by Jason Lenov
I don't think I'd ever felt so confused about my own feelings before. Hearing her say the words "animal instinct" sent the most pleasurable shudder of lust through me. The thought that she was saying it about Viktor with a "K's" thick cock was like a razor on the end of that lust, cutting me inside.
"Sure," I managed but not before swallowing loudly. "As long as you just think about it. Whatever. I don't mind."
This was not the answer she had wanted. This was not the capitulation she required. I could have played along and given her what she needed. I could have said that it did bother me a little bit and I could have repeated at how sorry I was for staring at Shanice that long. Then I could have gone back on what I'd said about animal instinct, told her we were humans and that we could be above all that, if we only tried.
But I didn't. I didn't because somewhere inside my mind a rabbit hole had opened. Maybe those two words "animal instinct" had turned the key in the lock. Or maybe it was the mention of Viktor with a "K's" fat cock.
A hot and molten feeling was gushing from that hole and filling my whole body and now that I'd tried it, now that all of my conflicted emotions about her thinking about cheating, about her staring at another man's cock, swirled together, hardening inside me into a rigid and swollen column of lust.
Her expression changed again. The smile was still there but now her eyes weren't quite as wide. She looked calmer, like something about what I'd said had given her more control. She stared at me just as intently as she had been, then stepped up close.
"So you're saying that I'm allowed to follow my animal instinct, yes?" She was standing so close to me when she said it that I could feel her breath on my lips. When she asked it, it wasn't meant to be innocent or funny. She asked it in a way that was meant to provoke, to push me somewhere she wanted me to be.
It was intense and erotic and exciting. It felt like she was taking control the same way she'd done in bed those few times.
"I mean, come on Val, I only said you could think about it, right? I didn't mean anything else by it."
"Hmmm..." she mused. Then she pushed past me and began to climb the stairs up to the loft.
I had no idea what was happening, where this was headed or why we were even talking about it for so long but it was making my whole body buzz in a way I'd never felt before. I followed her up the stairs, almost tripping as I tried to go up.
She peeled off the pyjamas she'd put on. She did that when she was mad. To indicate that there would be no action that night. She only ever took them off once she was already under the covers. This time was different.
This time, she bent over a little, letting her ass jut out to just where she knew I liked it. She pushed her saggy, flannel bottoms down revealing the creamy curves of her thighs. Underneath she had only a thong and I stared as more and more of her legs were revealed until I could see them all.
Then, still facing the other way so that I had a perfect view of her shapely ass, she began to unbutton the blouse she was wearing.
I'd started getting hard in the bathroom downstairs. I'd had to squeeze my ass a few times to keep myself from showing my erection. This was not helping and I sincerely hoped she meant to follow through on this tease or it was going to be a long night. There was no computer or internet here which just made it worse. I guess part of why we hadn't been getting it on back home was that it was just so easy to fall into gaming. No questions. No complications. No foreplay. No mess. Now that it was just me and her I felt that feeling, the one I'd felt when we'd first met and fallen in love, rear it's ugly head. I felt like I needed her again.
When her shirt fell off, I raked my gaze up and down her back and then watched her peel the covers off the bed before crawling in.
I undressed quickly, leaving my underwear on but hoping that it would come off eventually and crawled onto the bed to lie down beside her. When I reached out and touched her she didn't move. I looked down to see that her hand was pressed between her legs, moving slowly between her thighs like she was touching herself.
"Valerya?" I asked, shocked by what I was seeing. She was obviously masturbating right in front of me.
"Yes?" she asked without turning around.
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing. Just giving in to my animal instinct. That's okay, yes?"
The question made me shudder. Was she really doing what it looked like she was doing? Was she really touching herself, giving herself pleasure while thinking about the strong and commanding Viktor who had saved her life?
"Do you want to..." I began, my cock hard and my heart in my throat. I knew she was playing me but had this game gone too far?
"Mmmm..." she purred, then added, "do I want to what?"
I stared at her, her arm moving slightly from what she was doing to herself. She was being such a tease and I knew it was only to annoy me, to get me to succumb and tell her I was sorry and take back what I had said.
And a part of me wanted to do that. A part of me wanted to tell her how sorry I was and that I would never do it again and that I had been wrong to look at another woman, animal instincts or not. But there was something so mesmerizing, so incredibly paralyzing about watching her touch herself, watching herself leading her body to pleasure while I imagined she was thinking about another man, that made me pause.
"What's the matter, Robbie?" she asked. I couldn't see her coy smile but I heard it in her voice.
"What...what are you thinking about?" I whispered.
I heard her smirk and the sound cut like a knife. Suddenly, she was not mine anymore. All of this that I'd done, the dacha, the dinner, everything had been thrown out the window and she was acting only out of her own self-interest. To make me humble. To make me beg.
"I'm just thinking about our friend Viktor's thick cock. Why?"
Valerya had always tried to use sex as leverage in our relationship. It had worked at the beginning, when I was still enamoured and infatuated with her and I still needed the inside of her like a hungry man needs bread. But this? This was completely different. She wasn't just using sex to try and get what she wanted now. She was using it to make me feel guilty and furious and jealous all at the same time.
And it was hot as all fucking hell.
"Val, come on..." I muttered. A half-hearted attempt at getting her to stop what she was doing. That wasn't what I really wanted, though. Because it was thrilling to think that she actually was thinking of Porchenko's member. It was thrilling to think that she was using what I'd said about animal instinct against me, making me jealous and turned on at the same time. It was thrilling to think that I was falling for it bit by bit, relinquishing control of the situation and letting her take the reins.
Maybe I should have told her to stop. Maybe I should have pulled her hand out from between her legs and talked to her honestly right then and there. But the truth was that I was way too hot and bothered by what she was doing to do anything like that. I wanted more. I wanted to find out more about this Valerya who could use me and blackmail me into submission with just the insinuation that she was thinking about another man.
"Are you really thinking about him?" I whispered, not knowing what it was I really wanted to hear.
She rolled over and took her hand out from between her legs and looked me squarely in the eye. "Why, Robbie? Are you jealous? Is that an animal instinct too?"
Her hand felt off her stomach and onto the bed, but on the way down grazed against my rigid cock. It only registered on her face after a moment, the fact that she'd just touched my hard on after she'd been trying to make me jealous. She looked down, as if to make sure it was true.
A part of me wanted to roll over, or pretend like I had to go to the bathroom. I don't know what kept me there, really. I'd been thinking about it for so long, going over it and over it in my mind, I guess in some way I wanted her to know. I wanted her to find out.
"Robbie?" She looked confused and all the malice and jealousy had vanished from her eyes. She just looked really puz
zled.
"What?"
"What do you mean what? This!" She wrapped her fingers around my cock and squeezed.
I grunted but didn't pull away.
"So? What about it? You're hot. I told you, I wanted to..."
"Yeah, but Robbie come on! You're not jealous that your wife was just touching herself thinking about another man?"
This was it. This was the question that I'd been trying to figure out on my own, ever since I'd heard her talking on the phone about it. I didn't feel like I was any closer to figuring it out. What I did know is that every time I thought about it, every time I thought about her with someone else or saw her in a situation like that, some kind of zombie trance took hold of me and I would start to wonder "what if?"
"Yeah, I know."
She scrunched her nose up for a moment as she considered my reply. Enlightenment spread across her face. Suddenly she was looking at me with different eyes.
"You know what?"
"I know you were trying to make me jealous."
"And? Are you?"
"Kind of."
"Only kind of?"
"I mean, I guess a lot but..."
"But what?"
What the hell would my wife think of me if I told her that the thought of her with another man turned me on like nothing else? Everything about that was supposed to be wrong, wasn't it? Even at an evolutionary level I was a freak for wanting something like that. I should be worried about her cheating, not turned on by it. I should be the only one who gets to put my seed in her.
That thought sent another unexpected thrill rushing through me. That another man would leave his seed inside her? That he'd fuck his sperm into her while I sat and watched, then lay next to her while it did its job? How had I never thought about this? It was incredibly demented and incredibly erotic at the same time.
And suddenly it was too much. It felt like telling her any of this was going too deep. Like she was going too deep into my mind.
"Fuck, I don't know. I can't do this..." I tried to roll over and get up.
"No Robbie, wait." She caught me by the shoulder and wouldn't let go. "Come on. Please? I want to know."
Chapter 8
It felt good, hearing that. It felt good that she wanted to know, that she wanted to be that close to me, even if what I was thinking was weird. I already felt closer to her, just because she'd asked. It was still hard being honest.
"Want to know what?"
She shuffled closer towards me. It felt like the balance of power had shifted again. Now that I had something she wanted, it was her turn to chase. "I want to know what you were going to say. About jealousy?"
I took a deep breath and rolled back to face her. She was looking at me with big, honest eyes. It felt like standing on the edge of a cliff. I knew that once I told her, if I told her, there was no going back. Someone else would know about this. Even if it was my wife, keeper of all my other secrets, someone else would know that the thought of my wife with another man really turned me on.
"You can't tell anyone."
"What? Of course not."
"You can't think I'm a freak."
She narrowed her eyes and smiled. "I already think that."
It made me chuckle and lightened the mood. I wanted this. Deep inside me I wanted to share this with her. I knew I was letting my cock do my thinking for me but I didn't care.
"Okay. The thing is...thinking about you with someone else, like with another guy? Is really fucking hot."
I watched her eyes dance back and forth from mine, to my mouth, to the muscles in my cheeks. She was studying me, trying to put all the little cues together and figure out if this was really real.
All I wanted to know was how she felt about it. It was hard enough just coming out and saying it, not knowing what she thought of me now was killer.
"So what am I? More of a freak now?" I tried to make it sound light but it came out awkward and dark. Seeing her smile was a relief but why the hell wasn't she saying anything?
She shuffled closer to me and ran a finger down my cheek. "Yes. You're my freak." She let that linger over us for a while and then that same finger slid down my chin, then my neck, down my chest and abs until she ran it along the line of my still stiff cock.
It was good news, I guess. I was getting laid. Something about it felt strange, though. For the first time, probably in my life, I would have preferred to talk.
"So when I told you that I was thinking of our friend Viktor, you thought about me with him?" she whispered, her finger gliding up and down my rigid shaft.
I nodded, staring into her eyes.
I felt her hook her fingers into my underwear and pull them down. I felt my cock spring out. I felt the heat of her palm just above it. "Were you thinking about me touching him? Like this?"
The image of Valerya wrapping her fingers around his massive cock flashed in my mind at the same time that I felt them wrapping around mine.
A violent, jealous shudder shook through my body at the thought. It settled somewhere above my balls, sending blood pulsing to my member and making me stiffen even more in Valerya's hand.
Something changed in her expression at that moment, something profound. There was something eager and inquisitive in her eyes now, like she'd just stumbled on a super power that had been hidden from her until just then.
It was terrifying, the thought that I'd been the one to hand her that power, but there was no turning back.
Holding me tight, I felt her start to stroke me up and down. There was an urgency to her touch that hadn't been there before. Like she wanted to take her new super-power out for a test drive.
"When you think about me and Viktor, Robbie, what does Viktor do?"
It was another edge, another cliff that led to yet another abyss. Did I dare jump off? Did I dare talk to her about the things I'd thought about? About them together and him pressing between her legs?
I looked into her eyes. There was so much wonder there, a deep curiosity that only I could fulfill. I had changed in her eyes as an object of desire. I had something she wanted and only I could give it to her.
"I think of him fucking you."
Her eyes opened even wider when I said it. Suddenly she was scrambling onto me, swinging a leg over me and positioning herself above my cock. She bent over, her soft breasts pressing against my chest as she whispered, "Tell me more."
My cock ached. She was still holding me. A drip of her juice landed on the head of my cock. My hips jutted up, my body desperate to fill her wet cunt. She raised herself on her haunches, not letting me in.
"I want to hear more."
More? How could I tell her more? I was terrible enough at dirty talk, how could I start describing to my wife what I'd imagined another man doing to her? I don't know where the words came from, but they did. I closed my eyes and thought of the image I'd conjured up.
"You're on your back."
"Yes," she whispered.
"You're legs are pressed together but you're naked."
"Yes?"
"He starts..."
"Fuck Robbie, yes..." I felt the first wet heat of her pussy on my cock as she pressed her soaked lips against me, urging me on.
"Fuck...he starts crawling onto the bed."
"Yes,"
"He...pries you open."
"Oh fuck yes!"
My eyes popped open as I felt her lower herself onto me. My head slipped into her tight wetness and my hands came up to grab her ass. I wanted to ram myself into her, plunge my cock as deeply into her as I could. Again, she raised herself as I tried, not letting me in.
"Come on Robbie. Tell me more."
"His cock is hard," I whispered, breathless. "He pushes your legs apart." I felt her sink lower, letting more of me into her tight, wet walls. "He pins your hands behind your head."
She closed her eyes, groaned and threw her head back.
It was the moment of inattention I needed. "Then he stuffs his fat cock into your pussy and makes you scream
." Thrusting up, I drove myself inside her cunt.
I felt her tighten around me as I rammed my cock into her as deep as I could go. She grabbed her tits, let them slip through her fingers until she found her hard nipples. Then she squeezed.
With both hands on the firm roundness of her ass, I started fucking up into her, bouncing her on top of me. Cum pooled from my balls as I felt her hot wetness dripping down my shaft and onto my balls.
"Oh please Robbie," she mewled, "keep talking!"
"He fucks you strong and hard and you're crying because he's so big," I grunted through clenched teeth.
Her pussy clenched around me again and she whimpered.
"You come all over him. Your pussy juice is all over his cock. He's sawing into you."
"Yes!" she screamed. "Fuck! Yes!"
I felt her hot pussy tighten again and I knew she was about to come. My cock hardened inside her. I felt the rush of seed pulse through it, ready to erupt.
"Oh fuck," I groaned. Right before my orgasm, I managed to get out, "he fucks you full of his cum!"
Our orgasms both exploded at the same time. I watched her shake and writhe on top of me. My vision narrowed. I felt only pleasure. I felt the first hot gush of my seed pump deep into her womb. I cried out. She screamed as we fucked.
Even after she collapsed on top of me my hips were still rutting into her. Then the tiredness came and I let her lie on top of me, sweaty and satisfied, until I fell out of her and she rolled off.
We lay in silence for a while, me staring up at the ceiling, until I heard her lips crack into a smile. I turned to look into her eyes.
"Wow," she said, staring at me with a grin.
I laughed, because that's what I do usually when it feels like things are weird. We let some more silence pass.
"When did this start?" she whispered.
I shrugged. "I...I heard you talking to Nina one time."
She furrowed her brow, trying to think back. "Which time?"
"It doesn't matter. It was just a joke anyways and it doesn't matter. But it really got me riled up."
"Long ago?"
"Not too long."