I love him, I love him so much.
“A penny for your thoughts?” his silky voice derails my train of thought.
“Just that I love you. I love you more than you could ever know.” He reaches across the table and squeezes my hand.
“I love you too. My whole heart.” Tears swell before I even expect them, and I can’t control it. I begin to sob.
“What? What?” he looks like I just kicked him in the gut.
“I, I used to say that to Evan…I love you, my whole heart.” I cannot force down the lump in my throat. The tears continue. He opens his wallet and throws some cash on the table before grabbing my hand. He pulls me to my feet and leads me out of the restaurant. When we get to the car, he simply holds me. He strokes my hair as I cry and cry. I don’t know how much time passes like this but eventually, my eyes begin to dry. When I look up at him, he has tears in his eyes as well. “I’m so sorry, Linc.”
“Don’t you ever apologize to me for how you feel. I love you. I hate to see you in pain.” He pushes a lock of my hair behind my ear and kisses me gently on the lips. “Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”
“Just take me home.”
*
Linc leaves for work at his normal, incredibly early time, and I decide after a few hours, I need to keep occupied. I drive around for a while and settle on a small children’s playground outside of town. I snap photos for a while. I am shocked that no one has called the cops on me yet. A woman with no kids sitting in a park taking pictures of children and parents. A little bit stalkerish if you ask me. I get some great shots and introduce myself to a few of the parents. Giving them my card makes me feel some relief that they don’t think I am completely insane.
When I get home, I decide to hop in the shower. Jessica and Colton are having us over for dinner to celebrate our engagement. Linc should be home soon. I really missed him today. We barely got to talk he was so busy. When I get out of the shower, I rake a comb through my hair. Wow, it is getting so long. I stare at myself in the mirror for a minute and notice that my cheeks are beginning to regain their shape. My eyes still have a trace of dark circles, but I look much better than I have in a very long time. I feel better too. My hazel eyes even look like they have a slight sparkle to them tonight. And it’s all thanks to my fiancé. My amazing, wonderful, Godsend fiancé.
I hear my cell ring and choose to ignore it. I need to hurry up if I am going to be ready in time for dinner. I don’t want to be late. After putting my hair up in a turban type wrap, I apply my makeup. I have never been much for makeup, but I feel like getting dolled up tonight. I look fresh-faced and happy when I am finished. I bend over drying the underside of my hair, being careful not to mess up the job that I’ve done on my face. When I flip my hair up, I nearly jump out of my skin. Linc is standing in the doorway ogling me. I shut off the dryer and grip my chest with my hand.
“Jesus, you scared me!” he has a mischievous grin on his face.
“I was just enjoying the view.” He giggles. Before I know it, he scoops me up into his arms and carries me to the bedroom. My cell phone begins ringing again and I turn it off throwing it to the floor. I don’t want any interruptions when I am with this man.
After our tryst, I try and tame my unruly hair and fix up my makeup. Linc has dressed again and looks as gorgeous as ever. He runs his fingers through his hair and that is all he needs to be perfectly presentable. How nice it would be to be a man and not have to worry about hair products and makeup and simply look good all the time. Well, at least this man does.
“How long do you need to get ready?” he asks looking at his watch.
“Not long I just need to get dressed and we can get going. Did you get the wine?” He looks embarrassed.
“I completely forgot. I couldn’t wait to get home to you,” he grins a please-forgive-me smile.
“It’s, fine we can stop on the way.”
“No, I’ll just run up the street while you finish getting ready, that way we won’t be late.”
“Alright, I’ll try and hurry. I’ll be ready when you get back,” he kisses me on the lips, and we melt into each other. Oh, maybe we can just skip going to Jessica’s and stay home. I swear he can read my mind because he shakes his head no at me.
“I’ll be right back.” I hear the door close as he leaves and not a moment later it opens again. He rushes past the bathroom where I am getting dressed and out of breath says, “Wallet!” He makes me giggle as he jogs past the bathroom on his way out again. I am dressed in a pale pink, long cotton dress. Casual and comfortable. I throw on a light cardigan as well. I decide my hair is too messy at this point and pull it back into a loose braid, draped over my right shoulder. I gather my purse and phone and make my way to the kitchen. I forgot my phone is turned off and I hold the button to fire it up again.
When the screen lights up, I see I have several missed calls and voicemails. I wonder if Jess needs to cancel for some reason. Well, it wouldn’t be the worst thing. Then we can stay home and enjoy one another. I blush at the thought. We have yet to decide whether to live here or at his place. I am fine with either one, as long as I am with him.
I hear the door open again and the pitter-patter of Linc’s feet. “What did you forget this time?”
And when I turn, I am stunned. Crack! The familiar feeling floods my face. He has hit me in the exact same spot he did the first time and I am thrown back into that day. Before I can even think, Sam is on top of me on the kitchen island. My dress is hoisted up to my waist already. My bare feet kicking at his sides. What is going on? How did he get here?
“Linc!” I scream as loud as I can and his hand flies over my mouth. This time from beside him he produces a roll of duct tape and quickly covers my mouth. My screams are stifled, but I continue to try anyway. Lincoln will be back soon. I just need to keep him at bay until then. I am struggling as hard as I can, but I am getting tired. Fuck! I should have taken self-defense classes. Where the fuck is my gun. Damn it! It’s in the bedroom. He now has me completely pinned and I cannot struggle anymore. His breathing slows and I feel the warmth of his words on my ear...
“I have been dreaming of this for so long, Nettie. You smell as delicious as I remember. Even more so, maybe.” He presses his disgusting hard-on into my pelvis and I feel the vomit rise in my throat. His eyes are intense, burning into mine. I squeeze my eyes shut tight and feel the tears roll down my temples. “All too familiar, this little position we find ourselves in, yes?” he runs his nose up the side of my face and I turn my head to the opposite side to avoid his touch. “Oh no you don’t!” he snaps, grabbing my face and forcing it back to where it was. He scratches my cheek with his nail as he does. “You don’t run this show, I do. Now, shall we begin?” The all too familiar smell of booze and cigarettes are on his breath. When did he get out and why didn’t I get a fucking call? Then I remember, my phone was off. Fuck! All those missed calls.
I hear and feel the rip of my underwear and prepare for the torture to come when I hear a click, click. I open my eyes and see a gun pointed to the side of his head.
“Let her go!” I hear a familiar voice and look to my left. Sara!? Oh, thank God. I don’t know why or how, and I don’t care. “This is your last warning before I put a bullet in your skull. “GET THE FUCK OFF OF HER!” she emphasizes each word. Her hands, steady as a rock.
He slowly moves off me but not before pressing himself into me once more so that I can feel that he is still ready. Sara reaches over holding out her hand and helps me to my feet. The gun still aimed at his head but now he is staring straight down the barrel. My gun? She has my gun. How? I rip the tape from my mouth and wince. Shit that hurt. I lick my lips and can taste the blood from where the tape has removed some of my flesh.
“You don’t have the guts to fucking kill me and you know it, Three. You’re just a scared little girl. The easiest I’ve had, to date.” his lips curl up on both sides. This man is the devil himself. He steps closer so that the
gun is pressing against his forehead. Sara looks spooked and I wonder if she does have the guts to do it. I don’t know if I do either. “You don’t have the fucking guts!” His spit visible through the air. He begins to reach for the gun.
“Yeah, well I do asshole!” I hear from the doorway and with a loud boom, Sam clenches his chest. Blood soaks his dingy white t-shirt and he falls to his knees in front of both Sara and me. When I look up, I see her. Detective Montgomery.
“Leigh!” I run to her and throw my arms around her. “Oh, thank God!”
I turn to address Sara this time, “How did you know he was here?”
“I followed him. I knew he was up for parole and I knew he would come for you if he got out. I just knew it. So, I waited outside the prison until he did, and I followed him. I called the detective as soon as he left the bar and I knew he was headed your way.”
“Yeah, I tried calling you a thousand times!” Leigh interrupts.
“Shit, I know, my phone was off,” I hear sirens now in the distance. I am oddly reminded of the movies. Why is it that the cavalry shows up after the intruder is already taken care of? Just then the door bursts open and it’s Lincoln. He runs to me throwing his arms around my waist.
“Oh, God are you alright?” he looks down at the ground, a bloody man lying face down on the floor. He squeezes me tighter this time. With his thumb, he wipes the blood from my lip and kisses me carefully.
“I am fine…now.” I hug him back and we all slowly make our way outside onto the front lawn. It is a swarm of cops, all with guns drawn and Leigh is explaining what has happened. I am wrapped in Lincoln's arms as an ambulance arrives. Why? When they wheel Sam out on a stretcher my eyes meet the detectives. She shakes her head no. No, what? He’s not dead? He’s not going to make it?
Linc kisses me on the forehead and gives me squeezes.
“Don’t worry.” He whispers. “The amount of blood in there. If he is still alive, he won’t make it to the hospital.” I breathe a sigh of relief.
“I love you,” I breathe. “I love you, my whole heart.”
Epilogue
It’s July and this would be the year that Sam would be getting released. My, how life has changed in five years. I am happily married, and I am 12 weeks pregnant. Linc and I found out yesterday that we are being blessed with two babies. This I know, is a sign from God. We are not going to find out the sex of the babies, but I know deep down it is one of each. My parents are over the moon. They have already been spoiling the twins, and they aren’t even here yet. Linc and I will have our own little family soon enough. He has been the most amazing husband. I feel so safe when I am with him. We decided to get a place all our own and I am glad we did. It is neither mine nor his, it is ours and we have made it quite a home. Jess and Colton live nearby with their baby girl, Sophia. We see them often, and I have never seen her happier.
Lincoln’s practice is still going amazingly well, and I have started my own photography studio. People hire me to come to them for the day and basically stalk their family to get some great live action shots. I love doing it and I was finally able to pay my parents back what I owed them. Sitting here on our back patio sipping on my iced tea, I have never been more grateful. Lincoln and I make a weekly outing to visit Evan’s and Madelyn's graves and bring fresh flowers. It has brought us even closer than we were before.
I have even met his ex-wife. He was resistant to the idea at first, but I needed to know what she was like. In fact, I really like her. We won’t make a habit of being friends by any means, but it was nice to put a face with the name. We share the same loss after all. There are no secrets between us, Linc and I, and we like it that way. I love him more than anything, my husband. I love him, my whole heart. Finally, after all this time I believe my parents when they said that everything happens for a reason. They were right. I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I am grateful for everyone in my life. And I live every day with the strength knowing that I can get through anything. I have experienced the lowest of lows and risen to experience the highest of highs. Life can only get better from here, right?
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