Colt shrugged. ‘I don’t know, Lys and I went over there to pick them up and… they asked us to go inside. Bri did the talking, Blaser just kept staring at her.’
‘I guess it’s a shock. They’ve only been back together for a couple of months,’ Ruger said. ‘Is it definitely his?’
‘You watch your mouth,’ Blaser snapped and stopped his pacing.
‘I didn’t mean like she’d cheated on you,’ Ruger said. ‘I didn’t know if she was with anyone before you got together, you know.’
Ruger knew about Bri’s rape, but that had taken place more than a year ago and he wasn’t privy to all of her movements since then.
‘She hasn’t been with anyone,’ Blaser said, sliding his hands into his pockets then strolling to his brothers’ position. He kicked at the edge of the patio they stood on and breathed out. ‘She’s pregnant.’
‘I want to say congratulations,’ Ruger said. ‘You guys have been sort of coasting towards this since high school. I can’t imagine you having kids with anyone else to be honest.’
‘This isn’t about that,’ Blaser said, he spoke softly, his tone was shrewd, Blaser knew Bri better than anyone else and there was no doubt about their love for each other. ‘The woman I love is carrying my kid.’ He opened his hands to the heavens then let them swing up to link his fingers on the top of his head. ‘I’m thrilled, guys, really I am.’
Knowing this let them all relax a bit and after the shoulder slapping and brotherly hugs, they were all smiling. ‘If it’s a boy, you have to name it Ruger,’ Ruger said, then pointed at Colt. ‘I called it first, you lost out.’
Blaser’s happiness faded away and again his expression became serious. ‘I don’t know if she’s ready for this.’
‘Bri?’ Colt asked.
‘Yeah, with everything she’s gone through… us losing each other and last year. Plus, there’s all this stuff with Gary and we’ll both have to testify in court.’
‘So he’ll see that she’s pregnant,’ Ruger said. ‘Has she been to visit?’
‘A couple of times,’ Blaser said, bobbing his head. ‘Gary is still blaming her for everything that’s gone wrong in his life, but he keeps sending her visit requests. He wants to see her, yet every time she comes back from there, she’s a mess.’
‘She did the right thing,’ Colt said. ‘Gary murdered a man and he wasn’t done. You could’ve been next on that list.’
‘I know and I think she knows it too. But that doesn’t help ease the guilt she feels at shopping her own brother to the cops,’ Blaser said.
Ruger knew all about carrying guilt. It didn’t matter how many times you were told that a situation wasn’t your fault or that you’d done the right thing. You couldn’t rationalise your way out of guilt once it had you in its grip.
‘Have you had it confirmed?’ Colt asked. ‘The pregnancy test could’ve been wrong.’
‘She took three,’ Blaser said. ‘I hate that I wasn’t there with her. She told me at the club. She took them at her apartment. And that’s another thing, I mean the both of us are so busy all the time, how will we look after a baby?’
‘You’ve got a babysitter on call,’ Colt said, tipping his head back toward the house. ‘You know that Mom will look after the little guy all the time. Lys and I will have him too.’
Blaser became more solemn. ‘Dude, I’m sorry that—‘
‘Hey, don’t even worry about it,’ Colt said. ‘It’s not like you planned this.’
‘Yeah, but you guys did, and… you know…’
‘We’ll get there,’ Colt smiled. ‘The practising is a lot of fun. I didn’t even think about it until Ruger asked about Lys. Apparently his Layla is quicker than I am.’
‘My Layla? What the hell did you say that for?’ Ruger asked after a double-take.
Blaser and Colt jeered and Ruger got a punch on the shoulder. ‘You’re wound tight about that, aren’t you?’ Blaser asked then looked to Colt. ‘What did I tell you?’
‘Tell you what?’ Ruger asked. ‘What are you two talking about?’
‘Blaser told me on night one that you were hung up on the girl and I think he’s right,’ Colt said.
‘Not that it matters when a guy can’t follow through,’ Ruger muttered and his brothers began to heckle again.
‘That admission puts our problems in perspective,’ Blaser said to Colt.
‘Yeah, you should talk to Lyssa,’ Colt said. ‘She specialises in guys who can’t satisfy their women.’
‘Guess we know why she’s with you then, don’t we?’ Ruger teased and they all laughed. ‘The equipment isn’t the problem, the location is. I can’t exactly screw her under Mom’s roof, can I?’
‘Mom tell you that?’ Colt asked.
‘I didn’t ask Mom’s permission,’ Ruger said. ‘I don’t know how that would go. “Hey, Mom, you know the girl I moved into your house and told you repeatedly that I wasn’t in a relationship with? Well, how would you feel about me fucking her senseless in my childhood bedroom?” I don’t think that would go over too well.’
‘If mom thought it would get you hitched then she’d probably be ok with it,’ Colt said.
‘Hitched? Just ‘cause her legs go all the way to heaven, doesn’t mean I’m going to put a ring on her finger. Layla isn’t into that anyway.’
‘Isn’t into what?’ Colt asked.
‘Marriage,’ Ruger said, giving Colt a shove. ‘Anyway, fuck off talking about me, what about him? Blase, what are you going to do?’
The back door opened and they all turned to see Bri coming down the back stairs towards them.
‘What are you doing out here, Doll?’ Blaser asked, shoving between his brothers to meet Bri halfway. ‘Get back inside, it’s warmer in there.’
‘I’m not getting rid of it,’ Bri said, determined and sure.
‘What?’
‘If you guys are out here talking about how best to… I’m not getting rid of our child, Blase—‘
‘Baby, I would never ask you to do that,’ he said, cupping her face. ‘This is our kid and I love you, this is a home run for me.’
‘But you’ve been… I didn’t do it on purpose if that’s what you think.’
‘Would you stop talking,’ Blaser said. ‘I’m worried about you, that’s all that I’ve been thinking about. You don’t want to live together, you’ve just started spending the night and… this is a lot to deal with after what you’ve been through and—‘
‘This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me,’ she said. ‘For all of the darkness that’s been in our lives, finally we have something to celebrate together, something happy. It’s going to be difficult and I don’t know how we’re going to figure this all out but… we have nine months to make all the big decisions. Can’t we just be happy that this happened to us at all?’
‘Yeah,’ Blaser said on an exhaled laugh. ‘Yeah, we can.’ He kissed her so thoroughly that out of respect both Ruger and Colt turned their backs on the spectacle.
‘I think they need a minute,’ Ruger whispered at Colt.
‘I think they need more than that,’ Colt said. ‘Hope all the neighbours are away from their windows.’
‘Yeah, or they might blind a couple of kids.’
‘We can’t tell your mom, not yet,’ Bri said. The couple were talking, so Ruger and Colt moved around to bring them into view again. ‘We’re not telling anyone until after twelve weeks.’ Nudging Blaser aside, Bri glared at both of them. ‘That goes for you two as well, don’t tell anyone until we’re sure everything is going to be ok.’
‘Scouts honour,’ Ruger said, holding up his fingers, but she wasn’t fooled.
‘You were never a scout, Ruger. Lyssa I trust completely, she takes confidentiality seriously. But I don’t know your girlfriend, Ruger, so—‘
‘She’s not my girlfriend,’ Ruger protested and from the way Bri glanced at Blaser he’d guess that Bri knew that. ‘You know what? All of you can go to hell.’ Heading back to the h
ouse, Colt came along with him, but after the taunting died down, Blaser and Bri stayed out in the yard.
Ruger got inside to see that Layla had finished with the dishes. The dishwasher was on and she had hand-washed the dishes that didn’t fit in the machine. Colt patted his back. ‘I’m going to take Lyssa home,’ he said to his brother. ‘Goodnight, Layla.’
‘Goodnight,’ she called as she finished wiping down all of the counters.
‘What are you doing?’ Ruger asked, walking over to take the cloth out of her hand. ‘You didn’t have to scrub the whole room.’
‘It was that or go and sit with your mother, who I’m sure is fitting me for a wedding dress.’
‘I’m surprised that the idea didn’t bring you out in hives,’ he said, linking his fingers in hers. ‘Want to take a walk?’
‘I guess. How’s Bri?’
‘Fine, better than fine, I think they’re really happy.’
‘It didn’t seem that way at the table,’ Layla said, taking off the apron she’d worn to do the dishes and hanging it back up where she’d found it. ‘And Bri marched out of here with purpose, I don’t even know if she saw me.’
Ruger took her hand again and they exited through the back door. Blaser and Bri were at the rear of the garden now, too far away to notice Ruger taking Layla down the path and out of the gate onto the drive.
‘Why are we walking?’ she asked, but kept time beside him.
‘I just needed to get out of there. It’s so intense. Blaser and Bri are having a kid; Colt and Lyssa want one, they’re getting married.’
‘Everyone is growing up except for little Ruger.’
‘Little Ruger is plenty capable of growing.’
‘I wasn’t talking about your dick,’ she said. ‘Lyssa was so right about you.’
‘That statement is usually a prelude to someone telling another someone what’s wrong with them. So go on, what does Lyssa say?’
‘That you’re afraid to get hurt. That you make jokes to make people believe that you don’t need them.’
‘Interesting analysis, Doctor Jansen,’ Ruger said, curving his arm around her shoulders. ‘And what would Lyssa say about your tendency to aim your gibes at those you are most comfortable with?’
‘I don’t know what you mean,’ she said, shrugging his arm away from her body.
‘I joke with everyone and yeah, maybe I do it to keep people at arm’s length. But you, you’re perfectly nice to my mom and dad. You never make fun of Colt or Blase. You aim your sass at Drew and at me, why do you do that?’
‘I don’t,’ she said, picking up the pace. Layla headed to the corner and rounded onto the next street, but he caught up with her without much effort.
‘You do and you know why you do it. It’s like I said, it’s because you’re pushing at us. You want to see how far you can push us. You want us to prove that we’re not going to walk away. Is that why you refused all those marriage proposals, because you wanted one guy to stick around? You wanted one to really fight for you instead of creeping away with his tail between his legs?’
‘You think you know so much,’ she said with enough anger that he knew he’d hit a nerve. She stopped and squared her shoulders. ‘I don’t need anyone to stick around and I don’t need anyone to fight for me. I said no because I didn’t want to marry those guys. I didn’t want to be with them. It’s as simple as that. There’s no underlying agenda.’
‘Ok,’ he said with his hands in his pockets. ‘If that’s so then why are you shouting at me? Couldn’t you just tell me that in the course of conversation on our lovely evening stroll?’
A couple walking their dog on the other side of the street called to him and he offered a wave in salutation. When she spoke again, she wasn’t as irate as she had been and her shoulders had lost their starch.
‘You’ve lived around here a long time, haven’t you?’
‘We grew up in that house,’ he said. ‘So yeah, I know most of the faces around here.’
‘I haven’t been back home since my mom died,’ she said. ‘I was living in a dorm at college when she died, she had been in the hospital for a couple of weeks. After she was gone, I… I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t go back there and go through all of our memories. Drew did it all by himself.’
‘You were a kid and he was your big brother, it was sort of his job to look after you.’
‘And whose job was it to look after him?’ she asked. ‘I know why Drew does what he does. I know that he’s looking for something, and that he gets the distraction he needs in his work. I can’t imagine what memories he fights with, what it was like going back to our mother’s house, alone, packing up everything she’d ever owned. He dealt with the lawyers and the doctor’s bills. You accused me of being judgemental when it came to his work—‘
‘I didn’t mean—‘
‘I get angry at him because if he dies then I’ll have no one left. No one who knew her or knew about what we went through as a family. All of those memories will be lost.’
‘Babe,’ he said, offering her a hand. She considered the gesture then slid her fingers between his and began to walk again.
‘I see all of you, you with your brothers and their partners, and it’s… it’s a beautiful thing to see.’
‘I guess we take it for granted.’
He’d always had his brothers looking out for him. It had been easy to become the joker of the group because Colt took things seriously enough for everyone and Blaser was street savvy, he could see a threat coming. So while growing up Ruger had just let them take care of what was important and he spent his time enjoying himself believing that his brothers would take care of the responsible things.
As he’d gotten older he’d been wise enough to look after himself, but he still had his brothers to rely on as well. He had his parents, who were still together and in love. Despite his trade, he had security, he always had a home to come back to and people he could call on to help him in any time of need.
‘I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me there,’ she said, reinforcing her modesty with a laugh. ‘I never open up to guys like that.’
‘Maybe you should try it more often,’ he said. ‘As a guy, I can tell you that I approve.’
‘You have a therapist in your family,’ she laughed. ‘From what I know of Lyssa’s influence on all of you, she would be devastated to discover you’d dumped a woman just because she opened up to you.’
‘Dumped you, huh? Does that mean we’re a thing now?’
Teasing with a brow raise, she let her expression morph into a smirk. ‘A thing?’ she asked. ‘I had my hand in your pants before we ate at your mother’s dinner table. Yeah, I think there’s definitely some sort of “thing” between us, don’t you?’
‘Yeah,’ he said. Her fingers were cold, so he pulled her closer to cradle her digits with his other hand too. ‘If you’re cold we should go inside.’
‘Not yet,’ she said. ‘Just one more block.’
Searching for something else to talk about that wouldn’t lead to Layla reliving bad memories, his thoughts were cut off when she moved against him. Following her lead, he let go of her hand and put his arm around her again. This softer side of Layla, the side open to being affectionate, was new to him, but he liked it just as much as the sassy woman who was used to facing life alone.
Blaser’s future was carving itself out, all Blaser was doing was making choices and living his life. Colt and Lyssa were making decisions that weren’t panning out as they’d hoped, but that didn’t stop them from trying.
Watching his family mature and grow was enlightening for him. Ruger had never given much thought to how he wanted his future to look because he’d always assumed that when the time was right things would just happen.
But things wouldn’t just happen if he didn’t decide what he wanted from his life, and who he wanted in it. His career was non-existent. He couldn’t rely on his illegal exploits especially not now that he knew they hurt people.
Maybe an aspect of moving forward in his professional life would mean making changes in his personal one too. And just like that he made the decision to book a hotel room for the following night, proving to himself that choices weren’t tough to figure out as long as you were decisive in obeying your instincts.
Chapter Nine
‘You know, dinner was a nice surprise, but your, “Let’s take this upstairs line” was a bit cheesy,’ Layla said while being dragged down the corridor of the hotel Ruger had brought her to for dinner.
‘How else did you want me to say it?’ he said, turning to walk backward and bringing her hand up to his mouth. ‘You want me just to come out and say, “Hey, baby, I booked a room, get your panties off”, would that have worked?’
‘Maybe,’ she grinned. The wine had been sweet and Ruger had been attentive. This was a night of seduction to be sure and she should have cottoned on to his intentions when he said they were eating in the hotel restaurant. ‘But just because you bought me dinner doesn’t mean that I owe you anything.’
‘No, that’s true,’ he said, pulling her up to a room door and caging her against it while he fumbled in his pocket for a key.
He’d had a drink of his own, but he didn’t need any courage. Capturing her mouth with his, he distracted her while he unlocked the door. It swung away from behind her and he reached inside to flick on a light. Although he was still trying to kiss her, Layla turned around to emphasise her point and to prove that she wasn’t going to be a sure thing for him. Except her gusto abandoned her when she saw the gold pinstripe linen covered with crimson rose petals.
Maybe dinner didn’t mean she owed him, but the trouble he’d gone to in order to create this surprise for her might leave her somewhat beholden.
‘This is amazing,’ she said.
Seizing her hand again, he pulled her toward the bed. Layla was about to tell him off for his eager behaviour when he surprised her by stopping at the end and bending to retrieve a bucket of champagne on ice, which was secreted behind the foot post of the bed.
‘You thought I was going to stick my head up your skirt, didn’t you?’ he asked, sitting on the end of the bed and tugging her down to do the same.
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