by Jill Shalvis
letting someone in other than us.”
“This isn’t about me. Harley doesn’t want—” TJ broke off. She didn’t want casual.
And he hadn’t exactly offered her anything else, had he? At the realization, he closed his gritty eyes.
It was him after all.
Skye was standing at Harley’s kitchen counter, slurping up a bowl of Frosted Flakes.
“Why can’t you inhale the crappy cereal?” Harley asked her.
“This is the crappy cereal. I left you some.”
Harley picked up the box of Frosted Flakes and shook it. Approximately three crumbs rumbled around.
“Well, you did say you didn’t want to have to run today. Consider this me doing you a favor.”
Harley sighed and poured herself a bowl of the healthy stuff. It had raisins. Hurray.
“You have e-mail,” Skye said, and gestured with her spoon to the open laptop on the table. “Colorado wants you to respond to their job offer.”
“You read my mail?”
“You have fun spam. You got two penis enlargement offers and someone named Trixie wants to meet you. What the hell’s taking you so long to get back to them about the job offer? Don’t you want it anymore?”
Of course she wanted it.
Didn’t she?
“Harl?”
“Yeah,” she said absently. “I want it.”
“Good.” Skye tipped her bowl up to her mouth and drank the leftover milk. “Since you’ll be gone, I have a question.”
“Yes, you can have my truck. I’m going to need to buy a newer one.”
“Actually, I was going for something different. Something less…inanimate.”
“Like?”
“Like Nolan.”
Harley blinked.
“Are you mad?” Skye asked.
“Nolan,” Harley repeated. “And you.”
“I know, he seems so…tame for me, right? But I have a feeling that beneath that easygoing exterior beats the heart of a real tiger.”
“But you’re leaving, too. You’re going to the city.”
“Which is only like three hours away. Far enough that I have plenty of space, yet close enough for wild animal sex on the weekends. Jeez, Harley, these days no one lets long distance keep a relationship down.”
TJ stood in his bedroom packing for the early morning flight to Seattle, then Anchorage. He’d made this particular Alaska trip at least a dozen times. It was a combination rock and mountain climbing/guided trek, and it required a high level of expert skill from his client. Normally for a trip like this, TJ would take clients out on a shorter trek first to prove their skills, but in this case, Colin West was a repeat client. He and TJ had taken the exact same trip three years ago.
Colin was a forty-year-old surgeon who rock climbed in his spare time. The reason the trip was so last minute was because he was supposed to be getting married to his longtime girlfriend Lydia that weekend, but he’d panicked.
And he’d needed an escape.
TJ had just had a late dinner at the lodge. Annie had cooked all his favorites, joking that by the time he got back she wouldn’t be able stay on her feet that long. Hell, she’d probably not even be able to see her feet. When he’d laughed and agreed, she smacked him on the back of his head. Then hugged him good-bye so tight that he’d had to check his ribs afterwards for cracks. Katie and Emma had sandwiched him with hugs as well, and he pulled them both in close, smirking over their heads at his brothers when he got lots of kisses, too.
“Hands off my woman,” Stone said mildly, and pulled Emma from him.
So TJ had held onto Katie, the both of them laughing when Cam yanked her free as well.
Then he’d been left alone in the kitchen with Annie and Nick, who were locked in each other’s arms against the counter. Annie was nuzzling Nick’s throat, and he had a hand curled low and protective on her belly, a look on his face that could only be described as bliss.
TJ walked out the back door without them even realizing he was gone. Back in his cabin, he finished packing, then stood in the middle of the living room he’d built with Cam and Stone. The place was small but the high, open-beamed ceilings made it seem much larger than it was, aided by the large picture windows. Still, it was big enough for him, and comfortable, especially since he was hardly ever home for more than a week at a time. Anyway, it’d always felt like more of a place to stay than home. He’d never really thought about that before. The cabin was more a part of his journey than his destination.
There came a soft knock on his door. Figuring it was someone named Wilder, he called out, “it’s open,” but to his surprise, Harley walked in.
And his heart kicked hard.
CHAPTER 27
Harley gave up trying to explain to herself why she needed to drive out to TJ’s the night before he left. There were no words for what she needed. There were only the feelings that he’d accused her of trying to avoid.
Fat chance of truly being successful at that. She’d been feeling something for him in one form or another for too many years to count.
But apparently, for once, he didn’t have words either. He stood in the doorway between his kitchen and the living room, arms up and braced on the oak doorjamb, looking dead sexy.
And dead set on letting her make the first move.
It was her move. She knew that.
He wore a pair of ragged old basketball shorts that fell to his knees and nothing else. His hair was in need of a trim, and it tumbled over his forehead, curling onto his neck. His expression, usually calm and easy, usually amused or getting there, was something else entirely, something she’d not seen from him before.
Hollow. Bleak.
She stepped close, her heart dropping. “What’s wrong?”
He let out a low, mirthless laugh and didn’t answer. Nor did he move.
“TJ?”
“Why are you here, Harley?”
Not expecting that grim, unwelcoming response, she hesitated, nearly turning tail and running. But he cared for her, she reminded herself. Deeply. He’d shown it a hundred times. In that way, maybe in all ways, he was far braver than she.
That stopped now. She became brave now. Stepping toe-to-toe with him, she put her hands on his chest. As his gaze met hers, she let her hands slide down his ribs, to the abs that she never got tired of touching. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.”
Her fingers got to the tie on his shorts and she saw awareness flare in his eyes.
And surprise.
She couldn’t blame him. For the most part, he’d always been the first to touch. Okay, not just for the most part. Always. He’d always been the first to touch.
That had been her own stupid fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of not being enough. Of being hurt…
No more fear.
“Harley, why are you here?” he asked again.
“I got the job in Colorado.”
“Congratulations,” he said with no surprise.
“You knew I would,” she breathed softly, no longer startled that he’d always had more faith in her than she had.
“I knew you would,” he agreed.
“That’s not why I’m here.”
He didn’t move, not even his hands, which were still above his head, braced on the wood as if he didn’t quite trust himself to touch her. He merely stood there, arms taut, body taut, waiting with that endless patience of his.
Except…it wasn’t endless. She had a feeling he’d reached his limits when it came to her. She bit her lower lip. “You said some stuff to me at my mom’s party.”
“Yeah.”
“I know it didn’t seem like it, but I heard you. I’m here for that good-bye you talked about.”
“I thought you didn’t do good-byes.”
“I never have.” Bracing her hands on his belly, she went up on tiptoes and brushed her lips across his, and when his body tensed and tightened, she did it again.
And then again.
“Until you,” she whispered, nibbling at the corner of his mouth. “You, TJ Wilder, I can’t seem to walk away from without one. I tried, but I can’t do it.” The other corner of his mouth…“Unless you’ve changed your mind.”
“No.” There was a faint trace of humor in his voice, but she suspected it was aimed at himself. Unfortunately, he still hadn’t made a move.
“I need you, TJ.”
At that, he made a low, inarticulate sound in his throat, and dropped his hands to her waist. “What?” he asked.
She stared at him. “Are you really going to make me say it again?”
“Yes.”
She blew out a breath. “Fine. I need you. Okay? I. Need. You.”
“Look at that, and you didn’t even choke on it.”
She sagged. “Give me a break. This whole thing is frustrating. I don’t need people. People need me. But you, TJ”—she pressed a hand to her aching heart—“I need. And I really hope you got it that time because it doesn’t seem to be getting any easier to say.”
He cupped her jaw, his eyes raking over her face, searching her eyes. Whatever he saw in them softened his. “I need you, too, Harley. So much.” He still wasn’t pressed up against her, but she felt something in her relax anyway as his hands gently squeezed her hips.
More. She needed even more. She let her fingers skim over his chest, feeling the muscles beneath quiver as she worked her way down. Past his belly button to the waistband of his shorts, so low on his hips as to be quite, deliciously indecent. It took her breath. He took her breath, and her fingers kept going even lower, gliding over the erection straining against the thin material. “You’re going to burst at the seams,” she murmured.
He made a choked sound, half laugh, half groan, and dipped his head, nuzzling her hair as if he couldn’t help himself.
“You commando again?”
“Yeah,” he said thickly, and just like that, she went damp.
“Kiss me,” she whispered, and then took matters in her own hands, yanking his head to hers.
With another of those rough, sexy sounds, he buried a hand in her hair, using the other at the small of her back to finally pull her in. His palm slid down to cup her butt, rocking her hard against him. She wore a flimsy little halter sundress, a gauzy number that was so comfortable. The hem was easy enough for him to bunch up in impatient fingers and then he slipped into her panties as well, holding her bare bottom in both hands.
“Christ, Harley,” he gasped hoarsely against her collarbone when his fingers slipped farther down, between her thighs, finding her hot and wet. She shivered, and he lifted her, pinning her to the wall. His lips pressed to her throat and one of his hands twined in her hair, tugging her face up to his. Leaning in, until his lips almost brushed hers, he whispered, “I was going to come to you tonight.”
“You were?”
“In about ten more seconds. Even knowing you wouldn’t want—”
She cupped his face. “I want.” There was so little space between them, her lips brushed his with each word. “I want you,” she whispered. “I need you.”
He slid a thigh between hers, lifting her up with it so that they were mouth to mouth. “Do you need this?”
“So much.”
The words were barely out of her mouth before he kissed her, rough and demanding. She responded in kind, trembling, already on the very edge. He wasn’t exactly steady himself, but he didn’t break the kiss as he trailed his hand up her thigh.
She untied his shorts, tugging them to his thighs. Yep, he was butt-ass naked beneath, and she nearly had an orgasm on the spot. Then he ripped away her panties and suddenly she was commando, too.
Still kissing her, he shoved up her dress and pushed into her, their twin gasps of pleasure filling the room.
As wound up as she was, she came in two thrusts. He was right behind her. Unable to remain upright through his orgasm, he slid down, still holding tightly to her, still embedded deeply within her as his knees hit the floor.
Chests heaving, half dressed, half not, they stayed like that for long moments, her forehead to his shoulder, his face buried in her hair.
“Bed,” he finally murmured, and somehow got them both down the hall.
He set her down in the middle of his room. Pulling back, Harley slid her hands up to the nape of her neck, untied her halter, and let it fall.
The dress slipped to her hips and caught on TJ’s hands. With a flick of his wrists, the material floated to her feet. “Now you,” she said breathlessly, then without waiting for him, shoved his shorts off.
Kicking free of them, he ran a finger over a breast, lightly grazing the hardened tip. “God, you’re beautiful,” he said, turning, nudging her onto the bed. She scooted backwards up the mattress and he followed, pinning her there with his weight. His lips went to her throat, nipping lightly until her nails dug into his shoulders. Shifting downward, he kissed her collarbone, then a breast, while she ground helplessly into him in a desperate attempt to relieve the already building pressure.
“Not fast, not this time,” he murmured, kissing her belly, a hip, her thighs. He pushed them open until his shoulders could fit between, settling her legs where he wanted them.
“TJ, I need…”
“Anything,” he promised.
You, she wanted to say. I need you to love me.
He traced a finger over her center, and she jerked and arched up for more, but he refused to be rushed. Instead, his other hand slid over her belly, holding her down for his ministrations. Bending his head, he kissed an inner thigh. His day-old stubble lightly scraped over her sensitive, quivering flesh, making her cry out. “You like that,” he murmured, and did it again so that she moaned. “Yeah, I like that, too.” He kissed her other thigh. And then in between. “And this,” he said silkily against her. I love this.”
“Oh, God.” She couldn’t put a thought together. Hell, she couldn’t breathe. It was instant and hot and she was already shuddering, her body practically convulsing. “Please.” He was still right there at her core, lightly kissing her damp folds. She felt his breath brush over her, and even that was almost enough to do her in. “Don’t stop. Don’t ever stop.”
His eyes flashed, something deep and meaningful, but she couldn’t quite grasp it, couldn’t do anything but cry out as he bent his head and sucked her into his mouth at the same time that he slid two fingers into her, rocketing her straight to the shattering climax she’d been begging for. By the time she managed to come back to herself, he was kneeling between her spread legs, eyes hot and fierce. He held her undoubtedly dreamy, enraptured gaze as he entwined their hands together beside her head and drove into her with one fierce thrust, plunging deep. Her hips arched up to meet him, their gazes still connected, their bodies connected, hell, their souls connected as she wrapped her legs around him. He held onto her just as tight, as if she was his lifeline.
He was certainly hers.
No matter what happened, no matter how far apart they ended up, she’d always have that. Needing even more, she pulled him down over her so she could feel his heart pounding, beating in tune to hers.
Eyes dark, he pulled nearly all the way out before thrusting back in to the hilt, making her gasp his name as the need and hunger took over, touching every part of her with every part of him. Their breathing combined, ragged and rough, shutting everything else out.