by Kate Dunbar
“Promises, promises, Trevor.”
He turns to the guy in the ticket booth with a glint in his eye and says, “Two please.”
We’re lucky because there’s no line and we hop on board a few minutes later with a passenger car all to ourselves. I move to sit across from him, but Trevor grabs my hand and pulls me to his side. “Oh no, you don’t. You owe me,” he mutters into my hair.
“It’s not my fault you’re so easily scammed by a pretty girl.” I push against his chest, but he holds on as if his life depends on it. I know a losing fight when I see it.
He’s on me as soon as we’re in the air and away from prying eyes on the platform. His hands burrow into my hair while his mouth crashes down on mine. He reaches with one hand and pulls my legs into his lap, turning me to give him better access. His tongue slides across the seam of my lips, and I open to him, letting our tongues tangle together while my hands hold tight to the front of his shirt.
I slip my hands to the bottom of his shirt, move them under the fabric, and stop right where the beat of his heart pulses under my palm. His heat sears through me.
Trevor drops his head and trails his lips across my neck, sucking on the pulse point before dropping kisses down the exposed skin. My V-neck top like an arrow pointing to the promise land.
One of his hands pulls out of my tangled locks and skates down my arm. He softly cups my breast as his thumb rubs across me.
“Trevor,” I moan, grab his hair, and lift his lips back to my own. Devouring him isn’t an accurate enough description of what happens next when I lift, straddle his lap, and rock on him while we kiss. The friction of him against me wakes the fire in me again.
“Want you,” he gasps into my ear as I move my hands to his belt buckle and suck gently beneath his ear.
“Yes.” I move to undo his belt buckle, all reasonable thought flying out of my head.
“Sabra,” Trevor groans and puts his hand on top of mine, stopping the unbuckling and snapping me out of it. “I can’t.”
“What?” I look around us. We’re almost back to the ground, and all I can think about is feeling him in my hands again.
“I want this. I want you,” he whispers against my lips and lifts my hands, holding them behind my back. “I want these.” He sprinkles tender kisses on the top of my breasts peeking out of my shirt. “But I promised you slow, and I’m going to keep my promises to you,” he proclaims in a stronger voice. “Always.”
He releases my wrists, cups my cheeks with his hands, and kisses me softly before deepening it again. Then he quickly pulls back and sits me back beside him, keeping his hand on my thigh. “Even if it kills me.”
I stroke his cheek with one hand and smile at him, hoping he can see the adoration in my eyes. “You amaze me, Trevor. Every day.” I kiss him hard as our passenger car hits the platform. “Let’s go home. I want to order in Chinese food, snuggle in your arms, and fall asleep next to you. Can we do that?”
He pulls me in for a hug once we get off the platform. “Are you sure? There’s a part three on the beach if you want it?”
“I think I’d rather go home with you and have part three there if you don’t mind?” I grin at him. “I might even have to release the girls and throw on some comfy clothes.”
“With a promise like that, what are we waiting for?” He drags me to the parking lot, and I’m still laughing when we get to his truck. But my laughter dies when he pushes me against the door and crowds my space in the most delicious way. “You know, I’m always happy to help if you need it.”
“I’ll have to keep that in mind.” I wink at him and climb in the truck when he opens the door.
“Your wish is my command.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
“Are you sure you’re good with Chinese?” We pull into my apartment complex and drive around to the parking spots closest to my door.
“Of course.” He swerves into a spot, shuts off the engine, and opens his door. “I’m good with whatever. What do you want to order?” Trevor walks around the truck and opens the door for me, offering his hand to help me climb down.
“I’m kind of in the mood for something spicy. Maybe Kung Pao chicken?” I link hands with him and cross the parking lot. He hasn’t stopped touching me in some way or another all the way home. “Can you handle some heat tonight?”
“Why do I think you’re not talking about—?”
“Excuse me, Sabra Valentine?” Trevor and I stop walking and look at the railing of the balcony outside my front door. Two cops are standing there watching us closely. They are opposites. One has a pale complexion, light hair, and blue eyes, and the other has dark skin, even darker hair, and mocha-colored eyes that evaluate and unnerve me to the core.
“Yes? That’s me,” I say. “Can I help you?”
“We were patrolling the area and thought we would check in on you after the incident earlier this week. But when we came to your door, we found something. We’d like to discuss it with you to be sure it’s nothing. Can you come up here, please?” Tall and built, the police officer pulls his hands from his sides and rests them on top of the railing. What I see in his hand, standing out starkly against his dark skin, stops me in my tracks and knocks the air out from me.
Three yellow roses.
No.
“Sabra? What’s going on?” Trevor’s voice floats to me, but it sounds like it’s coming from far away. “Sabra?” He turns me toward him and places both hands on my upper arms.
“What?” I blink rapidly at him and try to clear my head.
“Why are these police officers here? What’s happening?” He stares at me in confusion.
But I can’t worry about that right now. The two cops continue to watch us, waiting for me to say something. I grab Trevor’s hand, pull him in the direction of the stairs, and begin to climb. “I’ll explain everything later. I promise.”
Trevor grunts in response and continues to take each step beside me. We take the last stair, and the blond officer holds out his hand. “Hello. I’m Officer Dowden, and this is Officer Toliver. We’re sorry for taking you by surprise. I’d gather you’ve had enough surprises this past week.”
“Yes, it’s been quite eventful.” I stare at the flowers in Officer Toliver’s hand. “What is this about?”
“I’d like to know the same thing,” Trevor mutters beside me.
“I’m sorry. Who are you?” Officer Toliver looks Trevor up and down and holds his hand out to him.
“Trevor. Trevor Collins. I’m a friend of Sabra’s.” He takes the hand offered to him for a quick shake. “And I think I’ve missed something.”
“He’s my boyfriend,” I say lamely and look at them all.
“Your boyfriend?” Officer Dowden asks. “There was no mention of a boyfriend in your file. All the information given to us made a point to mention you were single.”
“It’s new,” I say quickly. “It—”
“What she’s trying to say is it became official a little bit ago,” Trevor jumps in to help. “I’m sorry. What is going on?”
“We were patrolling through the complex tonight because of the vandalism case from earlier this week and wanted to look at the hallway again since this is where it happened. We thought we’d do a quick check-in on Miss Valentine while we were here.”
“Wait. The vandalism occurred here?” Trevor turns to me and scrunches his eyebrows. “Are you in trouble, Say? Why didn’t you say something to me?”
“I didn’t want to worry you. I’ll fill you in when we get inside. I’m sorry.” I turn my attention back to the officers. “You said you found something that concerned you? What did you find?”
I know exactly what they found. I can see them shining out of Officer Toliver’s hands like a beacon of light trying to blind me.
“We weren’t sure if we should be worried or not honestly.” Officer Toliver’s eyes bore into mine. He’s looking for anything to be wrong, and it’s unnerving. “Now that we know you have a boyfriend, may
be it’s nothing, but these yellow roses were sitting on your doormat.” He rubs his free hand over the top of his head looking sheepish.
Officer Dowden jumps to his rescue and says, “They seemed out of place, and we thought we shouldn’t be too careful after the incident. I’m sorry if we frightened you.”
“Here, these are apparently for you.” Officer Toliver tries to hand me the flowers and looks at Trevor. “Sorry to spoil the surprise.”
“Those aren’t from me.” Trevor glances in my direction, and both officers turn to look at me again.
“I don’t know who they’re from,” I say. “But I don’t want them.”
“That changes things,” Officer Dowden mutters. He pulls out a pad of paper and pen from his shirt pocket. “Do you know who they might be from?”
“No, but this isn’t the first time I’ve found yellow roses on my doorstep or my car.” My voice shakes, and I squeeze my hands together in front of me.
“What?” Trevor raises his voice. “Why is this the first I’m hearing about it?”
I square my shoulders and look him in the eye. “I didn’t want to worry you. I thought it was nothing.” A tear escapes my left eye. “Besides, what if they were from you, and you were trying to be sweet and romantic or something? I didn’t know what to do.”
“Trust me, sweetheart, if I’m going to do something sweet and romantic for you, you’ll know it’s me. I like the payoff.”
“You’re absurd.” I glare at him.
Officer Toliver clears his throat, effectively ending our conversation. “I’m sure there’s a lot for you two to catch up on, and we won’t keep you much longer. But Miss Valentine, is there anything else going on you need to tell us? Anything at all?”
I look around the hallway, pausing to stare at the spot the notes have been, and shake my head slowly. “No, not that I can think of.”
“And do you have any idea who might be doing this?” Officer Dowden crosses his arms over his chest and waits, watching my reaction. “Is there anyone who might be mad at you or want to scare you for any reason?”
I dig deep and rely on all those acting skills I’ve been working on for a decade. Pushing my shoulders back and raising my head, I look him in the eye. “No. I have no idea who would want to do this to me.”
“Okay.” Officer Toliver nods his head. “We’ll add this to your file and continue to patrol the area regularly. Don’t worry. We’ll figure this out.”
“Until then,” his partner says, “if you think of anything, please let us know.”
I nod my head in his direction and try to pull my thoughts from the one place I don’t want them to go. Because I know this is Lucas. The notes. The flowers. The fear. All of it lines up to equal classic Lucas.
“Sabra?” I look to find all three men watching me closely again.
“I’m sorry, what?” I shake my head. “This is all a lot to take in.”
“I was asking if you were going to be okay,” Officer Toliver says. “Maybe you shouldn’t be by yourself tonight?”
“I’ll stay with her tonight.” Trevor puts his hand on the small of my back. “I’ve got her.”
“You okay with that plan?” Officer Dowden asks.
“Yes.” I sigh. “That’s perfect with me.” My eyes find Trevor’s, and although he’s smiling at me, the confusion is still there tinged with a bit of frustration too. I’m going to have a lot of explaining to do.
“We’ll get out of your hair,” the blue-eyed officer says.
Officer Toliver waves the roses in our direction and turns to walk down the stairs. “Call us if you think of anything else.”
“Will do.” My voice shakes. “Thank you.”
I turn and look at Trevor. He’s staring over my head with his eyes drilling a hole in my door.
“Trevor.” I reach over and take his hand.
“Not right now, Sabra.” He squeezes my hand within his own, but a muscle clenches in his jaw. “You’re going to need to give me a minute.”
“Okay.” I stand there not knowing what to do or say.
“Let’s get inside and order dinner.” He shakes his head slowly and looks into my eyes. “Then you can fill me in, okay?”
“Yes, okay. Sounds good.” I unlock my door and step inside with Trevor behind me.
“You were going to fill me in on everything that’s been happening this last week?” Trevor sits on the floor next to me with his plate of sesame chicken on his knees. This is his second trip to the kitchen. The past forty-five minutes has been quiet. We ordered dinner and made small talk while we waited for them to deliver it.
I tried to talk to him about everything, but he asked me to wait until later because he was still processing it all. I agreed and went about pulling down plates, opening a bottle of wine, and making sure everything was ready. The need to stay busy and not think too hard about what will happen when I lay everything out for Trevor trembled through me. Almost everything. He doesn’t need to know everything.
“Yeah, okay. A few days ago, I woke up and was leaving for class.”
“What day was it?” Trevor interrupts me.
“Thursday morning.” I watch something flicker across his face.
“But I saw you Thursday. I brought you tea.” He puts his plate on the floor in front of him and turns to lean on the couch next to me. One hand rests on my knee with his thumb rubbing circles. “Why didn’t you say something when I saw you, Sabra?”
“Honestly, I didn’t know what to say. It freaked me out, but I hadn’t heard back from anyone to know much more than there was a message written in red across the wall in front of my door.” I take a deep breath. “It wasn’t until later I realized I was right to be freaked out.”
“What do you mean a message written on the wall? Was that the vandalism the cops were talking about?” His hand stills on my leg. “And what do you mean you realized you were right to be freaked out?”
“I don’t know where to start.” I pull my knees to my chest and try to make myself as small as possible.
“Start at the beginning.” Trevor moves to sit next to me on the couch and pulls my balled-up form into his lap. “I want to know all of it.”
“I don’t think I’m ready to give you all of it yet, Trevor.” I glance at him from underneath my lashes. “It’s a lot.”
“Sabra.” He pauses and waits until I lift my eyes to look him directly in the face. “I want all of it, all of you. Nothing you say to me will change that.”
“I hear you say that Trevor, and I want to believe it. My heart clings to those words in ways that would probably scare you and have you running for the hills if I could articulate it properly. Hell”—I laugh— “I’d run from myself right now if I could.”
“Babe, I don’t think you’re hearing me.”
“I hear you. I’m just not sure you know exactly what you’re saying.” I lift my hand and run my fingers through his hair. “I want to believe it. Honestly, I want to hold these promises you’re throwing out to me like a lifeline, but you don’t know everything.” I see he’s about to interrupt me again and rush on. “And I can’t give you everything yet. Maybe not ever.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean?”
He cups my cheek. “Why can’t you give me all of it? Don’t you trust me? After all these years, especially the past few months, can’t you see that I mean what I say?” His thumb rubs along my cheekbone, and he stares deeply into my eyes. “Even more so when it comes to you? I would do anything for you.”
“I do believe that,” I whisper back at him. “But there are things I haven’t come to terms with myself. And I’m not ready to say them out loud. My past is ugly. I can give you some of it, and maybe someday, all of it. I don’t know. But for now, this is where I’m at.”
He watches me closely as he thinks through everything I said. “Fine.”
“Fine?”
“Yes, fine. I’ll take what you’re willing to give me.” He reaches between us
, picks up my hand, and links our fingers. “But babe, I need to tell you something before you share it all with me. You need to know this.”
“Okay.”
He catches my words with a quick kiss and continues talking. “Everyone has a past. All of us. Some are filled with laughter and joy, and others are filled with dark, frightening things. But no one moves forward without something behind them. While I don’t like thinking about the things behind you being dark or frightening…” He pauses to take a deep breath.
“Trevor, you don’t need to—”
“No, let me finish.” He leans down and rests his forehead against mine. “While I don’t like the thought of that, I’m also not going to let things that happened in our past define our future. You mean the world to me. My focus is the here and now and moving forward with you. Are you hearing me, Sabra?” He waits until I nod and brushes away the tears pooling in the bottom of my eyes.
“I want a present and a future with you, sweetheart. We can’t ignore the things that have happened or were done to us in the past. They have helped mold us into who we are today. And I love who you are today, Sabra. But we can take the steps to move in the opposite direction and embrace the next things. I want to do that beside you. If you’ll let me. Okay?”
Tears stream down my cheeks, and I burrow into his chest, leaving wet spots on his shirt. “Are you sure?” I whisper. “I don’t want to—”
“I’m sure, Sabra. I’ve never been surer of anything in my life.” He squeezes me to him tighter before pushing me a little bit away and looking in my eyes again. “There is nothing you can say that will make me ‘run for the hills,’ as you put it. I want everything you’re willing to give me.”
I stand, walk across the room, and run my hands through my hair before turning around and facing him. “Okay, but I need you to know I’ve never shared this with anyone.” I wait for a reaction, but his face remains blank and calm. “Not even Micah.”
“Micah doesn’t know any of it?” He moves to stand.
“No, stay there.” I throw my hands out in front of me and watch him settle back into the corner of the couch with his hands up in surrender. The same corner I’ve curled up in staring at the door, waiting for Lucas to find me. “I need a little bit of distance while I tell you this.”