The Girl's Guide to Falling in Love

by Sophie Hart

  ‘That’s so cute!’ Zoe cut in.

  ‘Yeah, I thought he was really good-looking, and he seemed… I don’t know. I mean, every time he passed my desk he would stop and chat, or make a funny comment. He always said hello. Not all of them did – some of the staff were a bit snooty, and didn’t have time for you if you were on reception, but Nick always made an effort.

  ‘It got to the stage where I was waiting to see him every day, and when I did my tummy would flutter like crazy,’ Julia continued, smiling despite herself. ‘We had really good banter too. We could tease each other, and make each other laugh.’

  ‘Did you ask him out?’ Zoe wondered breathlessly.

  ‘No, I was too scared! I was pretty sure from the way he talked that he was single, and I guessed he liked me too, but it would have been so awkward if I’d asked him out and he’d said no. We still had to work together after all. But then one day we were talking and he seemed a bit nervous,’ Julia remembered, glancing over to where Nick was chatting to Linda. Annie had pulled up a chair and was listening to their conversation, and Julia couldn’t help but wonder how Nick was recounting his version of the story. Did he see it the same way that she did? Did he still get misty eyed when he reminisced about their early days, and wonder how everything had gone so wrong for them now?

  Julia dragged her attention back to Zoe, who was eagerly waiting for the next instalment.

  ‘Like I said, we were talking, and he sort of steered the conversation round to food and what kind of restaurants I liked. I told him that I loved Italian, and he mentioned this great new place that had just opened, and did I fancy going some time? Of course, I said yes, but I still wasn’t sure if it was an actual date, or whether we were just work colleagues socialising.’

  ‘Of course it was a date. He obviously fancied you,’ Zoe said knowledgably.

  ‘Well, I hoped so,’ Julia confessed. ‘And I made a massive effort. I went to the hairdressers to get a professional blow-dry beforehand, and I bought a whole new outfit – shoes, handbag, everything. I just really liked him.’

  ‘And was it amazing?’

  Julia’s face softened as she thought about it. ‘Yeah, it was. We had a brilliant evening. It’s all a bit of a blur, to be honest, as I was so nervous – I didn’t want to spill anything down my new dress, or get something stuck between my teeth! I remember how confident Nick seemed, and he smelt gorgeous. Hugo Boss,’ she recalled fondly.

  ‘Five minutes left,’ Annie called out, as she stood up from Linda and Nick and moved on to another pairing.

  ‘When we came out of the restaurant, Nick took my hand, and I was ready to explode with excitement. We went to some bars and just had so much fun. We couldn’t stop talking, and then we went to a club and danced until two am. You might not believe it, but he’s a great dancer,’ Julia continued, looking over at her husband once again. ‘Well, he used to be. It’s ages since we’ve been dancing now. Too old, I guess.’

  ‘You’re not too old,’ Zoe scoffed. ‘You should definitely go out some time. Hit the town on a Friday night! I mean, Norwich probably doesn’t have the best clubbing scene in the world, but there’re some fun places, and it’s always a good laugh. You should come out with me and Simon.’

  ‘Maybe… I don’t think Nick and I are really in that place any more.’

  ‘All the more reason to do it,’ Zoe encouraged. ‘Recapture your youth.’

  ‘It feels like that’s long gone,’ Julia replied, with a wry smile.

  Zoe paused, unsure how to reply. ‘How long have you been married?’ she asked eventually.

  ‘Three years.’

  ‘And what was the wedding like? Simon and I have just got engaged – see,’ Zoe grinned, holding up her left hand to show off the sparkling diamond. ‘So I’m a bit obsessed with weddings, and what other people did for theirs.’

  ‘Oh, it was such a good day. You’ll have a ball,’ Julia assured her. ‘The party afterwards is amazing too. You have all your favourite people – all your family and friends and everyone you love – all in the same room.’

  ‘Everyone keeps telling me it’ll go by so fast, and I won’t have time to take it all in.’

  ‘That’s true. You want to talk to everyone, and make sure they’re having fun, and enjoy your new husband all at the same time, so the day just flies.’

  ‘What was your dress like? I can’t decide which style to go for. I can’t decide on anything really,’ Zoe confessed with a giggle. ‘I’m trying to pull this whole wedding together so fast and it’s a nightmare. I never knew there was so much to organise – the reception, and the catering, and the flowers, and the band. It’s endless.’

  ‘Well, if you need a hand, it’s what I do for a living,’ Julia offered. ‘Like I said, I’ve only been going for about a year, but I’ve already built up some good contacts and I’m sure I’d be able to help. Having someone to organise your wedding can really take the stress out of it for you.’

  ‘That’d be incredible!’ Zoe’s eyes lit up, but just as quickly her face fell again. ‘I don’t think we’d be able to afford it though. We’re on such a tight budget.’

  ‘I’d be happy to do you a deal,’ Julia shrugged. ‘Especially if you’d let me take some photos on the day and give me a testimonial for my website. It’s early days still, so I need to build up as much experience as possible. And I can keep my fee really low, as I cut deals with the suppliers and take my commission out of that.’

  ‘That would be unbelievable – if you think it’d be possible?’

  ‘Look, why don’t I give you my card?’ Julia suggested, searching through her purse and handing over her business card. ‘Give me a call some time, and we can chat about your budget, and what you’re looking for.’

  ‘That sounds ace,’ Zoe squealed, barely able to hide her excitement. ‘Ooh, is that you?’ she asked, noticing Julia’s phone resting on top of her handbag, the screensaver showing a blonde-haired woman in a bridal gown.

  ‘Yeah,’ Julia grinned, looking bashful. ‘I’d forgotten it was on there. I really should change it.’

  ‘No, leave it,’ Zoe insisted. ‘Do you mind if I take a look? I’d love to see your dress.’

  ‘Sure,’ Julia agreed. ‘Here, I’ve got a few wedding pics saved in a folder…’ She scrolled through her photos then handed the phone to Zoe. ‘There you go.’

  ‘Ohhh, you look gorgeous!’ Zoe breathed, taking in the strapless, mermaid-cut satin gown and sparkling tiara. ‘Seriously Julia, you’re stunning. Your dress looks incredible. And I love your hair.’

  ‘Thanks, my friend Hanni did it for me.’

  ‘It’s beautiful.’ Zoe flicked to the next photo. ‘Ooh, Nick looks so handsome!’ she gushed. ‘Some men just really suit formal wear, don’t they? Aww, you both look so happy.’

  ‘Do we?’ Julia looked sceptical. ‘I suppose we were. Funny how things change.’

  Her face clouded over once again, then both women looked up as they heard Annie’s voice.

  ‘Okay, your ten minutes are up. It’s time to switch over,’ she announced.

  Julia turned to Zoe, forcing herself to smile as she slipped her phone back into her bag. ‘Right, that’s enough about me. It’s your turn now, and I want to hear all about how you met Simon…’

  16

  Chapter Sixteen

  ‘Man may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it’ – Candace Bushnell, Sex and the City

  ‘Nick, are you coming?’

  Nick glanced up to see Nina standing beside his desk. Despite the fact that it was just gone six pm and the end of the working day, Nina still looked as fresh as though she’d just arrived, in a slim-fitting red dress and matching jacket. She was staring at him questioningly.

  ‘Huh?’ Nick replied, aware that he sounded stupid.

  ‘I was just saying, a few of us are heading to the pub. Do you fancy coming along?’

  Nick hesitated. Right now, he couldn’t think of anything better
than a pint of cool, crisp lager, a game of pool and a packet of thick-cut steak crisps. But that wasn’t really an option for him these days. No doubt Julia would be waiting at home for him, with a sour expression and a new set of lingerie.

  ‘I… I really should be getting home,’ he replied eventually, the look on his face making it clear how much he wanted to stay.

  ‘Oh, just come for one,’ Nina pleaded. ‘It’s my two-month anniversary – I’ve been here eight weeks today! And you’ve been so good to me, helping me settle in and find my feet. I’d really like to get you a drink, to say thanks.’

  Once again, Nick felt himself waver. Over by the door, half a dozen of his colleagues were waiting with their coats on, watching him expectantly. He looked at Nina, hope written all over her face, and tried to remember the last time someone had desired his company so much.

  ‘Okay,’ Nick agreed impulsively, as Nina clapped her hands together in delight. ‘Just the one.’ He grabbed his coat and tapped out a quick text message to Julia.

  ‘Ready?’ Nina asked, looking thrilled.

  Nick nodded, realising that he was actually looking forward to tonight. It had been ages since he’d gone out after work, and not simply dashed home to a sullen Julia. He looked across at Nina and smiled.

  ‘Let’s go.’

  * * *

  The kettle clicked off, and Julia poured the boiling water over a bag of raspberry leaf tea, which was supposed to tone the uterus, the pelvic muscles, and aid with fertility in general. She blew across the top of the mug, taking a sip and wincing. It tasted disgusting, but if it was going to help her conceive, then she was willing to try it. She carried the drink through to the living room, picking up a copy of Mother & Baby magazine from the coffee table, and flopping down on the sofa.

  It had been a long and hectic day at work, driving round the countryside from one beautiful old manor house to the next, trying to find the perfect location for the anniversary party she’d been booked to organise. In between, Julia had been almost permanently on her phone, attempting to placate the demanding mother of a spoilt child whose ‘Sweet Sixteen’ she was arranging. Julia loved her job, but trying to explain why it would be impossible to source sixteen miniature white ponies and dye them all in different shades of pink wasn’t high up on the list of things she wanted to be doing.

  She’d hoped Nick would come home on time tonight, but he clearly wasn’t back yet. He was always working late at the moment – and leaving early in the mornings too – and Julia strongly suspected that he was doing it on purpose to stay out of the house. The thought saddened her. Tonight, especially, she could really do with a friendly face. Launching her own business was proving hugely stressful, and Julia would have valued her husband’s support and advice.

  At least she had a potential new job, helping to organise Zoe’s wedding, Julia remembered, cheering slightly at the thought. Although Zoe was a few years younger than her, she seemed like a sweet girl, and Julia was looking forward to spending more time with her. She’d been feeling increasingly lonely in recent months, discovering that the downside of working for herself was that she had very little opportunity to meet new people and make new friends. In an unfamiliar city, far away from everyone she knew, there was no one Julia could call for an impromptu coffee; no one to confide in about the problems she was having with Nick, or her difficulty in getting pregnant.

  On a whim, Julia grabbed the phone to call Naomi, her best friend from back home in Derby. She quickly dialled the number she knew off by heart, and listened eagerly to the ringtone, hoping her friend would pick up.

  ‘Hello?’

  ‘Hi Naomi, it’s Jules. Have you got time to chat?’

  ‘Of course, yes! I haven’t heard from you in ages! How are you?’

  Julia felt close to tears, hearing her friend’s voice. ‘Oh, not bad, you know,’ she said casually, fighting to hold it all together. ‘How about you?’

  ‘I’m good! Alfie’s just gone down for a nap, but he’ll be up shortly.’ Alfie was Naomi’s baby son, and he was six months old. Julia had only seen him once since he’d been born, when she and Nick had taken a weekend trip back to Derby to catch up with family and friends. ‘I’m okay for at least the next half hour though. Oh, it’s so good to hear from you, Jules!’

  ‘You too. How’s Nathan?’ Julia said, asking after Naomi’s husband.

  ‘He’s really well. He’s up in Glasgow tonight for a work thing, so I’m by myself with the baby. It’s the perfect time to talk actually. How about Nick, how’s he getting on?’

  Julia hesitated before she replied. ‘Yeah, he’s okay. Busy with work. He’s working a lot – we both are actually, but I guess we knew that would be the case when we moved here.’

  As she finished speaking, she heard her mobile beep and picked it up:

  Still at work, shouldn’t be too late. Don’t worry about food, I’ll sort myself out x

  Speak of the devil, Julia thought wryly, noticing how detached his tone was. There was no ‘love you’ and only one kiss.

  ‘I’ve actually just got a text from him now,’ she told Naomi, forcing a laugh. ‘He’s working late tonight, as per usual. At least it means I can chat longer.’ Julia tried her best to sound upbeat but Naomi, who’d known her since primary school, wasn’t fooled.

  ‘Julia,’ she began gently. ‘What’s this really all about? Is everything okay with you and Nick?’

  Julia opened her mouth, ready to insist that everything was fine, but what came out instead was a muffled sob. ‘No,’ she managed, her face crumpling as the tears began to flow. ‘No, it’s not all right at all. I don’t understand what’s happening with us. We’re trying for a baby – I told you about that, right? – but it’s just not happening and we seem to be falling apart…’ Julia broke off, unable to speak for crying.

  ‘Oh, love,’ Naomi’s sympathy reached down the line from a hundred miles away. ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘No, I’m sorry,’ Julia gulped. ‘Forget I said anything.’

  ‘Don’t be crazy. Come on, pour yourself a glass of wine, get comfortable and tell me all about it.’

  ‘I can’t drink,’ Julia managed through her tears, looking sadly at the rapidly cooling mug of raspberry leaf tea. ‘I’ve given up alcohol in case it affects my fertility.’

  ‘Oh, Julia,’ Naomi sighed, but there was a smile in her voice, and before long Julia was laughing too.

  ‘Naomi, it’s so good to talk to you. I just… I really feel like I’m losing my mind these past few months. And I feel like I’m losing Nick. We don’t seem to be able to connect any more. We’re having all this sex to try and get pregnant, but the irony is we’re so far apart, mentally. I just don’t know what to do.’.’

  ‘Maybe Nick’s stressed because of work,’ Naomi suggested.

  ‘Maybe. I can’t help thinking it’s more than that.’

  ‘Does he definitely want a baby? He might be having second thoughts, worrying about losing his youth or something.’

  ‘It could be that, I suppose. But you know Nick. He’s always been the sensible one – mature and committed. He’s always worked hard to ensure we have a good future, and kids are definitely part of that plan.’

  ‘Have you tried talking to him about it?’

  ‘I’ve tried, but it always seems to descend into an argument. Although…’ Julia trailed off.

  ‘Although what?’

  ‘I’m so embarrassed to admit this but…’ Julia took a deep breath. ‘We’ve been to see a therapist.’

  ‘Huh?’

  ‘It was Nick’s idea. A sex therapist. Please don’t tell anyone,’ she begged.

  ‘A sex therapist? What do they do, watch you and tell you where you’re going wrong?’

  Julia burst out laughing. ‘No, thank God. Could you imagine? Nick, put your hand there – a bit higher, that’s it! Julia, how’s that for you?’ The two women were in hysterics. ‘No, it’s more talking about your feelings and your relationship, then the th
erapist sets us exercises to do at home. Would you believe Nick’s complaining that we’re having too much sex? He says it feels impersonal, and that he wants more foreplay and more cuddles.’

  ‘Aw, I think that’s sweet,’ Naomi insisted. ‘It does sound like he’s making an effort, if he’s the one who suggested going.’

  ‘Yeah, I suppose,’ Julia agreed, wondering whether she’d been too harsh on him. ‘Perhaps I do need to pull back a bit. But I want a baby so badly, you know?’

  ‘I know. Although maybe you should come and look after Alfie for a few days, that might change your mind – sleepless nights, shitty nappies, constantly looking like crap. And believe me, sex will be the last thing on your mind once you’ve actually given birth. It destroys what’s down there.’

  Julia burst into cackles of laughter. ‘But it’s all worth it, right?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Naomi replied, her voice softening. As if on cue, Julia heard the sound of a baby crying in the background. ‘Oh, I’ve got to go, it’s feeding time. Listen, don’t let the situation get you down, okay? You can always ring me any time you need to. And give Nick a break. You got lucky – he’s one of the good guys.’

  ‘He is, isn’t he?’ Julia agreed. ‘Thanks so much, Naomi. Give Alfie a big kiss and a cuddle from me, and send my love to Nathan.’

  ‘Will do. Speak soon.’

  ‘Bye.’ Julia hung up, thinking about what her friend had said. Maybe she was being too hard on Nick. Like Naomi said, he was one of the good guys. Maybe Julia needed to appreciate him more.

  * * *

  Nick was starting to feel pleasantly drunk as he started on his third pint of lager. He’d had nothing to eat except two bags of crisps, which he’d shared with Nina, and he knew that he wasn’t going to be able to drive home tonight. Oh well, he thought recklessly, he could just call a taxi.