‘And you do?’
‘All the time. When I was here, I was sure I should be out there,’ he said, giving a little nod as if encompassing the whole of the world with it. ‘And when I’m out there, I feel I should be here.’
‘That’s not going to be easy to solve. Unless you clone yourself.’
‘Already done that,’ he said. ‘In fact, Nick Mark Two has been absent without leave for some time now. Let me know if you see him, won’t you?’
‘Two Nicks? I’m not sure I could cope with that.’
‘Very funny.’
They walked around the field and it wasn’t long before they gave in to the temptation to throw a few snowballs at each other, laughing and screaming as Harley bounced around them. They started with small ones, the size of the palms of their hands, but the snowballs got progressively bigger until they were scooping up armfuls of the stuff and flinging it at each other.
‘Stop, please stop!’ Rowan cried at last.
‘Declare me the winner then!’
‘Not a chance,’ she said, scrunching another handful of snow and pelting him with it.
He laughed. ‘Okay. You win. I’m knackered.’
‘Lightweight.’
‘We’ll declare a truce.’
Laughing, they left the field and made their way back home. Nick cleared the doorstep of snow and they both stomped their boots on it.
‘Rowan?’ he said to her just as she was about to open the front door to go inside.
‘Yes?’
‘I’ve really enjoyed talking to you.’
She smiled. ‘Me too. With you, I mean.’
‘Even if you do cheat at snowball fighting.’
‘Hah!’ she said, play-thumping his arm. ‘We’ll see about that.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Yes.’
‘Same time tomorrow?’
‘If not before.’
‘I’ll hold you to it.’
*
The days between Christmas and New Year – those wondrous secretive days where the world seemed hushed and everyone kept to their own little family unit – passed in a blur of eating, drinking and playing. Ancient games from the cupboard in the sitting room were brought out. The chessboard was dusted off, Connect Four matches were set up, there were Scrabble tournaments, card games and a lot of good-tempered arguments over the Hungry Hippos.
It was sometime during this period that Rachel stopped wishing she was alone at the cottage with Paul, and Bryan stopped asking when his guests were leaving. They had become their very own version of a family.
‘Dad, have you still got the old sledge?’ Nick asked after losing spectacularly at chess to Rachel.
Bryan frowned. ‘It’s in the shed, I think.’
‘Fantastic.’
The sledge, which was a wonderfully old-fashioned one made of wood, was dragged out and dusted off and the five of them, with Harley in tow, took it up to a large sloping field at the end of the village. They weren’t the only ones with the same idea because there were families aplenty there, with kids in bobbled hats screaming and valiant parents dragging sledges back to the top again so the whole experience could be repeated over and over again.
‘You going to have a go, Dad?’ Nick asked.
‘It was all I could do to make it to the field,’ he said, ‘and I’m not risking breaking anything else this year, son.’
Nick nodded. He’d thought his father would say as much and part of him was relieved, but he thought he’d give him the option.
There then followed an hour of chaotic fun as the sledge was shared between Nick, Rowan, Rachel and Paul whose cries of joy mingled with those of the other sledgers. Bryan cheered them on, clapping his hands at their antics and even chucking a few snowballs at them which Harley tried to catch as they hurtled down the hill.
Rowan couldn’t remember a time when she’d had more fun. She had all but forgotten her ex and she couldn’t help acknowledging the fact that she was becoming rather fond of Nick.
‘Your cheeks are all pink!’ he said to her as they left the field and walked home.
‘Yours are too,’ she told him.
‘That was fun.’
‘Yeah. And to think I was quite happy to spend Christmas on my own. Well, not happy really, but that was my choice.’
‘Sometimes, we don’t always know what’s best for ourselves.’
‘Do you feel like that?’
He took a deep breath and exhaled a wonderfully visible plume into the winter air. ‘I used to think getting away from this place would be good for me. It has. I mean, I got my degree and my flat and my job and that’s all been brilliant. But I definitely left a big piece of me in these hills.’
They looked at each other in understanding.
‘Come on, you two!’ Bryan shouted and Rowan realised that she and Nick had been left behind.
*
Maybe it was the fact that there was nothing else to do in the middle of a Cumbrian village in winter or maybe it was simply that they actually got on. Whatever the reason, Rowan realised that she liked Nick. She liked walking with him, talking with him, sitting reading a book with him. If she hadn’t been forced to spend Christmas with him, she’d never have believed it.
It was she and Nick who took Harley for his walks every day. They were the ones who returned to the snowy field with the sledge when the others made their excuses and stayed inside by the fire. So off they went, pelting each other with as many questions as snowballs and, as New Year approached, Rowan couldn’t help feeling deeply unsettled.
‘When do you go back to work?’ she asked Nick as they were washing up together after tea one evening.
‘The third of January,’ he said. ‘But I’ll travel down the day before. The roads might be bad and it could take me a while.’
‘And you’re taking Harley?’
‘As much as it pains me to, but I don’t think Dad’s strong enough yet. Especially not walking in all this snow and ice.’
‘Harley adores him.’
‘Yeah, it’s been wonderful seeing the two of them together although, in a way, I wish I hadn’t. It’s going to make it so much harder parting them. When are you back at work?’
‘The second.’
‘That’s tough.’
‘Rachel and Paul too.’
‘Work’s such a drag.’
She laughed. ‘It’s what pays for the holidays, though.’
‘True and we should start planning the next one. As soon as the snow thaws, I want to get back up here. We could walk around Buttermere together,’ he said, ‘and Grasmere, ticking off the pretty views, and Friar’s Crag on Derwentwater. Did you know Ruskin said it was one of the best views in England?’
‘No, I’ve never heard that,’ she said, her mind too fixed on the fact that he was talking about the two of them as a “we”.
‘Well, we’ll start there. Then we’ll warm up with Catbells at Easter. Nice and easy. And then Blencathra. Take a picnic to the top and admire the view. Then we’ll tackle Striding Edge come the summer.’
Rowan shook her head. ‘Oh, no. I’m not going over there. I’ve seen the photos!’ She shuddered as she remembered the pictures of the treacherous top and knew that it would really test her skills as a hill walker to get across it. It most certainly wasn’t for those who favoured an easy afternoon stroll in the valleys.
Nick put down the tea towel and gave her his full attention. ‘But, if we go up Striding Edge, it’ll give me an excuse to hold your hand,’ he told her.
She looked up into his clear grey eyes. ‘You don’t need an excuse,’ she told him and she felt quite sure that they would have kissed if Paul hadn’t come barging into the kitchen wanting to know if there were any dry roasted peanuts left.
CHAPTER 9
It was New Year’s Day and it hadn’t snowed for a couple of days. The plan was for Nick to drive the others back to the cottage so they could pick up their cars which meant that Rachel, Rowan and Paul had to say their go
odbyes to Bryan.
‘I’ll be back later tonight, Dad, all being well,’ Nick told him. ‘I’ll take Harley so you don’t have to worry about him.’
‘You take care on those roads,’ Bryan said. ‘You’ll need Harley to keep you warm if you break down.’
‘The roads are clear,’ Paul told them. ‘I’ve been listening to the traffic news.’
‘Good. Good.’ Bryan Madden was standing uneasily in the door of the living room. It was Rachel who finally got things moving.
‘I’m going to miss you, Mr Madden!’ she said, coming forward and flinging her arms around him. ‘I never thought I’d say that, but I will!’
‘And I you, lass.’
‘Really?’
‘I think so.’
She laughed as Paul held out his hand to shake Bryan’s. ‘Good to see you again.’
‘You too, lad,’ Bryan said. ‘Don’t be a stranger.’
‘I won’t.’
And then his attention turned to Rowan who looked as if she didn’t quite know what to do. ‘Now, I want to see you again too, Rowan. Penrith isn’t far. You’ll come and visit us, won’t you?’
Rowan’s anxious face broke into a beautiful smile. ‘I’d love to,’ she said and Rachel frowned. She knew that Rowan was getting on well with Nick, but hadn’t that just been a case of making the most of a bad situation? Rachel had just assumed that this holiday would be the end of her sister having anything to do with the Madden men.
There was slightly more room in the back of the car this time because Rachel had told Bryan that he could keep the Christmas tree and all the decorations as he needed them more than she did and it would give her a good excuse to buy new decorations for next year. But Harley was still sitting between her and Rowan, and Rachel was keeping an eye on her sister, aware of the little looks Nick kept flashing at her in the rear view mirror. She wanted to tell him to keep his eyes on the road which was still pretty treacherous, but she didn’t want to interrupt whatever might be going on between the two of them.
Reaching the cottage at lunchtime, they lit the wood burner and cobbled together a quick lunch of soup and bread followed by an every-man-for-himself dive into the tin of chocolates Rachel had brought with them. It was a subdued affair because each of them knew that the end of the holidays was approaching. Nick was heading back as soon as he’d given Harley a stretch and Rowan would be leaving too, driving back to Penrith, whilst Rachel and Paul would spend one last night at Fell View.
After the dishes had been cleared away, Rachel grabbed Rowan and the two of them hid away in the kitchen together. It was the first time they’d been able to talk alone since leaving Keswick.
‘It there something you want to tell me?’ Rachel asked her sister.
‘Like what?’
‘Like all the little glances you’ve been sharing with Nick, and you going back to Keswick to see Mr Madden. Is something going on between you and Nick?’
She watched as Rowan’s eyes gazed down to the floor and a dreamy expression crossed her face.
‘I think I’m falling in love,’ Rowan said at last.
‘Who with?’
‘Nick, silly!’
‘But you hate him!’
Rowan shook her head. ‘Not really.’
‘Good heavens! When did this all happen?’
Rowan shrugged. ‘Somewhere between Christmas and New Year.’
‘I saw you two were getting pally, but I didn’t expect this.’
‘Neither did I,’ Rowan confessed.
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘Because I wasn’t really sure what was happening myself.’
‘But he’s leaving in a minute. What are you going to do?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘And why you wasting time talking to me?’ Rachel said. ‘Go on – get outside,’ she said, physically pushing her sister out of the kitchen.
Rowan laughed, but she didn’t need to be told twice.
*
‘Hey, Rowan!’ Nick called as soon as she walked outside the cottage. ‘I’m just taking Harley up to the tarn before heading off. Want to join us?’
‘Sure,’ she said casually even though her heart was thudding in her ears.
The two of them walked side-by-side along the track that led to the wood and up the hill towards the tarn with Harley trotting ahead of them. Rowan was reminded of the first time she’d seen the dog and how she’d thought he was a wolf. How long ago that day seemed now and how much had changed since then.
The snow was still quite thick in places and the tarn was completely frozen over, its surface a glorious silvery-blue. They stood looking out across it and gazing up into the sky which was a startling shade of blue today and looked more like a summer sky than a midwinter one.
‘I’ve been thinking,’ Nick said at last.
‘Oh?’
‘With Dad in Keswick and you in Penrith, I don’t think I can ignore the pull of the Lake District any longer.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean, I need to relocate.’
Rowan frowned. ‘But what about your job?
He gave a shrug. ‘Doesn’t matter as much as you and Dad.’
Rowan couldn’t quite take in what he was saying although his words were exactly what she wanted to hear because she couldn’t bear the thought of Nick leaving.
‘Nick, are you sure? I mean, you worked hard to get where you are now in your work.’
‘But I’m not my job. My job’s a big part of me, but it’s not the most important part. Being here with you and Dad this Christmas has helped me to see that. I want to be here. I need to be here.’ He looked down into her eyes. ‘Rowan – say something.’
‘I – I’m anxious. This is a huge decision and we’ve only just met.’
‘I know, but I feel pretty sure about you. I’ve never felt more sure about anyone in my entire life. And Harley loves you. And Dad likes you too and that’s saying something!’
Rowan couldn’t help but laugh at that. ‘And I really like him and I love Harley.’ She bent to stroke the dog’s thick soft fur. He’d sat down right between the two of them as if he didn’t want to be left out of whatever was going on.
‘And me?’ Nick said. ‘How do you feel about me?’
Rowan took a moment before she answered, thinking about the time they’d spent together over Christmas – the walks and the talks, the snowball fights and the sledging, the little glances they’d shared and the confidences too. There was only one real answer she could give to his question.
‘I think I’m falling in love with you,’ she whispered.
Nick’s hands reached out to cup her face. ‘Thank goodness for that,’ he said, ‘because I think I’ve been in love with you since our first kiss at the wedding, and I’ve been dreaming about kissing you again ever since.’
Rowan closed her eyes against the blue of the sky and the white of the snow, feeling all the warmth and love in their kiss. How sweet it was and how wonderfully unexpected to be in the arms of a man she’d once hoped she’d never see again. It was a miracle. Her very own Christmas miracle.
ONE YEAR LATER
When Nick had told Rowan that he’d persuaded Rachel to let them have the cottage for Christmas, Rowan couldn’t have been happier. She could think of nothing more romantic than snuggling up to Nick in the cosy little home, and here they were now, cuddling on the sofa with Harley at their feet and a fire blazing in the wood burner.
There were Christmas decorations all around the cottage’s living room. A red berry wreath hung on the back of the old wooden door and strings of fairy lights shone along the dark beams. Tea lights flickered along the mantelpiece and a huge bunch of mistletoe had been tied to a hook in the beam. There was also a little Christmas tree in the corner of the room decorated in red and gold baubles and old-fashioned children’s toys made out wood and painted in brilliant primary colours. Rowan had insisted on having a tree. Of course, there was a full-sized one at
Bryan’s house in Keswick where they’d be spending Christmas Day. Rachel and Paul were joining them there too – at Bryan’s invitation.
‘Might as well have the lot of you,’ he’d said, a tiny smile tickling the edges of his mouth.
Rowan was really looking forward to Christmas Day at Bryan’s again. Nick was living there now. He was managing a new branch of s company in Carlisle and business was good and he’d told Rowan that his time in London was done although he had the occasional trip to the capital to touch base with head office. And how much fun had they had since he’d moved back to Cumbria in the spring? They’d done all the walks they’d talked about including a hike across Striding Edge where Nick had kept his promise to hold Rowan’s hand every step of the way. Bryan had even joined them on a couple of the easier walks around Ullswater and Buttermere as his ankle was now completely healed.
‘I’ve got a lot of catching up to do,’ he’d told them both.
Nick had been thrilled to see his father out in the hills he loved so much.
‘Fancy a walk?’ Nick asked Rowan now. Harley’s tail immediately started thumping.
‘I’ve just got nice and warm by the fire,’ Rowan said.
‘I’ll keep you warm,’ Nick said with a grin. ‘Don’t you worry about that.’
She smiled right back at him.
They pulled on their thick winter coats and boots before leaving the cottage. The ground was iron-hard under their feet with patches of ice all around. It was a good excuse to hold hands. Not that they needed an excuse these days.
Instinctively, they made their way towards the tarn. It was their special place. Was there a more beautiful place in the world, Rowan wondered? There might be warmer places, sunnier places, drier places, but there probably wasn’t a more beautiful one.
Rowan often wondered where she’d be now if she hadn’t decided to spend Christmas at the cottage last year. She certainly wouldn’t have been here with Nick now, would she?
‘You don’t regret leaving your job and your life in London, do you?’ she asked him as they walked around the tarn, a shaft of sunlight turning the ice into a sparkling wonderland.
The Christmas Collection Page 19