skimming my lower back before moving to the front and teasing my navel. I sucked in another breath through my nose and moaned on the exhale.
It was forward of me. I know it was, but I pushed his right hand lower until it was dipping into the top of my panties. He chuckled against my lips, knowing what I was obviously asking for. Then he gave me what I wanted, peeling back my panties to slide his hand inside until his finger skimmed me.
“Please, Josh,” I whined, thrusting my hips forward for his touch.
His finger slid down my slit, grazing my clit and making my knees shake. He moved lower until he was teasing my entrance with the tip of his finger, and I swore at that moment I was going to explode.
He circled my entrance, teasing me yet again, until I found myself wiggling and lowering, begging for him to put his finger inside me. He dipped inside with the tip of his finger.
“Is that what you want?”
I nodded, biting my bottom lip.
“Use your words, Jenny.”
“Stop fucking with me and do it.”
He chuckled again, his lips skimming my cheek. “Ask nicely.”
I growled in frustration. I was strung tight, my body throbbing for release.
I pressed my palm against the front of my panties, pushing his finger closer to where I wanted it.
“Nuh-uh. Ask nicely.”
“Fuck. Please, Josh.” My voice broke.
I had hit a new low, but since it was only Josh seeing me in my most vulnerable moment, I didn’t mind.
He gave me what I wanted, pushing his finger deep inside me.
“Oh my God,” I released the breath I was holding.
He swirled his finger, pulling yet another ungraceful sound from the back of my throat.
“You’re so wet. Is this what I do to you?”
I nodded.
“Words, Jenny. Say what I want to hear.”
“You do this to me.”
He grabbed my hand, pressing my palm against his hard-on. “And this is what you do to me. You drive me fucking crazy. Let’s do something to make you feel better.”
He pulled his finger from me, sliding up until he was massaging my clit.
Reaching up, I clutched his shoulders since I was sure my legs were going to collapse beneath me. My fingers dug into the muscles there, feeling it tighten with each swirl of his finger.
His speed increased, pulling an orgasm out of me with greedy tugs, and my body went stiff just before the wave crashed over me.
“That’s it. Come for me, baby.”
I shook with my orgasm, my head rolling back against the wall and a soundless scream holding my lips open.
“That’s so fucking hot.”
He pulled his hand out once I came down from my high, and when he began to peel my panties down over my thighs, I spread my legs to let him. I stepped out of each leg, and then he tossed them to the floor.
He locked eyes with mine, and I didn’t look down when I heard the tinkering of his belt. He pushed his jeans down and moved toward me, reaching behind my thigh and pulling my leg up onto his hip.
It was really happening.
After years of friendship.
Years of growin
g to love each other before falling in love with him.
Followed by years of yearning and wishing and dreaming of a moment like the one we were in.
It was perfect. He was the one. He had always been the one.
I pulled his head closer and captured his lips. He pressed his heat against my center, pushing it down and lining it up with my entrance.
“I always knew you’d be my first,” I whispered against his lips.
As soon as the words left my mouth and slid across his, his body went stiff.
Everything stopped, and he pulled back as he let my leg slide down and out of his hold.
8
Josh
What the fuck was I doing?
It was happening. After almost a lifetime with Jenny by my side as my best friend—after years of a platonic relationship with her—we were blowing past our friendship and into a whole other level of … hell, I didn’t know what it was we were doing.
I pulled away, tugging my jeans up to cover myself. I had never been so hard in all my life. Never wanted to push myself into the warmth of a woman so badly. The tip of my cock had been leaking since the moment she begged me to keep going, but her words had been like a wave of arctic water.
I always knew you’d be my first.
I had known Jenny was still a virgin. Hell, if I hadn’t known before I stuck my finger inside her, I would have known right away.
She was tight.
So fucking tight. And soft. And fucking wet and ready for me. I knew I had to be crazy to walk away from what she was offering.
But even before feeling how tight she was, I had known. Not only because I knew almost everything that happened in our little town, but no guy was dumb enough to fuck with Jenny. Not with me threatening them. Not with the thought of Devin’s rage raining down on them. And not with the possibility of getting on Jenny’s bad side.
Still, hearing her whisper those sweet words, knowing she was giving me something so special, scared me. I couldn’t do it. Not knowing I would be leaving her behind soon. It wasn’t right. She deserved more, and I knew I wasn’t capable of more right then.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, the slur in her voice more noticeable than it was before.
“This is wrong.”
“It doesn’t feel wrong.” She tried to kiss me again, and again, I pulled back.
Fuck.
What was she doing to me?
“Jenny, you’ve been drinking.”
“And?”
“And do you even know what you’re doing?”
She moved closer, pressing her body against me. I sucked in air between my teeth, making a hissing noise.
“Does it feel like I know what I’m doing?” She reached down, going for my button. “It’s only fair. You got me off. Let me get you off.”
“I’m okay. We shouldn’t have done that.” I pulled her hand from my button.
She pulled me in again, her lips locking onto mine, and I let go and kissed her back. It wasn’t something I could control. It was as if my body took over, needing her in a way my mind wasn’t comprehending.
The music from outside the room thumped, and I deepened the kiss, drawing out a long, deep moan from the back of her throat. I felt it in my cock, sending sparks through my balls and precum flowing from my tip.
She pulled back and took a breath before she moved in once again. I had a drink earlier in the night, but now that I was coming down from the haze of lust, the taste of alcohol on her breath seemed even stronger.
Did she even know what she was doing?
Was I wrong for responding?
For touching her.
If she hadn’t been drinking, would she have kissed me?
Would she remember any of this tomorrow?
Probably not.
For years, I had been warning guys away from Jenny only to do the one thing I worried others would do to her.
Take advantage.
I pulled away, breaking the kiss and sucking in the energy around me to build up the will to take a step back. She looked up at me, her green eyes watery from too much to drink.
“Why do you keep stopping this?”
I pulled my hat from my head and ran my fingers through my tangled locks with a sigh.
“Jenny, as much as I would like to keep going, it’s wrong. You’re drunk. I’m not going to take advantage of you that way.”
Her shoulders dropped, and I saw the moment her lust cleared, and the drunken anger stepped in.
“You’re serious?”
I licked my lips, tasting her, and nodded. “Yeah.”
“You’ve fucked everything with two legs and a pussy in this town, but me you say no to?”
Shit.
First, I hadn’t slept with that many girls.
Secondly, she was too drunk to make sense of this.
“It’s not like that, Jen.”
She crossed her arms and looked away. “It’s whatever. Blame it on the alcohol, right?”
She was pretending I hadn’t hurt her feelings, but I’d known Jenny long enough to know the look in her eyes was one of heartbreak. I was doing the right thing. I was sure of it, but I felt like shit.
“Do you want me to take you home?”
I hoped she would say yes. She’d had enough to drink, and I wanted nothing more than to take her home and get her to bed.
That was a lie. There was something I wanted more, but that would have to wait until the right time. It wasn’t right time.
“Yeah. Fine. Let’s go.”
She reached down and snatched her underwear from the floor. I turned my head as she quickly dressed herself. Then she stepped around me and left the room. I followed her, saying goodbye to our friends as we passed. Everyone eyed us, obviously feeling the tension between us.
Once we were in my truck, she stuck to the side and stared out the window as if I weren’t even in the truck with her. I didn’t speak to her. I knew better than to push her buttons when she was pissed. Instead, I rested my arm on the steering wheel and drove us across town and to her place.
When we pulled into her driveway, she wasted no time opening the door and jumped down from the truck.
“See ya,” she muttered.
“I’ll text you tomorrow,” I called out.
She nodded, stumbling away from my truck. She threw her hand up and waved bye before she disappeared into her house. I waited until I saw her bedroom light turn on and then turn off before I drove away.
As I drove home, I prayed things would be okay when the sun came up.
9
Jenny
I never had to pretend with Josh. It was the greatest thing about our friendship, yet that was exactly what I was doing.
Pretending.
I was acting as if our kiss hadn’t happened. Like he hadn’t fingered me. Like it wasn’t one of the most intense and best things I had ever experienced. Sure, he had done a lot of things with a lot of girls, but it was different for me. I didn’t go around dropping my panties for anyone. The alcohol had given me balls, but the fact was, I’d wanted that kiss. I had wanted his hands in my panties.
Touching me.
Getting me off.
And then, I wanted more.
Him inside me.
All around me.
I had dreamed of a moment like that with Josh for years, and it hadn’t disappointed.
The problem was, things felt awkward. We were still together all the time. That part hadn’t changed, but eye contact was nonexistent. We talked but never about anything important. And I noticed Josh was working the farm more than usual.
I stayed in the garage with Dad and Devin, changing oil and tires and freeing them up for dropping engines and other big jobs. When they didn’t need me, I worked on Carlos. I even got him to crank twice. It was kind of a big deal, yet I couldn’t get excited about it.
Things couldn’t stay this way. Josh was leaving for basic soon, and I wouldn’t let him leave while we were on such strange terms
.
Tossing my wrench to the side, I slid myself out from under the Dodge when I finished the oil change. I pulled my rag out of my back pocket and wiped the sweat from my face.
“Dad, I’m going to head out for a bit. You need anything?”
“Nah, I’m good here. Go fix whatever the hell is going on with you and that boy.”
I never knew how he knew, but my dad always knew when Josh and I were on the outs, which wasn’t often. And for some reason, even though he had known Josh as long as I had, he still called him that boy.
I stopped off at the E-Z Mart, which happened to be the halfway point between our place and the Black’s farm, and put five bucks in Dad’s truck before going inside.
“Here for your sugar rush?” Denny, the old man who ran the store, asked.
He knew Josh and me well.
“Yep.”
I went down my favorite aisle, the one with the candy, and snatched a bag of Starburst from the shelf. After I paid, I got back in Dad’s truck and drove the rest of the way to Josh’s place.
When I pulled up, I saw him out by the barn directing a horse inside. I turned the truck off and got out. Going across the lawn, I went straight to the barn. When I stepped inside, he was locking up.
“Hey,” I said, catching his attention.
He looked up at me before he pulled his hat off and swiped at the sweat on his forehead.
“Hey.”
I tossed him a bag of Starburst. He caught them and looked down at the bag confused.
“What are these for?” he asked.
“Listen, about the other night …”
He rubbed the back of his neck and nodded. “Yeah?”
“I’m sorry.”
Finally, he looked me in the eye. “You’re sorry?”
“Yeah. I won’t go into detail, but what I did was wrong.”
“What you did?”
“Stop repeating me and just say you forgive me so we can forget about it.”
“No.”
“Excuse me?”
“No. I’m not going to forgive you because you didn’t do anything wrong. If anyone should be apologizing, it should be me. I don’t know what came over me, but I had no right to take advantage of you. I’m sorry.”
“I’m not an innocent in this. Stop treating me like I’m helpless female. That’s not what’s happening here.”
Thick & Thin (Chubby Girl Chronicles Book 3) Page 7