by Bonny Capps
Rolling off of the bed, I rip the scraps left over from my favorite red dress from my body. I’m only wearing my bra as I join Dimitri in the shower. “You allowed him into our bedroom. You allowed him to rape me in our bed.”
He doesn’t respond as he leans down and turns on the water. I watch the muscles in his back stretch and flex. “What did I do? First the rink, and then him. Did you tell him to hurt me?”
Dimitri places a hand on the tile, and without looking towards me, he gestures to the shower. “Get in.”
I don’t move, I just stare at him with bewilderment. I’m so fucking desperate to understand why he does what he does, even if I look weak and vulnerable in the process. He’s manipulated me to care … to hurt when he hurts me, not only physically, but emotionally as well.
“No,” I state clearly, not allowing my trembling voice to deceive me.
My mother taught me long ago to be a fighter. To strive for success, to work hard for my dreams, and that anything is possible if I put my mind to it. I want nothing more than to understand this enigma that stands before me. He gives me slivers of hope before he hurls chunks of dismay at me.
“Dimitri,” I whisper before stepping towards him and placing a hand on his bicep. “I am not trying to test you, or to hurt you. I just need to know what I did wrong. Why do you keep reverting back to this? I’m trying to understand.”
Scoffing, he shakes his head as his arm falls to the side. “Why? Why do you want to understand? After everything that I’ve done to you?” His eyes snap shut. “Please just get in the shower.”
I frown at him before reaching behind me and unclasping my bra. He leaves me alone as the water beats down over my head, and I try my hardest to wash the politician from my body.
After I pat the remaining rivulets of water, I wrap the towel around me before I open the bathroom door. The maid situates the new bedding before she scoops the dirty sheets and blanket from the floor and exits the room.
Dimitri stands in the same spot where I was when the politician came into the room. He clearly looks disheveled as he stares out the window, and I wonder if it’s because of what happened to me, or if it’s something else.
“Are we going below tonight?” I murmur, diverting my eyes.
“Yes,” he rasps. “Your hands must match mine, otherwise ….”
“Otherwise?” I whisper, staring down at my red toes.
He sighs. “I cannot hurt you anymore. You want to understand … I also want you to understand. You will only spend two more nights with Benedikt. After that, he will not touch you again. Nobody will, but me.”
My eyes snap to his. “Benedikt is the man that came in here?”
He nods. “Benedikt Bogrov. He is the Prime Minister of Russia.” My lips part as he continues. “You are sleeping with him solely to keep you here, with me. Your American friend, she is going to travel here in search of you. It is imperative now, more than ever, that you understand your place.”
I shake my head slowly. “Can I see her? Mirna?”
His eyes flit to mine momentarily before travelling back to the window. “No. You cannot. Sofia, I need you to be the beauty that you are. That is all. I made reservations for us to go to the ballet next week. I want to take you out. I want you on my arm. I want to show off my wife. I do not want this place to be your prison.”
He turns towards me, and I nod. “Okay.”
His lips purse as he tucks his hands in his pockets and approaches me. “I love you, Sofia.”
I nod, forcing a smile as I stare up into the windows of his tormented soul. It can’t be easy to be so conflicted—so crazy. Like a subservient wife, I place a hand over his cheek and tell him what he wants to hear.
“I love you too, Dimitri.”
I wait in one of the rooms where the blood red curtain hangs to the side. I hate it down here, and I’m sure that whatever I’m to see will leave me more traumatized than I already am … if that’s even a possibility.
He had me wear a black cloak and a god-awful mask. It’s like the one that he wore when he chased me down the hall when I first came here. Only, it’s not a cat; it’s a mouse.
Disgustingly fitting.
Vlad enters wearing no shirt and a gimp mask. I swear I can feel the room shake with each of his giant footsteps. His dark eyes find mine, and I hear him chuckle behind the mask as he shakes his head and murmurs, “Eto ne mesto dlya zhenshchiny.” This is no place for a woman.
I glare at him. “Zatknis’.” Shut up.
He looks at me from over his shoulder, and I smirk at him as I place my hands on my hips. He will not hurt me. Dimitri might not be as large of a man, but he is far more powerful. If I am his queen, like he claims me to be, I am going to act like it. Any disrespect from this oaf will be quickly shot down.
He holds his hands up. “My apologies. I meant to say that this is no place for a woman, unless she has come to die.”
When I’m about to retort, I hear a girl screaming outside. As soon as I see her, I realize that it’s the girl that spit in my face.
“You!” she shrieks, as she writhes in Andrei’s arms. “I knew that I would see you here! I knew that you would lead me to death! Devil woman! Evil woman!”
“Enough!” I snap, my eyes locking onto Dimitri’s. He watches me as he leans against the far wall, toying with a sharp switchblade in his hand. “Secure her onto the board,” I demand, and she screams as they get to work on tying her down.
I approach my husband, watching his eyes as he drinks me in. Nothing matters more to him than this moment, and goddammit, if he won’t hate fuck me by the time this is all said and done. This woman is going to die whether I like it or not. Now if she dies quickly, that’s my prerogative, and I have to do what I can to make sure that she suffers as little as possible.
I reach a hand towards Dimitri, and he smirks knowingly. “No knife, wife. She is to suffer.”
I smile. “I need the knife so that I can remove her clothes.”
He shakes his head slowly. “You can remove them with your teeth.”
With his remark, my hand falls, and I begin to think of other ways.
Surely, if I bite as hard as I can, as deep as I can, I’ll hit a major artery. I will try and make it look as seductive as possible. I will show him my blood stained teeth, and my crimson soaked lips. I will sink my teeth deep, hoping that I don’t catch a disease.
These men use these women. I’ve seen the blood between her thighs, and I’ve seen her wince every time that she sat to take a piss. I don’t know why this hasn’t ever happened to me, and to be frank, I feel guilty as hell. Then again, a lot has changed since Vadim left and Dimitri took over.
It should have happened to me; the same shit that these monsters have subjected her to. I should’ve ate, breathed, pissed, and shit what she’s been through. I can’t blame her for being pissed. Like her, I am a woman swarmed by bloodthirsty brutes. I should’ve endured her same demise, yet here I am, dishing it out—hoping that she dies before the knifelike wires cut her through, all the way to the other side.
I shudder when I hear the 8MM begin to click. The show is on.
How Dimitri creates these contraptions, or the fact that he’s sick enough to think them up, is beyond me. Truth is, he does, and this is like a good ole relaxing game of golf for him after a long day.
The girl’s screams continue, and it seems like they’re piercing my eardrums. I look over and see Dimitri’s calm and collected demeanor, and it makes my stomach roll. Where this is utterly terrifying for most, including myself, he’s in a happy place.
His joy is derived from another’s demise. His peace exists in the chaos.
He nods for me to begin, and my eyes fixate on the girl and the contraption that she’s strapped to. The wires have about an inch of space between each one, and the frame is situated on a track that will slowly move towards her body which lies flat against the board.
I can see her sharp hipbones stick out as well as her ribs throug
h the scraps of white lace she wears.
Her face is gaunt; her cheeks sunken in and her black eyes wild. I wonder who she was before this place. What dreams she might have possessed. What life she must have led before Dimitri happened.
I swore to myself that I wouldn’t analyze whoever was brought to this room. I promised myself that I would remain blind to who was brought before me, and that their screams would fall on deaf ears. But I can’t. Unlike Dimitri, I am human. I’m not a heartless monster.
Regardless, I have to do this. It must be done. If I don’t, then she will die and he will punish Eva. If it wasn’t for my daughter, I would’ve taken the chance to save this girl. The only thing that I can do, is sink my teeth in deep, and hope that she bleeds out before the machine slices her frail body into dozens of pieces.
I approach her, attempting to calm myself, but that’s impossible with what I’m about to do. Leaning forward, I whisper into her ear, “Listen to me, alright. I’m not going to pretend that I know how fucking afraid you are, but I’m going to try and end this as quickly as possible.”
I begin to pull away, but she whispers, “Wait. I-I am from Kazakhstan. A city called Almaty. Tell my parents that I … that I went peacefully. My name is Zarina Kim.”
I nod slowly as I bend and bite down on a piece of lace before yanking it with my teeth. Once her clothes are removed, I stand straight, and give her a lingering kiss on her neck before murmuring, “I’m sorry.”
Then, I bite.
I hope that I am sinking my teeth deep enough into her neck to hit her carotid artery. Once I break skin, I feel her body shivering incessantly against mine as her blood pools on my tongue. My jaw is locked, my teeth grinding back and forth as I search for the artery. Her screams become muted, and all I can hear is my heartbeat.
The blood, once dribbling, is now spewing into my mouth. I’m sure some of it makes it into my throat, but the majority of it escapes through the sides of my mouth before pouring over my breasts. The coppery taste awakens the buds on my tongue as I struggle to keep the muscle and veins between my teeth.
Like waking from a fuzzy dream, everything comes back to me when I hear Dimitri.
“Enough!” he roars, and like a trained dog, I unlock my jaw and back away from her.
He wraps his strong arm around me before pulling me across the room. I’m in a daze as he barks orders at the men.
“Start the machine! Highest setting! We do not have much time!”
I watch dizzily as Andrei and Vlad manage the machine, and the room is filled with an earie “squeak” as the wheels scrape across the tracks, and the wires get closer and closer to the girl. She isn’t screaming anymore. Her skin is ghost white, and the black circles around her eyes have become more prominent as the blood continues to pump from the wound that I inflicted on her.
She’s dying, but not quickly enough. The razor-sharp wires are inches from her weakened form, and her wide eyes tell me that my attempt might have been all for not. She musters the little energy that she has left for one last blood curdling scream, but she’s quickly silenced as the wires slice her into numerous slivers of flesh and bone.
I’ve never seen so much blood, and I have never heard anything as stomach churning as the slices that once made up her body hit the floor with a disgusting “flop.” The only parts of her that remain tied to the board are secured under the ties that weren’t sliced through along with the rest of her body.
The machine comes to a stop, and the 8MM camera ceases to click once Vlad shuts it off. The room is silent, and I watch the girl’s blood trickle towards my toes.
Finally, Dimitri mutters, “Leave us.”
Once we’re alone, his arm loosens around my shoulders before he turns me towards him swiftly and his eyes search mine. For a moment they look fierce, then perplexed as he studies my blood-soaked lips.
Reaching up, he pulls the half mask from my face before he runs a thumb across my cheek. His eyes blaze, and my soul burns to disintegrate for what I just did to that girl. To erase it from my existence. I killed her right along with Dimitri and his men. I bit through her flesh like a hungry, wild animal. I felt her blood on my tongue, and the strings that make up her muscle between my teeth.
I should be sick. I should be vomiting, especially since the coppery taste lingers in each and every taste bud, threatening to remain for good as a harrowing reminder of the day that I killed an innocent.
“I should punish you,” Dimitri rasps, and my mind screams.
I did what he wanted. I murdered. I ended a life. The blood is not only on my hands, but inside of me staining my soul completely. It slowly moves throughout my body and my mind claiming me, threatening every single thing that I thought that I knew about myself.
My life had been a lie and, now, I’m afraid that I am no different. Birthed into a lie, only to become one myself. He is a monster, and I am no different. Our demons do not play nicely; they quarrel. They kick and scream and claw—it will never change anything.
His demons are mine, and mine are his.
Dimitri’s beautifully devilish eyes trace every curve of my face. He’s trying to fit a puzzle piece where it doesn’t belong, yet he’s forcing it anyway, cutting it to fit because he will not have it any other way.
“You are so beautiful,” he whispers, and I close my eyes.
I can’t let him make this okay. He can never make this okay. I will never come back from this. My innocence is a fond memory.
He grasps my jaw and tilts my head up before he kisses me, parting my lips and sweeping the remaining blood from my tongue with his own. It’s an attempt to take it all away; the taste, the horror, the revulsion. Just like our wedding day, only it isn’t vodka from a bottle, it’s what belonged to someone else … their life source.
“Look at me,” he mutters, and my eyes flutter open before landing on the smudged blood across his lips. “I should punish you, but how can I? How can I punish you now?”
A solitary tear rolls down my cheek, but he doesn’t wipe it away. He is a man who invokes tears, not diminishes them.
“You should punish me,” I say, my voice cracks as I speak past the hard, grimy lump in my throat.
He smiles devilishly as he shakes his head. “No, my love. If I punish you, you will think that you’ve done something wrong.” He pauses, pointing towards the gruesome site. “She was weak. You are strong. That is why you are standing here, with me.”
“She couldn’t fight if she tried. That doesn’t make her weak, that makes her a victim of an unfortunate circumstance. She didn’t deserve that,” I snap, narrowing my eyes at him.
He tilts his head and toys with a strand of my bloodstained hair. “Destiny, mouse. Destiny is why I saw you the same night that you would have been in that same situation. Destiny is what put my cock in your sweet pussy. Destiny is what put my child in your womb. I did not know it at first, but I know now, Sofia. I know that you and I will never be apart.”
“I would like to go bathe now,” I whisper, staring down at the blood that surrounds our feet.
He sighs before grabbing my hand and leading me from the room. He doesn’t say a word as he drags me hurriedly along the corridor, but then he stops suddenly and slams my back against the hard concrete wall.
My breathing accelerates as he lifts my skirt up before ripping the black lace panties from my body with one swift pull. Freeing his erection, he grasps my thighs before lifting me and shoving into my pussy. I’m not wet, but it doesn’t take long before I am accepting his length and clawing into his back, all while muttering his name like a love drunk fool.
He makes me want him when I shouldn’t; the devil that he is and all that he has to offer me. His sex. His brutality. He’s the demon that keeps my nightmare alive while I’m grasping for straws trying to survive him.
I walk down the hallway quickly. David is up to something. I overheard him talking to a man by the name of Bogdan, and if I am not mistaken, he is the Pakhan of the Smirnov bratva.
It is normal to converse with other Pakhans for business deals and bribes, but what is unnerving is that he was talking to him about her.
Pushing the door open, I walk into his office without invitation.
“Vadim,” he says, coolly, once I shut the door. “I am very busy.”
I look at him incredulously. “You were speaking to Bogdan? Of the Smirnov bratva, yes?”
David smiles as he pushes away from his desk. “Who I do and do not speak to is no concern of yours.”
“It is my concern when you speak of the woman that I love.”
He scoffs as he looks out the window. “You need to get over that, Vadim. She will never belong to you. She belongs to the bratva.”
“So you plan to take her from Dimitri, only to give her to another? She should have a choice.”
“A choice?” He snaps. “Did Alina have a choice? Being the daughter or sister of the Pakhan means that your right to choose is diminished. You must do what is right for your family. Selfishness will not do.”
I sigh. “I can take care of your daughter. I can take over the Vavilov bratva once Dimitri is dead. Please, do not promise her hand to another.”
He bows his head. “I am afraid it is too late.”
“That’s bullshit!” I exclaim, throwing my hands up. “I will not allow her to marry another.”
His eyes snap to mine. “Is that your choice to make, Vadim?”
My lips part, but no words come out. As wrong as it may be, he’s right. That is how the bratva works. Always has been. I can’t change the history of an organization, but I can take her far away. Away from Russia, the bratva, Dimitri, her father. That was the plan all along … before she slipped from my grasp.
The door opens, and Alexei walks in with Alina. “We are going now.”
David nods. “Yes. Be careful. Stay on alert. Don’t be a fool.”
“Yes, Papa, because I am incapable of making wise decisions. I know,” Alexei retorts before turning swiftly and exiting the office with Alina in tow.
“Sofia is going to despise you for what you’ve done,” I murmur, but David doesn’t bat an eye. He just shrugs as he continues to look out the window.