by Robin Hobb
I sat up cautiously: the hammers and anvils in my head had subsided to a monotonous drumming. The room appeared empty, but someone had been there recently. Washwater steamed near the hearth, and a small covered dish of porridge kept warm near it. As soon as I discovered these items, I put them to good use. My stomach was still reluctant to accept food, but I ate stoically, knowing it was for the best. I washed, put on a kettle for tea and then wandered down to the worktable. A large map of Buck was unfurled across it. The corners were weighted with a mortar and two pestles and a teacup. An inverted wineglass rested on the map itself. When I lifted it, I found Galeton underneath it. It was on a tributary of the Buck River, northwest of Buck and on the other side of the river from Buckkeep. I had never been there. I tried to recall what I knew of Galeton and swiftly did so. Absolutely nothing.
My Wit alerted me to Chade’s presence, and I turned as the hidden door swung open. He entered briskly. The tops of his cheeks were pink with the morning, and his white hair gleamed silver. Nothing invigorated the old man so much as fresh intrigue. ‘Ah, you’re up. Excellent,’ he greeted me. ‘I managed to arrange an early breakfast with Lord Golden, despite the absence of his serving-man. He assured me that he could be ready to travel in a few hours. He’s already concocted an excuse for the trip.’
‘What?’ I asked him, befuddled.
Chade laughed aloud. ‘Bird feathers, of all things. Lord Golden has a number of interesting hobbies, but his most current fascination is feathers. The larger and brighter the better. Galeton borders on a wooded upland, and has a reputation for pheasants, grouse and whiptails. The latter have rather extravagant plumage, especially their tail feathers. He’s already sent a runner on ahead to Lady Bresinga of Galeton, entreating hospitality from her while on his quest. It won’t be refused. Lord Golden is the most popular novelty that Buckkeep Court has seen in a decade. Having him guest at her manor will be a social coup for her.’
He paused, but it was I who took a breath. I shook my head as if it would settle my brains and enable me to catch up with him. ‘The Fool is going to Galeton to find Dutiful?’
‘Ah-ah!’ Chade cautioned me. ‘Lord Golden is going to Galeton to hunt birds. His manservant, Tom Badgerlock will, of course, accompany him. I hope that in the course of running down birds, you’ll pick up the trail of the Prince. But that, of course, is our private errand.’
‘So I’m going with him.’
‘Of course.’ Chade peered at me. ‘Are you all right, Fitz? You seem wool-witted this morning.’
‘I am. It seems that all is happening so fast.’ I didn’t say to him that I had become accustomed to ordering my own life and journeys. It felt strange to revert to living each day as another person decreed. I swallowed my protests. What had I expected? If we were to regain Prince Dutiful, this was how it must be. I struggled to find new footing for my thoughts. ‘Does Lady Bresinga have a daughter?’
Chade considered. ‘No. Only the son, Civil. I believe she fostered a girl cousin for a time. That would have been Fillip Bresinga. She is, let me see, I think she would be nearly thirteen now. She has returned home since spring.’
I shook my head, both in denial and in wonder. Chade had obviously refreshed his information on the Bresinga family since last night. ‘I sensed a woman, not a child. An … attractive woman.’ I had nearly said seductive. When I thought back to my experience of the night before, the dream became mine, and I recalled only too well how she had stirred my blood. Tantalizing. Challenging. I glanced back at Chade. He was watching my face with undisguised dismay. I asked the next question. ‘Has Dutiful expressed an interest in a woman? Might they have run away together?’
‘Eda forbid,’ Chade exclaimed fervently. ‘No.’ He denied it almost desperately. ‘There is no woman in Dutiful’s life, not even a girl he finds attractive. We have been very careful not to allow him the opportunity to develop such a bond. Kettricken and I decided long ago that it would be for the best.’ More quietly, he added, ‘She did not want to see her son torn as you were, between heart and duty. Have you never wondered how different things might have been if you had not loved Molly, if you had accepted your match with Lady Celerity?’
‘I have. But I will never regret loving Molly.’
I think the vehemence in my voice persuaded Chade to change tack. ‘There is no such love in Dutiful’s life,’ he declared with finality.
‘There wasn’t. There may be now,’ I contradicted him.
‘Then I pray it is a youthful infatuation, one that can be swiftly –’ He searched for a word. ‘Terminated,’ he said at last, and winced at his own choice. ‘The boy is already promised. Don’t look at me like that, Fitz.’
Obediently, I looked away. ‘I do not think he has known her long. Part of her allure was her mystery.’
‘Then we must endeavour to recover him swiftly, with little damage done.’
The next question was my own, asked for me. ‘What if he does not wish to be recovered?’ I asked in a low voice.
Chade was silent for a moment. Then, he said heartily, ‘Then you must do as you think best.’
My shock must have been apparent on my face, for he laughed aloud. ‘For there is little use in my pretending that you will do otherwise, is there?’ He drew a breath and sighed it out. ‘Fitz. I ask only this. Think in large terms. A boy’s heart is a precious thing, as is a man’s life. But the well-being of all the people of the Six Duchies and the Out Islands is even more precious. So, do what you think best. But be sure you truly have given it thought.’
‘I can’t believe you are allowing me that much leeway!’ I exclaimed.
‘Can’t you? Well, perhaps I know you better than you think I do.’
‘Perhaps,’ I conceded. But I wondered if he knew me as well as he thought he did.
‘Well, you arrived only a few days ago, and here I am sending you off again,’ Chade abruptly observed. He clapped me on the shoulder but his smile seemed a bit forced. ‘Think you can be ready to leave in an hour or so?’
‘I’ve not much to pack. But I’ll need to make a trip down to Buckkeep Town, to leave a message for Hap with Jinna.’
‘I can take care of that for you,’ Chade offered.
I shook my head. ‘She doesn’t read, and if I am to be Tom Badgerlock, then I wouldn’t have folk running errands for me. I’ll take care of it.’ I didn’t tell him that I wanted to do it myself.
‘As you wish,’ he replied. ‘Let me prepare a note for the boy to present to Master Gindast when he goes to him about his apprenticeship. The rest will be done subtly, I promise you. The joiner will believe he takes Hap on as a favour to one of his most affluent customers.’ Chade paused a moment. ‘You know, all we can offer the boy is a chance to prove himself. I can’t force the man to keep him on if Hap is clumsy or lazy.’ At my outraged look, Chade grinned. ‘But I am sure he is not. Just allow me a moment to compose my note for Hap to carry.’
It took more than a moment, of course. When I finally had it in hand, I found myself hurrying after the fleeing morning. I encountered Lord Golden in his chambers when I emerged from my own dark little cell. He clucked over the state of my slept-in clothes and commanded that I pick up my new garments from the tailor so that I would have appropriate garb for our journey. He informed me that we would travel alone and swiftly. Lord Golden had already established a reputation for both eccentricity and adventurousness. No one would look askance at this expedition. He also told me that he had himself selected a horse for me, and was having it freshly shod. I could pick her up from a smithy. He assumed I would wish to select my own tack, and gave me a letter of credit for that as well before sending me on my way. At no time did he vary from his Lord Golden manners, and I maintained my demeanour as Tom Badgerlock. These were roles we had to settle into as swiftly as possible. No errors could be made once we began to move in public. By the time I finally set out for Buckkeep Town, I was laden with errands and the sun was moving far too swiftly across the sky.
I went next to Jinna’s shop, but there I met disappointment. She was not home, and her niece had no idea when she would be back. Fennel came to greet me. You love me. You know you do. Pick me up.
It seemed pointless to disobey. I picked him up. He sank his claws into my shoulder as he diligently marked my jerkin with his brow.
‘Jinna went up into the hills yesterday evening, and spent the night there, so that she could gather mushrooms first thing in the morning. She might be back in a moment, she might not return until the night falls,’ Miskya told me. ‘Oh, Fennel, stop being a pest. Come here.’ She took the cat from my arms, tsk-ing over the coating of tawny hair that clung to my jerkin.
‘No matter that, I assure you. But, oh, this is awkward,’ I apologized, and told her that my master had suddenly decided to take a journey and I must accompany him. I left with her the letter Chade had written for Hap, along with a note from me to my boy. Nighteyes would not be pleased to reach the city and find me gone. Nor would he relish lingering there, waiting for me. I belatedly realized I was leaving Jinna not just my son, but a wolf, a pony and a cart to tend until my return. I wondered if Chade could be of any help with that. I had no coin to leave for their keep, only my greatest thanks and deepest assurances that I would make good any expenses she encountered on their behalf.
‘So you’ve told me, Tom Badgerlock.’ Miskya smiled at me in gentle rebuke, obviously humouring my worry. Fennel tucked his head under her chin and regarded me severely. ‘Three times now you’ve told me that you’ll be back soon and pay us well. Rest comfortable, your son will be in good hands and welcome here, pay or not. I doubt you asked coin of my aunt when you welcomed her to your home.’
At Miskya’s words, I realized I had been clucking on like an apprehensive hen. With an effort, I stopped myself from explaining again just how sudden and urgent my errand was. By the time I had conveyed my awkward thanks, I felt completely disorganized and bemuddled. Scattered, as if parts of me were at my abandoned home and with Nighteyes and Hap, and even in the tower room at Buckkeep. I felt vulnerable and exposed. ‘Well, goodbye,’ I offered Miskya.
Sleeping in the sun is nicer. Take a nap with the cat, Fennel suggested as Miskya told me, ‘Travel well.’
As I walked away from Jinna’s house, guilt gnawed at me. I was leaving my responsibilities for strangers to deal with. I rigorously denied my disappointment at not seeing Jinna again before I left. The single kiss she had given me hung waiting, like a conversation unconcluded, but I refused to contemplate where it might lead. As complicated as things were, adding another tangle to my life was the last thing I should consider. Yet I had looked forwards to seeing her again, and being denied that dimmed my excitement at the journey.
For I was excited to be on my way. The guilt that I felt at leaving Hap’s welfare to someone else was an odd reflection of how freed I felt by this undertaking. In a short time the Fool and I would ride off together into El knew what, with only ourselves to look after. It promised to be a pleasant ride in fair weather with a good companion. There was more of holiday to it than errand. My fears for Prince Dutiful had been largely laid to rest by last night’s dream. The boy had been in no physical danger. Intoxicated with the night and the woman he pursued, the only danger was to his young heart, and no one could shield him from that. Truth to tell, I did not see my task as particularly difficult. We knew where to look for the lad, and with or without my wolf, I had always been a good tracker. If Lord Golden and I did not immediately flush the young prince from Galekeep, then I would track him down in the surrounding hills. Doubtless we would not be gone long. With that reassuring thought, I salved my conscience and went on to the smithy.
I had not expected much of a horse. Almost, I had feared that the Fool’s sense of humour would express itself through Lord Golden’s selection of horseflesh. I found the smith’s girl cooling herself with water from the rain barrel and told her I had come to fetch the horse Lord Golden had left for shoeing. She bobbed her head in understanding, and I waited where she left me standing. The day was warm enough. I had no desire to enter the inferno of noise and heat that was the blacksmith’s shop.
The girl was back soon enough, leading a rangy black mare. I walked round her once and looked up to find she was regarding me with the same wary gaze I was giving her. She appeared sound and unscarred by misuse. I quested lightly towards her. She snorted and would not look at me, refusing the contact. She had no interest in being friends with a human.
‘She was a nasty bit to shoe,’ the smith informed me loudly as he came sweating from his shop. ‘No manners about lifting her feet for a man to handle. And she’ll kick if she gets the chance, so mind that. Tried to take a nip out of my girl, too. But it was only while we were shoeing her. The rest of the time, she minded her manners well enough.’
I thanked him for his warnings and gave him the promised purse from Lord Golden. ‘Has she a name that you know?’ I asked him.
The smith pursed his lips and shook his head. ‘Never saw her afore this morning. If she had a name, she likely lost it in the horse-trade. Call her what you will; likely she’ll ignore it.’ I set the issue of her name aside. Her worn halter went with her, and by that I led her down to a saddler. I purchased plain, serviceable tack and despite my best bargaining efforts, I was still outraged at what they charged for it. The man’s expression plainly said he thought me unreasonable. As I went outside with the tack I had selected, I wondered if I truly were. I had never had to purchase tack before; perhaps Burrich’s obsession with repairing tack had been founded on how much the stuff cost.
The mare had been restive as I had tried several saddles on her, and when I tried to mount her, danced sideways. Once I was up, she answered the reins and my knees, but sloppily. I scowled at that but schooled myself to patience with her. Perhaps after we had taken one another’s measures she would serve me better. And if she did not, well, patience was required to unteach any horse’s bad habits. I had best accustom myself to that now. As I rode her carefully up the steep streets of Buckkeep Town, I reflected that perhaps I had been far more spoiled in my youth than I had ever known. Excellent horses, good tack, fine weapons, decent clothing, plentiful food: I had taken so much for granted.
A horse? I could teach a horse whatever it needs teaching. Why do you need a horse?
Nighteyes had slipped into my mind so easily I’d scarce been aware of him sharing my thoughts. I have to go somewhere. With the Scentless One.
Must it be on horseback? He didn’t allow me time to reply. I sensed his annoyance. Wait for me. I’m nearly there.
Nighteyes, no, don’t come to me. Stay with the boy. I’ll be back soon enough.
But he was gone, and my own thought was left hanging unanswered. I quested towards him but found only fog. He wouldn’t argue with me. He simply wouldn’t hear me telling him to stay with Hap.
The guards at the gate scarcely gave me a glance. I frowned and resolved to speak about that to Chade. Just because I was wearing blue clothing did not mean I had legitimate business in the castle. I rode up to the stable doors, dismounted, and then halted, heart hammering. From inside the stable came the voice of a man genially instructing someone in how to correctly clean a horse’s hooves. Years had deepened the voice, but I still recognized it. Hands, my boyhood friend and now the Stablemaster at Buckkeep, was just inside the open doors. My mouth went dry. The last time he had seen me, he had regarded me as either a ghost or a demon, and run shouting for the guards. That had b
een years ago. I was much changed, I told myself, but could put no faith in the years as my sole disguise. I took refuge in becoming Tom Badgerlock.
‘Here, boy,’ I summoned a lad loitering outside the stable. ‘Put this horse up for me. She belongs to Lord Golden, so see she is well treated.’
‘Yes, sir,’ he replied. ‘He sent us word to watch for Tom Badgerlock and a black mare, and to saddle up his own horse as soon as you returned. He said to tell you that you’re wanted up in his rooms as soon as you show.’ With that, he took my mare away without another word. I breathed out, relieved at how easily I had passed that hurdle, and turned away from the stable. Before I had gone a dozen steps, a man hurried past me, evidently on an errand of his own. As he passed me he gave me not a glance. I stared after Hands. He had put on girth with the years, but then, so had I. His dark hair was thinning on his head, but bristled thicker than ever on his brawny arms. In a moment he turned a corner and was out of sight. I stood staring after him, feeling as if I truly were a ghost, invisible in his world. Then I took a breath and hurried on my own way. In time, I reflected, he would catch a glimpse of Tom Badgerlock here and there about the keep, and by the time we stood face to face, I would have assumed that name and identity so completely that he would not question it.
I felt my life as Fitz was like footprints on a dusty floor, already being swept aside and overtrodden by others. It did not help that as I passed the Great Hall, I heard Lord Golden’s voice lifted in sudden summons. ‘Ah, there you are, Tom Badgerlock! Excuse me, ladies, here is my good man now. Farewell, fare well all in my absence!’
I watched him detach himself from a gaggle of noble ladies. They let him go reluctantly, fluttering fans and eyelashes after him, one making a pretty mouth of disappointment. Lord Golden smiled fondly on them all, waving a languid valediction with a graceful hand as he strode up to me. ‘Errands done? Excellent. Then we shall complete our preparations and be on our way while the sun is still high.’