by Prince, DD
Everyone except me howled with laughter. Sarah fell off her chair this time and Lisa fell, too, trying to help Sarah up. Dario was sitting on the counter but doubled over holding his gut, and Luc piped up, “I think I just peed a little.” The fits of laughter roared louder.
Mr. Ferrano walked over to the coffee maker and stared at it, then looked down at Sarah who was still on the floor tangled up with Lisa, “Guess I’ll get myself a coffee. Would you like a coffee, Sarah?” his eyebrows perked up at her. He didn’t look like those old guys but math said he had to have about 25 years on Lisa!
“Everyone wants coffee! Except Luciana. You can make her a hot chocolate.” Sarah beamed at him.
“What’s up, Pop?’ Dario said.
“I’ll make the espresso and then we’ll chat for a minute, son. I just came to pick up Lisa, mostly, and to check on Athena. You okay?” He looked at me and his face was kind, seemed genuine, he seemed different from how he was when I met him that first day. My thoughts flickered to him and my Mother. I nodded, chewing my cheek.
“Good,” he said, “When that boy gets home you do me a favor, okay?”
“What’s that?” I ask.
“You give his right eye a pop for me too, ah? I think it needs to match!” he punched the air with a mean hook. Everyone started to laugh, except me again. I didn’t know what the heck to make of this bunch and their quirky sense of humor. Everyone clearly thinks it’s pretty awesome that I gave Tommy a black eye. Everyone here wants me to feel welcome, too, it seems. Now I understand what Tommy meant by the whole “Ferrano family experience” comment. I can’t imagine how nuts it is with all the kids and the spouses together with all these guys during something celebratory rather than a stressful situation like this!
Mr. Ferrano brewed espresso for everyone except me and Luc. He made her a hot chocolate with whipped cream on it and then he made me a cappuccino with a heart pattern on it and smiled at me as he put the cup down. It looked like it came from a fancy café.
“Thank you, Mr. Ferrano,” I said.
“Call me Pop.” He winked. He signaled Dario to follow him into the other room. I looked down at the cup and got lost in thought. I noticed the room was quiet and I looked up from the heart shaped foam in my cup to see all eyes on me. I felt uncomfortable for a beat and then the girls all started chatting again and suddenly Luc grabbed my hand and placed it on her belly and I felt her baby kicking.
“This better be the boy!” she said, “I have twin girls in the terrible two’s and my first wish is there’s just one in here.” She pointed to her big round belly, “My second wish is that it be a boy so that I can say I’ve done my wifely duty and then the doctor can tie my tubes.”
Tessa piped up, “I guarantee it’s another girl. I can feel it.”
“Oh shut up!” Luc answered and pretended to smack at her sister, “If this is another girl, I’ll do this one more time, just one. If it’s another girl then I’m done, heirs or no heirs!”
All three of them look alike, a bit like Tommy but blonde and a little different. They must take after their mother a bit because I can see that Tommy definitely takes after his father. Lisa is a pretty girl and a little older than me but I can see how she’s attracted to him. He’s handsome and holds his age well. She fits with these girls perfectly. They seem like they’re all best friends. I idly hope that I can one day feel carefree again. Right now that feels a little far from possible.
An hour later I was yawning and Tessa took it as a cue to get everyone out. Dario and Mr. Ferrano were still somewhere else in the house. Tessa told them I needed my rest and that it was after 12:00. Sarah went off to find the guys.
A few minutes later they came back in and Mr. Ferrano hugged each girl, including Sarah and then stood in front of me in the kitchen chair and held his arms open. It was weird and uncomfortable but I stood and let him embrace me. I’m sure I looked shell shocked. Tessa hugged me and told me that in a few weeks they were having a baby shower for Luc and that she’ll get me the details. Lisa hugged me and told me that dinner is always at their house on Sundays and that we’re expected every week. Luc hugged me and told me it was nice to meet me and said she’d get my digits from Tommy and text me about getting together in a few days after I’m rested. They all marched out of the place in single file and that left me, Sarah, and Dario in the kitchen.
I headed to the doorway, “I think I’m going to head to bed,” I said and Dario nodded at me.
“I’ll be close by if you need anything.”
“Thank you,” I said, then added, “Goodnight, Sarah.”
She smiled at me, “Sleep well, Chiquita. Welcome home.”
I’m sure I frowned at her in response. Home?
** ** **
I fell asleep on the bed without even changing my clothes but I only slept an hour or two and then I was wide awake. I got a drink of whiskey from the bar thinking it might settle my nerves and make me sleepy but it did just what it did last time --- gross me out and burn my throat. I washed up for bed and changed into a pair of pajamas. I stared at the ceiling for what felt like hours, pondering my situation, the recent course of events, my life in general. When I finally closed my eyes again I knew one thing for sure, I was a survivor and determined to survive all of this.
I was kidnapped and men got shot at and died. I didn’t know if I’d ever get out of that situation. Hah. My kidnapper saved me from other kidnappers. But he got me out and he took care of me that night the way I could only imagine in my wildest fantasies that a knight in shining armor would. I decided that if I’m stuck here paying a debt for someone else and if I have no choice in the matter, I’m at least going to try to find a way to be happy. Last night I didn’t know if I was going to make it out of that basement in Mexico, and then I didn’t know what’d happen to me when that driver told me I’d been sold, but now I was back near home, safe and warm, and I’d seen potential in Tommy Ferrano. I decided that I didn’t want to just let life flutter away because I’m a victim of a parent’s mistake.
Tommy Ferrano has issues, it’s obvious. He’s dominating and angry and he can be cruel. He wasn’t nice to me the first week. He played some seriously messed up head games and he violated me repeatedly. He’s about to be promoted to be the head of a crime family --- the same crime family that threatened my father and that took me prisoner.
But he also has shown that he has potential. I like his family and they seem close. I could see myself becoming good friends with the girls and Dario doesn’t scare me so much anymore. He’d been really nice to me today. Maybe I’m just a naïve 19 year old girl but Tommy seems to care about me and maybe I can nurture that potential so that with me he’s always the guy from the beach, the guy who rescued me. Maybe in time I can forgive him for what he’s done, overlook who he is. Maybe I can stay on his good side, make him always be more of the ice cream parlor guy when he’s with me.
Yeah, and maybe I’m an idiot. I don’t know how dark it’ll get. I don’t know what he’s doing down there. I only know that the threats he made in the car just before I was kidnapped scared me beyond any fear I’d ever had in my whole life. I fell back to sleep feeling very conflicted.
I jolted awake again before night was over, but this time it was because I’d had a horrible nightmare. I was back in the pink canopy bed and the man forcing me to give him the blowjob was Tommy. He’d been mean and horrible and then I got rescued by my dad but Dad didn’t shoot him; Tommy just said, ‘Take her, I’m done with her,’ then my Dad shot me and told me that I was too much trouble, that I’d weighed him down after Mom died and that’s why he’d tried to get rid of me but after several unsuccessful attempts he was going to get rid of me for good.
When I woke it was 4:am. Would this night ever end? I got up to get a drink and the bar fridge had no water in it so I put on a robe and decided to head to the kitchen. When I got to the bottom of the stairs I heard a loud voice in the kitchen. I stopped on the bottom step. I heard Dario’s voice,
>
“We need to just wait. No damn it! Don’t! Just circle and keep coming back.”
I stepped off the stairs and walked into the kitchen. He looked up at me and then said, “Call me in 30 minutes with an update. Or sooner if there’s any change.” He ended the call, “You alright?”
I nodded, “I’m just thirsty.” I got a bottle of water from the fridge, “Is Tommy okay?”
Dario waved his hand at me, “Of course,” but I could see the stress on his face.
“I’m going to try to go back to sleep,” I said.
He nodded, not looking me in the eye.
** ** **
Surprisingly, I did fall back asleep but was awake around 9:15. I got up and took a shower and when I came back into the bedroom just in a towel I froze because I noticed Dario was asleep on the couch here in this room. He was asleep in a t-shirt and track pants, the first time I’d seen him not in a suit. He was quite built, a lot like Tommy. I didn’t let my eyes linger on him for long, not wanting to look like a creep watching him while he slept. Clearly he took his job of protecting me seriously if he was sleeping here instead of one of the bazillion guest rooms.
I rushed into the closet to find some clothes and got dressed in there. When I came out, he wasn’t on the couch any longer. I went downstairs and looked out the window and I saw 3 men mulling about outside. I got a coffee and sat at the kitchen table and found yesterday’s newspaper to kill time.
Sarah came in from the back hallway, a laundry basket filled with folded towels on her hip and ear buds in her ears. She was singing a pop song. She smiled when she spotted me and pulled a bud out, “Breakfast?”
I shook my head, “Not yet. Thanks. I’ll just get myself something when I’m ready”
She smiled and wagged her finger at me, “Don’t put me out of a job, Chiquita!” then headed out of the kitchen and upstairs, I presumed.
I decided to wander around. I saw it lacked a homey feeling. It was decorated sort of man cave’ish like the master bedroom with leather and dark wood and drab-colored or neutral walls but there weren’t pictures or photographs on the walls or in frames, there weren’t any mementoes. It was sort of sterile. I opened a door in the hall off the kitchen and found two other bedrooms. One was sort of utilitarian with a single bed and nightstand with a lamp and then table with four chairs and a coffee maker, fridge, sink, and stove so I assumed it was for the guards. There was a patio door in that room that led to the backyard. The other room I didn’t venture into as it was obviously Sarah’s room. It was large and had a warm vibe, decorated with cream and burgundy furnishings and dark cherry wood and had a dresser filled with framed photos and a sitting area with a coffee table fanned with books and magazines.
I found my way outside and decided to get some fresh air. There was a guard in the yard but he left the area when I went out. Good that they were trying to be as inconspicuous as possible but it was so obvious that the place was under lockdown and that everyone was on edge. I sat at the pool’s edge and dangled my feet in, staring out at the forest beyond the pool.
I heard voices in the kitchen so I strained to listen. Dario was on the phone again,
“I don’t give a fucking shit!” he yelled, “Find him!”
He stormed out onto the patio, an unlit cigarette in his mouth, putting his phone into his pocket (he was already dressed in a fresh suit) and then he lit it as he spotted me. His expression dropped and he inhaled deeply, as if the smoke was cleansing him.
“Mornin’” he finally said, gruffly. He looked like he hadn’t slept much either.
“Morning,” I replied and then looked back out to the forest. I didn’t want to ask as it was obvious that Tommy was missing.
** ** **
That day felt like a long one, like my gut was raw all day. I’d sat outside a while and then went into the kitchen and finally made myself eat a piece of buttered toast. Then I wandered back upstairs and looked around at the bedrooms, which all looked sort of the same, like hotel rooms. I found my way back to the master bedroom and tried to take a nap but I didn’t sleep. I felt that sick almost over-caffeinated feeling you feel when your body is tired but your brain is on overdrive.
I wondered how Rose was doing, how everyone was faring while wondering if I was okay. I wanted to reach out to them but there wasn’t a phone in this bedroom right now as the cordless phone base still sat empty. Dario’s words about not making calls rang in my ears but as it got darker I decided that I just had to make that call and at least tell her not to stress, that I was fine. I found a cordless in the family room and tucked it into the back of my shorts and pulled my sweater over it and then went back up to the master bedroom. I’d managed this feat without drawing any attention as Dario wasn’t in sight, Tommy’s office door was closed, and all the guards seemed to be outside. Sarah was busy cooking something in the kitchen.
I dialed Rose’s cell phone and got her voicemail. I was relieved to get her voicemail on one hand because that’d mean that I wouldn’t have to answer questions but on the other hand it made me sad because it wouldn’t tell me if she was okay or not.
I left a message, “Rose, it’s Tia. I just want you to know I’m fine. Everything is okay. I hope everyone is okay there. Please know I love all of you and I’ll be in touch again soon. Please don’t worry and please just leave things be --- I don’t want anyone at risk. Don’t worry about me, okay? Things are actually somewhat better so don’t stress. Love you guys. Bye.”
I hung up and then I hit the redial button and then the erase key. I then went down to return the smuggled phone to the family room. I got caught red-handed by Dario who walked into the family room just as I deposited the phone into the cradle.
“Tia, what the hell?”
I felt the color drain from my face, “I just left a voicemail for my foster mom to tell her I was fine. I don’t want them meddling and putting themselves in danger and thought if I just left a message to tell her I’m fine she would back off.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose, looking so much like his brother that I felt a stab of fear in my gut. He shook his head, “No more, okay? I can’t deal right now.” He left the room. I followed him into Tommy’s office.
“What’s going on?”
He shook his head and reached for a phone charger plugged into a power bar under Tommy’s desk and plugged his cell in, “Don’t worry about anything. It’s all good.”
“I call bullshit,” I said, folding my arms across my chest.
He rolled his eyes, “Alright, we can’t find him. We’re looking. I’m torn between going myself and staying. He wants you safe so I’m staying like he wants and trying to organize things from here is frustrating.”
“What about Earl and Juan Carlos?”
“He dealt with both of them; we know that.” Dario said.
I tried to ignore the cold pit in my gut. “Then where could he be?”
“Exactly.”
I sat down behind the big desk. I saw a photo in a frame of him, his father, and his siblings, their kids, and spouses, around a Christmas tree. There was a small wedding photo of who must’ve been his Mom with his father, by the looks of it, and beside that photo was the engagement ring he’d given me. I’d left it in Tessa’s car and she must’ve returned it to him.
I leaned over and picked it up and looked at it sparkling in the light.
Dario was in the doorway now, “I’ve gotta go outside and talk to someone. Stay out of trouble, please?”
“I will,” I told him as I put the ring back down. I stared at the picture of Tommy and his family around the Christmas tree. They were all smiling and looking happy, except him. He looked like he was forcing a smile for the camera but his eyes looked dark and broody. He looked like gangster Tommy in the photo, not ice cream parlor Tommy. I stared at the wedding photo of the young and pretty dark-haired woman in the white dress and veil standing beside the happy-looking youthful Thomas Ferrano Sr. I wondered if he was a criminal back then or if somet
hing changed him to become that way. I wondered what might’ve happened to Tommy to make him swing back and forth like a pendulum between good guy and bad guy. If he made it back could I find a way to keep it swinging in one direction versus the other or would that be totally out of my control?
** ** **
Sarah couldn’t talk me into more than a few bites of food for dinner. I just wasn’t hungry. I knew I hadn’t eaten much the last few days but how could I? I went to bed early, zoning out in front of the television and feeling myself drift before it was even dark outside.
The next day dragged, too. Dario was miserable. I heard him snapping at Sarah and at one of the guards. I hid out in the bedroom all day, trying to watch TV, read, I helped Sarah cook dinner. I tried to keep busy. I didn’t know what to think.
If Tommy was gone, what’d happen to me? If he was gone, how would I feel? I didn’t know how I felt about him. I felt numb about him, confused about him. I cried myself to sleep that night because I couldn’t cope. I couldn’t cope with the worry, the stress, the fear of the unknown, the flashes in my mind of him being sweet to me.
** ** **
“What’s this?” I heard in the dark, “Unauthorized sleepwear!”
I jackknifed straight up to sitting. Tommy was on his knees on the bed leaning over me, “You’re here,” I breathed and his lips were on my jaw and then my lips. He took my face in his hands and kissed me long and deep. I put my arms around his neck and he kissed me again and then backed up and then off the bed,
“I need a shower badly, baby. I’ll be back in five. Get naked!”
He backed up and threw his t-shirt over his head onto the floor and was undoing his pants as he headed to the bathroom.
I sat there in the dark, heart thumping loudly and then a minute later, without putting any thought into it, I padded to the bathroom and it was already filled with steam. I took off my pajamas and opened the shower door and stepped in behind him. I guess I had an inkling of how I was feeling after all.
Tommy