She instantly decided, not even an hour after they’d returned from the pool, that her personal desires for her younger brother weren’t right, and what she had done was the worst thing she could ever do in this situation.
As the older sibling, she had to be the responsible one. She had to do what was right, not only for Aidan or their family, but for herself, too. It had to stop now or it would quickly get beyond the point of no return—if it hadn’t already.
She watched as he arched a cool black brow with unmistakable arrogance, yet he was waiting for an answer. For all his outward cool, she knew he was, inwardly, about to go off. With Helmut having arrived, she knew she had to defuse the situation—or, better said, defuse Aidan.
She was frowning now, too; upset he was deliberately being an ass. And yes, perhaps hating it that it was expected of her to do the right thing when her heart and body wanted nothing more than the opposite, telling her that was the right thing.
She was so confused . . .
“Yes, Aidan. As I always do on Saturdays.” She smiled as warmly as she could. “Like you always go out on Saturdays, too, right?”
But he wasn’t about to give up that easily.
“I thought maybe we could stay in tonight. You know?” He shrugged. “Listen to some CDs up in your room.” Then he stared tightly into her eyes sending her a message in NEON. “Or down in mine.”
She damn well knew if she’d stay home with him, the CDs wouldn’t be played for their entertainment. They’d be used to drown out certain sounds their parents, or anybody else for that matter, should never be privy to. But his whole attitude, alpha male or not, only strengthened her resolve to nip this in the bud.
Although she now resolved herself to maintain a cool and aloof demeanor; to slowly pull back from the abyss staring at both of them since things were getting a little too crazy now, she felt her confidence crumbling piece by piece.
And although she also realized she loved Aidan more than she could ever love another man, he just wasn’t for her. Fate had dealt them a bad hand when they were adopted into the same family. He was too young to understand this could have dire consequences for him once the “new and exciting” wore off and reality set in.
She was also very aware that she was FIVE YEARS OLDER than he was. Nothing good could come out of this, so before either of them invested more in a dead-end relationship that could have unforeseen, detrimental consequences for them both, she understood they had to pull back quickly.
But it was clear to her, too, that Aidan wasn’t exactly on the same page, and this might not be as easy to defuse as she’d hoped. He made it perfectly clear he wanted to continue. He was hell-bent even!
She only realized just how tenacious he was when she saw the way he looked up at her earlier when she climbed the stairs hoping her legs wouldn’t collapse beneath her. He was looking up at her with sparkling eyes of love and possession even if they were born out of this new and exciting adventure he hoped to embark on. She knew she had to stop this insanity. Not for her sake, but for his.
So, in lieu of clear-headed reasoning on his part, it was up to her to do the right thing; to nip this in the bud and to go their separate ways as unscathed as they possibly could. And while she was thinking about all of this, he was studying her face, probing her emotions and thoughts.
His potent blue eyes were zeroed in on her to the point that she couldn’t look up into them anymore. She blushed and felt self-conscious, and she finally averted her face while sneaking a few uncomfortable glances down the hall where Helmut stood profiled to them. Then she saw him raise his blond head to watch them with a slight but contemplative frown.
“Can you give us a minute, Helmut?”
“Sure,” he said with an uneasy smile. “I hear your parents in the kitchen. I’ve got to say hello, anyway. Call me when you’re ready, okay?”
She smiled. “Okay.” And then she watched her boyfriend nod to Aidan before he left the hallway and disappeared into the living room.
Geeze. Helmut might not be the most exciting guy she’s ever met, but he was kind, generous, and predictable. He was easier to handle, too. Not to mention, he was older than she was AND . . . he wasn’t her brother.
“Well?” Aidan pressed.
She returned her gaze to him, and she felt her cheeks burn. “Well . . . what?”
He sighed loudly and rolled his eyes. His jaw was showing an impatient tic, but she knew it had more to do with Helmut being there than anything else. He always had that tic when her boyfriend was around.
“Look,” he began as his gaze latched on her uncomfortable face, “I don’t understand why you want to go out tonight when you can be here with me, Dionne. I just think you owe me an explanation because I’m getting really confused here. We’ve got a lot of unresolved . . . issues we need to talk about. If you leave now, I think it’ll be real cowardly of you, and—”
“—Cowardly?”
“Lower your voice unless you want everyone to hear what’s going on between us—”
“—Nothing’s going on—”
“—I wasn’t finished,” he stressed.
“Yeah, you are. We are,” she said, and she saw him go stiff as his blue eyes sparked. “Look, it should have never happened—”
“—But it did. And it was what we both wanted—”
“—What’s wrong with you?” she finally blurted, albeit beneath her breath. “Why are you being like this?”
“Like what?”
“Like, difficult,” she whispered, upset.
“You know damn well. Stop acting like you don’t,” he gave right back.
His intense—and fiery—look made her drop her eyes. Then she sighed, but it wasn’t a sigh of exasperation. It was a sigh of despair.
“Aidan,” she lifted her gaze, “I’m sure you don’t doubt how much I love you, but what happened this afternoon,” she paused, “it never should have. Please know I’m well aware it’s not your fault. I was the one who gave the wrong impression, and as the older sister, I should’ve —”
“—Give me a break, Dionne,” Aidan sighed with a dark frown. He tossed up arms. “Do I look like an idiot to you?”
“No! Of course not—”
“—Do I look like I was born yesterday, then?” He arched an angry brow.
“I really don’t know where you’re going with this.”
“I know fake,” he said. “I’ve done fake. What happened this afternoon,” he shook his head, “that wasn’t fake. That was real even if you don’t want to admit it. What you’re doing now is fake. You want me as much as I want you, so why in the hell are you fighting it? I don’t understand.”
“It’s hard to explain,” she said desperately.
“How about you begin by explaining to me what happened in the time between the pool and you rushing up to your room? Why don’t you start there instead of calling up your little HelBUTT boyfriend so you can be a coward and not have to face what we both know is gonna happen?”
She felt her temper rise, and she was certain he saw it, but as she fought from unleashing that temper—while struggling to maintain a calm tone of reasonability—her body was stiff all over and her fists were balled at her sides. He was goading her, not even trying to hide the cocky, cynical gleam in his eyes! And to add insult to injury, he arched an impatient and arrogant brow.
“Well?”
“Aidan, you need to be reasonable—”
“—I don’t want you going out with him, Dionne,” he said. Unreasonably.
She blinked big eyes in surprise. Her brother has always been pretty possessive in just about everything. And to her surprise, and secretly, her feminine flattery—which she dutifully squelched, of course—he was being so now.
Then she saw that brief flash of pain in his eyes just before he lowered his thick, long, lashes. It was then when she understood why he was so cranky and bossy. It was because he was hurt, and he was afraid she was going to do what she was planning to do: break u
p with him.
What he didn’t understand was that it was for his sake, not hers.
“Aidan—” she tried softly.
“—I mean it, Dionne,” he bluntly interrupted. “You’re not going out with him tonight, or any other night,”
She stiffened. Damn it! It wasn’t easy for her, either, but his machismo was beginning to grate on her already frayed nerves. He was really obnoxious, and her charitable mood was quickly dissipating.
“Excuse me?” she huffed, glaring up at him. But her stern look, one that used to fluster and put him back in his place in the past, clearly lost its effectiveness now because it failed to impress him.
“You heard.” He looked terse.
She had to work really hard NOT to smack him. Her palms positively itched with an itch she’s never known before this mess happened. She studied his face a moment, assuring that the pain she saw in his angry blue eyes was still there, and she held on to that in order to calm her own raging emotions. She told herself he was acting this way because he was hurt.
“You’re being really unreasonable, Aidan—”
“—Kind of hard NOT to when all I can see is his cock in your mouth—”
“—Now you listen to me Aidan Boyd van Nuys,” she hissed with red cheeks and narrowed eyes. “You STOP this—” but that was as far as she could get.
Aidan whipped an arm around her and snatched her to him. In the next instant, he crushed his lips over her shocked mouth, stunning her into silence. Sly bastard that he was, he shut her up and simultaneously wiped, whatever she was thinking, from her mind with a powerful, ravenous, and somewhat painful kiss that instantly set her on fire.
As she felt her body go up in flames, she felt a much too familiar, much too dangerous heat moistened her chaste pussy, and her hands grew a mind of their own. They swept up and curled fingers tightly in the loose folds of his soft cotton shirt.
She was dizzy and on fire, and she leaned heavily against his body because she knew if she didn’t, she’d fall. Although reason screamed for her to make him stop, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Instead, she kissed him back with the same fervor he was kissing her with.
Her brother’s arms slipped around her, pulling her against his wonderful, hard body while gently encouraging her to come even closer, and she wanted nothing more. Somewhere, far away, she heard a soft, sensuous purr and moan, and she realized she was the one making it . . .
After what seemed an eternity, he broke the kiss leaving them both out of breath. Warm, soft gusts of harried breaths fanned their lips, and with their faces just millimeters from one another, he made the first move as he looked down into her glowing eyes.
Even though she could see it bloated his pride to have her speechless and on fire for him—and she’d normally explode into indignant rage seeing that kind of conceit were it another place and time—she remained silent, letting him have this moment while she scrambled her scattered thoughts together.
It wasn’t only because it felt so good to be in his arms, against his body, or because it felt so incredible and exciting to her. It was partly because of her feminine pride that she didn’t leave him unaffected, either. She could feel the bold outline of his beautiful, hard cock burning through their clothes against her.
She felt as if a wave of fire swept her away, and she let herself go with it. It was as if they were in a vacuum and alone in the world. Everything inside her rose to meet him as she lifted a hand and touched his smooth, taut cheek. She gazed quietly up into her beautiful brother’s equally stunning eyes, wanting nothing more than to give him everything he wanted even though she knew how dangerous it could be to herself . . .
Then he bent his dark head to rest against her shoulder as his arms tightened and pulled her tighter against him. Her arms curled around his body, and she was sure he could feel how she trembled, but that was okay. He was trembling, too.
“Tell me now you don’t feel the same things I feel, Dionne. Tell me now, you don’t want me,” he whispered before he pulled back and looked deep into her eyes. “Because you know, deep down inside, you’ll only be lying to yourself.”
She made a concerted effort to do just that. Lie. If that was what it would take for her to get him to understand this wasn’t good for either of them, she would do it. But as she opened her mouth to do just that . . . she couldn’t utter a sound.
The words that had carefully lined up in her mind, disassembled and scattered the moment she saw the power of his love in his handsome face. Then she saw his expression flood with relief as the tension he felt inside dissipated when he saw she couldn’t deny it.
“I don’t want you to go out with him,” he repeated, but this time with a gentle, aching tone. “I want you to stay here. With me.”
Then she saw something in his beautiful blue eyes she thought she would never see there because she was sure he was incapable of housing less than macho confidence. He was actually looking . . . vulnerable. Vulnerable and insecure.
Aidan? Vulnerable? Insecure?
“Aidan,” she began, “please understand . . . I just can’t tell him to go when he was so looking forward to cruising Pacific Coast Highway tonight—”
“—Then tell him you’re sick,” he said curt with an impatient frown. And back was that machismo. But then he lowered his lashes in his hard face and took a deep breath before he lifted his sad eyes. “Please Dionne?” he now murmured his plea as his arms moved lazily over her back. “Stay in with me tonight.”
She looked up with big, glowing eyes and she could feel her lips trembling with anticipation; longing, wanting, and begging even if she didn’t know she was experiencing all these things on a conscious level.
But he saw it, and he answered when he leaned his head down and kissed her.
By then, reason was rapidly returning, seeping through the hot haze of her lust. It helped her gather what little willpower she had left, and by the time Aidan’s lips traveled down her throat, she found the willpower to quietly turn her face away.
His reaction was instantaneous. He immediately stiffened. He was surprised and hurt. And then, he was infuriated.
“Don’t,” he whispered, curt. His tone was authoritative, instantly snapping her out of her sexual delirium. “Don’t ever turn your face away from me again, Dionne.”
With those words he unknowingly gave her exactly that what she needed to tear herself free of his spell. Indignant, her own temper ignited, giving her renewed strength to fuel the last embers of her waning will before it returned, bursting into full, indignant flame.
The negativity she felt by his commanding, even cocky tone—one he’d never used with her before—washed over her like a giant wave. In the next instant, she shoved his arms down and off her as she stepped back. A battle of wills ensued with both siblings refusing to give another inch.
“Then don’t do anything to make me,” she ground out, losing her cool too easily, but even in that state, she knew she’d already invested too much of herself because she felt it in every fiber of her being.
“I wasn’t the one who started it,” he pointed out.
“I’m sorry—” she paused. “I’m sorry for what happened this afternoon. It was a mistake. I should’ve never let it get this far.” She wouldn’t be intimidated by his stony face or glare. “I’m much older than you, Aidan, and I should’ve known better than to do what I did. I can’t explain why—“
“—You know why.”
“—But it was a bad choice and a bad mistake.” Then she gave him a firm and determined look. “It ends now, Aidan. We can’t do this. I’m still your older sister and you’re my younger brother, and that’s how it’s gonna stay, because that’s just how it is.”
Then she turned to march out of the hall with what little dignity she had left.
“The hell it will!” he snapped, and with a single step, caught her by her arm, but she snatched it free.
She snapped around now blasting him with furiously glowing eyes. She sa
w it took him by surprise, and it even made him flinch!
He was, finally, rendered speechless.
“I mean it, Aidan,” she ground out through clenched teeth. “Get it through your thick skull that not every girl you set your eyes on wants you, okay? Get it through your thick skull I’m not one of those “new and exciting” girls you can play around with and—”
She stopped short. She spilled the beans, but she was unwilling to give him a peek into more of the turmoil raging inside her. She didn’t want him to see the doubts she had whether or not he was sincere about her even though it looked pretty sincere. But it was all an act, she reasoned, and she needed to remind herself this is how he acted around ALL his former girlfriends, too. To him, she was no different than they were.
But she wasn’t just another girl off the streets. She was his sister. His older sister. As in, five years older, and she was not the type of girl for a brief fling.
“Look,” she resumed with more confidence, “I know it’s hard for you to grasp, since it’s a novel thing to you, but the world doesn’t revolve around you. I love you as my brother. Don’t jeopardize that. If you think our relationship as siblings isn’t good enough for you anymore, then by all means, keep this up and I’ll make sure I don’t burden you with it anymore.”
“That’s the thing, Dionne,” he said cool. “It isn’t enough. It hasn’t been for some time. And I damn well know it hasn’t been enough for you, either. Who do you think you’re fooling? Because you’re not fooling me.”
She narrowed eyes on him. “You really need to get over yourself. I know what you’re doing—”
“—It’s not like I’ve been trying to hide it.”
“—but it isn’t going to work!” she finished, undisturbed. “I’m not like the other girls you’ve been running around town with—“
“—I never saw you that way,” he said quietly, but Dionne was too far gone to hear the gentle sincerity in his tone.
“Just leave me alone!”
And with that, she marched out of the hallway, leaving him behind. The only reason why he didn’t stop her this time was because Helmut reappeared in the hall, drawn by the quibbling, and he looked concerned at her, seeing how upset she was.
Loving Siblings: Aidan & Dionne Page 15