by Colbie Kay
"Okay."
I walk out and start unloading everything. By the time I got everything in the cabin and put away, it's late. "Hey, it’s getting late. I think I'm gonna go,” I tell her as I put my cut back on.
"Bear? Will you stay with me tonight? Please?”
"Are you sure?" I ask, turning to look at her.
"Yes, I want you to."
"Okay." Taking my cut back off, I walk into the kitchen and look in the fridge. They’ve stocked it with food so I walk out back and turn on the grill. I pull some steaks out and season them, and when grill is hot, I put them on to cook. Going back inside, I make a salad and boil some corn, still on the cob. I set the table and call Jacey when the food is ready.
"Bear, this is delicious! How did you learn to cook?"
"My mom taught me some. Then I had to start fending for myself, so I learned the rest on my own."
She looks at me with her big, beautiful multicolored eyes and asks, "So, how is this going to work?"
"What, with you livin' here?"
"Yeah, I mean, you said you won't be. When will you come over?"
"I wanna come over in the mornings before work, and in the evenings, if that's okay. Plus, I'll be here whenever you need me, all you have to do is call."
"You can see him whenever you want, you know.”
"I'm not comin' over to just to see him, Lil Mama, I'm comin' for you too. I had one of the hang-arounds that works for a security company put in a top of the line security system. He also installed a monitor system for Kellen, there are cameras everywhere. I'm sure you've seen all the monitors around. You turn those on and you can watch him from any room of the cabin. The code is 2746. Make sure you always have the alarm on, along with Kellen’s system, and as long as you do, you two will always be safe." We get done eating and Kellen starts crying, so I feed him and burp him. Jacey changes him and puts him back to sleep. We’re both exhausted from the day, so we go into the master bedroom. Jacey puts Kellen in his bassinet, which is on her side right next to the bed. The guys really came through. They thought of everything, I knew they would with the girls help. She changes into her night clothes and I strip down to my boxers, then we get under the covers and I bring her over to me, laying her head on my chest. I give her a kiss on the top of the head, then a thought crosses my mind, and I have to ask her. "You realize this is the first time we’ll be going to sleep and waking up together?"
"We've slept together."
"No, I climbed in bed with you after you were already asleep and left before you woke up."
"True. Huh, I guess it is.” She lifts her head to look at me. "This is all new for us. Usually we fuck and then I leave. What’re we gonna do for the next six week without that?"
"Jacey, I'm gonna make you fall in love with me."
"I already love you."
"There's a difference in loving someone and being in love with them."
"Yeah, I guess."
"You've never experienced it, Lil Mama, but I'm gonna give you the love my parents had, what Crazy Girl and Hanger have. Do you want that?" She says yes. "Then let me love you. Let me show you what it’s like to be loved."
"Okay, I'm in this Bear. No more running, remember."
"No more runnin',” I echo back. “Goodnight Lil Mama."
"Goodnight Bear." I lean down, giving her a kiss. It doesn't take either of us long to fall asleep.
Jacey
It's been four weeks since I had Kellen, and winter is in full force now. I sit out on the dock, sipping my steaming hot cup of coffee. I love coming out here in the evenings to watch the sun set behind the trees in the distance, it’s the most peaceful time of day for me and I can get lost in my thoughts. The cold air hitting your face, breath showing in the air. No more leaves on the trees as the branches are covered in snow just like the ground, the water from the pond is encased in ice. It's beautiful, peaceful, and quiet here in the country. No more sounds of sirens from police cars or ambulances going by. The only time I hear a vehicle is if it's someone coming over to visit.
Since it's too cold to take Kellen anywhere, the guys and girls come over to visit. Bear and I agreed that we don't want Kellen getting sick, so it's best if we keep him at home. We did take him one place, though, before it got too cold, and that was to the diner. Ma and Pop gushed over our baby boy, falling in love with him just like everyone else. It brought tears to my eyes and Ma cried right along with me. She told me she was so happy that everything worked out for us because she was always worried that Bear wouldn't find someone to settle down with. Little does she know that I'm the one holding back, not him.
I’ve gotten really close with Doc, and he knows more about my past now and understands why I did what I did. The other guys don't question it so I guess my apology was enough for them. Zoey and Ever know I’ll tell them in time so they leave it alone too.
I think back to that first night when Bear stayed with me. He said he was going to make me fall in love with him and I didn't understand at the time what he meant, but now I do. Every time I walk in the room and see him with his son, see all the love he has for him, it makes me fall a little bit more. Watching him sleeping with Kellen on his chest or talking to him does something to my heart. Bear comes over every day, but never stays the night, bringing us food and anything else we might need. He's just been really great, taking care of us. For the first time, I think I might actually get the kind of love he was talking about, the kind Zoey has. I want it, I just don't know if I'm ready quite yet. I'm not running though. I still worry about what he does at the clubhouse, being there with all those whores he was with. I'm scared he's not going to look at me the same, and I'm insecure because my body isn't back to tip top shape. Will he still want me like before? I hear the door slide open. I must’ve been deep in my thoughts because I didn't even hear him pull up. I turn towards it and there he is, looking as sexy as ever.
"Why are you out here? Where's Kellen?" he asks, as he puts his mouth to mine.
Pulling away from the kiss, I answer, "I was just thinking about things. He's taking a nap."
"C'mon, it's cold out here." He puts his hand out and I take it so he can lead me back inside. He walks me over to the couch. "Sit,” he instructs as he points to the cushion. Once I'm down, he sits back away from me, putting my legs in his lap. Taking my shoes and socks off, he starts rubbing my feet.
"That feels like heaven,” I sigh, making him chuckle to himself..
"So what were you thinking about?"
"Just some stuff."
"Jacey." He arches an eyebrow and cocks his head slightly.
I don't want him to think I'm keeping shit from him, so I tell him that I was just thinking over the last four weeks and how great it's been.
"Yeah,” he agrees, “it has been pretty great, huh?”
"Yeah, I mean, the way you are with Kellen, the way you are with me…I couldn't ask for more.”
He gives me that smile that I love so much as he says, "I got somethin' planned for you tonight."
"What? You know we can't go anywhere. It’s too cold outside for Kellen.”
"I know that, Jacey. We aren't goin’ anywhere.” I should've known he would plan something for here. He's so protective over his son.
"Okay."
“Stay here, I'll be right back." He gets up and goes outside. When he comes back in, he’s carrying bags of stuff and I wonder what he has planned. He goes back out to his truck and comes back a little while later. "C'mon,” he says as he takes my hand, leading me to the bathroom. He opens the door and my eyes go wide at what I see. Bear drew me a bubble bath with the jets blasting and rose petals scattered everywhere, plus he placed lit candles all around the room. I turn and look at him, he gives me a smile, and with a shrug of his shoulder he says, “Today’s about you, Lil Mama, so just relax and go with it. I have Kellen, so just stay in here as long as you want."
"Thank you."
"Don't thank me, just enjoy it."
I give him a
nod and he turns, walking out and shutting the door behind him. I strip down, then sink into the hot water, leaning back against the tub. I stay in until the water starts to get cold and my fingers and toes look like prunes. Putting on the robe that he left for me, I make my way to the living room. I lean against the wall and watch him sitting on the couch with Kellen on his chest.
One of Bear’s big hands covers his little butt, the other supports his head, and he's talking to his son, telling him,“Do you know how much I love you and your momma? No, you probably don't, but I'll tell you. I love you two more than anything in this world. The love I have for you guys is so deep, I feel it in my bones. I’ll always be here to take care of and protect the two of you, no matter what. I just have to make your momma open her heart to me and accept me for who I am. It's my mission to make her smile everyday, make her just as happy as my pop did for my momma. When you get older I'll teach you all the things he taught me, like playing sports and riding a bike. You’ll grow up to be a good man, buddy."
Finishing with a kiss to the top of his head, and there goes my heart again. Clearing my throat, letting him know I came into the room, I go sit down next to him.
"Hey, I'm just gonna put him in his bassinet. I changed and fed him, he just went back to sleep."
I lean over, kissing his little head and give Bear a nod.
Once he has Kellen down, he goes into the kitchen and I follow. He makes us chicken fettuccine with garlic bread and salad. Bear really is an amazing cook. I set the table and light some candles so it can be a romantic dinner., and once we get done eating, I help him clean up the kitchen. After we're done, he tells me to come with him to the bedroom.
“Lay on the bed on your stomach,” he instructs, and I’m wondering what the hell’s going on, but I do as I'm told anyway. He asks me if I'm still bleeding.
"Um… no, I stopped a week ago."
"Good,” he responds, and Trey Songs’ Scratchin’ Me Up starts playing. He comes over, straddling me on the bed as he pulls on the robe, loosening it up. I lift up a little to help him get it from around me, then he grabs the oil sitting on the night table. I close my eyes as drops of oil rain down on my spine. Bear starts to slowly massage it into my skin, using his rough hands to work my muscles over, making sure to reach every part of my backside, not leaving a single inch untouched. I wonder why he’s doing all this. Is he trying to make up for something he did with one of those whores?
"Roll over,” he commands, standing on the bed. I shake my head no. "I said roll over."
"Bear, I can't."
He sits down on the bed. "Hey," he says as I get the robe back around me and turn over. "Why not?"
"Because."
"Because... why?" He’s looking at me, frustration clear in his eyes, waiting for the truth.
"Have you been with any of those whores at the club since I've had Kellen? Or anybody else for that matter?"
"The fuck?” He's looking confused now. "Where the fuck did that come from?"
"I just need to know."
"No, I haven't been with anyone else, Jacey.”
"I'm sorry. I guess I'm just a little insecure." Bear asks me why, and I try to explain.
"My body's not the same as it used to be. I just...I don't know if you’ll still want me now or look at me the same." The song changes to Often by The Weeknd.
"Lay on your back. You’re not hiding from me." I slowly lay down.
"Put your arms above your head and don't fuckin' move 'em."
He climbs up the bed, taking his belt off. He puts a belt around my wrists, securing them to the iron bar on the headboard. I couldn't move them even if I wanted to. He then comes back down and undoes my robe, throwing it open, and leans down, kissing my mouth and my neck, making his way further down to my breasts.
Lifting his head to look at me, he says, "You’re a goddess, Jacey. You were gorgeous before, but now," he places his hand on my stomach,” you've carried my son in here, and there's not even a word to describe how much more beautiful you are to me."
Tears well up in my eyes. "Bear, I have stretch marks."
"No baby, you have warrior marks."
He then kisses each mark on my stomach before sitting up to take off his grey V-neck shirt and his loose fitting jeans, as well as his boxers. When he’s completely free of clothing, he comes and lays over me, holding his weight up with his elbows. His hard erection lays perfectly against my clit and he starts rolling his hips against me.
"Bear," I say. “We can't fuck."
"Nobody said nothin' ‘bout fuckin' Lil Mama. It's only been four weeks, that doesn't mean we can't do other shit."
He continues moving and grinding against me. He suddenly stops to sit up, grabbing the oil again, holding it over me. Drops land all over my breasts and stomach and he massages every part of my front like he did my back. Bear slides his fingers down between my legs, letting them trace along my lips. I'm so turned on and it's been so long, I feel like I could explode. He lightly runs his fingers over me a few more times until I’m pulling against the restraint of his belt, tipping my head back. His fingers leave the place I want them most as he leans down, kissing and sucking on my neck. His hands are on my breasts, fingers twisting and pulling at my nipples. He knows I like the pain, and I moan loudly, "God, Bear this feels amazing!”
"You haven’t felt nothin' yet, Lil Mama." He gets up and goes over, changing the song and putting it on repeat. Earned It by The Weeknd booms through the room as he stands there, gazing at me. He stalks back over to the bed ,leaning down and kissing the top of my feet, moving to my ankles, up my calves. Crawling up the bed, over my body, kissing every part of me and never breaking eye contact.
"Quit looking at me like that."
"Lookin' at you like what?" he asks, grinning.
"Like I'm your prey and you wanna eat me."
The grin forms into a smile as he chuckles. “Oh, Lil Mama, I'm about to do just that. I'm gonna show you how well I eat.” He skips over my top half, putting his mouth to mine and kissing me hard, letting our tongues dance. Moving over to my neck, he starts kissing, licking, and biting down. I tilt my head back to give him better access, and his tongue travels slowly down my body until he gets to my nipples, causing a shiver to go through me. He runs his tongue around my nipples, sucking them into his mouth and lightly biting them. My moans grow louder as he continues down over my stomach until he lands on that place I need him most.
"Please, Bear, I need you."
"I got you. I'm gonna give you what you need." He spreads my legs wide open. I'm completely at his mercy, no way to cover myself with my hands still secured by the belt. “You have the sweetest, prettiest cunt I've ever seen. So wet, I'm about to devour you. I've been a starvin' man since the last time I tasted you. On my lips, my tongue, my mouth, I want your taste everywhere. I'm gonna take everything you've got to give." He finally puts his mouth on me, running his tongue front to back. He spreads my lips apart, finding my clit with his tongue. Flicking it over and over until I'm thrashing on the bed, digging my nails into the palms of my hands. Shamelessly and quickly, I'm screaming out his name with the release I needed. He doesn't stop, continuing until I'm squirming away from him. He comes up and lays beside me, watching as I come down from the ecstasy he just gave me. Starting to kiss his way down again,, he goes back to teasing my still sensitive clit.
"Bear, stop. I can't take anymore!”
"Yes you can baby. I'm not done yet. Gotta taste you one more time." He goes back, assaulting my pussy again with his mouth. I feel him place a finger on my asshole, causing me to tense for a second, but then I remember how good it felt the first time, so I relax and let the sensations take over. Pretty soon I'm coming for the second time, screaming out his name once again, and when I open my eyes, he’s looking at me while jerking himself off. A few pumps and he shoots his cum all over my stomach and breasts. "Watchin' you cum is the sexiest thing I've ever seen in my life. Swear to fuckin' Christ, Lil Mama."
"Bear, will you untie me?"
"Yeah." He reaches up, finally freeing my hands. I put my hand against his cheek and lean up, kissing him. He goes to the bathroom and comes back with a wet washcloth to clean me up.
"I want to taste you too. Lay down."
"Not tonight, Lil Mama."
"What do you mean not tonight?"
"Tonight was all about you."
"Kellen fucking Rhodes, you better tell me what’s going on," I say, glaring at him. “You’ve been with one of those whores, haven't you? That's why you did all this, trying to make it up to me. You feel guilty, you lying piece of..." He interrupts me with his laughing. I don't know why because this isn't fucking funny.
"Jacey, calm down. I haven't been with anybody. I just did this all for you, but I did wanna ask you somethin'."
I knew there was a hidden agenda, the douchebag. "What?"
"Well, I know it's not in front of everybody, like what Hanger did, but I figure that's not us. I wanna know if you’ll be my Ol' Lady?"
"What?" I ask softly.
"Jacey, I don't want anyone else. You're the mother of my child, I love you. Will you be my Ol' Lady?"
"Bear, I can't."
"The fuck? Why not?"
"I'm not ready for that."
"You haven't fuckin' changed at all."
He goes to get up, but I grab his arm stopping him. "Bear, look at me," I say, hoping he'll listen. He turns and I wasn't prepared to see the hurt in his eyes. “Bear, I have changed, and I'm not running. I love you so much, but I just need time to figure shit out, like what I'm going to do instead of being a doctor. We still haven't worked out everything with us."
"What is there to work out? I thought we covered everything."
"I want to know why you aren't still pissed about me keeping the pregnancy a secret."
"Jacey, I am pissed about it, but there’s nothin' I can do! I can't go back. He's here now and you’re not keepin' him from me. What the fuck do you want from me, you want me to hate you?"
"No, of course I don't want you to hate me."
"We just gotta move on from it. I'm tryin' to get past it and not hold it against you. After I met your mom, I can understand more now of why you did what you did. Anybody raised by that cunt would have done the same thing.”