by Косюн Таками
"It really is. I can't believe it. I thought we'd never see each other again. In this...horrible..."
Yoji gently brushed his hands through Yoshimi's hair while she cried. "It's going to be all right now. We'll stay together no matter what happens."
Yoji's words sounded reassuring and tears came gushing out from her eyes. The rules only allowed one survivor, but I get to be with the one I love most. There was something about a time limit, but we'll just stay together until time runs out. If someone attacks us, Yoji will protect us. Oh God tell me I'm not dreaming.
Yoshimi remembered everything that happened between them since she met Yoji in their second year, when they ended up classmates. That special autumn day, when they bumped into each other on the street and decided to go to a movie together, then Christmas, then the strawberry shortcake they ordered and split at the cafe, that night's kiss, New Year's, dressing up in a long-sleeved kimono for the first temple visit (the sacred lot she drew was only "fair luck," while his was "very good luck," and he gave her his), and the unforgettable Saturday, January 18th, the night she spent at Yoji's house.
"Where have you been?" Yoshimi asked.
Yoji pointed to the group of houses. "In a house over there. But you know this collar... if I stay there, it's supposed to explode. So..."
Yoji looked serious, but Yoshimi thought it was funny. They were right near each other! She'd been wondering ever since the game began where could he be, only to find out he was right nearby....
"What's up?"
"I was hiding in one of those houses too. We were probably right next door to each other."
They laughed. Yoshimi realized how wonderful it was to share a laugh with someone you loved. It might be considered trivial, but no, it was essential. And now it was hers once again.
Yoji slowly let go of Yoshimi. His eyes suddenly fell on her right hand. Realizing she was still holding the gun, she burst out, "Ha ha ha. I forgot.... "
Yoji also smiled. "Nice weapon. Look what I ended up with."
He showed her what he'd been holding. She hadn't noticed it at all. On closer look, she saw that it was a dagger, the kind you might see in an antique store. The strip of thread wrapped around the grip was worn out, the oval-shaped guard had turned greenish blue, and as Yoji revealed by pulling the dagger out of its sheath, the blade was spotted with rust. Yoji returned the blade to its sheath and tucked it in his belt.
"Hey, let me check that out," Yoji said.
She offered the gun to him. "You hold onto it. I doubt I can do much with it... "
Yoji nodded and took the Colt .45. He held the grip and checked the safety. He pulled the slide, revealing the first bullet in the chamber. The hammer was still cocked.
"You have bullets for this?"
The gun's cartridge was fully loaded. Yoshimi nodded, took the box of bullets out of her day pack, and handed it over to him. Yoji took it with one hand, opening it up with his thumb to check the contents. Then he tucked it into his uniform pocket.
All of a sudden...Yoshimi couldn't believe her eyes. She was completely clueless as to what was going on—as if she were watching some baffling magic trick—as she looked at Yoji's hands.
Yoji was pointing the Colt .45 at her.
"Yoji?.. "
After repeating his name, she saw how Yoji had become a different person.
His face was contorted. The thick-lashed eyes, the large hooked nose, his wide lips, each part of his face looked the same as before, but she'd never seen this expression with its twisted mouth, revealing its teeth.
The contorted mouth spat out these words, "Go away. Get out of here!"
Yoshimi didn't understand what he meant.
Yoji sounded irritated. "I said get away from me!"
Still in a daze, her lips quivered, "Why?"
As if fed up with her, Yoji cried out, "You expect me to be with a bitch like you!? Get out of here, bitch!"
Something inside of Yoshimi began to crumble, first slowly, then quickly.
"Why?" Yoshimi's voice trembled. "Did I...did I do something wrong?"
The gun was still aimed at her. Yoji spat to his side.
"Give me a break. Even I know you're a slut. I know you've been arrested by the cops.... On top of that you slept with a guy old enough to be your dad. I know that too! You expect me to trust a bitch like you!?"
Yoshimi's jaw dropped as she stared at Yoji's face.
It was...true. She'd been arrested several times for stealing, and the police had taken her in once for blackmailing a high school student. And then there was...prostitution. A while ago Yoshimi had slept with some middle-aged men Mitsuko Souma had introduced her to. The money was good, she wasn't the only one doing it, and at that time of her life she was getting so fed up with everything. So wearing makeup she'd never worn, acting like an adult, and being with men who seemed in their own way generous didn't seem like a bad thing. Yoshimi assumed Yoji had known all this about her.
Ever since she started dating Yoji that autumn day, she had put an end to all of that. Of course she continued being friends with Mitsuko Souma and Hirono Shimizu. It wasn't like she was suddenly a star pupil, but she did stop prostituting herself, and she did her best to keep herself out of trouble. And she'd believed Yoji forgave her and loved her anyway.
...that's what I believed all along.
A tear rolled down Yoshimi's cheek.
"I-I stopped doing that." Different tears began streaming down her cheeks. "I wanted to be...I wanted to be good to you, Yoji."
Yoji stared at Yoshimi as if her words had completely shaken him up.
But then his expression returned. "You liar! Stop pretending to cry!"
Yoshimi stared at Yoji with her wet eyes. Words came tumbling out, "Then...then why did you go out with me?" Yoji immediately replied, "Come on, I thought a slut like you'd be easy! Get out of here! Bitch!"
Suddenly prompted by some force, Yoshimi ran towards Yoji. It might have been because she couldn't bear listening to Yoji anymore, or maybe it was because she couldn't deal with the fact that Yoji was pointing a gun at her. "Stop it! Please stop it!" she cried and tried to grab the gun from his hand.
Yoji quickly dodged her and shoved her. The day pack slid off her shoulder down to her left hand, and Yoshimi fell back on the grass.
Yoji pinned Yoshimi down.
"What the hell are you doing!? Bitch! You tried to kill me! I'll kill you, bitch!"
Yoji pointed his gun at her while Yoshimi frantically grabbed his right wrist with both her hands. Yoji immediately shifted the gun from his right hand to his left. Yoji's hand moved slowly downward. To her forehead! Yoshimi felt her heart pounding.
Yoshimi stuck out her hands and cried in desperation.
"Yoji! Please! Please stop it, Yoji!"
Yoji said nothing. His bloodshot eyes glared down at her. His arm came down methodically, like a machine. Five more centimeters...four...three...the bullet could now brush her hair. Two more centimeters, and...
Though she was torn up with sadness and fear, a thought suddenly occurred to her.
She understood everything now. She didn't want to, but it turned out the person she adored was only an illusion. Still...
Still, it was a wonderful illusion. With Yoji, she thought she could start over. It was Yoji who gave her that illusion. Without Yoji she would never have believed it could happen.
Oh, that time we ate ice cream at the only burger joint in Shiroiwa...she had ice cream on her nose and Yoji said, "You are so cute." Even now she believed he'd been sincere.
I loved you.
Yoshimi suddenly relaxed her arms. Yoji cocked the gun and placed it against her forehead. His finger was ready to pull the trigger.
Yoshimi stared back at Yoji and quietly said, "Thank you, Yoji. I was so happy being with you."
Yoji's eyes opened wide and remained frozen, as if he'd suddenly realized something important.
"Go ahead...shoot me."
Yoshimi smiled warm
ly and closed her eyes.
Pointing the gun at her, Yoji began to tremble.
Yoshimi waited for the burning bullet to pierce her head, but the gun wouldn't fire.
Instead she heard his hoarse voice, "Yoshimi..."
Yoshimi slowly opened her eyes again.
They met Yoji's. Through the thin film of her tears, she saw how his eyes were now those of her beloved Yoji. They were even filled with remorse and self-reproach.
Ah—
So he understands—Yoji—is it true? TUNK! It was a pleasant but somewhat strange, damp sound.
Simultaneously, Yoji's right finger pulled the trigger. But it was on accident, the result of his finger's reflex. The gunshot exploded like a firecracker and made her shriek, but the muzzle had already been pointed away from her, and the bullet lodged into the patch of grass above her head. A tiny cloud of dirt rose in the air.
Yoji's lifeless body fell on top of Yoshimi. He remained motionless.
As she tried to pry herself loose, she saw someone smile over the shoulders of Yoji's black school coat. It was her old partner in crime, Mitsuko Souma.
Yoshimi had no idea what was going on. She only knew that the smile on this angelic, adorable, beautiful face absolutely terrified her.
Mitsuko asked Yoshimi if she was all right as she grabbed her hand and pulled her out from under Yoji's body.
Yoshimi staggered to her feet in the bushes and looked down. An extremely sharp sickle (a sickle! as one of the more urban girls in Shiroiwa, Yoshimi had never seen one before) was planted in the back of Yoji's head.
Leaving aside the sickle for now, Mitsuko immediately went for the Colt .45 in Yoji's right hand. His muscles had tightened, so she had to pry each stiff finger loose. The gun was finally in her hands, and she grinned.
Yoshimi looked down at Yoji's lifeless body, trembling. She was trembling violently. Uncontrollably. In one flourish she had just lost someone incredibly important to her. It was like the sensation she had when a precious glass ornament she had as a child accidentally fell and shattered on the floor. But...this was far more precious.
Yoshimi came to her senses and looked at Mitsuko (of course she had been looking at her all this time, but she was too incapacitated to process this visual information), who proceeded to wrestle with the sickle to dislodge it from the back of Yoji's head. She gripped the handle with both hands and tried shaking it loose, swinging Yoji's head along with it. "No!.. "
Yoshimi screamed and shoved Mitsuko aside. Mitsuko fell back onto the grass, exposing her well formed legs, from the hem of her pleated skirt up to her thighs.
Yoshimi shielded Yoji's body. The sickle was still planted in his skull. Her tears fell onto his body. The sickle was telling her: shaking me won't revive me, don't shake me, there's a sickle stuck in me, man, that hurts.
Her chest tightened with waves of remorse. She felt as if she were drowning, as if the world were coming to an end.
She thought of the cause behind all of this, and her tear-stained eyes glared fiercely at Mitsuko. If looks could kill, her glare would have. Yoshimi couldn't care less now what kind of game this was or who her enemies and allies were. That's right. If anyone was her worst enemy, it was Mitsuko Souma, who'd killed her love. "Why'd you kill him!?"
The words sounded empty to Yoshimi. She felt as if she had become a hollow bag in a human shape. But the words came pouring out. The human body could do strange things.
"Why! Why'd you kill him!? It's horrible! It's just too awful! You're evil! Why'd you have to kill him!? Why!?"
Mitsuko contorted her mouth in an expression of dissatisfaction. "You were about to get killed. I saved you."
"No! I got Yoji to understand me! You're so evil! I'll kill you! I'll kill you! Yoji understood me!"
Mitsuko shook her head and shrugged, pointing the .45 at her. Yoshimi's eyes opened wide.
And so Yoshimi heard the dry pop one more time. Her forehead felt as if it were being crushed by a car. That was all.
Yoshimi Yahagi fell onto the corpse of her beloved Yoji Kuramoto and remained motionless. The .45 caliber bullet had demolished the back of her head. But her mouth remained open as if she were screaming and blood came flowing out from its side. It soaked Yoji's school coat, oozing out into a dark patch.
Mitsuko lowered the smoking Colt .45 and shrugged again. She'd planned on using Yoshimi to shield her from bullets.
She leaned over and whispered into the ear of Yoshimi's half-destroyed head, "I'm sure he understood." There was a strange topping of gray jelly brains and blood on her earlobe. "I killed him because it looked like he wasn't going to kill you after all."
Then, once again, she proceeded to pry loose the sickle from Yoji's head.
25 students remaining
31
The faint sound reached Shuya and the others. Shuya looked up. Then they heard it again. They waited, but that was it. They only heard the rustling sound of treetops deep inside the thicket shaking in the wind.
Shuya looked at Shogo, who was sitting next to him.
"Was that a gunshot?"
"That was a gunshot."
"Then someone's already..." Noriko began to speak, but Shogo shook his head and responded, "We don't know for sure."
They had all remained silent for several minutes, but the gunfire prompted discussion.
Shogo spoke up, "Look, as long as you trust me, it's cool but...like I said before, we have to survive till the very end. So I just want to make sure." Shogo looked over at Shuya. "Are you willing to be merciless against the enemy, Shuya?"
Shuya swallowed deeply. "You mean the government?"
"Including them, yeah." Shogo continued, "As well as your other classmates, if and when they attack us."
Shuya nodded slightly and then answered, "If that's what it comes down to, I will." His voice sounded feeble, though.
"Even if the classmate was female?"
Shuya's lips tightened as he looked back at Shogo. He looked down again. "If I have to I will."
"All right then. As long as we're on common ground." Shogo nodded and grabbed the shotgun resting on his crossed legs. Then he added, "Someone else will finish you off if you get too hung up on every person you kill."
Shuya was about to say something but hesitated. He decided it was best not ask, but couldn't stop himself from blurting out, "So you were merciless a year ago?"
Shogo shrugged. "I killed. You want to hear the details? How many guys I killed? How many girls I killed until I won?"
Noriko crossed her arms over her chest and brought in her elbows.
"No...forget it." Shuya shook his head. "That's pointless."
They fell silent again. Then Shogo said, as if offering an explanation, "I had no choice. Some of them lost their minds...and then some were willingly killing as many as they could... Most of my friends died pretty quickly, and I didn't have any time to hook up with anyone. And I-I just couldn't offer myself up and get killed by someone." He paused and added, "I also had something I had to do, so I couldn't die."
Shuya lifted his face. "What's that?"
"Come on, it's so obvious." Shogo smiled a little, but his eyes glimmered fiercely all of a sudden. "I was going to tear up this fucked up country, this country that tosses us into this fucked up game."
Watching Shogo's lips tremble in anger, Shuya thought, he's just like me. He wants to bring down these assholes in charge of this game, these assholes who won't think twice about making us play this fucked up game of musical chairs, this game of mutual fear and loathing. He wants to send them to hell just like me.
Or maybe...Shogo mentioned in passing he'd lost his friends early on, but I bet he lost someone equally important as Yoshitoki was to me.
Shuya thought of asking him about this, but didn't.
Instead he asked, "You said you'd done a lot of studying...so that was for this purpose?"
Shogo nodded, "That's right. I would have done something against this country eventually."
"Like what?"
Shogo only grimaced. "I wonder." He shook his head. "It's not so easy bringing down a system that's already built up. But I would have done something. Well no, I'm still going to. That's why I have to survive this time too."
Shuya looked down at the revolver and looked up. Another question had occurred to him.
"Can you tell me something?"
"What?"
"What's the purpose of this game? How could this serve any useful purpose?"
Shogo's eyes widened...but then he looked down and began to chuckle. He found it funny. Then he finally said, "There is no purpose."
Noriko raised her voice. "But they insist it has some military purpose."
Shogo kept on smiling and shook his head. "That's just crazy nonsense. Of course this whole country's insane, so maybe it's completely rational."
Shuya felt a rush of anger once again as he spoke, "Then how could this go on for so long?"
"That's easy. Because there's no one speaking out against it. That's why it's still going on."
Seeing how Shuya and Noriko were at a loss for words, Shogo added, "Look, this country's run by a bunch of idiot bureaucrats. In fact you have to be an idiot to be a bureaucrat. My guess is that when this lovely game was first proposed—some crazy military strategist probably came up with it—there was no opposition. You don't want to stir things up by questioning the specialists. And it's terribly difficult to end something that's already been established. You interfere, and you're out of a job. No, worse yet, you might be sent to a forced labor camp for ideological deviation. Even if everyone were against it, no one could say it out loud. That's why nothing changes. There are a lot of screwed up things in this country but they all boil down to the same thing—fascism."
Shogo looked at Noriko and Shuya. He added, "You two, and the same applies to me, we can't say anything. Even if you think something's wrong, your life is too precious to risk it by protesting, right?"
Shuya couldn't say anything back. His hot flash of anger all of a sudden went cold.
"It's shameful," Noriko said.
Shuya looked at Noriko. Noriko looked down sadly. He agreed. He felt the same way.