by Amber Rayne
“I’m not Elizabeth.”
“I know. You’re not like anyone I’ve ever brought here.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
The weighted silence prevailed for several minutes before he answered, “Yes, it is. You should get dressed. I’d like us to go out for breakfast.”
Breakfast had never been uncomfortable between us, but it was now as we sat across from each other in the restaurant. I took small bites of my waffle, and he had little interest in his poached eggs. I’ve never been one for mimosas because it all boiled down to just drinking in the morning. But I accepted the offer when the server recommended one. Aiden glanced at me but didn’t speak until I had ordered another one.
“Ella, have I upset you?”
“No,” I lied.
“We don’t do that. I will not accept that from you now.” Although his tone was laden with command, it was gentle and raspy.
“Bull. You pretend to be this champion of truth and pleasure, but you’re not. You’re the dishonest one.”
He leaned back in his chair to watch me, waiting for me to finish. But that was all I had to say, and it was what I’d pondered throughout most of my shower and the drive to the restaurant. The alcohol only made it easier to say it. When the server dropped the second mimosa off, I pushed it out of the way. He moved it closer. “If it’s what you need to be completely honest, do it.”
I took a sip, but it didn’t loosen my lips or make my words flow any faster. I was fixed on his intense amber eyes that made holding his gaze difficult.
“Go on, Ella.”
“This started out as two people just enjoying each other’s company, but now it’s more. I don’t understand why it has to end. Why you arbitrarily picked twenty-one days.”
“It was seven days,” he offered coolly.
“I don’t think it’s just sex between us. Look at you. Any single woman in this restaurant would probably go home with you.” And probably a few married and engaged ones, I thought, recounting the woman he’d picked up at her own bachelorette party, who we’d seen at a bowling alley and who was clearly still interested, although she was there with her fiancé.
“It’s not. I enjoy your company,” he said in a flat tone.
“Then why make yourself miserable?”
He chuckled and the sparkle that it brought to his penetrating eyes remained even after his laughter ended. “Although I will concede you have many qualities you should be arrogant about, I’ve never taken you for one to actually be arrogant.”
“I’m not being arrogant. I like being with you. I like this, and I don’t want it to end tomorrow. I want to see what happens.”
“I’ll save you the trouble. I’ll hurt you…I always do. You’ll run to someone else to ease it. Whether it’s in a week or years from now, it will happen.”
“So that’s your life plan? To have these days and weeks with some random woman who’s coming off a broken marriage or engagement, or pick up some random woman at her own bachelorette party and screw her until you get bored?”
“I’m not sure what you’ve imagined between us. I hope nothing more than our weeks together. I like you. And any man that you love can call himself lucky because of it. But I can’t be that man.”
“You’re afraid that I’ll hurt you.”
“No. Of the women I’ve been with, I think you will actively do whatever you can not to, even compromising your own happiness to do so. So I’ll save you the trouble. I don’t want to be with you. I don’t say this to be cruel but to be kind. We can continue with this discussion, but the end result won’t change. I ask that you not do this to yourself. Find a nice vanilla guy, get married, and let this be a story you reminisce about with your girlfriends. Okay?”
I nodded. That all I could do before I tossed back the mimosa.
“Would you like another?”
I shook my head. “Let’s get out of here.”
I needed air. A lot of it. We spent the day doing the very thing we’d promised not to do: lying our asses off and not being open and honest with each other. Well, I couldn’t speak for Aiden, but that’s what I was doing. Pretending I wasn’t hurt. Faking like I hadn’t on more than one occasion imagined our life together and ended up scolding myself for being juvenile.
That night we had sex, like animals in heat. He explored my body in ways he hadn’t before and many of the ways he already had. I came so many times that even if I wanted to move to the other room, exhaustion prevented it. That night, our last night, we threw out the rules of not sleeping together again, and I lay wrapped in his arms, my eyes closed, savoring our last night together.
Aiden’s hand rested on my hip, rhythmic strokes of his thumb feathering over my skin. “Are you ready to go back to work?”
I made a sound. “You mean am I ready to go back to ten-hour days, my phone buzzing throughout the day, and answering nearly fifty emails before I can finish my coffee?”
“I didn’t realize it was such a dream job. Maybe I should drop you off now.” He kissed me lightly. His lips lingered over mine before he pulled away.
“Actually, it isn’t that bad. I miss it.”
The conversation held a hint of finality to it. The way you spoke with your classmates on the last day of school, or your colleagues on their last day of work, in inane casual platitudes that meant absolutely nothing. Empty conversations to fill the space. He glanced around the room, briefly looking over the packed suitcase and the garment bag.
“I’ve enjoyed you, Ella,” he said softly.
“I’m just a phone call away. It’s not like I’m leaving the country, or even the city.”
He brushed his hand over my cheek. “Of course,” he said in an even tone. Eventually he gave me a faint smile. “I am, too,” he offered, but I suspected it was out of courtesy. A platitude that you returned when someone said it to you.
He rolled to sitting, the view outside my window commanding his attention for several long moments as he ran his fingers through his hair. I reached out to touch him but decided against it.
“What time would you like Bane to take you home?”
“You’re not taking me home.”
With his back still to me, he shook his head. “I have a meeting.”
“On a Sunday?”
He nodded.
Crushed, I refuse to allow it to show in my voice. “Nine in the morning is fine. Will you still be here?”
Again, a weighted silence commanded the room. I wanted to say something to make things better. Get some affirmation that this was more than two people screwing for twenty-one days. I had to accept the fact that even if it was, he wasn’t prepared to act on it. He’d made it clear it wasn’t what he wanted.
When he lay back down, I put on a brave front. I said. “Goodnight.”
He stood and kissed me lightly again, this time pressing his lips against my forehead.
CHAPTER 6
The next morning, I awoke to the smell of French toast that wafted through the room. I showered and went into the kitchen. Aiden was dressed in a dark designer suit and a multicolored tie that drew out the honey-brown undertones in his eyes. The gaze stayed on me as he approached. He met me midway and pulled out the chair in the kitchen, bringing a plate over to me.
“You’re not eating?” I asked.
“No.”
“Just here to see me off and make sure I leave,” I teased, placing a forkful of food in my mouth.
He gave me a plaintive smile that slightly curled his lips, his hands steepled as he watched me. Eventually his hands dropped and he ran his thumb lightly over his bottom lip. The stiff, uncomfortable silence became too much. Before I could say anything, he spoke.
“Ella, I do wish things were different. I just—”
“It was fun. And that’s what it was supposed to be. I can’t remember the last time I thought about Jason and felt empty.” I was a liar—a huge liar. I didn’t feel empty because Aiden was there, filling that void in more ways than more.
I liked Aiden, but denying it was the only option, and I directed my anger and frustration with the situation at Elizabeth. I doubt he ever gave her the satisfaction of knowing that this all was a result of him not wanting to fall in love again.
“Good.” He nodded. When Bane entered, Aiden came to his feet, and again I was treated to a simple brush of his lips against my forehead. Nothing as heated as the lips that had commanded my body, taken me to heights of ecstasy, tasted me and kissed me, leaving hints of it on me. They were the lips that whispered dirty things to me and had my body thrumming from all the deliciously naughty things he whispered to me. Or lips that demanded truth, and for me to explore this and care more about pleasing myself than others. I waited for him to turn back so I could get another glance at him, but he didn’t. He went into his office and closed the door behind him.
“It’s been a while. Do you want the usual?”
I heard the barista, but my attention was fixed on the chair next to the window, the one where Aiden usually sat. It was café Americano’s seat. I expected him to return—for things to be somewhat the way they had been before. Glances from across the room, flirty smiles, staring, intrigue. But I guessed there wasn’t anything more to be intrigued about.
I pulled my attention from the chair and nodded, but as they prepared my drink, I kept looking over in that direction. I shook it off, and when my coffee was ready, I quickly started out the door. A firm grip grasped my arm, stabilizing my hand before the cup could tumble out of it. Those familiar amber eyes looked down at me, flickering with amusement, a sexy smile kinking his lips. He moved me over to get out of the way of people filing in to get their caffeine fix.
“You’re in that big of a rush to get back to work?”
“I’m sorry…no…I looked… I was just trying—I need to get to work.” Fuck. I couldn’t very well tell him I was upset because I’d expected to see him.
He was still smiling, his hand still on my hand. He slipped the cup from my hand and took a sip from it. “Still sweet, but I see why you like it.” He took another drink.
The street was getting crowded, and I had several blocks to walk to get to work. I needed to go, but I couldn’t. Instead, we stood in the middle of the sidewalk and I quickly became oblivious to the crowd around us.
“Have a good day at work.” He leaned down and kissed me, lightly at first, then pulled me closer, kissing me harder. His tongue danced along mine and I leaned into him, wanting and needing more. He pulled away. Each time we kissed or he touched me, there was a finality. An unspoken goodbye that neither one of us wanted to commit to.
He moved away, but not to the café. Instead he got into the car parked just a few feet away. I gave him a halfhearted wave as he ducked into the backseat.
When I arrived at work, Jules, the owner of the company, crushed me into her, giving me a firm hug. She leaned back, her hands now bruisingly tight around the tops of my arms as she assessed me. “My Ella’s back,” she said and again, she hugged me.
Then she fell in step with me as I made my way to the office. “I switched a couple of accounts back over to you. Just half of your—” Then she stopped, assessing me again and smiling. “You look so happy.”
How did I look before? A revenant, and I was sure I’d behaved like one, which was the reason she had given me three weeks off. I hadn’t been performing my job well, and if I were anyone else, I would have been fired. Jules didn’t run the typical corporate business, though; she believed employees were the foundation of a successful business, and perhaps it was true. Her employee retention was better than any I’d ever seen. People felt emotionally invested, and as I booted my computer up, I was excited to be back to work. I still believed that banality that if you did something you enjoyed, you wouldn’t have to work a day in your life was patently false, but I enjoyed my work. Within an hour after arriving at work, it felt like I hadn’t left. Four hours passed, and I had reacquainted myself with the various accounts and prepared to have one of my typical lunches. I opened the drawer, and my microwave popcorn and granola bars were still there. I took out a bar and a bag of popcorn, and someone knocked on the door.
I knew it was Jules. She had a terrible habit of knocking while opening the door. I invited her in. Her brows drew together, a frown firmly in place.
“You have a visitor,” she said, her tone frosty as she pushed the words through her teeth, making an attempt at a smile.
She opened the door wider. Jason stepped in, holding a bouquet of tiger lilies. His dark gray suit, paired with a black shirt and monochromatic tie, made him look too dark, and as nefarious as his intent. Jules waited, looking in my direction, attempting to figure out how to handle the situation. Me too. What did he want? After several moments of contemplation, during which it was obvious that that Jules was ready to kick him out at a moment’s notice, I finally said, “Thank you, Jules.”
After she had exited, I directed my attention to Jason. “Why are you here?”
He grinned and then made a cat’s meow sound. “There she is.” He made his way over to my desk and handed me the flowers. I couldn’t believe he actually remembered, since it had been so long since he had actually given me my favorite flowers. I guessed he could remember when it was advantageous to him. I resisted the urge to lean in and inhale them.
And just as I suspected was his intention, the flowers rekindled my memories of how it had been when we’d first dated. When he was kind and loving and our relationship hadn’t devolved into him coming in at all hours of the night, his thinly veiled insults, and his daily dose of making me feel like he was doing me a favor by being with me. And I’d endured it just because he was the right guy for me on paper. The type of man that my parents wanted me to be with. One from an affluent family, vice president of one of the largest banks in the city, with an MBA from a prestigious university. His credentials were something my mother never let me forget and advised me to think of whenever I considered leaving him.
“Why are you here?” I asked again. I managed to keep the irritation out my voice, but my eyes still narrowed on him, giving a once-over to the man who’d called off our engagement a couple of weeks before the wedding, used my mother to retrieve the ring he gave me, and married his mistress the week he was supposed to marry me. And the first time he saw me after his betrayal, the only thing he could say to me was that I was a good lay. The feelings I had for him seemed like a distant memory, and yet he stood before me, swathed in his arrogance. The kink at his lips and his air of confidence overtook the room.
He laid the flowers on the desk and then perched on the edge of it. “Ella, I didn’t realize how much I missed you until I saw you after we ended it—”
“It wasn’t after we ended it. It was after you ended it,” I said, sternly leaning into the desk, trying to ignore his smug, arrogant smile. “And I doubt that you would be feeling this remorse if I wasn’t with another man.” A man like Aiden Matthews.
He sighed heavily, reaching across the table and brushing his hand against mine. “Ella, I am not a man without flaws. I will admit, seeing you with another man hurt me. It was then I realized I took you for granted. I should be the one who’s with you.”
“I’m sorry, did you come to that conclusion before or after you said the only reason Aiden wanted to be with me was because I was a good lay?”
He chuckled, and the amusement reached his eyes as a twinkle of mischief and haughtiness. “I’m not immune to jealousy, Ella. Please, give me a chance to make this up. To win you back.”
I moved my hands from under his and relaxed back in my chair, nearly rendered speechless by his arrogance and his sense of entitlement to me. Did he really think that he could just hurt me, be reckless with my heart, and return to me when he got bored with his wife.
“And if I were to give you another chance, what would happen?”
“We would start over fresh. You don’t have to worry about me straying, because you are what I want. I still love you, Ella, and I really want
this to work.”
“And Rebecca? Do you just go home and tell her it’s over? Or do I get to be your mistress until you decide to grow a pair and tell her it’s over?”
“I think Rebecca realized it from the moment she observed how torn I was to see you with another man. Yes, I will give her the courtesy of letting her know. But our relationship has been strained.”
“So when would you tell her?” I pressed.
He hopped up from the desk and moved closer to me. Brushing the hair away from my face, he slid closer until we were just inches away from each other. “Let’s not discuss Rebecca right now. Let’s focus on us. We can make this work, and I’ll deal with her later.”
I slipped my phone out from under the computer stand, where I had easy access to it. When I spoke, I started out softly taking care with each word. “When I first saw Rebecca’s number in your phone, I knew something was going on. I knew she was more than just an assistant, so I saved her number in my phone. And when you broke off the engagement, I purged your number from my phone, but I never deleted hers. And I’m so glad I didn’t. Now you don’t have to worry about telling her how you feel. She already knows.” I turned my phone towards him and showed him the text message. I’d sent her a recording of our conversation.
He became pallid until streaks of anger rose along his face. “You bitch,” he spat angrily.
“I am. But you made me this way, so deal with what you created. This will be the last time you come near me, or I will make you regret it. We are done. I don’t want you in any way. And honestly, I can’t believe I actually ever did.”
It took a few minutes for him to gather his thoughts, to grasp the magnitude of what had happened. When he got home, it wouldn’t be to the doting wife who had once been his mistress and probably had her own insecurities. I hoped he went home to a woman who was more vengeful than I could ever imagine. Who would raise the hell that I never could but should have.