by Jeannie Lin
“That was brilliant what you did this morning.” Wei-wei glowed with admiration. “You put that arrogant official in his place so soundly. I’ve always wanted to put someone like that in his place.” A wistful look crossed her face.
“It’s not as simple as that. A woman can’t insult a man of rank in public without paying a price.” Every moment, Mingyu wondered about the consequences to her actions. How would the inspector retaliate now that she’d wounded his pride? She had to be prepared for anything. “Remember when I said that goodwill was currency in this city? I don’t have much of it, but what little I’ve collected, I used it all.”
“Who was that man, Mingyu?”
She had forgotten that Yue-ying knew little of what happened in the Three Lanes now. “Someone who wanted to own me and imprison me in his garden like a lonely orchid.”
“Insufferable,” Wei-wei agreed.
Yue-ying looked stricken. Her hand flew to her mouth in anguish.
“I don’t think your home is a trap,” Mingyu amended. “Lord Bai adores you and it’s peaceful here. I’m happy for you. Truly.”
Her sister shook her head. Her complexion had drained of color, making the red stain on her face appear more dramatic.
“Little Sister?”
“It’s not that.” Yue-ying swallowed forcibly and took a breath. “I think I might be with child.”
Mingyu nearly stabbed the needle into her thumb. “Oh, dear heaven—”
A tiny smile formed on her sister’s lips. Gradually the smile grew until her whole face lit up. “I know I’m with child. You’re the first person I’ve told.”
“How do you feel?”
“Miserable.”
Together they burst out laughing. Mingyu threw her arms around Yue-ying. “I was so worried—”
She didn’t finish the thought. This wasn’t about her fears and troubles anymore. Mingyu blinked back tears of joy as they embraced.
“Mother will be so happy,” Wei-wei chimed in. Then she grew serious. “But shouldn’t you be lying down if you’re pregnant?”
That was met with another round of laughter and Mingyu felt for the first time in a long time that this was a new beginning. Despite all the unexpected obstacles and tragedies, life would continue.
* * *
SHE WAITED FOR Kaifeng that night, lying awake and listening to the silent house around her. It was late when he finally returned and the household had fallen asleep long ago. Still, Mingyu made an extra effort to remain quiet as she went to Kaifeng’s room.
He became aware of her presence the moment she slipped through the door. Kaifeng swung around with lantern in hand, but relaxed when he saw her. Without a word, she went to him to remove his outer robe, always mindful of his injury. She stripped down to her lightest layer as well and found her way into his arms.
“Yue-ying is with child,” she whispered to him, nestling her head onto his shoulder as they sat on the bed.
His fingers stroked gently over her hair. “This is good news.”
“I’m so happy for her.”
“You didn’t need to worry, after all.”
“I didn’t,” she agreed. “You were right.”
They fit so perfectly like this. Why did they have to make everything else so complicated?
The flicker of the lantern cast hazy shadows over the wall. Mingyu listened to the steady rhythm of Kaifeng’s heartbeat while his fingers followed the curve of her ear. It was a soothing touch. Affectionate more than passionate.
“Lord Bai came home earlier,” she went on. “He said that you found Deng.”
“Deng passed away long before we arrived. The matter is in the hands of the Palace Bureau.”
“It’s done, then.”
Kaifeng stiffened beside her. “Yes, it’s done.”
There was more to the story, but Mingyu didn’t inquire any further. Maybe she didn’t want to ever know.
She wrapped her arms around him and pressed herself close. “I’m glad.”
“You’re safe now. You’re no longer wanted for Deng’s murder.”
He said no more. His hand settled against her lower back to anchor her to him and for a long time, they just were. She wished more than anything that it could remain that way.
“Mingyu.” His fingers ran along her spine, massaging gently. “What is it you wanted to speak about?”
“We’re not completely safe.” She tried to slow her breathing and soften into his embrace, but failed. “Madame Sun is asking for me. We can’t hide here forever.”
“You spoke once of escaping the city,” he reminded her.
“But you refused to come.”
“Things have changed.”
Her throat went dry. She had never struggled so hard to find words before. “Are you...are you saying you would leave with me?”
“Are you willing to go?” Kaifeng asked.
They danced around one another, refusing to touch. She thought of Yue-ying, this vast city that had become their home, and how hard she had fought to establish her position within it.
“If I stay here, I’ll remain a slave,” she said.
“Yes.”
But to be free she would have to give up everything.
“I could never return,” she continued, her voice sounding faint and hollow in the darkness. “If I did, Madame would claim me.”
“The only way for us to be together is to go.”
“I know.” She hid her face against his neck.
“But Yue-ying will need you when her child is born. And the only way you can be here for her is at The Lotus Palace. There Madame Sun offers you security in exchange for your obedience.”
With each argument Kaifeng laid out, she could hear his tone hardening.
“What are trying to do?” she demanded. “Convince me not to go with you?”
“I’m saying all the things you’re refusing to say out loud.”
Heat rose up her neck. “I don’t need you to speak on my behalf.”
She shoved at his chest, but Kaifeng held on to her. “Then tell me, Mingyu. Will you leave Changan? Will you go with me?”
Mingyu stopped struggling. Even though she remained completely still, her heart pounded away. Her head filled with the sound of her own fear.
To be free she would have to give up everything.
“I can’t,” she choked out.
Kaifeng let go of her, his arm slipping away from her shoulder.
“I can’t go yet.” She tried to amend her answer, but it was too late.
“This has always been a passing moment between us, hasn’t it? It has meant nothing to you.”
“It has meant everything to me.”
She hated how calm he sounded and how desperate she sounded. As if all the pieces fit together logically in his head while her heart was in pieces. Mingyu was still curled against his side, but they might as well have been on opposite sides of a canyon.
“Will you stay, then?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper.
“I can’t.”
His answer was an eerie echo of her own.
“For a little while,” she pleaded. “Until I figure out how to get Madame Sun to release me.”
“What would we do? Will you stay at the Lotus Palace, entertaining wealthy patrons, and then steal away to my bed when the mood strikes?”
“You have a way of making everything sound vulgar.” But it didn’t sound like the worst thing in the world. In those stolen moments, they could still have each other. It was more than she had ever had before.
“Mingyu, I can’t continue the way things were.” This time he did pull away from her. Coldness poured over her the moment he left.
“I can’t wait for life to happen to me an
y longer. I was dismissed as constable, but even if I hadn’t been, something happened today. I sat beside a man I hardly knew while he waited to die. At the moment, I was his son, his nephew, his only friend in the world. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a witness to the lives of others.”
“You’re getting philosophical,” she said impatiently. “Does that even mean anything?”
He kissed her then. Leaned in, swept her up in his arms and kissed her. Holding back nothing so she knew he meant it.
“It means I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything,” he said with a fierceness that shook her, but he cut her off when she tried to reply. “It also means I can’t stay here because of it. Your memory would always haunt me. I would want to wallow in that pain rather than seek happiness.”
She was on the verge of tears. “But will you be any happier apart?”
“You’re accustomed to men despairing for your attentions, Mingyu. You think such torture is a sign of devotion.”
“That’s not true.”
It wasn’t true, was it?
“Every time you’ve come to me, you’ve been driven by unhappiness, Mingyu.” He cradled her face in his hands so tenderly that she ached inside. “That isn’t what I want from you.”
“Kaifeng.” His name came out as a sob. “It doesn’t have to be that way.”
“You’re free of General Deng. You’re free of Xi Lun. You fought him and you’ve won. So what need do you have of me any longer?”
“I do need you. Why do you have to make this so difficult?”
“Because you’re lying to yourself now, Mingyu, as well as to me.”
His tone was gentle, but the sentiment was harsh. As harsh as anyone had ever been to her. Mingyu felt the wall building around her and coldness seeping into her veins. “You don’t know what you’re speaking of. All my life I’ve been plotting my freedom—establishing a name for myself so I’d be more than some lowly song girl, hiding away money.”
“Which you used to redeem your sister rather than yourself.”
“It wasn’t possible to redeem my bond. The price is—”
“Too high,” Kaifeng interrupted. “I know. You’re too valuable, Mingyu. Your time is precious, your companionship is priceless. Madame Sun will never let you go.”
“It’s all true,” she said weakly. “That’s why I had to run away.”
At first Mingyu had been drawn to Kaifeng because she didn’t need to be artful and charming around him. She had thought him undemanding, but now he demanded everything from her. He was insisting on the truth.
“You sit in gardens and dream of forests,” he murmured, stroking her hair. “But this is where you want to be. In Changan. At the Lotus Palace, admired and worshipped.”
Her hands twisted into the front of his tunic, pressing against his chest and searching for the beat of his heart inside it. “This is where I want to be,” she insisted, forcing back tears. “I’ll go with you now. Today.”
Kaifeng shook his head. Her answer had come too late. “You may need me now, but before long you’ll need someone else just the same.”
Mingyu wanted to tell him he was wrong. She had never felt this way for anyone, but he was resolved. There would be no convincing him.
“You’re not ready to leave this city,” he told her. “And I cannot stay.”
She always complicated things, but everything was so clear to Wu Kaifeng. He stripped away all the layers of nuance and illusion until there was nothing left but the truth and then it became impossible to deny.
Mingyu stared at the hard line of his jaw before her. She planted a kiss against it, too intimidated to touch his lips just yet. When he permitted the touch, she kissed him again, lightly, closer to his chin. Then his throat. Her hands traveled down to his waist.
His voice came from above her, sounding so close yet so far away. “This won’t change things.”
“I know.”
But she still wanted him. She wanted him even more because it would be the only chance they had. She concentrated on his belt so she wouldn’t have to look at his face. If she looked at him, she would fall apart.
Once the clasps were undone, she opened his robe and drew it down his shoulders, freeing his arms. The bruises on him appeared even worse now, darker and angrier. The marks of an unforgiving world. She pressed her lips to his battered flesh in a light caress that was made of breath and warmth. She heard a long sigh come from him. His hand rested against her hair.
She finally looked up at him. “Can we do this without hurting you?”
There was a half-smile on his lips. “The pain would be worth it.”
He helped her remove his clothes as well as hers. Then she paused to look at him, at all of him in the dim light.
Kaifeng was right. It was difficult to look at someone you wanted so badly. It hurt inside. She went to him, climbing into his lap as his arms folded around her. She had thought they would have to be delicate, but Kaifeng dragged her against him as he bent his head to her breast.
He tasted her first, the tip of his tongue flicking over her nipple in a lazy, luxurious circle that made her toes curl and her skin flush. Mingyu combed her fingers through his hair, pulling his top knot loose. Her sigh shuddered through every part of her, releasing her to him.
“Kaifeng,” she whispered his name desperately.
Without warning, the gentleness was gone. He took her nipple into his mouth and suckled, drawing out her pleasure in a sharp, relentless pull. Her back arched against her will, so forceful that it hurt, but the pleasure was still so much greater. He repeated the same attentions on her other breast and she braced her hands against his shoulders, her hands digging deep, as she writhed with ecstasy. Kaifeng was doing this to her so she would never forget, she was sure of it.
When he finally released her she bent to kiss his mouth, to slip her tongue against his. At the same time, his hand found her sex and he parted her, stroking her with his longest finger until she moaned. Her legs straddled his hips and Kaifeng guided her down to him with his hand at her back, the other one opening her to his rigid flesh.
Mingyu reached down to position him against her before sinking down fully. Her entire body shuddered around him as his organ penetrated her. The feeling was indescribable and as her vision blurred she could see Kaifeng watching her, his eyes black with desire, but as sharp as ever.
He was the one claiming her this time. There was no doubt of it as his hands gripped her hips, lifting her and then pulling her onto him, driving her closer to climax. Watching her the entire time.
She tried to hold on to his gaze for as long as she could, but the sensations overwhelmed her. She had to close her eyes to block out everything but the feel of him taking her.
“Give in.” His voice was rough and thick with desire as he spoke against her ear, filling her with the sound of him as well as with his flesh. “Just this once, surrender.”
And she did surrender. Her knees weakened as she shuddered uncontrollably around him. Kaifeng held her throughout, kissing her mouth, taking every last breath and gasp that came from her as his own release came upon him.
Afterward, Mingyu sank her head onto his shoulder, not wanting to let go. His skin was damp, as was hers. She felt as if they had run a hundred li together. Perhaps they had, but it was only in circles.
She didn’t realize she had drifted. She woke once as Kaifeng was lowering her onto the bed beside him. He kissed her forehead and murmured something to her before she fell asleep again.
Mingyu slept the rest of the night, half waking only once to feel Kaifeng’s arms around her. He pulled her closer, tucking her head beneath his chin. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat soothed her.
When she woke the next morning, they were at opposite ends of the bed. Light streamed in through the paper panes o
f the window and the thoughts drifted to her one by one: it was morning, Kaifeng lay disrobed and asleep beside her, and she was in her sister’s house.
Mingyu shot up, fully awake. She was in her sister’s house! Or, more significantly, she was in the house of the well-mannered and high-born family that Yue-ying had married into.
She was a guest and this was scandalous. The scandal she didn’t fear as much as being perceived as disrespectful.
Scurrying out of bed, Mingyu hunted down her clothes and put them on as quickly as she could. The bodice presented some difficulty, but once that was on, the layers of her robe draped easily over her. Her sash was nowhere to be seen. She turned around to search for it in the bed and found Kaifeng awake and watching her.
Without a word, he reached beneath his arm and pulled out a length of blue silk that seemed to wind on forever. He handed her the sash and kept his eyes on her while she wrapped it around her waist. It was the same intent look he’d given her while they made love. Her face heated.
“I’ll think of you always, Mingyu.”
Her heart must have stopped in her chest.
“Why are you saying farewell? I’m only returning to my room,” she teased, then hated herself for hiding like that. His words had wounded her and she was desperately trying to mask the pain.
“This will be an eventful day. I wanted to be certain I didn’t forget to tell you.”
After her rush to dress, Mingyu slowed her movements, waiting for Kaifeng to tell her he had reconsidered. Instead, he said nothing.
“When will you go?” she asked, her stomach sinking as she gave in to the inevitable.
“There is nothing keeping me here.”
She thought that a particularly cruel phrase. Kaifeng still hadn’t learned to take care with his words.
“I’m not head constable any longer,” he continued. “Li Yen will need to settle the final details of this case, but I have no further duties here.”
“Will you come back?” What Mingyu meant to ask was whether she’d see him again. It was too painful to think that these moments were their last.