by Alex Grayson
I take my half-empty bottle and carry it into the kitchen. After taking a few more hefty swallows, I set the bottle down on the counter. My eyes swing back to Poppy’s closed door. I need to tell her we need to leave to meet the jet, but if I’m honest with myself, I’m scared to see the look on her face. It damn near broke me before.
Manning up, I walk over to her door and tap on it lightly. She doesn’t answer, but I hear her sniffles on the other side. The pain in my chest intensifies.
Fuck, this hurts!
When she doesn’t bid me entrance, I pull in a deep breath, grab the knob, and push the door open. She’s lying on her side on the bed, her face buried in a bundled up sheet. Knowing it’s the sheet from my bed, my heart jumps at the knowledge she has to be smelling my scent right now. It takes everything in me not to go over, crawl into bed behind her and snuggle my face in her hair. Instead, I walk over slowly, not wanting to scare her. She still has yet to lift her head so I’m not sure if she knows I’m in the room. Her muffled sobs get louder the closer I get, sending sharp stabs of pain to the center of my chest.
My damn hands shake as I reach out and gently place one on her shoulder. Her body stiffens and she jerks away before turning to her back and showing me her tearstained face.
“Fuck,” I whisper hoarsely. My legs are no longer able to hold me up, so I drop to my knees beside the bed.
Seeing her in such agony and knowing it’s my fault is pure torture. I feel like the lowest bastard on the planet right now.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” I tell her in a low voice, dropping my head in shame.
She sits up and scoots back until she hits the headboard. She wipes at her eyes and tries to clear her face, but she’s not able to mask the ache in her eyes. It still lingers.
Still clutching the pillow to her chest, she says brokenly, “What are you doing in here? I told you—”
“I knocked,” I murmur. “But you didn’t answer. We need to leave. The jet will be at the airstrip soon.”
She eyes me warily for several seconds, before nodding and scooting to the other side of the bed and climbing off. She won’t even get close to me to get off the fucking bed.
Helplessly, I stand and follow her out of the room and walk over to the elevator where our stuff waits. When she tries to grab her suitcase and carry-on bag, I wordlessly take them from her. She tries to protest, but with a determined look from me, she backs off and steps into the elevator. She may be pissed at me, and I may be giving her time to come to grips with everything, but that doesn’t mean I won’t act like a gentleman.
The ride down is silent. I keep looking over at her, hoping she’ll look at me and give me some hope that this whole mess can be salvaged, but she keeps her eyes on the doors in front of her. I have no idea how I’m going make it through the next several days. Obviously, I need to remove the cameras from her house and the tracking device from her car. There’s no way I can keep them there now. It’s Sunday, so that means tomorrow is Monday, a work day, but I get the sense Poppy won’t be there. Regardless if she is or not, I’m not giving up. I refuse to believe this is over. There’s no way I’ll ever let it be. She’s clawed her way into my heart and there’s no way she’ll ever be able to get free of me. I won’t ever let that happen.
Once we make it to the tarmac, I lead a still silent Poppy aboard the plane. I greet the new attendant, Devin, glad to be rid of the aggravating Seraphina, and let him know we’re ready to take off as soon as Captain Hayes is ready.
When I walk Poppy to the seats we were sitting in before, she steps away and says, “I’d rather sit over here,” before dropping her purse to the aisle seat and sitting down next to the window, effectively letting me know I’m not welcome. I let her have her space for now, and take the aisle seat across from her. She stops Devin when he walks past and asks for three shots of liquor. I hate knowing she’ll be over there stressing over the flight on top of her hurting over what I did. Devin delivers the shots and she downs them back to back. She keeps her head facing the window, never looking my way.
I pull out my phone when I hear it ring in my pocket.
“You got something?” I ask after bringing it to my ear.
“Some guy wearing a black hoodie was lurking around her place,” Rex’s gruff voice replies. “He moved around to the back of the property. When I went to go confront the bastard, I don’t know if he caught wind of me or what, but he just disappeared. Not a fucking trace of him.”
“Son of a bitch,” I mutter, rubbing a hand over my hair. “We’ve got to catch this asshole. Things aren’t good on my end at the moment.”
“Trouble in paradise?” he asks dryly. I grind my teeth at his smart-ass comment.
“Nothing you need to worry about,” I bark. “You just worry about getting this guy. We’re heading home early. I want two men on her at all times.”
“You got it.”
“And, Rex? I want to see this guy before you turn him in.”
“There won’t be much left when I get through with him, but I’ll leave a few open spots for you.”
Once we hang up, I toss my phone to the empty seat beside me. Looking over, I see Poppy’s head turned my way, eyeing me. I can tell the alcohol has hit because her eyes look heavy. They flicker away from me down to the seat where my phone is sitting. I doubt she heard my conversation because the engines of the jet have already started, but she still looks worried. My guess is my own worry is reflected in my eyes. She looks like she wants to ask me what’s wrong, but she holds her tongue and looks back to the window. I’m glad she doesn’t ask, because I don’t want to lie to her any more than I already have, but I also don’t want to add to her stress by telling her someone was at her place again.
I want to obliterate this guy. He’s fucking with something that I consider mine and that’s something I won’t allow. Poppy is mine to protect, and I’ll do anything to do just that. In general, I’m not normally a violent man, but when you fuck with something that’s mine, well, that’s a different story. Poppy is the single most important thing in my life and there’s no way I’m going to let some sick bastard take her away, harm her, or continue to scare her.
Hayes announces over the intercom that we’re ready for takeoff. Devin comes by to take Poppy’s glasses and to ensure we’re both buckled in. I almost get up to go sit by her, but she seems to be relaxed in her seat at the moment. Her head is tilted back with her eyes closed, but her hands aren’t gripping the armrests like they were on the trip here. I don’t know if it’s because of the alcohol or her mind being occupied on other things, but she’s obviously not stressing over the flight.
I try to keep my mind on other things as well as we ascend into the air, but my eyes keep straying back to her. She hasn’t moved from her position, and I wonder if she’s fallen asleep. I grab my phone and shoot an email to Eric for an update and to let him know we’re headed home early. We were originally going to miss work on Monday, but there’s no sense in it now.
I pull up and answer a few more emails, trying my best to pay attention to what I’m doing, but my attention keeps going back to the silent and still woman across the way. Her head has fallen at an awkward angle and is leaning against the window. It’s a crick in the neck waiting to happen. I unbuckle and slide from my seat. Poppy doesn’t move when I stand beside her section of seats. Leaning over, I see that she did indeed fall asleep.
Even knowing she may wake up and freak out on me, I release her seatbelt. Carefully, I slip one arm beneath her knees and one behind her shoulders, and scoop her up into my arms. She unconsciously snuggles into my chest, and I can’t help the pleasure that it gives me. I give Devin a chin lift, indicating one of the doors at the back of the jet that leads to a small bedroom. He rushes forward and opens it, and I push it closed quietly behind me with my foot. I gently lay her down on the bed, praying she doesn’t wake up. A smile touches my lips as she rolls to her side with an unintelligible mumble.
I stand there and watch he
r for several moments, knowing it’s going to be a while before I can watch her sleep again, before my need to be near her overrules my need to give her space. Now that I’ve touched her as Asher, it’s going to drive me insane not being able to. I sit on the side of the bed and slip off my shoes before carefully lying down and pulling her back against my chest. She doesn’t protest. Even in her sleep, she recognizes her body as mine and mine as hers. Her hair is pulled back into a simple ponytail, leaving her neck exposed to me. My eyes land on the mark I left on her last night. Primal need has me wanting to mark her again, just to remind her who she belongs to. Instead, I lightly kiss the exposed skin. She moans in her sleep and shifts slightly, her hand landing on the arm I have wrapped around her waist. Her ass presses against my cock, bringing it to life. I bite back my groan of pleasure.
This is pure fucking torture, but I know it’s the only way to be close to her. I know I’m courting her anger by being here, but fuck it—I need this. I snuggle my face into her hair and inhale the fruity scent of her conditioner. My arms tighten around her, and I send up a silent prayer that she forgives me for everything I’ve done.
I feel her chest rise with a deep breath before her body stiffens. I wait for her to pull away from me, but surprisingly, she doesn’t. Instead, she stays still and just lays there in my arms. We’ve been here for hours. I felt the shift of the plane descending, so I know Hayes will be announcing for us to put our seatbelts on soon. I don’t want to move. I want to stay here forever.
I take a deep breath and bring up one of the subjects I’m sure she’s worried about.
“I’m going to have someone come by your place tomorrow to take out the cameras in your house,” I say against her neck. “And the tracking device on your car.”
She stiffens more at the reminder of her invaded privacy. I silently curse myself, but know that I needed to let her know to try to ease her mind. I don’t think it works, though.
“How did you get into my house?” she asks with a wobbly voice. I squeeze my eyes shut at her heartbreaking tone.
“The key underneath the potted plant by your front door.” I cringe with my answer, knowing it sounds fucked up. “I took it and made copies.”
I wince when her fingernails dig into my arm, but I’ll take the pain. I’ll endure any pain she dishes out at me. I’m just glad she’s actually talking to me. The silent treatment I was getting before was eating me alive.
She unsticks her nails from my arm and sits up, keeping her back to me as she sits on the side of the bed. I want her nails digging back into my skin. I want her warmth back against me.
“Were you the one that went through my drawer that night?” she asks, her head lowered.
“No,” I respond, my voice hard. Memories of the video feed and what the sick fuck did play havoc on my mind.
I reach my hand out to touch her back, but drop it to the mattress right before I make contact. Her body is rigid as she sits there, and I worry I’ll make her more distant if I touch her again.
It takes her a minute to reply, like she’s weighing my answer to see if she believes me. I don’t know if she concludes that I’m telling the truth, or if she’s choosing to work around my answer.
“Since you had cameras in my place, were you able to see the guy that did?”
“No,” I sigh regretfully. “He must have known about the cameras because he knew just how to avoid them.”
She nods and stays silent. I get up from the bed and walk around it to stand in front of her. I drop to my knees, making sure to keep my distance.
“Hey,” I call, and wait several seconds for her to bring her eyes to mine. When she does, I rock back on my heels at her devastated look. I can’t hold back anymore and scoot forward on my knees until they touch her feet. I reach out with my hand, intent on taking hers that are sitting in her lap, twisting the material of her shirt, but she balls them into fists, preventing me from grabbing them. I drop them back to my thighs.
I look deep into her eyes and say with so much conviction, there’s no way she can’t believe me. “I’m going to get this guy, Beautiful. You don’t need to worry about him. I don’t know what he has planned, but he won’t bother you again.”
Her eyes flicker back and forth between mine, taking in my words. There’s no way I’m letting this guy get to her. From what I saw and the message he sent, I know he has something planned, and it’s not something nice. I may be obsessed with Poppy, but my obsession is totally different than his. Whereas I want to keep her safe, his actions prove he wants to harm her in some way.
She blinks and a single tear leaks out of her eye. All I can do is sit here helplessly and watch it trail down her face. I clench my hands into fists and feel my own eyes gather moisture. I haven’t cried since I was twelve years old and fell out of a tree in my parents’ backyard. This woman literally takes me to my knees and brings tears to my eyes.
“Why?” she whispers, her voice cracking. “Why not just come to me? Why not ask me out on a date like a normal person? Why spy on me? Why lie to me over and over again for a year? Why make me fall for you, knowing that what you were doing would hurt me? Did you even care for me at all?”
“Yes!” I say vehemently. I scoot forward more until my knees straddle her feet, my chest meets her knees, and her legs rub the inside of my thighs. I place my hands on either side of her hips and bring my face close to hers. She sucks in a sharp breath and leans back at my close proximity, but I don’t back down. What I have to say next is too important.
“There’s no way to explain my feelings for you. They’re too strong to put into words and no matter how long I live, it wouldn’t be enough time to show you how I feel. You are everything to me. Every-fucking-thing!” I stress the word. “Every breath I take, I take for you. Every beat of my heart is for you. Every smile I see that graces your face, makes my life shine so bright it’s damn near blinding. Your laugh is the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard. Your beauty outshines even the most gorgeous possessions. My need for you outweighs anything I’ve ever wanted. You are the single most important thing I would give everything up for.”
More tears trickle down her face before she wipes them away. “Then why?”
“Because I couldn’t—”
I’m interrupted when Hayes’ voice sounds over the speaker. I don’t know if what I was about to say would sway Poppy, but I obviously can’t tell her now. I know she’ll have more questions once I tell her why I didn’t come to her in the first place, and I don’t have time. I clench my jaw, pushing back the urge to put my fist through something at the interruption.
There’s a knock at the door before Devin’s muffled voice can be heard. “Sir, we need you both to take your seats.”
I get up from the floor and hold my hand out to Poppy, desperately hoping she’ll take it. It’ll mean I haven’t totally lost her yet. My heart sinks when she just looks at it. Instead, she stands on her own and takes a step away from me.
Letting out a painful breath, I walk to the door and hold it open for her. “Ladies first,” I mutter dejectedly.
She holds her head high as she walks to her seat and buckles herself in. Even knowing I’ve had my fill of whiskey today, I still stop at the small bar, pour myself a shot, and down it before taking my own seat. It doesn’t take us long before we’re touching down. Out my window, I see Benjamin waiting for us by the car. As we make our way off the plane, he walks over and grabs our bags to deposit them into the trunk. It’s a thirty-minute drive to Poppy’s place, so I’m hoping I’ll have the opportunity to talk to her during the car ride. My hopes are dashed when I slide in behind her and see her pulling out a pair of earbuds and slipping them in her ears.
I release a tired sigh. The silence between us is slowly destroying me. I’m trying my hardest to give her time, but being so close to her and not being able to touch or talk to her is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.
All too soon, we pull up to Poppy’s house. I don’t get out of the
car and she doesn’t remove her earbuds. We both just sit in silence, with me looking at her and her looking forward. Tired of her ignoring me, I pull one earbud from her ear. She still doesn’t look at me.
“Poppy,” I say softly, trying to draw her attention to me. “I’d like to explain.”
“It doesn’t matter, Asher,” she says with a hint of attitude. “There’s nothing you can say that will make what you did better. I thought maybe it would… no, I prayed it would, but in the end it won’t change anything. You lied to me, tricked me, and spied on me. You took away my privacy, broke into my house, manipulated my life.”
“You’re right.” I turn to face her. “I did those things, but there’s a reason why I didn’t come to you. If you’ll just let me—”
She holds her hand up to stop me from continuing. I hold my tongue and bite back a pathetic groan at the look in her eyes when she finally looks at me. When I wanted her to fall for me, I never realized how hurt she would be when the truth finally came out. That pain is plain to see right now and it triples my own.
“Just stop,” she pleads. “Let me go. You’ve already caused enough damage. I can’t take much more.”
It’s the devastation in her voice that has me holding back from forcing the issue. I’m not giving up by no means—that will never happen—but I will retreat and wait for another day to finish this conversation. I nod and push my door open. Benjamin is already at the trunk, setting Poppy’s luggage on the sidewalk. She follows behind me as I carry her stuff to her front door. I can tell from her rigid body she’d rather carry her own stuff, but that shit’s not happening.