‘What did he—‘
‘It’s not his fault, I am an idiot,’ she said, taking his hand to guide them both over and onto the couch.
‘Ok, I don’t know what—‘
‘My mother’s death caught me off-guard,’ she said. Never having spoken about her feelings regarding the loss of her mother, this was a difficult conversation. But cutting through the bullshit was easier with Ruger, which was odd given what a joker he was. Even though he tried to hide it behind his humour, Layla read the depth of his character that lay beyond it. Maybe it was easier for her to see what others didn’t because she herself was so good at concealing truth behind wit. ‘I was devastated when it happened because I’d been so optimistic about the future. I was so young and… I was still naïve enough to believe that if you believed in something then you had the power to make it come true. But it’s not true. We can’t will our own destiny to turn out how we want it to.’
‘No, we can’t,’ he said, stroking her hand. ‘I can’t imagine how awful it must have been for you. My family is close and… I don’t know what I’d do if I lost any of them.’
‘The worst part is the lack of control. I wanted to feel that if I’d done something differently, if we’d taken a different approach, then it would’ve made a difference. Eventually you realise that with something like cancer, you don’t have that choice, you don’t have any choice. All of us, me, my mom, and Drew, we had no influence over the outcome. The disease is vicious and indiscriminate. I got so angry when I fixated on that idea of helplessness and I promised myself that I would never find myself in that position again.’
‘So you don’t let anyone get close.’
‘I guess I don’t.’
‘And you don’t let yourself rely on your brother, which is why you always live far away from him.’
Releasing some of the tension that came with discussing such a sensitive subject, she exhaled on a shrug and tried to slow her words and her thinking down a bit. ‘I suppose I’m not as complicated as you thought,’ she said.
‘Listen,’ he said, snagging her wrist to pull her body into his. ‘We’re all simple creatures and it’s natural to worry about being hurt when you’ve gone through pain like you have.’
‘But life is a game of risk. If we don’t take a chance, how can we expect a reward?’ she mumbled, using Blaser’s sentiment.
‘There are different kinds of risk,’ he said. ‘Getting close to people, trusting people, yeah that’s risky, but the rewards are worth it.’
Shifting out of his arms, she wanted to read the nuance of his expression when asking her next question. ‘Why did you hide your profession from your brothers for so long?’
Maintaining eye contact as he considered his response, she appreciated that he wanted to get his words right. From her experience tonight, she knew that answers didn’t come easily. ‘Fear of judgement at first, I guess,’ he said. ‘I started in college. It was just dabbling for cash. But I connect with people, they could approach me. I was good at matching people with merchandise. I’m good with faces and names.’
‘There must have been chances for you to be honest,’ she said. ‘Throughout all the years since college, you could’ve told them.’
‘Blaser went through a rough phase. Until he went to prison, he was involved with some shady characters who got him into a lot of trouble. That caused friction in his relationship with Colt, who was a cop at the time.’
‘You didn’t want that same friction?’
‘I thought I was doing them both a favour. Colt needed someone to vent to and Blaser didn’t need any excuse to get deeper. The last thing I wanted to do was fall in with the criminal element of our family. We have cousins who are pretty deep in organised crime.’
‘Weren’t you pretty deep?’
‘I guess, but I justified it to myself. I told myself it wasn’t as bad, that I wasn’t really doing anything wrong,’ Ruger said. ‘If we try hard enough, we can convince ourselves of anything.’
‘Yeah, I guess we can.’ It had been easy for her to dismiss her fears about the man watching her and that had come back to bite them. In every relationship, she convinced herself that the relationship was doomed, even when it was going well.
‘Convincing yourself to buy this place though, that’s a decision I approve of.’
Relaxing into a smile, Layla didn’t correct his assumption that she would go from leasing to owning the property. ‘Good.’
Losing his mouth in her hair, he asked, ‘Does my mom know about this place?’
‘Yes,’ Layla said. ‘Colt, Lyssa, Blaser, Bri, Suzette, everyone knows.’
‘I’m so proud of you for doing this. My mom will have customers banging down your door to get an appointment.’
‘So now that my future is in the bag,’ she said, not ready to commit either way to anything in her future just yet. ‘What about yours?’
His chest expanded then shrank when he exhaled a long breath. ‘I was up in my warehouse while I was away, picking up a few things.’
‘You have a warehouse?’
‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘I had to keep the merchandise somewhere.’
‘Did being there make you nostalgic?’
‘The opposite, to be honest. I feel ready to close that chapter and move on, I’m just not quite sure how to do that, or how I want to make it happen.’
‘When the chance presents itself, you’ll know what to do.’
‘It might have already.’
Tipping her head back, she noted his curious expression. ‘Are you going to expand on that?’
‘Not yet, I have to talk to a guy first. If it works out, then I’ll clue you in.’
She couldn’t exactly object to that because she had done the same with her decision to rent the apartment and salon. If they were going to be together then they both had to work on making joint decisions rather than working alone.
‘So, can we stay here?’ she asked, making an effort to include him in decision-making, though she would argue if he didn’t give her the response she wanted.
‘Ashcroft’s men are closing in,’ Ruger said. ‘If Colt gets hold of Rushe then we can—‘
‘We don’t need Rushe,’ she said, elevating a hand to his cheek, to stroke and soothe. ‘We can handle this.’
‘In any other situation I’d appreciate your optimism,’ he said, frowning when she flinched at his use of the last word. ‘I don’t want to take any chances with your safety. If anything happened to you, Jansen would never forgive me.’
‘Are you still doing this because you owe my brother a favour?’ she asked and when his palm cradled her hand, he smiled.
‘No.’
‘Didn’t think so,’ she said. Slapping her hands onto his chest, she balanced her weight and bounced up to straddle his lap. ‘Did you tell him about us?’
‘It didn’t exactly come up in conversation,’ Ruger said and with a smile she shook her head.
‘Are you afraid of my brother?’
‘In my defence, I didn’t actually see your brother. I met with Serendipity.’
‘Do you think he’s ok?’ she asked. It was unlike Drew to delegate dangerous tasks to his girlfriend. Either her brother was wounded or he trusted Ruger more than Layla had realised.
‘I think he’s fine,’ Ruger said. ‘They have more dangerous threats in their neighbourhood than me. Me, Rushe, and your brother have faced down some pretty nasty characters.’
‘You’re a very honourable man, Ruger.’
‘It’s a rare quality for men in my line of work.’
‘Former line of work,’ she said, pressing closer. ‘Now you have to start thinking about your future.’
‘I’m thinking to about ten minutes in the future,’ he said and the lazy movement of his presumptuous smile made her take hold of his face.
‘Oh, yeah, and what do you see?’
‘There’s a bedroom through that wall, right? I see you, me, nakedness, there’s lots of panting and ru
tting.’
‘Ten minutes, huh? Plan to spoil me with foreplay, do you?’
‘We can watch the previews after the movie,’ he said, throwing his arms around her.
‘That kind of defeats the point,’ she said, clambering to catch hold of him when he propelled up onto his feet.
‘This is going to be at least a double feature,’ he said, carrying her through to the bedroom.
‘Only if I enjoy the first showing.’
‘You’ll enjoy it,’ he said, kicking the bedroom door out of the way. ‘This performance will be tailored for your pleasure.’
His promises of pleasure guaranteed oblivion and that’s what Layla needed, to be a woman with a man, lost in the haze of the night. Lovers lost in the dream of forever without uttering words of confirmation.
The bed had yet to be tested, but when he collapsed down onto the mattress, it held. That spoke nothing to how it would hold up when a guy the size of Ruger pushed it to its limit. His lack of concern about the furniture—and every other drama in their lives—bled into her until she was loose, pliant and up for just about anything.
Kissing her neck, he linked their fingers and raised them to each side of her head to give himself a lever point. When he pushed his weight away from her, Layla looped her legs around him to try and tempt him into bringing it back.
‘Let’s take our time,’ he whispered into her ear and went back to pampering her with his mouth.
Layla didn’t feel like taking things slow tonight. The passion was an outlet for the worry she’d held for Ruger while he was out of her sight and the concern she still had for her brother.
‘This was a great idea,’ he said, splaying his hands on her hips and skimming them upward under her top to slip it up over her head.
‘The apartment or the sex?’ she asked.
His smile descended to her mouth and he answered her by teasing her tongue. Letting his slick, rough muscle dive into her mouth, the speed of his kiss increased. While matching his pace, her own smile grew.
‘You want me,’ she teased, sucking his tongue as she pulled back from their oral union.
‘You need me to draw you a diagram?’ he asked, brushing her hair away from her forehead and matching her cocky expression. With a quick kiss, he pounced off the bed and shirked his top then his jeans. When he was naked, he opened his hands at his sides, putting himself on display for her. ‘Does this help? Or do you need a flowchart?’
‘You’re a bastard,’ she laughed. Sitting up, she grabbed his wrist in one hand and his dick in the other to pull him down on top of her.
Seizing his mouth, she warmed him back to his fervent pace and managed to finagle her way out of her clothes while he was distracted by her mouth. Returning her hand to his engorged member, Layla rolled her thumb around and over his head and began to hum.
Licking her lip, Ruger kissed her chin then took his mouth to her ear. ‘The next part is where it gets really interesting.’
Still with a smile on her face, she turned her head to find his mouth and kissed him before she spoke. ‘Show me,’ she murmured, meeting his eye.
Parting her legs, she tilted her hips, and he let her guide him inside. He was teasing her, yet allowing her to take control of their bodies.
Adjusting to his size wouldn’t take her long tonight, but adjusting to how her heart swelled at the sight of this man’s smile would take a lot longer. Ruger wasn’t like any man she had ever known, but trusting him could only come after she learned how to trust herself.
Chapter Sixteen
Ruger put Layla into Colt’s office in Risqué for the second night in a row. He had to give her credit for not complaining. Bringing her to Risqué was necessary, because all of the players he had to talk to were here. He didn’t like that Ashcroft’s men knew about this building, not only because of its connection to Layla, but its connection to his brothers, his family.
Blaser wasn’t at the bar. Crystal informed Ruger that his older brother was upstairs in his office. So after settling Layla in Colt’s office, Ruger went to the next room, and walked in on Blaser and Dax in the middle of a game of pool.
Blaser’s office was the largest, which made sense as he ran the place. To the left of his office, behind a now open curtain was a pool table, one the brothers frequently used to break the intensity of awkward conversation. Ruger assumed that Blaser and Dax were using the game for the same purpose now.
‘Am I interrupting?’ Ruger asked though he came into the office and closed the door without intention of backing out. He had to talk to Dax and he didn’t mind Blaser being present to hear his offer.
‘Could be,’ Blaser said. ‘What do you need?’
‘I’ll leave you guys to it,’ Dax said, propping his pool cue on the wall.
‘Actually, it’s you that I have to talk to,’ Ruger said, much to Dax and Blaser’s intrigue.
‘Really?’ Dax asked. Widening his stance, he folded his arms. ‘Ain’t I feeling the brotherly love tonight, what is it?’
‘I’m warning you now, Ruge,’ Blaser said, leaning over the table to take his shot. ‘Dax charges a fortune if you want him to beat the crap out of someone.’
‘No, I have an offer that will lead to him paying me,’ Ruger said. Dax’s expression didn’t flinch, but Blaser stood, and with an outstretched arm, he leaned on his cue.
‘Really?’ Blaser asked. ‘Now I’m intrigued. There’s no chance of me giving you guys privacy.’
‘You hear about what I did up in Jersey?’ Ruger asked and Dax nodded once. ‘I have a warehouse, just outside Atlantic City.’
‘Yeah,’ Dax said in monotone.
‘I need it empty,’ Ruger said. ‘There’s a hefty fortune in there.’
‘What’s that to me?’ Dax asked. ‘I’m no fence.’
‘No, but you’ve got connections in this part of the world. I figure you’d know some people who might be interested in taking that merchandise off our hands.’
‘Our hands?’ Dax asked.
‘I’ll give you twenty percent of whatever you make.’
‘Twenty percent?’ Dax asked, one corner of his mouth quirked. ‘I could make more than that in a night doing something I’m a lot better at than playing salesman.’
‘You sold drugs, right?’ Ruger asked and all good humour left the room. ‘You dealt with some shady guys and sold a far riskier product to men more inclined to screw you over to take said product off your hands.’
‘What do you know about it?’
‘I made some calls today,’ Ruger said. ‘And it’s no secret that Suzette has issues with your wife. She repeats pretty much everything she hears.’
With pursed lips, Dax inhaled, but Ruger wasn’t concerned for Suzette’s safety. Ivy and Suzette might not get along, but after checking on the Harrow couple, Ruger was confident that Dax wasn’t the type to hurt women.
‘What the hell you doing checking up on him?’ Blaser asked, crossing past Dax to face off with his brother. ‘If you need information about my friends, you come to me. You don’t go poking around in their business.’
‘I know people who can find out things,’ Ruger said. ‘People I trust.’
‘Why not ask them to do your dirty work?’ Dax asked.
‘I didn’t do anything you wouldn’t have done when it comes to protecting your interests,’ Ruger said. ‘And I offered full disclosure to show you trust, to develop trust. You would’ve thought less of me if I ran in blind, wouldn’t you?’ When Dax relaxed, Ruger was assured that he was right. ‘I don’t want anyone knowing that I’m getting out of the game until I’m gone. You know how it is.’
‘If you need help, you come to family,’ Blaser said to Ruger, but got no reply.
‘How much stuff are we talking about?’ Dax asked.
Ruger would never ask Blaser to get involved and he was glad that Dax was of the same mind, as was betrayed by both men completely ignoring Blaser’s comment.
‘Close to a million maybe,’ Ruger s
aid and Dax’s brows arched. ‘Depends on who you know and how much they’re willing to pay. I can give you my book and tell you who might want what.’
‘Why the hurry to get rid of everything?’ Dax asked.
Ruger had to give the guy credit for being wary. They weren’t close and Dax probably hadn’t done any homework on him… yet.
‘I’m ready to move on,’ Ruger said. ‘And as you might have noticed, I’m dealing with family matters at the moment.’
‘Let me look into it before I commit to anything,’ Dax said. ‘I’ll need to do some checking of my own.’
‘I understand,’ Ruger said. ‘The offer is there. When you’ve made a decision, give me a call.’
Most of the criminals Ruger dealt with were mid to low level crooks. Dax wasn’t in that sphere, at least he hadn’t been. When Ruger had started asking around about Dax, he was shocked to hear just how deep in the criminal underworld he had once been. Blaser was a stickler for his tenants and employees abiding by the law and while Dax might fit that bill now, it hadn’t always been the case.
Dax put his cue back in the rack on the wall. ‘I’m going downstairs to check in.’
Ruger didn’t need to hang around now that he’d put his plan to Dax. ‘I’m going to head off,’ Ruger said to Blaser. ‘I stashed Lay in Colt’s office. I think she’s getting sick of the sight of the décor in there.’
‘Hold up a sec,’ Blaser said. Dax glanced back at his boss and then left the office.
‘What’s up?’ Ruger asked.
Blaser wasn’t the type to make a scene for no reason and he could cut to the chase with the best of them, so Ruger wasn’t left wondering about his brother’s motives for long.
‘I want you to take over here,’ Blaser said.
‘Take over what?’ Ruger asked, not following his brother’s implication.
Blaser bent over the table to take another shot and since Dax had departed mid-game, Ruger went across to retrieve a cue. If he was going to be here anyway then he might as well make the most of it.
‘Risqué.’
His assessment of the table would have to wait because as Blaser rose, so did Ruger’s attention. ‘Excuse me?’
Game Of Risk (Risqué #3) Page 18