by JS Taylor
“I’ll meet you in our room,” I say to Tammy and George. “I’ve just got to make a call.”
“No prizes for guessing who’s called you,” says Tammy, rolling her eyes affectionately. “That smile’s gonna split your face.”
“Don’t be long,” warns George. “We don’t want to be late for the video briefing.”
“Just a minute,” I promise, as they head up the stairs to get changed.
I wait until they’re entirely out of view, and then permit myself a silly little shudder of delight as I press to pick up voicemail.
I’m pleased no-one can see me. Just the thought of hearing Adam’s voice is exciting.
Jeez Summer, I mentally chastise myself, you got it bad.
The voicemail connects, and a male voice begins speaking.
But it isn’t Adam.
I freeze, the phone held tight in my hand.
“You stole my song,” hisses a hate-filled voice. “I know where you are, and I’m gonna make you pay Summer.”
I wait for a long moment, dazed with horror. It’s only when I finally remember to breathe, that I realise my fingernails have dug into my palm.
I move the phone slowly away from my ear. My whole body feels cold, and my stomach is churning.
I recognise the voice.
It was Dez. My ex-boyfriend.
Chapter 4
“Shit, Summer.” Tammy’s face is filled with anxiety. “Dez. Are you sure?”
My heart is still racing from pelting up the stairs to tell Tammy and George about the phone call. I knew they’d understand my fear. Dez is a man who always fulfils his threats.
“Of course I’m sure,” I say miserably. “And I have no idea how he got my new number.”
Tammy chews her lip, and looks at the ground.
“Does Adam know?” she says finally, “about Dez?”
“He knows I have an ex who wasn’t so nice,” I say, remembering a tipsy admission at the party last night. “He doesn’t know… What Dez was really like.”
“I thought Dez was going to leave you alone,” says George.
I shake my head.
“I just changed numbers and moved where he couldn’t find me. I thought if I waited long enough… He wouldn’t care anymore.”
Tammy and George share uneasy glances.
“Summer,” says Tammy gently, “Dez isn’t the kind of guy who forgets.”
“What exactly did he say?” asks George.
“He said I stole his song,” I say. “And he’s gonna make me pay for it.”
George frowns. “What’s he talking about?” she says angrily. “Dez never wrote any music. He just made connections with drug dealers and piggy-backed on your talent.”
“The song was about him,” I say miserably. “Girl Missing was about me leaving him. Regaining myself.”
My voice has dropped to a frightened whisper. Just the sound of Dez’s voice on the phone brought it all back. The fear when I was around him. The way I felt about myself.
You’re shit. You’re nothing.
It wasn’t hard to work out Dez’s twisted logic. That he’d think he had a right to my song. And that was what frightened me the most. That I’m not as far removed from his mindset as I’d like to think.
Just one message. It all came back.
“Summer, enough,” says Tammy firmly, catching my haunted expression and taking my shoulder. She fixes me with her kind brown eyes. “You’re not that girl anymore. You’re not the little mouse I met when you were still with Dez. Ok? You left him.”
“Yeah,” I say uncertainly.
“And who cares if the song is about him?” continues Tammy. “That’s just bullshit. You can write about what you want. He doesn’t own the copyright on your relationship.”
“He can’t even prove it’s about him,” adds George.
“That’s not how he thinks,” I say miserably, remembering Dez’s out of control possessiveness. “In his mind, our relationship is his property. He thinks he deserves some kind of credit for the song.”
“Tell him to go fuck himself,” snorts George, who has only heard of Dez second-hand.
Tammy, who met him with his gangland friends, is less sure.
“Just ignore it,” she advises. “We’ve got good security here. There’s no way he can get to you. It’s just intimidation.”
“Are you going to tell Adam?” asks George.
“No!” the words fire out far quicker than I meant them too. “I just… I don’t want Adam to know,” I mumble.
The truth is, I want to live in my dream world for a little longer. Without things being tainted by who I really am.
I know I’m standing on a burning platform. Adam will find out about me soon enough. He won’t stick around. But my heart can’t take that right now. I’m in too deep, and I’m disgusted with myself.
I never should have fallen this hard so fast.
I breathe out hard, trying to chase away the words, which are suddenly churning up in my mind from long ago.
You’re shit Summer. You’re nothing.
“I’ll just… Do what Tammy says,” I decide, trying to make this sound sensible. Though I know that when Dez gets angry, he doesn’t forget. “I’ll ignore it,” I say trying to make my voice sound breezy.
“Atta girl,” says Tammy, smiling uncertainly. “Come on,” she adds. “We’ve got a video to make.”
But the cheery note in her voice isn’t convincing.
Chapter 5
I’m silent in the car to the studio, trying to figure out the best course of action. Part of me knew my happiness couldn’t last. These last few days with Adam. I can’t remember being happier. And now it’s all turned to shit.
I don’t know what’s going to happen with Dez. But I know it’s going to be bad. If he’s managed to get hold of my new number, then he’s serious.
“Don’t worry Summer,” says Tammy, pressing my hand. “It will all be fine. Ok? You’re over all that now.”
“Thanks,” I nod sadly, trying to muster a smile.
I should be happy. We’ve got through to the next round, and we’re about to start recording a music video. But all kinds of fears are playing on my mind. I know how spiteful Dez can be. In my worst thoughts, he might do something to hurt Tammy, or George. Or Adam.
I close my eyes, forcing the thoughts away.
You left him Summer. He can’t hurt you anymore.
When we arrive at the studio, Jenny Grogan is ready to meet us. She’s her usual immaculate self, in a tailored suit, and blonde hair lacquered to within an inch of its life.
“Ok girls,” she says loudly, her Australian accent ringing along the corridor. “You can take five for an hour or so. We’re still setting up for you.”
George purses her lips but says nothing. Tammy and I are used to waiting for everything to do with music. So we take it in our stride.
“Head into the café,” adds Jenny, indicating. “Grab a coffee. Have a chat. I’ll come get you when we’re ready for you.”
We head towards the café as instructed, and George complains the entire way.
“I thought things were supposed to get better now we’re through,” she huffs. “It’s the same old shit. Things not being ready.”
“Maybe they’re making sure things are extra good for us,” suggests Tammy.
“Yeah,” I say, forcing myself to join the conversation in a bid to shake off thoughts of Dez. “We’d rather they were late and ready, wouldn’t we?”
“I suppose so,” sighs George.
My phone beeps in my pocket, and a knot of fear tightens in my stomach. Tammy catches my expression, and then delves into my dress and yanks out the phone.
“No Summer,” she admonishes, waving the phone, “this is not how it’s going to be. You’re not going to let that low-life scare you away from your own ringer.”
I give her a weak smile, and take the phone. And when I see the caller, my acted smile broadens to a real one.
Adam!
Quickly I pick up.
“Hey,” I say breathlessly.
“Hey gorgeous.” Adam’s voice sends a hot shiver down my spine. “I need to see you. Turn right just before the café.”
“What?” I’m grinning now. Am I going to see him before the video?
“Take the right-hand corridor,” he clarifies. “Tell the girls you’ll be back in an hour. I’ll be waiting for you.”
“Ok,” I breathe, a little dizzy at the prospect of seeing him so soon. I hang up, and turn to Tammy and George.
“Let me guess,” says George. “Lover boy is stealing you away?”
“Um. Yeah,” I say, reddening a little. “Just for an hour. While we wait for the video.”
“Well have fun,” says Tammy. “Don’t be late back.”
“You sure you don’t mind?” I say.
They both shake their heads with certainty.
“Of course not,” says George. “It’s only an hour. You’ve fallen head over heels for Mr Hot Pop Star. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t have left his apartment this morning.”
“Thanks,” I say, smiling. The café is up ahead now, and I see the right-hand corridor Adam meant. “I’ll catch up with you guys later. This is going to be a great video,” I add, feeling a sudden surge of optimism.
Maybe it will be ok after all.
“Ok love bunny,” smiles Tammy. “We’ll see you on the other side.”
Chapter 6
I leave the girls heading towards the café, and swing a right. The corridor is long and completely empty.
Almost as soon as I’m alone, my rush of optimism evaporates.
If Dez can get my phone number, then what else can he do? There’s no way this is just going to go away.
I follow the corridor around a corner and along. But there’s no-one here. I’m starting to think I made the wrong turn, when Adam steps out in front of me.
“Hey baby,” he smiles. “You made it then?”
I rush into Adam’s arms. Right at this moment, I need comfort. I’m so happy to see him.
“Hey,” he says, stepping back a little from the force of my greeting. “Are you ok?” he frowns, pulling back slightly to see my face.
“Yes,” I lie. “I’m just pleased to see you.”
“Are you sure?” he asks. “You sound different.”
I nod, burying my face in his chest. Breathing him in seems to push away all the horrible thoughts of Dez’s message. Like he’s a calm space.
I sigh, feeling the safety of him envelop me. I feel so completely secure in his arms, that suddenly, Dez really doesn’t seem to matter anymore.
“Come here,” says Adam, moving me gently back. “Look at me.”
I face him, and now I feel calm. Happy.
“I’m fine, really,” I say. And this time I’m telling the truth. “It’s just a surprise to see you. A nice surprise,” I add quickly.
Adam pauses and then his face accepts my words. He pulls me close, kissing my mouth.
“I couldn’t stay away from you,” he says, speaking through kisses. “I needed to see you. The thought of waiting until this evening... I couldn’t stand it.”
I respond to his kiss, letting my mind empty of anything but him.
His hand strokes the side of my face.
“I’m stealing you for an hour,” he says, looking deep into my eyes. “I’m taking you on a lunchtime date.”
“You are?” I’m grinning at him.
Right now, I can’t think of anything nicer.
“Where are we going?” I ask.
“Ah,” says Adam. “Well now. You remember last night, you told me you thought London was all busyness and hustle?”
“Um, yeah,” I say, feeling a little embarrassed at the admission. It’s true, I’ve never really adjusted to London. But I must have sounded like a proper country bumpkin. Adam seems to know London like the back of his hand.
“Well, I used to be the same,” he says.
My eyes widen. “You did?”
I absolutely can’t imagine this. Adam seems at home everywhere.
“Yep,” he says. “Completely. When I came from Ireland I couldn’t work out why no-one would talk to me. I’d strike up conversations with people on buses, and they’d look at me like I was mad.”
I laugh. “You’re kidding?”
“No.” He takes my hands. “But then I settled in, and learned the ways of the city. So I thought to meself. How can I make my little Summer see there’s more to London than rude people?”
I smile at the description of me as ‘his little Summer’.
“I don’t know,” I say, “how can you?”
“Well,” he says slowly, “London isn’t just busy streets you know. You might have noticed, there’s a big old river winding through it.”
He pauses, waiting for my reaction.
“And that river runs past this studio,” he adds.
“We’re going out on a boat?” I guess, excited. I’ve seen boats cruising up and down the Thames and always thought it looked like fun.
“That’s right,” says Adam. “I’m taking you out on my yacht.”
“Your yacht?” I’m beyond impressed.
“Don’t get too excited,” he warns. “It’s not one of them fancy big motor cruisers. It’s just a little sail boat really. But perfect for the two of us to take in a bit of London.”
“If it’s your boat, I’ll love it,” I promise, meaning every word. “Let’s go.”
Chapter 7
Adam leads me along a riverside pathway behind the studio. We reach a tiny wooden jetty, leading to a white boat with a big sail.
It’s not enormous, but there’s plenty of room on deck, and a little cabin which looks to be well appointed. The perfect sized boat, I decide, for two people.
“This is it?” I say excitedly. “This is actually your boat?”
“I told you the boat wasn’t much,” says Adam. “But she serves my purposes.”
“She’s beautiful,” I say. “I’ve never met anyone who owns a boat before.”
Adam laughs.
“Well now you have,” he says. “I’ve got a few more mind. But they’re out in the US and France.”
“You’ve got three boats?”
“Ah, five actually,” he says, handing me onto the bobbing craft. “This is the smallest. But she’s kind of my favourite. As a boy I used to go fishing with my brothers on a little boat. This kind of reminds me of that.”
A dark shadow seems to pass over his face at the mention of his brothers. I consider pressing him about it, and decide later would be a better time.
“Oh.” I step carefully onto the boat, considering this. “Does the boat have a name?” I ask.
“Of course,” says Adam, moving to help me board. “All boats have to have a name. They have spirits you know.”
“Do they?” I laugh.
“Be careful on that part,” says Adam, manoeuvring quickly to steady me. “It can be slippy.”
“So what’s the boat called?” I ask, allowing him to catch me in his arms and guide me on.
“She’s called Muse,” he says. “After the goddesses of music.”
I raise my eyebrows at him.
“Not named after a saint, or a prophet?” I tease. “Surely that’s not how a good Catholic boy names a boat?”
Adam grins. “Boats belong to the water. They need special names to capture their wildness. That’s why they’re always female,” he adds, looking at me.
“Oh yes?” I tilt my head, flirting with him.
“Rivers and oceans are like the perfect woman,” says Adam, his eyes sparkling. “Beautiful, captivating, mysterious. But you gotta always treat her with respect. Because every woman has a dangerous side.”
I’m smiling at him now.
“Is that so? Even me?”
“Oh, especially you,” he nods. “That’s the mistake most men make. They think wicked women are the most dangerous.”
/>
I steady myself on his strong body, as we stand on the bobbing boat.
“They’re not?” I ask, heady in his proximity.
“No,” he says. “It’s the good women you have to watch.”
He glances at me.
“You stand between a good woman, and someone she loves, and you’d better watch out. She’s the most dangerous thing living.”
“Is that so?” I turn this image on myself.
It’s true I am fiercely loyal. I’d lie in traffic to protect people I love. But dangerous? I can’t see that.
“How do you know I’m not one of the wicked women?” I ask.
Adam laughs. “Because I wouldn’t have to work so hard to bring out your wicked side. And believe me Summer, we’ll get there.”
I feel my face growing hot.
His voice changes. “Believe me Summer,” he says. “You’re one of the good ones. I’ve seen some situations. I’ve got a knack of knowing how people will turn when a crisis hits. And you’re a fighter.”
I blink at him, wondering how he could possibly know this, when I don’t truly know it about myself.
“When the shit comes down, you’d be surprised who comes out swinging,” continues Adam. “I’ve learned to know. I’ve seen girls fight their way past armed soldiers, when men are running. Never underestimate the power of a woman’s love.”
He looks at me intently for a moment, and then looks away, as though regretting saying so much.
“In any case,” he says, his voice losing its former intensity, “a boat needs a name to reflect its mystery, as well as its joy.”
“You sound like a poet,” I say, stepping uncertainly behind him.
“Well, The Muse calms me down, in the busy city,” he explains, steadying me, “and I do a lot of my songwriting out here on the water. So I guess she brings out my lyrical side.”
“I thought you had an urban childhood,” I say, as he releases me onto the swaying deck. “Where does the love of boats come from?”
In my mind, Adam’s background is Belfast buildings. But on board the boat he moves with such grace and ease, he could have been born at sea.